Chapter Ten Deserve to be Loved #3
The door shut, and the office felt bigger, colder. Kenny stared at the paperwork in front of him, but all he could feel was the fading echo of Aaron’s presence, a warmth that had the dangerous power to make even death seem quieter.
And somewhere deep beneath the hum of theory and timelines, Kenny felt the chill of something circling closer.
Whoever this killer was, whatever mercy they thought they were giving, they were watching. And waiting. For the next one.
Kenny intended to watch right back.
* * * *
Aaron arrived at work after a bracing walk that did absolutely nothing to shake the nerves buzzing under his skin.
Maybe it was because of how safe he’d been feeling lately.
Home with Kenny had become a soft place to land.
Too soft, maybe. No sharp corners, no need to keep his guard up.
It was nice. Beautiful, even. But it also felt as though he were shedding a skin he might need later.
Like if something came for him now, he’d reach for those old defences and find nothing but marshmallow underneath. No claws. No bite.
That scared him more than he’d admit.
But not as much as what greeted him when he stepped into the centre.
Christmas. Exploded. Everywhere.
Tinsel wrapped around every beam. Strings of lights flashing over the reception counter. And every single person in the office was wearing a jumper with a cartoon dog on the front and the words Pawsitively Festive! in sparkling red cursive.
“Jesus Christ.” Aaron dropped Chaos’s lead onto the hook and letting the retriever settle obediently into his basket beneath the desk. “Did Christmas throw up in here?”
Tessa tossed a crumpled bundle at his chest. “Boss’s orders.” She jingled as she moved. Today’s earrings were mini sleigh bells.
Aaron caught the jumper and unfolded it with suspicion. A bright red monstrosity featuring a lurcher in a Santa hat staring back at him.
He crumpled the jumper into a ball. “Not happening.”
“Oh, come on!” Tessa pouted. “Bet you’ll look real cute in it.”
“I look better naked.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when a shadow fell across his desk.
“We’ll be leaving in ten.” Blackwell dropped his hand on Aaron’s back.
It was only for a second, but with enough pressure to make Aaron’s muscles seize and brace his palms instinctively on the desk.
And long enough to make it clear he could touch him.
And no one would say a thing. He even stroked.
“Try it on,” he said, finally removing his hand.
“If you need another size, we have others. But I think I have you correct.”
Did Blackwell touch everyone like that? The casual hand-on-the-back thing?
The guiding touches, the fingers on a shoulder never quite feeling professional.
Or was it him? Was he imagining it? Was this normal for those in charge?
He had no frame of reference. That crappy shop job he’d worked during undergrad didn’t count.
His boss barely spoke to him, let alone touched him.
After that, there’d only been his inheritance… and Kenny.
Kenny, whose touch was deliberate, safe, earned.
Wanted.
Was that the difference?
He’d spent years walking around with a neon-lit don’t touch me sign pulsing off his skin, and people had obeyed. Everyone but Kenny. And now Kenny was smoothing his sharp edges, letting him want it, teaching him to hold still and feel, was he was becoming something else?
Not touch-me-and-die.
More… touch-me-and-I’ll-flinch and have a full-on trauma response.
Aaron sidestepped, shrugging off the contact with a smile that had all the warmth of a rusted scalpel. It didn’t touch his eyes.
“No promises,” he said, voice flat as cold stone. “If it itches, I’m calling HR.”
“It’s top-quality cotton,” Tessa called out from across the room. “Strokes my skin like a fairy!”
Aaron pointed at her. “That’s offensive.”
He ducked behind Blackwell already mid-conversation, already pretending not to track him with those dead-eyed glances and made a beeline for the loos, heart thudding behind his ribs.
Inside, the cubicle was out of order. Locked. With a handwritten sign taped to the door: Not flushing. DO NOT USE.
Figures.
Aaron dropped the novelty jumper over the sink and yanked off his hoodie as a shiver climbed up his spine. He clocked movement in the mirror before the door creaked open behind him.
