25. Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jax
It’s been an entire week.
Seven days.
One hundred and sixty-eight hours since I told Allie how I really feel about her.
I was so nervous that night, she told me she thought I was trying to break things off.
I felt like a complete piece of shit for acting so fidgety, but the truth?
I was just trying to claw my way out of the mess in my head, going over everything I wanted to say.
And even then, I barely got half of it out.
After things ended with Emelia, I blamed myself for everything.
Over and over, I told myself I just wasn’t worth loving, or that I should have somehow known I’d find my wife in bed with some random guy.
But then Allie came along, and little by little, she’s been putting me back together without even realizing it.
And I don’t think I could ever thank her enough for that.
Then finding out she practically went through the same thing, albeit finding him in bed with someone, it became my top priority to make sure she never feels that way again.
Ever .
But meeting her daughters? That’s a whole different kind of scary. I don’t know the first thing about kids—especially not little girls. She’s told me so much about them that I feel like I already know them in some way, but I know meeting them will be a different story.
The funny thing about all of this though? As nerve-racking as meeting her kids sounds, it’s nothing compared to the idea of everyone finding out we’ve been sneaking around behind their backs.
I know James is going to take it the hardest. We’ve always been incredibly close, and I know it’ll feel like a punch to the gut for him.
He’ll come around eventually, but at first?
Yeah, he’s gonna be pissed. Especially when he realizes I’ve been lying for almost four weeks .
That all those late-night “gym runs” weren’t exactly the kind of workout he had in mind.
Just as I lift an apple halfway to my mouth, Gareth drops onto the barstool next to me at the kitchen island. I catch him out of the corner of my eye, watching me intently while he gets settled.
“What?” I ask, then finally take a bite.
“How much longer?” he asks, hands clasped on the worktop in front of him.
I frown. Thinking he means the show we’re heading to, I reply, “Doors don’t open until seven, so probably another twenty minutes.”
He lets out a quiet laugh and shakes his head. “Not the show, man. I mean how much longer until you tell everyone about you and Allie?”
My eyes go wide. I whip around on the stool so fast I almost topple over.
“Keep your voice down,” I say through my teeth.
I glance around to make sure we’re alone before leaning in a little. “We’re telling everyone at the barbecue tomorrow, okay?”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, James’s head pops into the kitchenette, and my stomach sinks.
“Relax,” James says, stepping fully into the room. “I already knew.”
“You knew ?” I practically yell, half rising out of my seat. I swing my glare back to Gareth. “You fucking told him?”
I was hesitant to tell Gareth in the first place, knowing he has a big mouth, but I figured I could trust him with this one thing.
Apparently, that was a mistake.
Allie’s going to lose her shit.
James drops onto the stool next to Gareth, leaning forward to see me across the island.
“He didn’t tell me,” he says with a shrug. “I figured it out. Well, Ana did, actually. We just figured it’d be more helpful to keep quiet and let you guys come clean on your own.” He grins like it’s no big deal.
I drag both hands down my face, already feeling my blood pressure skyrocketing. My face is probably turning ten different shades of red by now.
Then something registers, and my head snaps toward James.
“Wait— Ana knows ? Does that mean everyone knows?”
He shakes his head. “Nora definitely doesn’t. Ana figured it out that first night at their place. Said she saw you two in the kitchen, standing just a little too close.” He shoots me a grin and wiggles his eyebrows.
I groan. “Look, we’re planning to tell everyone tomorrow, okay? So can you please just pretend you didn’t know? Nobody was supposed to know except Gareth.”
His expression slowly drops. “Yeah, man. Of course,” he agrees quietly.
“Thanks,” I say, letting out a breath and sliding off the barstool.
I’m halfway out of the kitchen when I feel a tap on my shoulder that stops me in my tracks. I turn to see James behind me with his hands shoved in his pockets and a frown on his face.
“Can I ask you something?” he asks.
I nod, swallowing hard. “What’s up?”
He hesitates, then shrugs a little. “Why didn’t you want me to know? Did you think I’d judge you for it?”
“Honestly, man?” I say, shaking my head with a shrug. “I don’t even know. I wasn’t thinking about what would happen after. I was just caught up in the moment. And I’m sorry it went down like this… but I’m not sorry we did it.”
