Chapter 4
four
Kamirah
Istood up from the daybed, needing to move, and walked over to the glass fence surrounding our private plunge pool. The blue lights in the water and yellow flames from the tiki torches reflected eerily off my skin.
Our conversation was heavy, but we needed to have it.
It was the first time we were talking about a lot of this stuff.
In order to reconnect, we needed to sort through the way it affected us individually and as a couple.
There was a gulf between us at the moment, and I wanted to repair it. I needed to.
Chris had told me countless times that as long as he had me, he had everything. I was all he needed. Six months ago, I wouldn’t have hesitated in telling him the same. But now…
Now with the benefit of hindsight, my head was telling me I should reconsider. My heart didn’t falter. But was love enough? He’d hurt me beyond anything I’d ever imagined him to be capable of. I couldn’t handle it happening again.
Warm hands slid along my bare waist. I was still wearing the bikini I’d put on that morning. We’d been swimming all day, sometimes heading into the water to snorkel and at other times just to cool down.
Chris towered over me, all bulky muscle and warm skin. When he pressed his hard body against mine, I could feel the bulge of his cock. Even soft, he was impressive. My pussy clenched, knowing how good he could fill me.
But I wasn’t going to get sidetracked.
“How do we fix things?” I asked.
“Someone could take over my life,” Chris grumbled, and I grinned, then shook my head. He wasn’t giving himself enough credit.
“When did I become a responsible adult? I need a responsibler, adultier adult. I seriously fuck it up every time. I’m a terrible adult.”
I couldn’t bite back my laugh even if I tried. My giggle came out as more of a snort, and I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying without success to muffle the sound from Chris’s ears.
He growled playfully, and it set me off again. I loved this Chris. He was mischievous and good-natured. He was affectionate too. He tightened his arms around my waist, holding me close, and kissed my hair. It was so simple and innocent, but it left me in no doubt about how he felt.
“Don’t laugh, Kamirah,” he scolded with a huff of pained laughter. “Seriously, I need someone better at this to make my decisions. Look at the shitstorm I caused when we did things my way.”
He may be being playful, but he was hurting. The grin slipped from my lips, and I turned in his arms. I ran my hands up his chest, the coloring of our skin so different even in the dim light. Where I was pale and covered in freckles, almost every inch of his upper body was tattooed.
I linked my hands behind his neck and pulled him to me, holding him as tight as he did me. I wanted to comfort him, to take away the uncertainty and the pain.
He cupped my face and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I melted, letting my eyes slip closed as I leaned into him.
Then he was gone, stepping away from me to pace. He’d been like that a lot—a caged tiger itching to break away and run.
“If I was on the ice, I’d be able to move fast enough to outrun it.”
His words shattered my heart. I’d just thought of him wanting to escape from all this, just like that, but to hear him say it, for him to admit it, destroyed me.
“But I can’t even do that.” He threw his hands up in the air in frustration and added, “The team’s mojo got all screwy because of that fucking story….”
He went quiet but never stopped moving. “It’s as if I can’t escape it. Like I’m in quicksand, and it’s sucking me down. I keep looking over my shoulder, waiting to see the monster chasing me.”
He groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face before looking up at the night sky. I couldn’t see his eyes, but I’d bet my last dollar that he was on the verge of tears. It would be easy to get angry and hate him, but knowing what he’d been through gave me pause.
He dropped his head down, and his shoulders slumped as he exhaled, all the fight seeming to drain from him. “I kind of wish there was someone chasing me. Hiding hasn't worked. Burying my head in the sand just hurt you.” He groaned again, the sound pained. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t bi.”
Fuck. Me.
He hated himself.
It was as if he’d said he hated hockey. It had taken both of us a long time to admit we were bi and polyamorous.
I’d been in denial. He’d been terrified of losing me.
But I could never walk away from him. I’d fallen in love with him as a teenager; he was my everything.
We’d worked through it together, both of us finally getting to a point where we were comfortable admitting our sexuality to a few select partners.
To hear him say he wished he wasn’t bi was a stake through my heart.
I didn’t have the words, but I needed to say something.
