Chapter 21
When I wake up, the room is light, and I find Onyx by my side, his warm body pressed close into mine.
“Morning, trouble,” he grumbles, scrubbing a hand over his face.
My eyes dart around the room; the charcoal walls and sleek black furniture are nothing like my own, confirming I’m not waking up in my apartment.
Last night got out of hand in the best way possible.
Now, though, in the light of day, I’m not sure how to handle what I did with Romeo.
“What time is it?” I ask, sitting up in a rush and regretting it immediately when I realize I’m naked.
As my head spins, I scramble for the sheets, trying to cover myself up.
With a groan, I bury my face in my hands, sucking in ragged breaths that do nothing to kill the overwhelming dizziness.
I overdid it yesterday, and I know I’m going to pay for it today, big time.
“It’s just past eight. Are you alright?”
“Yes,” I murmur, feeling anything but.
Things are weird between us, and I know we need to discuss how messy our relationship has gotten.
Like why he fucked off and left me alone after what we shared the other night and why he stayed last night when I was screwing Romeo.
I feel like there is a big fat elephant in the room, and until we get it all out in the open, both of us will be stuck in this strange limbo.
“Where’s Romeo?”
“Shower. ”
It’s then I realize the shower in the adjoining bathroom is running.
“Did you both stay here with me last night?”
He slides out of bed and pulls on his T-shirt; his jeans were still on, like a physical barrier between us, even though I woke with my head on his bare chest. “I wasn’t leaving you alone with him, trouble.”
Where did he sleep?
I passed out after the third orgasm, my body giving up on me.
“And he wasn’t going to leave either,” I whisper almost to myself.
“Nope.”
I glance back toward my fearless bodyguard, my eyes meeting his as I tangle the sheets around my body, slinking my legs over the edge of the bed.
I can’t stand the way things are between us right now.
I want to fix it, but I don’t know how.
“Onyx, what was that last night?” I finally ask, knowing we don’t have a lot of time to talk before Romeo gets out of the shower.
“That was more than you protecting me, and we both know it. You were in here wishing it was you fucking me, weren’t you?”
“I already told you, trouble, one night was all we can have. It’s my job to protect you, and I have no intention of breaking my own rules. Again.” His voice holds a serious edge, and I watch as he takes his gun from under the pillow and slides it into the back of his jeans, so unaffected by my obvious infatuation with him.
Irritation crawls under my skin at his dismissiveness.
We both know it’s more than that or he wouldn’t have stayed in here.
“So, you’re just going to watch me fuck other dudes?” I snap, wanting him to be just as aggravated about all of this as I am.
How can he just act so cool about it, when I feel like everything has changed for me since we finally gave into our desire for each other.
I can’t be around him without wanting his hands on my body, it’s impossible.
Not only that, but I’m craving his lips like crazy.
Even now, I’m looking at them wishing he would just kiss me again.
His eyes lock with mine, a low growl coming from him that makes me flinch.
Maybe he’s not so cool about it.
“If that’s what it takes to make sure you’re safe while you’re getting what you need,” he bites back.
My eyes widen, and I stare back at him, utterly speechless.
I’m not sure if it’s creepy as fuck or kind of endearing that he’s so committed to protecting me that he is willing to watch me with another man.
The truth is, I know he was fucking turned on.
He got himself off watching us.
How is that any different from actually being involved?
He wasn’t thinking about protecting me when his hand was wrapped around his cock.
I bite into my lip, considering if I should keep pushing or not.
The shower shuts off, and I know I’m running out of time.
“What if I want you to join us next time? What if I want two cocks at once, are you telling me you will deny me that pleasure?” I blink back at him, waiting for his response.
He cracks his neck, and I know I’m pushing him.
“We both know one night was all it could be. I’m not the guy for you, trouble, so stop looking at me like I am. I won’t lose this job or put you in harm’s way to get my dick wet.” His eyes plead with me to understand, but I don’t.
It all feels like convenient excuses for him to keep his distance from me.
I know how he operates.
He never gets too close to anyone.
It’s why I have never seen him with a girlfriend before.
Hell, it’s why he spends his entire life following me around, I’m sure of it.
I stand and move toward him, the sheets draped around my body just concealing my tits.
His eyes drop down, hungrily taking in every sheet-clad inch of me.