He didn’t need to turn around.
He already knew.
Aaron lifted his chin, meeting Blackwell’s lecherous gaze in the mirror. He stood in the doorway as if he owned the fucking air, and the way he dragged his eyes over Aaron’s chest, settling on the metal at his nipple, wasn’t subtle. Wasn’t accidental, either. Aaron could feel every inch of it.
Blackwell didn’t even pretend to look away. “If it doesn’t fit, there’s always another one.”
Aaron didn’t bother to analyse that and yanked the jumper on.
Not because he was told, but because he hated the cold on his skin more than the feel of fabric.
The cotton slipped over him as if made to provoke.
Velvety. Flattering. Infuriating. If it hadn’t been for the glittering cartoon dog and the words Merry Woofmas, he might have nicked it and worn it home.
“Suits you. Must know your type.” Blackwell lingered far too long, a secretive smile lifting his lips as if he’d let Aaron into something private between them. “See you in the car. Bring the dog.”
The door clicked shut behind him.
Aaron stood there, the warmth of the jumper crawling up his neck. His reflection stared back. And for some reason he was unsure of, he fished out his phone and called Kenny.
He picked up on the second ring. “Hey. Everything okay?”
“I love you.”
There was a beat. Brief. Kenny’s usual processing pause.
The one Aaron knew meant his whole mind had already shifted gears.
Not because Aaron never said it. He did.
He tossed it over his shoulder like an afterthought most of the time.
Definitely moaned it into kisses. And often used it as a weapon in arguments so he could watch Kenny roll his eyes and call him theatrical.
Plus there was that thing he’d said in bed after the bath the other night, of which he still recoiled at how vulnerable he’d been saying it.
But this wasn’t one of those times.
So Kenny said, “You need me to come get you?”
Aaron bit his thumbnail, eyes still locked on the mirror. “No. Just… say something steady.”
“What’s happening?”
“They’re making me wear a Christmas jumper.”
He heard the quiet smile in Kenny’s reply. “I’ll bet you look cute as a button.”
“That is not steady.”
Kenny shifted gears like he always did when it mattered, and with that utter conviction Aaron craved like a drug, he said, “You’re safe. You’re mine. I’ve got you. And I love you. Adore you, actually.”
Aaron swallowed hard. The sting behind his eyes coming too fast to blink away.
“Do you practise these?” He sniffed. “Have a list of perfect things to say and spin the wheel depending on how broken I sound?”
“I say what needs saying.”
“How do you know?”
“I’m very clever.” Kenny’s office chair creaked through the line, as if he was leaning back, probably tapping his pen to his lips, legs crossed in that hot, fucking psychology professor way. “Astute, some might say.”
Aaron let out a quiet breath. “Fuck. I think I might need something.”
“I know, baby. And you’re ready.”
“I am?”
“You wouldn’t have called if you weren’t.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re not pretending anymore. You’re reaching out.”
Aaron closed his eyes. “But I’ve needed you all along.”
“No. You’ve wanted me. Need is very different.”
“How so?”
“Want is your body. Need is your mind. And what am I, Aaron?”
“A head person.”
“Mmm. I do very much love head.”
“You’re a prick.”
Kenny chuckled, then recalibrated. “Wear the jumper. Smile for the photos. Put on your fakery. Raise the money. Say what you need to say. Do what you need to do. Get those dogs in their safe new homes.” A pause. Heavy with meaning. “Like the one you have now. With me.”
Aaron’s heart kicked hard in his chest.
Then Kenny shifted into velvet, warm and commanding. “Then come home with me, and I’ll strip the whole day off you. Piece by piece. And will hold you safe and let you breathe. Then I’ll give you what you need. Deserve.”
Somehow, in a toilet full of flickering lights, with a jumper that didn’t fit his skin but hugged him anyway, Aaron smiled.
The only genuine one he’d give today, that was for sure.