Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Luka
Fucking hell. In a matter of seconds, the air turns dense, thick, and electric, like this moment is being branded into my memory whether I want it to or not.
It’s like my soul already knows this is a turning point. That whatever happens next has the power to rewrite everything.
Good or bad, it doesn’t matter. Both feel equally inevitable.
And they’re both going to hurt like hell.
I ball my hands into fists by my side, trying to stop their trembling as I force my feet to stay glued in place.
My heart races in my chest, making my breath come out in shallow pants as I stand frozen in anticipation.
Miss Scarlett stands on my left and Jett on my right, and for a minute, I wish the rest of my family could be here, because I know this will be the only time I do this. My one and only wedding day, and perhaps the most important day of my life.
I can’t imagine how Scout must be feeling.
For a moment, I feel a prickle of guilt rising in my chest at the thought of robbing her of her dream wedding.
But then I think back to my first night in prison, how the only hope I had to cling to was that I saved Scout from the same fate.
How the sacrifice I made for her would be worth it, because she had the freedom to finally live out her dreams—it’s not like I felt she owed me.
My decision wasn’t made with a transaction in mind.
But I did hope she’d do something with her life…
not just throw it all away just to go along with whatever her parents wanted for her.
Three years of my life, wasted, and what do I have to show for it?
And that’s all it takes for the guilt to subside. I feel my nerves begin to settle as I finally take a deep breath.
I hear music playing, the song, Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, and it takes a moment for me to realize it’s coming from Jett’s phone.
Damn, I think he may have missed his calling as a wedding planner. I smile to myself from yet another considerate gesture.
But when Scout steps out from behind a tree looking like an angel sent to destroy me, it’s all I can do to keep myself from falling to my knees.
Her brown hair hangs down her shoulders in loose waves, her soft yellow sundress fluttering around her knees, so graceful that I can’t tell if she’s walking or floating toward me.
She’s so damn beautiful. There’s nothing new about that, but I feel like I can finally let my guard down and really see her for the first time.
There’s an almost imperceivable smile pulling at her rosy lips as those big princess-looking eyes never leave mine.
Time seems to stand still, and any thought of revenge I was feeling is long gone as I feel my soul fully surrender to the moment.
And it’s there, underneath that old treehouse, as the sun slowly disappears behind the horizon, streaking the sky in hues of orange and pink, that I feel my whole world shift on itself.
Miss Scarlett’s voice pulls me back to the moment when Scout finally reaches me. “Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony.
“Marriage is a sacred bond, not to be entered into lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and with full understanding of its responsibilities...”
My thumbs move of their own accord, gently caressing her hands as I hold her gaze. There’s so much history between us, so many words left unsaid, and yet, my brain can’t come up with a single thought outside of this moment.
“Today, Luka and Scout stand before us to declare their love and commitment, and to pledge their lives to one another…” Miss Scarlett continues, and I feel the irony of her words like shackles around my limbs.
“Do you have the rings?” she asks, and Jett pulls the velvet ring box from his pocket and passes it to me.
I open the box, removing the rings before passing it back to Jett, not missing the look of surprise that flashes across Scout’s face when she sees the large solitaire diamond ring.
The stone is large enough, considering the tight timeline, and it’s set on a simple, classic gold band with another band wrapped in pavé diamonds.
“Repeat after me. I, Luka, take you, Scout, to be my lawfully wedded wife…”
I hold the ring in front of her finger, my eyes locked on hers as I vow to love her, protect her, and cherish her—in good times and bad, in sickness and in health.
The words come easily but they settle deep. A promise that ties us together, whether we realize it or not.
Because even a dirty contract is still legally binding.
Scout’s eyes glisten with tears as she repeats the same vows. She’s good at this.
I’d almost think they were real…if I didn’t know better.
“With the power vested in me by the state of West Virginia and the Universal Church of Life,” Miss Scarlett grins, holding out her hands. “I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.”
Miss Scarlett’s voice cracks through the air like a whip, snapping us both back to reality. And it’s only then that I realize we never discussed our first kiss.