I pause, then glance back up at him. “But I do feel like shit for lying to you. You’ve always had my back, even when you didn’t have to. I should’ve trusted you with this.”
His expression softens. “Does she make you happy?”
The question hits me in the chest, and before I realize it, I’m smiling. “Unbelievably.”
He grins, too, gives a little nod, and steps back toward the door. “Then I’m happy for you, man.”
I watch him leave, and it’s like someone lifted a concrete block off my shoulders. Maybe keeping it quiet wasn’t the smartest move after all—especially since apparently, everyone already knew . But there’s no going back now.
I just hope Allie doesn’t flip her lid.
The second we pull up to the venue, this weird wave of déjà vu hits me.
It’s been almost a month since we played this exact stage, but tonight? We’re here as fans.
Well… fans sounds too formal.
We’re here as friends . As a support system for a band that, like us, got scouted during last year’s Overcast Tour.
Just like every group that hit the stage last summer, these guys are insanely talented.
They’ve already been on tour for two months, which makes sense since they hit the studio way before we did.
So when we found out they were coming back through Boston, there was no question about it. We had to be here to cheer them on.
Still, it’s a strange feeling. Being on this side of it. Waiting in line with the crowd versus lugging gear through the back door.
James nudges me with his elbow and nods behind me. “Your lady just rolled up,” he says, teasing.
I wish he’d cool it with the jokes—especially with Casey standing right behind us.
I know he doesn’t mean any harm, but seriously…
is it really that hard to keep something quiet for just one more day?
He’d been doing so well, I didn’t even know he knew, and now?
It’s like it’s the only thing he wants to talk about.
But the second she comes into view, all of that irritation just disappears, like the wind comes through and sweeps it clean off my shoulders.
I stand there, arms crossed, unable to stop the grin that creeps across my lips.
Every step she takes closer, it’s like I can breathe a little easier. Like for the first time today, I’m actually taking a full breath that fills my lungs.
She’s the breath of fresh air I never knew I needed.
And then she’s right in front of me, smiling like I’m exactly what she needed today.
“Come here often?” she teases, throwing in a subtle wink before giggling.
My hand moves on its own—thumb brushing lightly across her bottom lip.
“Not nearly often enough,” I murmur, and quickly pull my hand away.
“All right, gang. We ready?” Gareth’s voice cuts in.
My heart lurches straight into my throat.
Fuck. I didn’t even think. What if someone else saw that? What if he had been Nora? Or even Casey.
I glance at Allie, half expecting her to look panicked, but she doesn’t even flinch. She’s still looking at me with those big, wide, doe-eyed blues, completely calm. Like it didn’t even register as something we needed to hide anymore.
Either she hasn’t put two and two together… or maybe she’s starting not to care who finds out.
And that thought alone makes my chest feel just a little bit lighter.
Just one more day.
I forgot how much fun it is to just be in the crowd.
It obviously doesn’t beat being the one on stage, but the adrenaline still pulses through your veins just the same down here. Especially with these guys. They don’t play any heavier than we do, but I definitely took a few mental notes for when we hit the road.
The final chord of BearPaw’s outro rips through the venue, vibrating up through the floor and straight into my boots.
“Thank you, Boston!” the lead singer, Taylor, yells into the mic while their drummer hammers out one last blast from the kick pedals.
Allie turns and flashes me a grin. “They were good!” she shouts over the noise of the crowd as conversations start picking up around us again.
I lean down, and instantly have to mentally kick myself.
She’s so close. And goddamn , is it getting harder to keep my hands to myself. My fingers twitch with the urge to brush the hair from her forehead, maybe press a quick kiss to her cheek. But I can’t yet.
Instead, I lean close to her ear and say, “Yeah, they’re great.”
We all head toward the bar, and thankfully, most of the crowd sticks around by the stage, waiting for the headliner. The floor’s sticky under the soles of my boots as we walk, and I’m hit with a flashback to the last time we were here.
“Good thing there were no injuries this time,” I joke with a chuckle.
Allie looks up at me, eyes going wide before she swats my arm playfully. “Yeah, I wonder if the lead singer would call it out over the mic. I heard a band did that once,” she shoots back with a grin.
We finally make it to the bar, and I lean against it, the cool wood pressing against my elbows.