Chapter Twenty-One
Dani
I wasn’t sure why I was still here.
Evan had left an hour ago after we’d successfully reviewed the rest of the symposium designs. He’d had a good number of suggestions, mostly small changes that had made a huge impact, and my ribs still hurt from laughing.
It wasn’t that Evan was funny so much as he had an ease to him that brought levity to even the smallest things. Alec was a bit like that too. But despite some definite flirting on Evan’s part, I hadn’t found myself drawn to him in that way.
Yes, the guy was gorgeous, with his subtle dimples and bright blue eyes. But looking into his eyes didn’t stir anything inside me. There was no sensation of being swept up in a storm I never wanted to escape, both exhilarated and emboldened by its winds. It was more like looking out onto a calm lake. Certainly enjoyable, but not what I wanted to feel about a romantic partner.
A friend, sure. Evan seemed okay with that. He hadn’t pushed when I’d dodged his more flirtatious comments or appeared offended when I insisted on paying for my meal. And when he’d gotten up to leave, pausing with his brows raised in a final invitation, he hadn’t rolled his eyes or stomped away when I’d shaken my head. He’d just smiled in understanding and said good night.
Six months ago, I probably would have talked myself into going with him. Rationalized my way into his bed and hoped whatever “more” I craved materialized later.
But I was tired of rationalizing myself into things. Especially when my gut was finally starting to speak up. Or maybe I’d just finally given it enough space to be heard. Whichever it was, I wasn’t ready to silence it again.
All of which left me sitting alone as the restaurant wound down around me, changing the heading colors of my production spreadsheet instead of going home to sleep.
I should go home. It wasn’t even that I was afraid to; I just…wasn’t ready to leave yet. Almost like I was waiting for something. Only I had no idea what.
“You ready to close out?” Neela asked.
I startled out of my haze. “Sure, here.” I scrounged around in my bag for my wallet and slid her my credit card.
When I sat back up, Jase stood in the doorway to the kitchen, apron in hand. His eyes locked with mine, icy blue and burning, and all at once, I was caught in the storm again.
He swallowed as he approached the bar. “I didn’t think you’d still be here.” His voice was low, almost soft, grounding me after the high energy of my night.
“I know, it’s late. I was just…” I shrugged, trying to find the right word. “Unwinding.”
He nodded, eyes never leaving mine, his gaze waking up the nerves in my body one by one like light switches being flipped on until every part of me was lit up with awareness.
This was what I’d been waiting for. This connection flowing between us. I craved it the way I did doughnuts after someone brought them into the office too many days in a row. I’d gotten used to having it and hadn’t realized how much until it wasn’t there anymore.
“Here you go.” Neela laid the credit card folder beside me.
“I have some stuff to do in the office,” Jase said as I filled out the tip. I left Neela a big one to make up for occupying a seat at her bar all night. “But I won’t be long. You could stay if you wanted. Unwind a bit longer.”
My gaze returned to his, unable to resist the churning waves. “Yeah,” I said, a little breathless. “That sounds good.”
I didn’t know if the pounding of my pulse was simple, or the warmth rising to the surface of my skin as his eyes flicked to my mouth for the briefest of seconds before he walked away. All I knew was the same pull in my stomach that had told me not to go with Evan was telling me to stay now, and nothing within me wanted to resist.
The rest of the customers left, and I made my way over to one of the couches in the dining room, kicking my shoes off and sinking into the cushions. Somehow I’d come to feel as much at home here as I did in my own apartment. A few minutes later, the kitchen staff said their good nights, and Neela headed out, locking the front door on her way.
I rested my head against the padded arm of the couch and gazed up at the nearest chandelier, my stare dancing between the hundreds of tiny crystals reflecting the light like stars clustered throughout a galaxy. I felt as though I could reach up and touch them, float into the endless sky, and drift among their light. It was a little like being drunk, my body and mind completely relaxed, but without the haze of alcohol. Something else was in its place, a current of energy thrumming beneath my skin, locking me in the present moment.
I sensed, more than saw, when Jase joined me, his presence filling the room, wrapping around me like a heated blanket. My gaze dropped to where he lowered himself onto the opposite couch, sinking down enough to rest his head against the back cushion while still looking at me, his long legs relaxed out to the sides. He’d changed out of his chef clothes into a pair of dark jeans and a navy T-shirt, everything about him unassuming yet impossible to look away from.
Music played over the dining room speakers, mellow and flowing, drowning out the city streets and anything else beyond these walls. It felt like time had stopped and the only things that currently existed were in this room.
I tracked my eyes back over the lights and gave a lazy smile. “I love it here at night.”
His deep voice washed over me, bathing me in warmth. “You don’t have to work twelve hours straight to experience it, you know. You could just come in an hour before we close.”
I smiled wider and caught his amused gaze. “I like it here during the day too. It’s a good thing you don’t serve tiramisu, or Sal might get jealous.”
His lips rose. “Maybe I’ll start.”
“You’d have your work cut out for you. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but his is the best in the state.”
His smirk grew. “I like a challenge.”
A small thrill shot through me at the way he said it, all confidence and resolve, and we stayed like that, studying each other for a moment before he spoke.
“It seemed like you and Evan got along.” His voice stayed even, but the lightness in it had turned forced.
I shifted onto my side to face him. “We did. I’m going to talk to Talia about offering him some freelance work.”
His brows rose. “Wow. So you’re keeping him around, then.”
“Should I not?” A teensy part of me hoped he’d say no. The same part that hoped it had been regret in his gaze earlier. That he’d been jealous. Probably because that was how I felt whenever I imagined him dating another woman, caring for her, making her laugh. Cooking for her.
Something like liquid-hot metal scorched my chest and pooled in the pit of my stomach.