“It’s too late, Onyx, we started something I’m not willing to let go of so easily. I’m a grown woman, and my brothers—” I huff out a laugh, realizing they’re not even my brothers at all.
Pain radiates through my chest at everything I lost finding out the truth yesterday.
I try to hold my composure, not wanting Onyx to see my pain.
“My so-called brothers have no say in my relationships anymore. They can’t control you either, and if they try, I will make sure they regret it.”
His hand laces into my hair, and he tugs me closer into him so our faces are barely an inch apart.
“We both know it doesn’t matter how badly we want this. I’m wrong for you in every damn way possible. I’m not worried about who your brothers are, trouble. You don’t really know me, and you wouldn’t want to know the real me. It’s best for everyone if we keep our hands to ourselves and you let me do my job. Now more than ever you need me to protect you. If you can’t keep detective lover boy in check, they will come for you. The people who killed your family.”
My heart races in my chest because I know what he is saying is right.
He thinks there is some threat out there that will come after me if they work out who I really am.
I’m not as convinced.
What happened to my real family took place so long ago that my identity wouldn’t even be relevant now.
And if they were after my dad, they killed him already, so what good would I be to them?
“You’re just scared that if you let me get close to you, you might actually have to admit there is something more here between us. This isn’t about getting your dick wet, this is more…” I can’t finish what I want to say, it’s too much to admit if he doesn’t feel the same.
I’m sick of chasing after him.
It doesn’t matter how badly I want him, his loyalty to Jagger and the boys is way too strong.
With a heavy sigh, I shake my head, knowing I’m never going to get anywhere.
“If that’s what you want, one night is all it was then.” I take a step back from him, my heart racing like crazy because this fucking hu rts so much.
The bathroom door opens with a click, and Romeo stands in the doorway, scrubbing the towel through his wet hair.
His shirt is off, and he’s just in last night’s suit pants, his gorgeous chest on full display, beads of water dripping over toned muscle and ink.
Steam follows him out.
It’s like some underwear commercial or something.
The sight of him makes me want to lick my lips.
He smirks at me like he can read my mind.
Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me?
I pull the sheet a little closer around my body, my nipples hardening.
“I’m going to take a shower, and when I get out, I expect the two of you to be gone,” I spit out as I pass him.
Onyx has just pissed me off again, and Romeo, even though he is one sexy motherfucker who screws like a demon, I will never forgive him for lying to me when we first met.
I slam the door for emphasis and flick on the shower to scorching, then dropping my sheet, I step under the spray, letting the water cascade over my body and hair.
I don’t know how to step back into my club the same woman I was yesterday.
There is part of me that now feels broken or missing.
It’s the strangest feeling, and last night, I may have dealt with it by drinking too much and taking way too many pills, but in the light of day, I know I need to wrap my head around my new reality.
I’m not Sloane Stryker at all.
I have no clue who I am.
When I’m done washing off my poor choices from last night, I shut off the water and take the spare plush towel, wrapping it around me.
I catch sight of my reflection in the mirror.
I still look like the same person I was before I found out the truth, but there is an emptiness inside of me that’s all-consuming.
I have so many questions.
Why did my brothers keep this secret from me?
Who is my real family and why would someone murder them?
Why is the new police commissioner searching for me?
I know who will answer some of those questions, but the thing is, do I want to see him again after the stunt he pulled last night?
Can I even trust him or is the handsome detective trying to manipulate me for his own gain, just like every other man in my life?
I take my time drying my hair then step back into the bedroom.
Both men are gone just like I asked them to be.
I breathe a sigh of relief.
Finding my skirt, top, and bra from last night, I slip them back on.
My underwear, however, I’m pretty sure is in Romeo’s pocket.
So, for now, I’m bare, and there is nothing I can do about it.
That worries me less than the lack of make-up on my face.
I take a deep breath, trying to prepare myself to face whatever awaits me on the other side of the door, then turn the handle.
As I expected, Onyx is waiting across the hall, one leg propped up on the wall, knee bent.
His eyes don’t even find mine, his steely expression back firmly in place.
With a huff, I ignore him and stride down the hall, swiping myself back into the VIP section.
Doing the walk of shame once was bad enough, but twice is utterly disgraceful.
I don’t make eye contact with the girls already in the room doing dance classes.
I just stride through like this is normal.
I’m in charge, and there is nothing out of the ordinary to see.
