Chapter 26 #2
I look up toward the sky, remembering the last time I made him grovel.
It forced his hand, and I became his girlfriend.
The reason I haven't been worried about talking is because I know whatever he has to say won't change what's in my heart.
I love him—then—now—always. Now, I only need him to realize the same thing.
I'm not going anywhere, because where he is… is where I want to be.
"You might be on to something there," I confirm.
"I'm glad you agree, because he just showed up," she says coolly.
"Wait, he's on the guest list?" I ask curiously, turning around to spot him for myself. With the constant bickering and shit-slinging, I assumed London and Trigg were not making the list tonight.
"Not exactly. Madison asked if I'd take over Gypsy's care while she was in isolation. I invited her and Abbey. It would appear their plus-ones are the Hale brothers."
My pulse skyrockets when I see him. Time doesn't exactly stop, but it shifts, slowing the way it does when you're in an accident, and everything becomes crystalline and inevitable all at once.
I don't understand how it's humanly possible to be so intensely drawn to someone.
Every time I see him, it is like the first time.
He takes my breath away, my pulse increases, my hands get clammy, and the butterflies are in a full-on flurry.
Tonight is not different. If anything, it's amplified because, tonight, I'm set on ending the standoff and making him mine while I might be scared shitless.
The fear of not taking this jump is worse .
"I'm going to get a refill, mingle, and possibly commit a tasteful murder," Asha jests with a sharp smile. "Care for a drink while I'm orchestrating chaos?"
"I'll be right behind you. I just need a moment to sharpen my knives," I reply, wearing my own dangerously sweet smile.
"Now you're speaking my language," she says before disappearing down the adjacent stone staircase.
I haven't even finished watching her descend the staircase when a familiar voice approaches. "There you are. I was hoping I'd run into you tonight," Madison says, joining me on my perch.
"Oh, hey, you look stunning as usual," I say, returning the hug she goes in for the second I face her.
"As a performer, I have no shortage of dresses," she laughs, her eyes already cataloging every face in the crowd before returning to mine with laser focus.
Then, dipping her hand inside her bra, she pulls out a folded piece of paper.
"I don't mean to keep you from the party.
I just wanted to make sure I gave you this. "
I take the paper and unfold it to find it's a check.
Ten thousand dollars as promised. I stare at the check blankly.
This money has so much potential to help me get started at the end of summer, but accepting it no longer feels right, especially when I can't help but feel like I'm taking something—or rather, someone—from her.
"Madison, I can't take this. What I did with Gypsy wasn't worth nearly this much," I say, offering it back.
She doesn't reach for it. "I had a feeling you'd say that. The truth is, I needed Gypsy healthy, he's how we make our living, but I was really paying for something else entirely."
"And what's that?" I question, not following her explanation.
"I had to know if you were the girl." She takes a slow sip of her bourbon.
"The girl?"
She raises a brow at me. "A woman knows when she's not the girl that owns a man's heart.
" She smiles with the kind of sad wisdom that comes from loving someone who belongs to someone else.
"We know when it's been taken by someone else.
" I watch as she swirls the amber liquid in her glass and wait to see if she'll say more.
"For a while, I thought maybe I could steal it, that maybe he could learn to love me, but a piece of me always knew I was only fooling myself.
The second Trigg introduced us at the wedding, I knew you were the ghost of a past I could never compete with. "
I twist one of my rings nervously, her honesty settling like a stone in my chest. "How did you know it was me?"
"Your name," she says with gentle certainty, as though that answer is obvious, though I know it's not.
London said he didn't talk about me. It's odd that she could have known who I was the first time we met.
Then, as if reading my thoughts, she adds, "I'll let you piece that together in your own time, but it's why I offered you that money.
I wanted your help, but I also needed your time just to be sure.
" Wow, that was an admission I didn't expect to hear.
She literally paid to find out if I was the other woman.
Her eyes trace the yard. "I'm not going to pretend I know the past the two of you share.
I don't. I care about him. I want the best for him, and even though it stings a little to admit this, it was worth every penny.
