26. Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Six
Allie
“Go back inside, Allie!” Nora yells, jabbing her finger toward the doors.
Her face is bright red as she paces back and forth. She hasn’t let me get a single word in, not that I blame her. What we did was crappy. But at the end of the day, my sex life isn’t really anybody else’s business.
“Nora, just listen—”
“No!” she snaps, even louder. “Why should I listen to anything you say? You’ve been lying to me for a month, Allie. And judging by Ana’s face, I’m guessing she already knew too.”
I shake my head and step forward, stopping a few feet away. “I didn’t tell her either, Nora. You’re not the only one who didn’t know.”
“Oh, so she figured it out and decided not to tell me either?” Her voice cracks. “You don’t think I know I’m the black sheep of this whole trip? You don’t think I see how close you and Ana are, and I’m just… there ?”
“That’s not tr—”
“Yes, it is!” she shouts, her voice sharp and shaking. “I picked up on it the day we went to the zoo! Ana asking me to get her phone knowing damn well it was in her pocket?” She scoffs. “I’m not an idiot, Allie.”
“Nobody said you were, Nor—”
“You don’t have to! I see it. But I was dumb enough to think we were close enough that you’d tell me something like this. Why would you even hide it? Especially knowing I’ve been seeing Gareth?”
“I didn’t tell anyone because it’s nobody’s business who I’m seeing!” I snap back, my voice rising to match hers.
“I told you !”
“No, you didn’t! Jax walked in on you two!”
“I would have told you is my point! You’re my best friend, Allie. My best friend . I don’t get how you don’t see that this hurts. I mean—”
Suddenly, my stomach lurches. A deep, sharp twist that makes me feel like I’m going to be sick. Bile creeps up my throat, but I force it down and breathe through it the best I can.
Nora throws her arms out, slapping them against her sides. “You’re not even listening to me. Why am I wasting my time?”
I press a hand to my stomach, clutching the fabric of my shirt like that’ll help settle it somehow.
“I am listening, Nora. But you’re not hearing me. You don’t think I wanted to tell you? I did. I just… couldn’t.”
She huffs. “That makes zero sense.”
I let out a shaky breath, a bitter laugh slipping through. “I spent eight years trying to feel like I was enough—”
“Oh, don’t start with the Trevor shit,” she cuts in. “It’s really getting old, Allie.”
My mouth falls open. I can’t speak. I can’t even look at her.
“Are you serious right now?” My voice is hoarse, barely there.
She presses her lips together and nods. “I’ve listened to you cry over him for the past two years, Allie. And then you just jump into bed with Jax? You clearly couldn’t have been that heartbroken,” she says with a shrug.
I stare at her, stunned. “I stopped crying a year ago, Nora. It’s been two years ,” I shout, my voice cracking, throat burning. “And you don’t get to point fingers at me when you’re the one who slept with Gareth on the first night . Three months after Michael walked out!”
The bile’s rising again, flooding my mouth with that awful pre-vomit heat, but I try to force it down like everything else.
“You know that’s not how it went down!”
Swallowing doesn’t help anymore. It’s rising too fast now. That burning, acidic taste already hitting the back of my throat. I try breathing through my nose and instantly regret it, catching a sour mix of alcohol and cigarette smoke from the small crowd that we’ve apparently gathered.
“I was drunk, okay?” she snaps. “Michael might’ve left three months ago, but—”
Oh no…
“Nora,” I choke out, my breath catching as the sidewalk suddenly shifts under my feet and everything starts spinning.
“What!”
But I can’t answer. My hand clamps over my mouth as I bolt to the nearest trash can. I barely make it before I’m hunched over, heaving so hard it feels like my ribs might crack. Everything in my stomach empties all at once.
Footsteps rush up behind me, and then I feel a warm hand on my back.
I glance sideways and—of course—it’s Jax.
“Hey, you okay, love?” he asks softly, kneeling beside me. He pulls a hair tie from his pocket, quickly ties my hair back, and rubs slow circles on my lower back.
Then all I hear is Nora laughing behind me. And suddenly, all I want is for the sidewalk to just open up and swallow me whole.
“You better hope you didn’t knock her up,” she spits. Then, under her breath—but just loud enough for me to hear—“Just gonna be another part-time baby for her to pass off.”
That’s it. That’s about all I can take.
She could’ve called me a whore. A slut. A terrible friend. And I would’ve taken it—hell, maybe I even deserve it. But this?
To say I pass off my daughters? After everything I’ve done? After all the support she’s pretended to give me these last two years?
