Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
L ila
"He was gone all day," I say to Zara as we eat our Caesar salads in a cute little restaurant in Hell’s Kitchen. "It made me feel like perhaps he regretted it."
"But didn't you say he stopped by your desk before he left the office?" Zara, ever the voice of reason, says as she reaches for a breadstick and dunks it into marinara sauce.
"Yeah…am I just overthinking this?" I ask her as I dunk my own breadstick and take a bite of the buttery goodness.
"I mean, you did hook up with him and you said it was kind of kinky."
"I mean, it was kinkier than I'm used to, but I don't know if it was kinky to him. I mean, what if he regrets it? What if he wishes I would just quit because he doesn't want to see me again, and…"
"Lila, you are really in your head way too much," she says. "I'm sure that he had work to do. Isn't he an attorney?"
"Yeah."
"And he's a partner, right?"
"Yeah."
"So he has a lot to do."
"But I just feel bad."
"Really? You feel bad, or you feel nervous that he doesn't want to do it again?" she asks, teasing me.
"I mean, of course I want to do it again, and I hope he does too."
"Girl, you're glowing," Zara says. "You look really happy."
"I mean, surprisingly, even though he annoys me and we banter and go back and forth a lot, he's fun. And maybe it's just because he's really good looking, but he makes me laugh, and I don't know, I just enjoy being around him."
"So why don't you text him and ask him if he wants to come over tonight?"
"What? I can't do that."
"Sure you can. And his response will tell you how you should feel."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, if he says what time, you know he's totally into you."
"Yeah, that's true."
"And wouldn't you like to see him tonight?"
"I mean, if I'm being honest, yeah, but…"
"But what?"
"I don't want to seem too eager."
"Girl, don't play those games. Those games are from the seventies."
"Fine. I mean, I can text him. What should I say?"
"Just be like, 'Hey, what you up to? Want to come over tonight?'"
"Okay, should I do it now?" I look at her and she nods.
"Sure."
I grab my phone and quickly text Max. " Hey, hope your day went well. Do you want to come over this evening? " I hit send and the bubbles showing me that he's typing pop up almost immediately, sending my heartrate into a gallop. "Oh my God, he's responding already," I say. "I can't look." I grab my margarita and take a long gulp. "If he says he's coming over, I am going to need a couple more drinks because?—"
"No, you're not," Zara says. "So what did he say?"
I look back down at my phone. There's no response and the bubbles have stopped. "He didn't send anything," I say. "I saw him typing and I guess he's second guessing what he was going to say." My heart deflates. "Oh my gosh, now I feel absolutely embarrassed."
"Girl, you shouldn't. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about. If you want to see him, you want to see him."
"I should have waited for him to message me. I should have waited for—" My phone pings and Zara's eyes light up.
"I bet you it's him."
"Let me see," I say as I eagerly open the message. "Hey, thanks for the invite. I can't tonight. Sorry. See you tomorrow." I stare at Zara. "Well, I guess I have my answer."
"That's not so bad. It sounds like he's busy. Plus, if he really wanted you to quit or he wasn't interested, he wouldn't have said he’d see you tomorrow."
"You think so?" I ask, shaking my head. I let out a long, deep sigh. "Oh my gosh, how am I in this position? How am I in this position, Zara? I just don't even understand it. My brain can only think about this man and what happened between us. He's most probably not even thinking about me at all."
"I very much doubt he's not thinking about you at all." She leans forward. "The man's cock was inside of you all of last night, that sounds like he likes me to you."
"Or he's just a weirdo."
She giggles. "I don't think so. I mean, you haven't noticed baggies of people's skin or hair follicles, have you?"
"What?"
"Sorry, I was watching a serial killer show on Netflix the other day, and?—"
"I don't want to hear about it." I take a deep breath. "So, I know I shouldn't keep talking about him, but…"
"But nothing. I'm here for you. I love you Lila."
"I know. Do you think he used me? Do you think he just wanted to have sex and?—"
"No," she says. "I really don't think that. And you know I'm not the sort of person to lie about that because I know there are plenty of men out here who will fuck you and never talk to you again. I just don't get that vibe from him."