When I push open the door to the main bar, I’m met with folded arms and the dark expression of Jagger.
He and Romeo stand close in deep discussion.
Jagger’s eyes follow me across the room, but I’m not ready to deal with him today.
I’m not ready to deal with anyone.
I want to lock myself away from the world and pretend yesterday didn’t happen.
Pretend I don’t know the truth.
“Sloane,” Jagger’s voice booms across the room, an angry edge to it that would scare most other people in this town.
I keep walking. Fuck him if he thinks he can lie to me my entire life and I’ll come running when he calls my name.
Not going to happen, asshole.
I push open the door to the back hallway and head for my office.
The only place I can escape them.
Locking the door once I’m inside, I locate a black striped pencil skirt and a white high-neck top to change into.
Then I fix my face back in place, delicately painting on my make-up.
Lastly, I slide open the drawer where I keep my pills, looking for the smallest taste of sanity, anything to calm the anxiety churning up my insides.
But my heart kicks up a beat when I find the drawer is empty.
What the fuck? I pull the drawer out and turn it upside down like that will make them magically appear.
Then I pull open all three other drawers in the vanity.
Fuck, they’re not anywhere.
My chest tightens. I can’t do today unmedicated.
“You looking for these, little sis?” Jagger snarls from the doorway.
I flick my angry glare toward him.
“How the fuck did you get in here?” I snap back, not wanting to play his dumb fucking games today.
He steps inside the bathroom.
“What the fuck are you thinking, popping these things like a fucking junkie?” He holds up the half-empty bottle, shaking it for emphasis.
“They’re prescription.” Anger boils inside me as my hands involuntarily curl into fists.
If he wants a fight, he’s about to get one.
“But you’re not taking the dose you should be, are you?” the smug asshole says, stalking around me, making his overbearing presence known.
I huff out a laugh. “And which asshole went and ratted me out? The bodyguard or the motherfucker trying to take over my life?”
His dark eyes flicker with barely contained rage.
“That’s not important.” His hand comes to my arm, and he looks at me with way too much disappointment.
“Yes, it is. I need to know who around me I can trust, and right now, it’s looking like not one of you fuckers is really in my corner.” My breath catches in my throat, that last realization hitting me like a sucker punch to the gut .
His face softens a little.
“Sis, that’s where you’re wrong. You have all of us only wanting what’s best for you. Both Onyx and Romeo are concerned about you, rightfully so. And after what happened with detective lover boy last night, I think I have cause to be monitoring this situation more closely as well.”
I pull out of his grip on me.
“Fuck off, Jagger, I don’t need your concern. I have this situation under control.”
His lips tighten into a thin line, a furrow in his brow adding to the scowl that makes his gaze feel like a cold weight on me.
“I don’t believe that for a second, but even if I did, I’m your brother. It’s my job to take care of you, Sloane.”
I stare back at him, so close to tears it’s not funny.
I bite the inside of my lip to stop the waterworks from breaking free.
I don’t fucking cry, not over anything.
But knowing Jagger isn’t really my big brother cuts so deep, it threatens to open old wounds I buried so long ago when I lost my mother.
He’s been my constant for so long, and even though he’s the president of the Iron Strykers, he’s always taken really good care of me, even when he was pretty much still a kid himself.
“Sloane, what is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Onyx said we have to keep it to ourselves, to keep me safe, but I can’t.
I won’t look at him, knowing the truth, and pretend.
“You’re not my brother.” My bottom lip trembles as the words spill out, a fresh wave of pain radiating through me like little tiny knives stabbing at my soul.
His eyes burn with something dark and unhinged.
“What the fuck are you going on about?”
I knew he wouldn’t come clean with me.
I shove past him and into my office, heading right for where I put the papers I was given last night.
He storms into the room right behind me, his heavy boots stomping as he follows me .
I collect the papers Reef gave me and shove them in his face.
“Don’t fucking lie to me,” I yell, not able to keep the pain inside anymore.
I see the moment he realizes what he’s holding.
He drops it, his tanned face paling.
“Wh… who gave this to you?” he stutters out.
My big bad brother is shaken by something after all.
The truth fucking hurts.
“That’s not important.”
“You could be in real danger, Sloane. Tell me who gave this to you.”
“That’s not even my name,” I say sadly.
“Who the fuck is Ava Kingsley? Please, Jagger, you have to tell me what you know.”