Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kross’ eyes shifted between the road and his rearview mirror that allowed him to see Aniyis in the back seat.
Despite being at war in his mind regarding the DNA test he found, Kross could never find it within himself to not uphold his duties as a father to Aniyis.
They were just coming back from Aniyis’ therapy session, and from how despondent he seemed in the back seat, Kross could tell he and his therapist got deep when talking about the shooting and Cassie’s passing.
Kross had the option to sit in on the session if he wanted to, but he respected Aniyis’ wishes and sat outside.
He thought it was something he did or maybe even said to make Aniyis not want him present during the session, but after speaking to Raquel, he found out that Aniyis did the same to her too.
He was just much more comfortable speaking on the matter alone with his therapist, and that was fine.
“Daddy,” Aniyis called from the back seat.
“What’s up, little man?”
“How come Mommy died, but I didn’t?” he asked in a low voice.
His loaded question damn near made Kross’ heart stop.
Aniyis had finally reached the stage of processing trauma where he was faced with survivor’s remorse.
Kross always feared that it would happen but thought he was in the clear since Aniyis had been doing so well in his recovery.
He felt horrible for being so dumbfounded and stunned by the question.
The look on Aniyis’ face let Kross know he was expecting a response, but he didn’t fucking have one.
What could he say to his son to make him feel better or even accept the fact that his mother wasn’t as fortunate as he was?
Kross turned into a nearby parking lot so he could pull over. This deserved his undivided attention. Once the car was in Park, he got out and made his way to the back and sat alongside Aniyis.
“You feeling some type of way about that?” Kross asked him.
Aniyis was too afraid to make eye contact with him, so he nodded his head while keeping his eyes fixed on the chain he was gifted with.
Kross felt a sharp pain sting his heart at Aniyis’ honesty.
Reaching over, he unbuckled Aniyis’ seatbelt and pulled him closer.
He wrapped his arms around him, allowing him to muster up enough courage to offer a verbal response.
“I just wish Mommy was here.” His voice cracked with sadness as his eyes filled with tears.
“I know, ‘Niyis. I wish Mommy was here too. Listen, losing somebody is hard. You gone have your good days and bad days, but never think you being here alive and well is a mistake. Mommy died protecting you because she wanted you to be here so you can make her proud. There’s nobody in this world Mommy loved more than you, not even me,” he chuckled, hoping to lighten things up for his son.
“You being alive is a blessing and a miracle, ‘Niyis. Don’t ever forget that. I don’t think Mommy would have been able to live had it been you who didn’t make it.
She needs you here. I need you here. You’re my reason, Aniyis. ”
Just when Kross thought shit couldn’t get any tougher, Aniyis came and broke his heart. He didn’t want his son thinking he didn’t deserve to live as much as Cassie did. Things went how they went because that was how God wanted it to go. He needed Aniyis to understand that.
Still in tears, Aniyis nodded his head as Kross comforted him. Kross didn’t leave the back seat of the car until he dried up all of Aniyis’ tears and he told him he was okay.
“Are we still gonna go see Mommy?” Aniyis hiccupped.
From the front seat, Kross nodded his head. “Of course, man.”
Despite the anger and betrayal he felt due to the secrets Cassie kept, Kross wasn’t about to deprive Aniyis of visiting her.
They rode to the flower shop to pick her up some flowers like they always would. Kross carried Aniyis on his back so he could help pick an arrangement of flowers. Since it was midday, he didn’t have hopes of finding any roses due to them always being gone early.
“What about these?” Kross asked Aniyis while pointing to a set of tulips.
Aniyis shook his head, evoking a chuckle out of his father. As they roamed the aisles, they were interrupted by one of the employees of the flower shop.
“Excuse me. It’s Kross, right?” the man asked, hoping his memory served him right.
Kross eyed him up and down suspiciously, unsure why he was approaching him, especially while he was with his son. “Why you asking for?”
The man cleared his throat, understanding how awkward his approach may have been. “We have a pre-order of roses for you at the counter from Remedy Harris,” he explained while reading the copy of the receipt slip for the order.
A light smile graced Kross’ face at the extra mile Remedy had gone for him to get the roses.
Through text, he told her he would be visiting Cassie later than usual because he had an appointment with Aniyis.