I don’t even want to defend myself. I just want to go home.
Jax’s hand slips off my back. I hear his footsteps shift quickly.
But before he can say anything, Ana’s voice cuts in. “Hey, quick question,” she calls out, just a few feet to my left. “Are you fucking kidding me ?”
I push myself up from the trash can, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.
Reaching out, I grab Jax’s arm. He stops right away, turning toward me.
I shake my head slowly, murmuring, “It’s okay. Just leave it.”
His brow furrows, and then he lets out a loud, bitter snarl. “No. Fuck that, Allie . You don’t deserve any of that.”
He turns sharply, eyes locking on Nora with a hard glare.
“I get that you’re hurt, Nora. I do. But that ?” He points at me, his jaw tight. “That was way too far. You don’t get to talk about her like that. You don’t get to say she’s ‘passing off’ her kids when yours aren’t with you either.”
“Jax, back off and take care of your girl,” Gareth cuts in, stepping forward, eyes locked on Jax like he’s ready to throw down.
Jax doesn’t flinch. “Then get yours sobered up,” he fires back.
But thankfully, he turns away before it blows up even worse. He just wraps his arms around me and pulls me in like he’s acting as my shield against everyone.
I bury my face in his chest, eyes squeezed shut as another wave of nausea crashes through me.
He gently takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger, lifting it until I’m looking at him again.
And the second our eyes meet, I lose it.
Tears spill, no matter how hard I try to hold them back.
He pulls me close again, his lips brushing my forehead in the softest kiss.
“Come on, love,” he whispers into my hair. “Let’s get you out of here.”
The whole drive back, my head was pounding.
It felt like I’d been drinking all night, even though I hadn’t touched a drop. Just an alcohol-less hangover made up of only stress and every word Nora threw at me echoing on repeat.
From the digs about my parenting to the passive-aggressive “ better hope you’re not pregnant ” jab, it all keeps bouncing around in my brain like a pinball machine I can’t pull the plug on.
And it’s stupid—I know it’s stupid—but once someone plants that seed, you can’t stop it from growing like a weed.
Am I just imagining symptoms now? Or… could I actually be pregnant?
I woke up feeling like garbage this morning, but I was too excited to see Jax to care. I popped a couple of anti-nausea pills and kept moving. But now? Now I can’t stop thinking about it.
I’m so lost in my own head that I don’t even notice we’ve made it inside until I glance up and realize we’re in my room. Jax is already sitting on the edge of my bed, watching me with that look. That soft, worried look that tells me he knows I’m spiraling.
He reaches over, placing a hand on my knee and rubs slow, calming circles.
“Allie,” he says quietly, his voice full of remorse. “I’m so sorry.”
His expression is full of guilt and regret. Two things I hate seeing on his face, especially when tomorrow was supposed to be a fresh start. Our fresh start.
S hit! The barbecue!
“Are you sure you don’t want to come to the hotel tonight?” he asks gently. “Or I could stay here with you. Whatever you need.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s okay. I need to talk to Ana,” I say, placing my hand over his.
He gives me a small smile, eyes soft, and leans in to press a quick kiss to my lips. “Okay, love,” he murmurs. “Just promise you’ll text me if you need anything.”
I nod, trying my best to return the smile, but right now I just can’t. “I will. I promise.”
He stands and moves across the room, his footsteps muffled as he slips out without a sound.
I stay where I am, motionless, waiting. When I finally hear the soft click of the front door closing, I let out a slow breath. In through my nose. Out through my mouth. Trying to calm the tight, anxious knot that’s still twisting in my stomach.
Eventually, I stand, one hand pressing gently against my midsection as I walk toward the door. It creaks open just as Ana’s head pops in.
“Can I come in?” she asks quietly.
I nod and gesture to the empty spot beside me as I sink back onto the bed. “Yeah. Come on in.”
She crosses the room and eases down next to me, her eyes meeting mine with a soft, knowing look.
“Okay,” she says, exhaling slowly. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Why did you hide it?” She tilts her head while she studies my face.
I shrug, dropping my eyes to the floor. “To be honest? I don’t have a good excuse,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. Then I look up at her again. “At first, it was just… exciting. I thought it’d be easy to go back to our lives after and act like nothing happened.”
Before I can stop them, the tears start to fall relentlessly down my cheeks.
“I thought that if I didn’t say it out loud, it wouldn’t feel real. That I wouldn’t actually fall in love with him,” I manage to say, my voice breaking.