Chapter 31 #2
We've talked about kids, but it's always been an in-the-future talk, one where we're settled, living under one roof, and sharing a name.
We're doing things out of order, and I think he'll be happy regardless, but there's about a three percent chance he might not be as excited as I am.
I've also had two hours to sit with the news.
The longer I sat, the happier I got. I just know that, together, our baby is going to have the best life, full of lots of love, with two parents instead of one.
"Not even a question. If there's anything that looks different, it will be the initial shock of finding out and then piecing together that he's about to be responsible for another human life.
Still, it will probably take all of ten seconds for his face to light up with sheer happiness.
Laney, that man has loved you since the day you met.
I know the two of you have had more than your fair share of obstacles to work through, ones that he may have created, but his heart was always in the right place. "
I nod. I know he's right. He loves me like he never left me, like he never let me go, and that is because, in his heart, he didn't. I owned it all this time, just like he owned mine. There's a reason no one else ever fit. They weren't him.
"His bike is here. That's a good sign he is too," Fisher says, putting the car in park. "Let me open your door, please. I know you can do it… but please just let me get it for you."
I roll my eyes. "You can open my door, Fish, but remember, don't say anything. I'll tell him."
"I won't spoil the best-kept secret. Just don't make me keep it too long, or I can't promise I won't slip up," he says, exiting the car.
I guess I better get used to it. Fisher has been giving me the princess treatment ever since we left the hospital, and I already know London is going to do the same. It's in his nature. He's always taking care of me and predicting what I'll need before I need it.
Fish opens the front door before leaving my side. "London," he calls out from the living room. "London, get your ass out here, fucker."
I've just closed the front door when London walks out of his room in nothing but a towel, water still dripping from his dark hair. Our eyes connect, and my heart doesn't just skip—it fractures. God, I missed him.
I missed the way he looks at me like I'm his whole world, the warmth of his hand in mine, and the safety I feel with his arms wrapped around me.
When he didn't answer my calls, I thought something may have happened.
I take a step in his direction, eager to tell him about my day, when something on his face changes.
Something that looks a hell of a lot like regret and apology, and my knees get weak.
"Where have you been? I've been trying to get ahold of you for hours," Fisher's voice cuts through the tension.
London's eyes never leave mine. He licks his lips, and I watch the rise and fall of his chest kick up a notch, and my body remembers his, every kiss, every whispered promise, every moment we shared building our future together just hours ago. "My phone died," he says, his voice hoarse.
"London, thanks for everything."
The familiar voice sends ice through my veins, freezing me in place.
My stomach plummets, taking my heart with it as recognition crashes through me.
The look on his face…that voice…and finally, she steps out—the girl he swore meant nothing, the girl who was supposed to be in our past. Her hair is mussed in a way that tells a story I don't want to read as she clasps a necklace around her neck with fingers that shake slightly.
Of course, it's Madison.
"Oh, hey," she says when she sees Fisher and me standing frozen at the end of the hall.
London's fists are clenched at his sides, his eyes tortured, and I know…
I know without asking what happened behind that door, but I do it anyway.
I can practically taste the betrayal coating my tongue like poison.
But if this is how we end, if this is how he destroys everything we built together, he doesn't get to take the coward's way out.
He's going to use his words and tell me to my face that we're over.
There's no cop car here to drive him away this time, no murder to hide behind.
"Tell me this isn't what it looks like, London.
" I try to keep my tone even when, inside, I'm splintering, each jagged piece piercing deeper than the last. The way his eyes are looking at me now, with guilt and pain, only adds insult to injury.
He knew what he was doing. "Say it!" I yell, and everyone flinches.
Madison's pale-blue eyes dart from me to him like she's watching a tennis match, and I see the exact moment she realizes she's witnessing our end.
London's right eye twitches, and his eyes turn glassy with unshed tears that he has no right to cry. When he speaks, his voice breaks on every syllable. "I can't tell you that."
The words hit me like bullets, each one finding its mark and tearing through what's left of my heart. This is it. This is how our love dies, with four words that reduce everything we were to nothing.
"Are you fucking serious, man?" Fisher explodes, his voice cracking with emotion. "Do you have any idea what you've just done...where we've been all day?—"
"Fisher, don't," I say, panic flooding my system as I realize what he's about to reveal. I press my hand instinctively to my stomach. I don't want London to know, not like this. I don't want his pity, and I sure as hell don't want his empty apologies for the sake of our unborn child.
"But, Laney?—"
"No." The word comes out sharp and clear. "He chose this. Let him have it. He's not worth it." I pause, letting the truth settle in my bones like lead. "Turns out he never was."
I watch London's Adam's apple bob as my words choke him, watch the way his face crumples like I've physically struck him.
Still, he says nothing. The silence stretches between us, heavy with all the words we'll never say, all the promises he's broken, all the tomorrows he's stolen from us.
I'm hurting him. I can see it in the way his shoulders shake, in the tears that finally spill over and track down his cheeks.
Which means he cared. He loved me. Just not enough.
Not enough to choose me over whatever this was with her. Not enough to fight for us.
I take one last look at the man I've loved since I was old enough to understand the depth and weight of the word.
I let my eyes rake down his body, memorizing and saying goodbye at the same time because I need to cleanse myself of him.
The next time I allow myself to look into his eyes, they will hold nothing but hate.
I hate him for hurting me, for choosing her, for throwing away everything good between us.
But I loathe him with every fiber of my being for destroying our family before it ever had a chance to begin.
He didn't just close the door on us; he slammed it shut on our baby, on the tiny heartbeat I heard just hours ago, on the future we'll never have .
As I turn on my heel, I hear feet pounding against the wood floorboards, then Madison screeches, and the sickening sound of fist hitting bone echoes through the house.
"You fucking idiot!" Fisher's voice is raw with fury and heartbreak. "How could you?"
That's the last thing I hear as the door closes behind me with a finality that echoes in my chest. I leave Hale Ranch for the last time, carrying London's child and the shattered remains of a love that was supposed to last forever.
"Goodbye, London."