She never mentioned that she would be purchasing the roses for him.
Instead, she told him to have a great day and assured him they would talk later.
Kross followed the man to the counter, where he was handed the roses that were already wrapped and paid for.
“‘Preciate you, man,” Kross thanked him before slipping a blue hundred-dollar bill into the tip jar.
“Remedy? Is that the lady who did my hair?” Aniyis recalled while Kross strapped him into the back seat.
He nodded in response to his son. “Why is she buying you flowers? Does she like you or something?” His son was inquisitive, so he should’ve known Remedy’s kind act would stir up a million and one questions from him.
A laugh dispelled out of Kross as he shook his head. “Why she gotta like me to do something nice?” He ruffled his dreads before shutting his door, then getting in the front seat.
“Because when Mommy used to get flowers, she used to say it’s because he liked her.”
Kross snapped his head over his shoulder to look at Aniyis. “Who the fuck is he?!” he asked with his face screwed up.
Kross had never gotten Cassie flowers, which was something he shamed himself about, so hearing that she was getting flowers from another nigga had him heated. Just by the look on his father’s face, Aniyis could tell he said something he shouldn’t have.
“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologized.
Immediately, Kross’ face softened as he reached behind him to cup Aniyis’ hand in his. “My fault, little man. I ain’t mean to come off like that. I just didn’t know your mama was getting flowers from anybody. You remember who they were from?”
Aniyis shook his head, prompting Kross to sigh. He wasn’t sure if Aniyis was answering no because he was afraid of his reaction, or if he truly didn’t know. Whichever it was, Kross knew better than to pressure him about it.
They rode to the cemetery, and Kross carried Aniyis high up on his shoulders all the way to Cassie’s grave.
This was the first time since Cassie died that Kross didn’t feel at peace visiting her.
So many things were being revealed to him, and he was learning that Cassie wasn’t who he thought she was.
It had been seven long years, and he never expected her to do all those years without having sex or without the company of someone else.
As a couple, they agreed that she could fuck around with a few females, and in exchange, Kross could fuck one of the female guards at FDC.
They kept shit clean with no feelings attached, and it worked.
Now, finding out that Cassie was questioning who Aniyis’ father was and she had niggas sending her flowers made it clear that she wasn’t as truthful as she claimed to be.
He didn’t really know how to feel about it because all he wanted to do was give her grace.
He loved her with every fiber of his being, and she weathered the storm with him.
He was completely torn. For the duration of the visit, Kross didn’t say much.
He allowed Aniyis to catch his mother up and just vent.
His mind was running a mile a minute, and he was afraid if he said anything, he would mention certain things that Aniyis shouldn’t have knowledge of.
“Bye, Mommy. I love you,” Aniyis said as he readjusted the roses against her headstone.
Kross smiled before kissing his two fingers and sitting it on the headstone. “Love you, Cass.”
They left the cemetery, and Kross headed in the opposite direction of his mother’s house. “Aye, you wanna go see your grandma Joyce?”
The last time Kross laid eyes on Joyce was at Cassie’s funeral where he had to beat Rico’s ass. He knew he was playing a risky game by pulling up on Joyce, but she had something he wanted, and he had something she wanted: Aniyis.
From the back seat, Aniyis nodded his head, agreeing to see his grandmother.
Kross knew the way to Joyce’s house like the back of his hand.
He remembered pulling up constantly to pick Cassie up when they first started dating.
Once they pulled up, Kross was glad to see Joyce’s car was in the driveway.
“Stay in here. I gotta have a few words with your grandmother real quick,” he told Aniyis as he got out the car. He made his way up to the door and applied three firm knocks. It was answered by Joyce, who was stunned to see Kross at her doorstep.
“What are you doing here?” she gritted with nothing but hatred seeping from her eyes.
Kross nodded toward his car before responding to her. “Your grandson wants to see you.”
Hearing that Aniyis was in the car caused a light to strike within Joyce’s eyes. She had been mourning Cassie terribly, and seeing Aniyis would’ve given her the comfort she needed. She attempted to go to the car to see her grandson, but Kross halted her by grabbing her arm.
“Not so fucking fast. I need Cassie’s belongings.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” she seethed while snatching her arm out of his grip.