“You need to let the past go, hon. We both do,” I finally replied.
I kept my voice soothing, scared that he’d bolt.
I rubbed his back gently, and he turned into me, collapsing into my arms. I held him tight, never wanting to let him go.
“No matter what happens, we’ll get through this together.
I love you. Whether we add another person to our relationship or not, we’ll get back to what we were. ”
“Thank you,” he whispered. He held on for long moments until he straightened his back, finally regaining his strength, and asked, “Know any adultier adults who can distract me with a game of naked tag?”
I couldn’t help my giggle. Naked tag could be fun—especially if there was a reward for being caught.
“Someone to chase us, or do you want to catch them?” I asked rhetorically.
The sound of a twig snapping was as loud as a gunshot in the otherwise still night.
I pictured someone waiting there, watching us, and I realized I wanted to be chased.
Their gender didn’t matter to me. I just hoped Chris wouldn’t close himself off to any possibilities given his comments only a moment ago.
“As long as they can help us out of this funk I’ve created, I don’t care.”
I nodded and squeezed his waist. “You’ll never hear me complain about another person in bed with us. Especially when you do that thing with your tongue.” I shivered, desire coursing through me. He really did have a talented tongue.
Chris reached down and grasped my ass, spreading my cheeks and sliding his finger along my crack. My heart rate spiked, and my pussy clenched. I wanted to feel his hot flesh inside me, hard and throbbing.
“Can you imagine me finding us a hottie with a big dick or a tight hole we can both fuck?” I asked breathlessly. “We could work off some of the tension.”
Chris huffed out a laugh, then groaned before sliding his fingers inside my needy pussy.
“What about if I didn’t want to pick up right now? Think you can find some stranger to “eenie meenie miney moe” it for us? I want them to walk right up the beach and bend you over. Then I’ll do the same to them. Faceless, nameless, no-strings-attached fucking.”
I whimpered. The thought of it was so incredibly hot. There was no way we could risk sleeping with anyone we didn’t implicitly trust. We couldn’t risk anything getting out about our extra-marital adventures. It would end Chris’s career.
But we could fantasize.
My voice was husky when I said, “Like Vigilante riding in on that sexy Harley. But instead of killing everyone, he orders us to fuck him.”
Chris moaned, the sound so sexy and as smooth as honey. “How did you know I was fantasizing about Locke Ledger?”
“He's exactly both our types.”
His stare sparked a wildfire inside me. His fingers were lazily tunnelling inside me, but I needed more. I needed him on the edge of sanity, holding on by a thread. Then I needed him to make me scream.
I reached around to my back and unclasped my bikini top before pulling it over my head and letting it flutter to the floor.
It was risqué. At home we were so careful not to give the neighbors anything to talk about.
But this—this was the ultimate in privacy.
I wanted to be naked out here, to suck on his dick, then sit on it right here under the stars.
Chris eased his fingers free from my pussy and cupped my breasts. He smeared my essence over my nipple, then flicked them both with his thumbs, making them harden into buds. He bent and licked my nipple, sending fireworks cascading through my body, my pussy clenching hard, wanting to be filled.
Another twig snapping had me throwing my head back and moaning. The thought of being watched was such a turn-on. I loved it in private—having our third fuck me while Chris watched or playing the voyeur myself while they came together.
“Maybe he’s out there right now, watching us. Waiting for us to get the rest of the way naked.”
Chris hummed, the sound a deep growl at the back of his throat that vibrated through me as he licked and sucked on my nipples. He tugged on the laces of his board shorts and shoved them down while I did the same to my bikini bottoms.
I could just imagine someone out there spying on us, taking their cock out or slipping their fingers into their pussy and making themselves come as they watched us fuck.
God, the picture Chris had painted of a masked stranger chasing me, pinning me down, and taking me however he wanted was hot as hell.
The fantasy of all fantasies.
The thought of watching as Chris bent him over and fucked him afterward was even more panty melting.
I wanted a front-row seat.
Lowering myself to my knees, I waited for Chris to grasp his thick cock and feed it to me. I wanted him to fuck my mouth, cover me in his cum, and then make me scream.
“Open, baby,” he demanded.