Chapter 2
Chapter Two
L ila
“You’ll never have my heart, Rodrigo Alejandro Suarez.” I clasp my hand to my chest and look to the right dramatically, my lips trembling in tortured emotion as my shoulder-length blonde hair bounces against my back. “I will never forgive you for sleeping with my sister.” My voice catches and I blink rapidly, desperately trying to get tears to fall.
Zero tears fall. My eyes are drier than the Sahara Desert.
I pinch myself with my newly manicured pink nails and start again. “You’ll never have my heart, Rodrigo Alejandro Suarez. I will never forgive you for sleeping with my sister. Just because I am a paralegal doesn’t?—.”
“Your man slept with your sister?” The older lady sitting next to me on the train looks up from her phone. She speaks with a slight Southern twang, and I try to ignore how disgusted I feel as she chews her gum loudly and droplets of spit go flying everywhere. There’s a look of pity in her blue eyes and I quickly shake my head.
“No, not at all.” I smile to show her I’m not genuinely sad. “I don’t even have a sister.” I hold up the stack of half-crumpled pages in my hand. “I’m trying to memorize lines for my audition. It’s for a TV show.” I try to keep the excitement out of my voice. “It’s a small role, but if it goes well, it could lead to more bookings at Telemundo.” I sit back, trying to make myself comfortable on the cold plastic as it presses into my thighs. I knew I should have worn a longer skirt. There’s also a distinct and unpleasant body odor in the carriage that I’m trying to ignore.
Riding the subway is not for the faint of heart. I stare down at my short navy shirt and bare skin and squeeze my thighs together. There’s a man standing to the left of me, holding onto the pole, and he appears to be licking his lips as he stares at me.
“Oh...” The older woman scratches her nose and I look away as she digs into her nostril. “I was going to tell you to light his shit on fire. Burn it all to the ground.” She’s getting agitated now. “Don’t let him get away with it!”
“It’s not real.” I say quickly as I glance back at her. Maybe it had been a mistake to rehearse on the train. “I think you misunderstood me. I’m an actress.” I pause to wait for her to ask if I’ve been in anything she’d know or possibly mistake me for someone famous, but she just stares at me, no excitement or recognition in her eyes. “I’m just reciting my lines. See they’re here on the page.” I push the page toward her. “I’m not burning anything down. I don’t even know a Rodrigo Alejandro Suarez.”
“Aha...” She nods and offers me a huge wink. “And I don’t know a Danny Johnson that lives in Florence, South Carolina. And officer, I sure don’t know how his car got all them scratches on it after he fucked around on me at the strip bar.”
“Uh, okay.” I push my papers back into my handbag and look around the train. The blue-haired skateboard hippie on the other side of us appears to be listening to music on his phone, but I can see his lips twitch as he keeps glancing at us. He’s eavesdropping.
Unless he's glancing at my handbag. It’s a real Chanel bag that my best friend, Zara, got for me when I moved into my own place a couple weeks ago. I stand up and head to the doors so I can get off at the next exit. I’m not taking any chances that I’m about to be robbed. Or molested.
The man who was holding the pole is now closer to me and trying to look down my shirt. It’s professional in that it’s a shirt, but the top two buttons are undone and I know boobage is showing. But the outfit is for the role: Maria Conchita Violeta Estella Diaz. Maria is a professional, but she likes to appear sexy. I am neither a professional, nor naturally sexy. I wish I had the sassiness that permeates the character on the page. Though, I don’t really like pervy men looking at me like I’m a piece of meat.
I really need to stop taking the 1 train, but it’s not like I can afford cabs and my hopefully-soon-to-be skinny ass has no interest in walking the four miles from 121st Street and Amsterdam to 9th Ave and 31st Street, where the audition is being held, in the hot sun. It’s an hour-and-a-half walk. In heels. Not going to happen. The next stop is Lincoln Center. I hesitate as the doors open. I’m supposed to get off at the Cathedral exit. I don’t really want to walk any farther than I have to, but as I look around the train, I see both the sketchy perverted man adjusting himself as he stares at me and the skater kid who is definitely eyeing my bag and hurry off and onto the platform.
I’ll just have to walk. And try not to die of exhaustion.
My phone rings as I head up the stairs and I smile when I see it’s Zara. I answer immediately. She’ll know how to calm my nerves.
“Hey girl,” I answer and take a deep breath as I get to the top of the stairs. “What’s up?”
“Why do you sound so out of breath? Did you go running?”
“Did I get a lobotomy? No, of course I didn’t go running.” I join the throngs of people leaving the subway and make my way to the street. “Though, maybe I should start running so I can get into better shape.” I take another deep breath. “I had to get off the train early and now I have to walk a billion blocks in those black heels I got on sale from Neiman Marcus and my feet are already killing me.”
“Where are you off to?”
“My audition, remember?”
“Oh yeah, where you have to sing Ale-Ale-jandro to your cheating ex?” Zara’s tone is light, but I know she wasn’t impressed by the script.
“Zara, look, I’m telling you that even though the show isn’t Shakespeare, it could lead me to getting a TV deal with Telemundo.”