Jase stared at his hands in his lap, one thumb rubbing into the opposite palm. I fixated on the movement, mesmerized by each tiny flex of his fingers. “He’s a good guy,” he finally said, nodding. “A good friend to Aubrey.”
I swallowed a hint of disappointment. “I could use a good friend.”
His eyes shot up to mine. “You have one.”
“That’s true.” I tucked my hands between my face and where it lay against the armrest. “I’m lucky to have Robin.”
“I wasn’t talking about Robin.”
I knew. But to acknowledge what he did mean felt wrong somehow, like it was only half the truth, and I didn’t want to look at all of it only to have to turn away again.
My voice grew light. “I mean, I like Zach a lot, but I don’t think of us as being ‘good friends’ yet. We haven’t even had any sleepovers.”
Jase’s mouth twitched. “You’re missing out. He’s a hair-braiding pro.”
I smiled. “Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah. Killer dancer, too. If the gala falls flat, we can send him out there to fire things up on the dance floor.”
“You mean that’s not your job?”
He made a face. “You wouldn’t want that. I’m a terrible dancer.”
I huffed out a breath. “I don’t believe that for a second.” I’d spent too many hours watching him move in the kitchen, flowing with a confident grace that was hypnotic to watch.
“Okay, then.” He got to his feet, shaking out his arms and rolling his neck. “I’ll prove it.” His eyes gleamed as he extended a hand. “Dance with me.”
“What?” I laughed.
He waved me up. “Come on. Give me your professional opinion.”
“I was never a professional,” I said, but I set my hand in his anyway.
He tugged me to my feet, catching my waist with his other hand. “Still better than me,” he murmured.
My response evaporated from my lips as he stepped closer, his hand on my waist wrapping around to rest on my lower back, pulling me into him so our chests brushed. I slid my free hand over his shoulder and let myself lean into his warmth.
The room fell away as our bodies rocked gently side to side, his nearness like a drug. One whose high I’d been chasing since the first time he’d wrapped his arms around me after the note on my car and made me feel safe.
I breathed in his scent, catching the slightest hints of garlic and rosemary over his usual spice, and felt high all over again. His cheek grazed mine, the scruff of his jaw lightly scraping my skin, and my nipples pulled tight.
“You’re such a liar,” I breathed as a shiver ran through me. He was a fantastic dancer.
He released my hand and trailed his fingers up my arm, raising goose bumps in their wake. His thumb stroked my jaw, and he tilted my head up, drawing my heavy-lidded gaze to his. I was putty in his hands, practically melting as his eyes dropped to my mouth.
The first press of his lips against mine was so soft it was almost a question. I had no answers. My brain had whited out, no longer capable of thought, and I didn’t care if I ever got it back as long as I could keep kissing him.
I chased his mouth and pulled him to me, his tongue grazing my lips, and I moaned, opening to him, needing him closer, to taste more of him. I arched forward, running my hands into his hair, clinging to him as his tongue brushed mine.
It felt so good. He felt so good, his arms tightening around me, one hand cradling my face as the other molded my body to his, steadying me and making me dizzy all at once.
I never knew kisses could be like this.
The ones I’d had before had mostly been fine. Nice. Something I’d enjoyed well enough but that had always managed to feel mechanical, like assembling a couch. Slot mouth A against mouth B. For the passionate variation, use tongue.
But this.
This felt not only good but necessary. Like instead of air, the thing I needed to breathe was him.
He broke away from my lips to trail kisses down my neck as his hand sank into my hair and gently tugged. I panted for breath, tilting my head to the side so his mouth could close over my racing pulse. He sucked lightly, and my knees practically gave out, my hips shooting forward as my hands twisted in the fabric of his shirt.
I tugged his mouth back to mine, moaning again at the glide of his tongue as if maybe I’d imagined how good it was, only to be proven wrong.
His answering groan was like a stroke against my clit, and all I wanted was to hear it again. To stay locked in the back and forth of this kiss that was both gentle yet demanding, seeking yet allowing, urgent yet unrushed, forever.
It was only after he pulled away, who knew how long later, that I registered the latch of the back door clicking shut and the footsteps in the kitchen growing nearer. He rested his forehead against mine, our heavy breaths mingling, before giving my hip a final squeeze. Just as he stepped back, Aubrey strolled into the dining room.
“I’m surprised you’re still here,” she said, head lowered toward her phone. “I forgot my pants that I need to wash—oh.” She stopped in her tracks as she looked up, eyes widening at the sight of the two of us standing so close. She fought to keep her lips from rising. “I’m just gonna…” She pointed toward the stairs and scrambled across the dining room, leaving us alone again.
I bit back my grin and peeked at Jase. I wasn’t sure what expression his eyes would hold, and a part of me braced for embarrassment or regret. But all I found was the same steadiness that occupied my own body.
My gaze dropped to his mouth, and that steadiness melted into a simmering heat that pooled in my core and had me biting my lip.
He let out a soft groan. “You really need to stop looking at me like that.”
“Why?” My voice was all breath.
“Because,” he said with a dangerous smile as his thumb brushed over my bottom lip. “If I start kissing you again, I’m not gonna stop, and you’ve had a long day. You should get some sleep.”
He was right. The buzz still radiating through my body from our kiss was already struggling to fight off exhaustion, and even the temptation to kiss him again wasn’t enough to stop a yawn from escaping. Plus, Aubrey would be down here again soon, and I didn’t want her to feel awkward.
“See you tomorrow?” I asked.
I didn’t want to believe he’d avoid me again, but it’d be a lie to say a sliver of worry didn’t still taunt me with the possibility.
He must have seen it because he held my gaze, his eyes open and honest as he said, “I’ll be here.”