"But you've never even met him."
"But from what you've said to me, and based on the fact that he's responding so quickly, I think he is just focused on his work stuff and other stuff right now. Men aren't like us, Lila. Men don't have sex one time and become completely obsessed with their partner."
"I'm not completely obsessed with him."
"I know you're not obsessed with him, but you did just tell me that he's from South Carolina and that his family raised horses and that?—"
"Okay, fine, so I Googled him and I know a little bit of information about him. That doesn't mean I'm obsessed with him. I mean, I couldn't find any information about any of the women he's dated."
"But I bet you spent a long time looking."
"Only half the afternoon," I say, laughing. "I mean, it wasn't like I had much work to do." I grin. "Fine, okay. Maybe I'm getting close to stalker status, but I just kind of want to know where this is going. I mean, not that I think it's going anywhere, but?—"
"Lila, take a deep breath. You're fine."
"I know. So what else should we talk about?"
"Do you have any other auditions coming up?" she asks. "How's the acting going?"
"I haven't even been looking, to be honest. I've been so focused on trying to do a good job and thinking about Mrs. Whittington and her divorce, which her husband hasn’t even told her about, by the way, I guess I just haven't really?—"
"Lila," Zara interrupts, shaking her head. "You cannot forget about your acting dream because of this job. You need to still keep going on auditions. You need to keep looking. Remember what your true goal in life is. This is why I want you to come and live with me. This is why?—"
"No," I say. "I have to be Ms. Independent now. I have to take care of myself and if I'm going to make it?—"
"Then make it."
"But it will have to be on my own timeline, and right now, I need to focus. I need to focus on paying my bills and buying some furniture. And well, yeah, I kind of like working with Max and I kind of want to see where this thing between us goes."
"Girl, just five seconds ago you were saying you felt like he used you."
"Okay, so maybe I don't think that exactly. Maybe I'm just a little bit overwhelmed by how quickly everything has been moving and by just how strongly I feel about him."
"Are you falling for him, Lila?"
"No," I say, and finish my margarita quickly.
"That's a lie," she says. "I can tell."
"I'm not falling for him, Zara, I've already fallen. I think of his silky blonde hair and the way it felt on my fingertips. I think about the way that he looks at me and makes me wetter than a water park. I think about the way his lips have sucked and touched me. I think about waking up with him inside of me." How could a woman not be obsessed with a man who had integrated himself so fully into her life so quickly? How could I not be obsessed with him? He’s far from perfect, but he’s perfect for me. As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I want to groan. Everything about this situation is cringe worthy, and yet, I love it. "I think I'm falling in love with him." I stare at her and she finishes her margarita without saying anything. “Tell me the truth, do you think I'm crazy?"
"Do I think you're crazy because you're falling in love with a man you barely know? Do you even know his middle name?"
"He doesn't have one. Well, at least Google says he doesn’t."
"See? All the information you really know about him is from Google. You can't be falling in love with a man you haven't even gone on a date with."
"Well, we slept together."
"I know, and I know you must probably feel like you have this soul-tying connection with him, but you have to get to know him better."
"I know," I admit. "I just hope that he wants to get to know me better too."
"He'd be a fool if he didn't," she assures me, squeezing my hands. "You're beautiful, Lila, and I love that you have this connection, but I don't want you to give up on your dream. I don't want you to forget about acting. It's been your whole life up until now, and I'm just nervous that you're going to focus on this job and him and forget about what you really want to do."
"I will never forget about my dreams and goals to be an A-list actress," I say, shaking my head. "Of course I'm going to go to auditions, and of course I'm going to do everything I can to land as many roles as possible, but it doesn't hurt that I work for the most gorgeous man in the city and I can't seem to keep my mind off of him." My phone pings and I look down. It's Max. He sent me a picture of himself brushing his teeth and my heart races. I hold up the phone and show Zara and she smiles and shakes her head.
"He's attractive, I'll give you that, but why is he sending you that picture?"
"It's probably to let me know he's thinking of me." I say softly, and my heart melts. I know I'm being absolutely crazy, but maybe, just maybe, Max cares for me as well.