“But you don’t speak any Spanish, Lila,” she reminds me. “Why on Earth would they want you?” She stops abruptly. “Wait, that came out meaner than I intended. I just meant that...” Her voice trails off and I let her stew in her contrition for a few seconds before I burst out laughing.
“It’s fine. I don’t actually think I’ll get the job. There’s a job fair in the building next to the audition, so I’m going to hit that up as well. Find me a way to pay the rent on my gorgeous new place in Morningside Heights.” I beam as I think of my 300 square-foot studio apartment. I only have an inflatable mattress so far, but I don’t mind.
“Lila, you know that Jackson is more than willing to hire you at his company…” she starts, but doesn’t continue. She knows that I don’t want any handouts from her new billionaire fiancé, Jackson Pruitt. He’s hot and I love him for her, but I want to make my way on my own. Or at least try for more than three weeks before I give up and go running home with my tail between my legs.
“No thank you.” I keep my tone pleasant because, even though I’m not willing, I’m still grateful for the offer. “I appreciate it, but?—”
“But you don’t like to take handouts and you want to make it on your own.” Zara sounds like she’s reciting lines from the Lila Haversham handbook. “I get it, so I won’t offer again, but if you need anything, you better come to me.”
“I will. I promise.” I continue my way down the street and avert my eyes from the pastries enticing me from the French bakery I’m passing. What I wouldn’t give for a pain au raisin and a double shot of espresso right now. However, I have neither the money to waste nor the time to give, as now that I’m walking to the audition, I will arrive about three minutes before schedule.
“You’ll never ever ever have my heart again, Rodrigo Alejandro Swore...ah shit, what was it again?” A young woman with long fiery red hair and green eyes curses under her breath as she passes me. I watch as she grabs a page from her handbag and reads what appears to be the same script that I’ve been memorizing all morning.
“Hey, Zara, can I call you back later?” I whisper into the phone. “I need to concentrate on getting there.”
“Sure thing. Break a leg, Lila.”
“Thanks.” I hang up and hurry to catch up to the redhead, who has now passed me, which is an admirable feat because she’s in heels even higher than mine.
“Hi,” I say as I step into sync with her. “Are you also auditioning for the part of Maria?” I ask with a warm smile, hoping she is friendly and not combative like some of the other actors I’ve auditioned against.
“Yes, I am.” She looks at me and I notice that her green eyes are in their own way just as fiery as her red hair. She’s striking and reminds me of some sort of Scotch-Irish warrior woman. She would have fit right in with the cast of Braveheart . “I doubt I’ll get it,” she says, giggling, and I’m immediately warmed by the sound. “I know I don’t look like the stereotypical Maria Conchita, and I can’t even remember the lines, but it’s all practice right?”
“I’m in the same boat,” I say as I play with my blonde hair. “But an audition is an audition.”
“That’s what I was thinking. Plus, I’d love to be flown to Miami and put up in a hotel.” She grins. “I need a vacation.”
“What?” I blink at her in confusion. “Are they flying the cast out on a vacation?”
“No, but Telemundo’s studio is in Miami,” she explains patiently. “Whoever gets the job will have to relocate there for filming.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize that.” I wrinkle my nose as I think about leaving New York and my brand-new apartment. “I don’t know that I can relocate right now.”
“You don’t want a free trip?”
“I’d love a free trip.” I laugh and hold out my hand awkwardly. “I’m Lila by the way, broke-ass actress by day and even broker actress by night.”
“Nice to meet you, Lila. I’m Skye Redding, and if I’m honest, I’m not really an actress. I just thought that a couple of weeks in Miami sounded fun, so when I saw the audition call notice in the paper, I decided to give it a shot.” She grins. “I really need to find a real job though. I have bills to pay and trips to fund.”
“Ooh, where are you going?” I ask because I’m hopeful that Skye and I will become friends. Now that Zara is all loved up and spends most of her time with Jackson, I need to find some new friends or I’m going to wind up bored out of my mind.
“I’d love to backpack around the world.” Her eyes light up. “Australia, New Zealand, England, France, Kenya, Peru.” She sounds wistful. “It’s been a dream of mine since I was a little kid. I just need to make a billion dollars first.”
“I feel that.” I nod as I take a deep breath and try to ignore the knot in my stomach, the one that always shows up when my mind turns to personal finances. “I just moved into my own place and need to start bringing in a paycheck ASAP.”
“You just break up with a boyfriend?” Skye asks me, and I shake my head.
“I was living with my best friend and her sister, but they’ve moved on,” I say. “I had a bit part in a play, but it got canceled.”
“That sucks.” She shoots me an apologetic smile. “Hopefully you get the role today.”
“Aw, you’re too sweet, but I doubt I will. There’s a small hiring event at a law firm next door that I’m going to swing by, too. Always good to have a backup plan, right?” I play with my hair for a few moments. “I think the building houses several law firms as well, so maybe more than one is hiring.”
“Ooh, maybe I’ll go with you.” Skye grins. “I need to make more money. The weekend work isn’t paying as great as I hoped.”