" She nods to the party below. "It was worth it to help that tortured soul find peace.
That man loves you, even if what he says tells you differently. It's a lie."
London is talking to another guest below when his eyes peer up at me. He does a double-take when he sees who's standing at my side. Even at this distance, I can see his shoulders tense.
"I don't know what to say," I begin helplessly.
"Don't say anything." She gently pushes my hand holding the check back.
"A new horse would have cost me twice this, and someone else might not have figured out what you did, which could have cost me precious time with my sister.
Besides…"—her gaze drifts toward the bar where an auburn-haired man raises his gl ass to her with unmistakable interest—"I have a feeling my story isn't over, just..
.redirecting." Her smile becomes genuinely warm. "I'll see you around, Laney Hart."
After all the confessions I have given and heard, I need a drink. I follow a few steps behind Madison, but instead of heading to the bar, I veer right and cut off a server carrying a tray of champagne, stealing not one but two flutes.
"For a friend," I lie with a smile before making my way to the edge of the party.
All the people I care to talk to are currently unavailable.
Asha is plotting, Fisher is talking to a pretty girl across the pool, and Sydney is currently in bed with a migraine.
The stress of deciding whether to continue her education is taking a toll on her.
Sydney has a very carefree exterior, but inside, she's a boss bitch—fiercely independent, confident, smart as hell, and unafraid to go after exactly what she wants.
I wish I could help her work it out, but this is one of those things she has to decide for herself so that she has no regrets.
"Hey," a sultry voice wraps around me like silk. "Are one of those for me?"
I take a hefty drink, downing half of the flute in one go. The champagne burns slightly but not nearly as much as the familiar warmth radiating from beside me. "No, they're for me," I say with a coy smile, finally turning to look into the eyes I've avoided for the past five days.
God, those eyes. Still a dark hurricane that can make me forget my own name, framed by lashes that shouldn't be legal on someone who already broke my heart once. He's standing closer than necessary, close enough that I can smell his cologne, and it's utterly intoxicating, just like the man.
"You didn't return my texts."
"I know. I had a lot to think about," I say before finishing off one flute.
"Do you care to elaborate on that? "
"Your aftercare is shit. I wasn't sure if I wanted to entertain another abysmal performance." He steals my extra glass of champagne. "Hey, that's mine," I grumble.
He downs it one go. "Sorry, that wasn't at all what I was expecting you to say when I walked over here."
"Not used to women telling you you're shit in bed?" I deadpan, the words sliding out before I can stop them. Apparently, small jabs are my coping mechanism of choice this evening.
His jaw tightens, and something dangerous flickers behind his eyes.
He takes a slow step closer, his voice dropping to barely above a whisper.
"Heartbreaker, if you have something you want to say, then say it.
But don't you dare stand there and lie to both of us by pretending what we shared wasn't earth-shattering the same way it was the first time. "
The air between us crackles with tension, and I hate how my pulse quickens at his proximity, at the raw honesty bleeding through his words.
Own it, Laney. Tell him everything you've wanted to say. You said you would. If you can't own your shit, you can't ask him to do the same.
"You kissed her…" I lick my lips.
His hand runs over his jaw. "I kissed her to forget you, then I kissed her to hurt you.
The problem with kissing Madison is that it was never really her.
It always came back to you. When you walked out of that barn, I ended things.
She and I haven't been anything in a long time.
That was the first kiss we shared in over a year, and I made it clear there wasn't going to be another. "
His words hurt, not because they aren't the ones I want to hear, but because they confirm what's been right in front of me all along.
He tried to come clean and speak his piece, but I was too scared to listen.
Too afraid to hope for an us again when I'm barely surviving losing him the first time. But I'm not scared anymore.
"You didn't let me finish." My voice comes out steadier than I feel.
"You kissed her, and I had to get out of there.
" I spin the stem of my empty flute, condensation making my already trembling fingers slip, but somehow, that gives me the courage to push forward with my own raw truth.
"I had to get out of there because I wanted it to be me. "