Before I can second-guess it, instinct takes over.
I reach for her, hand curling around the back of her neck as I draw her in. My lips graze the corner of her mouth in a painfully torturous, almost-kiss that sets my whole body on fire.
Everything in me screams to keep going, to slide my tongue along her plush bottom lip, to see if she still tastes the way I remember. Just once. Because if it’s ever going to not count, it’s right now.
But I can’t do it. Not like this.
When I finally pull back, I’m relieved to see that she looks just as wrecked as I feel. Pupils blown, chest rising with a sharp inhale like she forgot how to breathe.
A high-pitched ringing fills my ears as I wait for my pulse to slow. We both just stare at each other, neither fully grasping the line that’s just been drawn in the sand.
I may not know what this means.
But there’s one thing for sure…
For better or for worse, my life will never be the same.
The crystal rock glass dangles from my fingers as I nurse my Jack and Coke, contemplating everything that happened tonight. After the wedding, we plastered on our most convincing fake smiles and thanked Miss Scarlett for performing the ceremony. Then we rode home without speaking a single word.
As tempting as it was to go our separate ways tonight, to decompress privately, I could tell Scout was starting to spiral. Her guilty conscience was already eating at her, and the last thing I want is for all of this to be for nothing because she can’t handle the pressure.
So, against my better judgment, I proposed we celebrate our nuptials over a couple of stiff drinks while we figure out our next steps…
But I may have overestimated her ability to hold her liquor because she’s three drinks in, and it’s clear that there will be no planning for our future happening tonight.
Scout looks almost unrecognizable sitting with her legs curled in her seat.
She either hasn’t noticed or doesn’t mind that her dress has ridden up.
My eyes keep catching on the soft flesh of her upper thigh, which does nothing to calm the multitude of indecent thoughts flooding through my mind right now.
Maybe it’s the alcohol or those stupid wedding vows, but I can’t help but feel like something activated the caveman part of my brain tonight. It’s like a switch has been flipped, and I can’t shut it off, no matter how hard I try.
I keep finding myself sneaking glances, my mind wandering to places it has no business entertaining… And yet, here I sit, against my better judgment, pouring myself another glass.
Scout still hasn’t spoken much, apart from asking for a refill as soon as her glass was empty. And each time, I happily oblige.
This would be the moment that a better person would cut her off, before she gets too sloppy and says or does something she’ll regret.
Too bad for Scout, I’m not the good guy I used to be.
Besides, if I’m not getting laid on my wedding night, then I may as well enjoy watching Scout come completely unraveled. A man’s got to entertain himself somehow.
I watch as she tosses her drink back and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Then she finally breaks the silence. “You know, this wasn’t how my wedding night was supposed to go.”
Here we go. Looks like the show is about the begin.
I cross a foot over my knee and settle deeper in my seat. “Oh, really? I’m sorry to disappoint you.” I gesture for her to continue. “Exactly what were you expecting?”
She either misses the mockery in my tone or chooses to ignore it completely. Judging by the way her head’s hanging over the side of the chair…I think it’s safe to say her inhibitions are no longer with us.
”Well, obviously, I thought I would be having sex on my wedding night,” she blurts out with a sigh as she spins in the chair so that her legs are propped against the back and her head dangles off the front.
I cover my mouth to hide my smile, not wanting her to get embarrassed and realize how she looks right now. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right about that. You could be getting ravished by ol’ Jimbo right now, having the best five minutes of missionary sex of your life?—"
She blows a raspberry with her lips before falling into a fit of laughter. She’s laughing so hard, I’m afraid she’s going to crack her head on the coffee table, so I hold my hand as a shield until she calms down.
She wipes a tear from her eye as her giggles fizzle out. “You’re funny.”
I chew on the inside of my cheek, feeling torn between wanting to ask her exactly what part she found so amusing. I realize I’m treading in dangerous territory here.
“I’m glad you find me amusing.” I swirl my drink, settling back into my seat. “So…your wedding night…was that something you thought about a lot?”
The flush of her cheeks should be answer enough, but I sit there in silence as I wait for her to answer.