“What do you do on the weekend?” I ask. It’s probably a nosy question, but Skye seems open, so what the heck.
“I work bachelor parties and other events.” She looks me up and down. “I can get you in, if you want.”
“Oh, no thanks.” I say quickly. “I’m not?—”
“We’re not strippers or anything.” She giggles. “We don’t get naked. We just dance around and blindfold the groom or birthday boy. One of the girls also jumps out of a cake. The men love it. Some of them try to touch, but they know we’re not for sale. I mean, some of the girls will give lap dances. But you don’t have to and no one does anything more than that.” She pauses and leans forward. “Well, aside from Louisa. I heard she gives blowjobs for five bucks.”
My jaw drops as she giggles. “She’s a hoe though. Buy her a drink and she’ll be giving you a blowjob before the bartender’s filled the glass. That’s what they say at least.” Skye shrugs as if to say, you didn’t hear it from me.
“Oh, wow,” I say, surprised at the turn in the conversation.
“She doesn’t work with us anymore,” Skye continues. “If you’re interested, you can come to the bachelor party I’m working this weekend. We always need more girls.”
“I don’t think so.” I shake my head. “I don’t have the confidence for that kind of work.”
“Can you dance?”
“I’m an okay dancer.” I nod. “I took some classes for stage work. Ballet and tap though, not pole dancing.” I make a face, then quickly backtrack. “Not that I’m judging you or anything,” I say quickly. “I wish I had those skills.”
“Oh, honey, I can’t climb a pole to save my life.” She grins. “The job isn’t seedy like that. I think you might even enjoy the attention. Why don’t you see how the audition goes and then let me know.”
“Sounds good.” I nod and sigh gratefully when I see we are only two blocks away from our destination. My heart starts racing as we get closer. I always get nervous about auditions. I know the odds of being cast are awful, but there’s always a small hope in my heart that the next audition will be my breakout role. I’ve been acting since elementary school and have known since age ten that this is what I want to do with my life.
And it has nothing to do with becoming rich and famous. I just truly enjoy embodying the personality and emotions of fictional characters. I love interacting with my fellow actors and creating stories that audiences love. And while I’m still a long way from my first Oscar, I’ve already memorized my acceptance speech.
“We’re here.” Skye stops suddenly and makes a face, an expression halfway between disbelief and shock. I look to see what’s gotten to her and my jaw drops as I see the line of women outside the tall gray building. There has to be at least a hundred different girls there, all lambasting Rodrigo Alejandro Suarez. Shit! I look at Skye, who is twirling a long curly red lock of hair around her finger and looking as nervous as I feel.
“I don’t know about you,” she says, frowning. “But I don’t really want to wait hours to audition and not even get the part.”
“Me either.” My heart thuds as I survey the long line again. I’m no statistician, but I know my odds of beating out hundreds of other actresses are slim to none. Plus, the role called for waterworks and I couldn’t cry on cue if my life depended on it. “Job fair?” I ask Skye and glance over at the tall skyscraper next door. The fa?ade is made up of mirrors, and I have to admit, the way it reflects the buildings across the street looks cool, like it’s calling to us. There’s a large brass sign that reads Chase, Parker & Spector right at the top. “That’s them.” I say, pointing to the sign.
“Count me in,” Skye says with a shrug.
“Hopefully they’re the type of law firm that hires people that don’t know the law,” I offer.
“In the mail room, perhaps.” Skye gives me a look. “They don’t pay much in the mail room, but I heard attorneys make bank.”
“I don’t think I can get a job as an attorney,” I giggle. “I didn’t go to law school and I’m not Mike Ross. I don’t have a photographic memory. I can’t recite every case known to man.”
“I loved Suits ,” Skye says excitedly. “But yeah, it would be hard to fake being an attorney long enough to start collecting the paychecks.”
“I heard they are looking for paralegals and legal secretaries.” I shrug. “I can type.”
“But can you do legal research?”
“I can research. That’s what Google is for.” I wink at her. “Who’s going to know if I go onto Reddit for some advice?”
“Hmm.” Skye looks at her watch. “Wanna grab a coffee or should we go to the job fair first?”
“Let’s go put in some applications, then grab something after.” I beam at her. “I’m so glad I met you this morning.”
“Me too. You have such good energy.” She rubs her hands together. “I hope we both get amazing jobs. And hey, we’re actresses- ish . If anyone can fake it ‘til they make it, it’s us.”
“You got that right. If Maria Conchita Violeta Estella Diaz could get a prize for being the best paralegal at Ramos, Ramos & Ramos, even after her boyfriend was cheating, I can land a job with no boyfriend and no heartache.” I laugh. “I am most probably the best paralegal The City has never known.”
“Yes, girl!” Skye lifts up her hand for a high-five and giggles when my hand comically misses the mark, glancing of her palm with a dull thud. “To being the best paralegals in The City,” she says, still giggling.
We step toward the law firm and away from the audition and I plaster on the best smile I can muster to mask the disappointment that I feel at knowing that I’ve failed once again as an actress.