Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
THREE MONTHS LATER
Kross’s dull and empty eyes drifted to the passenger seat of his car.
There sat three bouquets of ruby red roses that were wrapped nicely in brown paper with a ribbon bundling the long stems. He recalled Remedy always getting her roses wrapped that way, so he did the same.
It had been three long-ass months since he saw her last, and he didn’t realize how much he cared for her until he no longer got to see her.
Remedy departing from his life just proved that he wasn’t destined to ever be happy.
No matter how hard he tried, nothing and no one was forever, and that was a hard pill for him to swallow.
A heavy sigh drifted out of him as he reached over and grabbed the three bouquets of roses.
Getting out of the car, his feet dragged right over to Cassie’s grave.
A light smile etched his face at the sight of the multiple floral arrangements that were left behind for her.
Mother’s Day had rolled around, and he finally mustered up enough strength to get up and pay his respects to her.
No matter how many secrets she left him to figure out alone, she was a damn good mother.
Aniyis was loved and raised so well, and that was thanks to Cassie.
She was adamant that her child wouldn’t have the childhood she had with her judgmental, emotionally unavailable, and toxic mother.
She was everything Joyce wasn’t, and Aniyis was great because of it.
“Happy Mother’s Day, baby,” he said to her while sitting the roses he bought her on her grave. “You were really one of them ones when it came to motherhood. Aniyis was blessed to have you.
“To be real with you, I got the DNA test done for Aniyis. I still don’t got the heart to open the results.
It’s gone fuck me up if he ends up not being mine biologically.
No matter the pain, though, he’s forever gonna be my baby boy.
I don’t think I would ever tell him.” Kross shook his head.
“He’s beginning to feel whole again after losing you.
Telling him I’m not his dad would just form another void in him that he would never get to fill.
If the results say I’m not his dad, I still want you to know that I’m grateful you chose me to be the man in his life.
That little boy means the world to me, and I really can’t imagine life without him.
I’m all he’s got, and I’m honored to be his dad. ”
A brief silence struck Kross as he felt a calm breeze brush over him.
Cassie was present, and, in that moment, he could no longer stand in strength like he had been doing.
His head dropped as he felt a heaviness weigh his heart.
Since getting out of prison, it had just been blow after blow after blow.
He took in a deep breath to compose himself.
He wasn’t about to let life defeat him; he was too strong for that.
Running a hand down his face, he mustered up all the strength he had left to continue speaking to Cassie.
“I’m moving out of the condo. Aniyis been having trouble sleeping there, and honestly, it reminds me too much of you.
I need to move on, Cassie. The longer I hold on, the more I get filled up with anger and resentment, and I’m bound to do some more wild shit.
I’ll never forget about you and what we went through together.
Despite the secrets you died with and questions I have that may forever go unanswered, I know what we had was real. I love you deeply, Cassie.”
He sat with her for a while, just trying to get his emotions together.
The past few weeks had been nothing but dark for him.
Sure, he was making more money than ever and reigned supreme in the streets of Miami by running the Zone 7 Disciples out of the city, but mentally, nothing felt right.
He was still mourning Cassie day in and day out, especially whenever Aniyis longed for her.
Then he was also dealing with losing Los, who had been nothing but a great friend turned brother to him.
Lastly, he was left with nothing but what if’s when it came to Remedy.
She was the closest thing he felt to love since he lost Cassie.
It was like one moment she was here with him, then the next, she wasn’t.
Remedy breathed life into him just when he was about to throw in the towel on love.
He believed wasn’t shit out there that could ever compare to what he had with Cassie, but what he shared with Remedy proved otherwise.
Whether what they had was considered them just trauma bonding or filling up empty voids in their hearts, Kross didn’t give a fuck.
He missed it dearly. Three months of not hearing from her and not knowing if she was dead or alive really fucked him up, but he couldn’t let that take him out.
He had to stand chin up and chest out and live another day.
Once he ordered all his emotions, he said goodbye to Cassie and made his way over to Los’ grave.
A chuckle streamed out of him at the sight of all the Don Julio bottles that were left for his brother.
He knew this was mostly the Paper Chase boys’ doing since they knew how much their homie loved to get lit off the Don.
“Clearly I’m the only motherfucka in Paper Chase that got some fucking sense.” He shook his head in amusement as he made some space between some of the Don Julio bottles so he could sit the roses he got Los down.
“Not gone hold you. Talking to you like this feel weird as fuck. All you fucking do is talk shit and crack jokes. This silence is gonna take a lot of getting used to,” Kross sighed deeply.
“I’m sorry I ain’t tell you this enough while you were here, but I really appreciate you, Los.
You’re my brother, and the same way you looked out for my family when I was locked up, I’m gone do the same for yours.
Your sister Audri, her kids and your mom don’t gotta want or worry for nothing.
Since you been gone, I been covering the payments for your mom’s chemo, so don’t worry.
Everything been looking good with her, and Audri let me know her last session is coming up this month.
I don’t want you up there stressing about nothing. We got you down here.”
Kross was big on family, so it was a no brainer for him, Ezekiel and Noonie to look out for Los’ family after he passed. He knew how important Audri and Lizette were to Los, so he put them on the same pedestal and made sure they were living comfortably, just as they would if Los were still alive.
“We took care of them Zone 7 niggas. Painted they whole spot red behind you and Cassie. When we say we got you, we mean that shit, bro. You were one of the realest niggas I had in my corner, and I will never let your name die out here. You a fucking hood legend, and Paper Chase Empire wouldn’t be where it is today without you. Love you, bro.”
This was his first time visiting Los after his funeral.
It was too much grief to deal with at times, so he would just block out Los’ death.
Today was the day he was strong enough to just face the music and feel everything all at once.
He had to admit that it was a lot less painful than he thought.
Talking to Los brought him peace, just like talking to Cassie did.
After saying goodbye to his homie, he looked down at the last set of roses he had in his hand.
He walked the cemetery until he was met with Deno’s grave.
He hadn’t had a visit in three months now, and it showed just from how brittle and withered the roses Remedy left him during her last visit three months ago were.
Kross had been keeping in close touch with Melo during these past three months.
Just liked him, Melo experienced back-to-back losses.
First the sudden death of his father Deno, then the disappearance of Remedy.
That was a lot for a sixteen-year-old kid to carry all while dealing with his mother’s mental state deteriorating.
Keeping him close was something Kross knew Remedy would have wanted.
He needed someone to look out for him while she was gone.
Whenever Kross would take Melo out to play ball with him and Aniyis or just to pick up some shoes from the mall, they talked about Deno and Remedy often.
Melo still couldn’t find it in him to visit his father’s grave.
That pain was just too much for him, so he communicated with his father through journaling.
It was surprising that he was so comfortable confiding in Kross about his feelings, which was something he never did with Remedy.
Not that he didn’t trust his sister, but he just felt like Kross understood him more. He saw things from a man’s perspective.
Melo was still keeping faith that Remedy was somewhere alive and hopefully well.
He knew his sister. She was a fighter, and she wasn’t going to allow Tone to take her life away from her.
The topic of Remedy was a super sore one for Kross.
He never made any claims about believing whether Remedy was dead or alive.
He wanted her to be alive, but he was leaving it all up to God.
He sat the roses down for Deno before pushing away all the dead weeds and brittle petals that littered his headstone.