8. Julian
8
JULIAN
“ W here the fuck is my mate?” I roar, the words ripping through me, raw and unrestrained. My voice bounces off the walls as if even the room feels the urgency thrumming through my veins.
The door slams into the wall, the sound echoing in his office space, as I glare at the man with all the answers.
He jumps to his feet, the scent of his anger merging with mine at the blatant disrespect I’ve shown him. “Shut the fucking door.”
I slam the door and storm forward, my footsteps echoing in the near silent room. My heart is pounding, my body rigid.
He owes me answers, and I won’t be leaving until I get them. My mate needs me, and nobody can stand in my way.
“You may be my nephew, but I could have you on your ass with your heart in my hand without breaking a sweat, boy,” Adrian snarls, his eyes a bright silver, as he rounds his desk.
My pegasus doesn’t back down, instead merging forward with me, as we stand firm in front of the angry unicorn.
The tension in the room builds, the air is thick with our annoyance, our combined equestrian scents causing us to rile each other up.
I don’t care about any of this, though. Not when my mate needs me. Not when I can feel her calling me like a siren calls a man to his death.
“Where the fuck is she?” I repeat, my words more of an animalistic snarl than distinguishable.
He lets out an angry squeal, his roar aggravating my pegasus more than settling us down. The tension in the room snaps, a thread pulled too tightly for too long. My body shudders, my pegasus squealing back, as I lose control of the animal within.
My control slips, the desperation we feel to find Maeve too strong to fight. The air around me warms, thickening with my raw power, as my shift overtakes me.
Bright white feathers launch out of my back a second before I land on four feet. My wings smash into the bookshelves, knocking them to the ground, despite being mounted to the wall. This wasn’t a smooth transition, this was violent, driven by a desperation for my mate.
Her pain is ripping through me like a blade, each wave more intense and painful than the last, every echo sharp and relentless.
I can’t function.
I can’t fucking breathe .
She’s out there somewhere, hurting, and I’m fucking pathetically powerless. I’m unravelling, bit by bit, and it’s barely been a few hours.
I stomp my hooves, and whine at my uncle. If he won’t answer me, I’ll charge the fucker down.
“Julian, that’s enough!” My uncle snarls, his words merged with the power of his unicorn. I can feel the persuasion bounce off me.
Does he think I’m weak enough to fall for his tricks when my mate needs me?
My pegasus rears up, slamming our hooves into the ground with enough force to crack the marble floor. The rage, the need to hunt, to find, to save… it’s overwhelming.
Adrian moves fast, faster than I can react to. He’s in front of me in a flash, his bright silver eyes meeting my own, and he grips my muzzle. My entire body freezes, my wild eyes meeting his.
“Stop.” One word, full of command, and I freeze.
He lets me go but stays up close. My pegasus tilts his head as we watch our uncle.
“You need to shift back, now,” he says, his voice low and calm. But I can smell so much better in this form, and there’s a strong edge to his words. He’s nervous, angry, even.
For a moment, my pegasus tries to fight against his words, refusing to yield. But Adrian’s hand darts out once more and grabs our muzzle again, his power seeming to intensify.
I feel my body relaxing as my pegasus backs down and lets me take control once more. The pull of his command is strong, but it’s stronger when I don’t fight against it.
Slowly, painfully , I shift back to my human form. My body is aching, my chest heaving, as I stand in front of my uncle. His hand is now on my shoulder, and he squeezes it gently. “I don’t know what’s going on, Jules, but you’re no good to her like this.”
I nod. Each breath I take burns my lungs, my eyes stinging with the weight of my failure.
He drops his hand to his side and raises a brow at me.
I nod, or try to, my head heavy with the effort it takes just to stay in the here and now. My pegasus recedes, but I can still feel the beast lurking beneath the surface, ready to break free at the slightest hint to our mate’s safety.
Her pain has come in waves, although it’s been a constant dull ache all day today, but every so often, it spikes. If that happens when I’m here with my uncle, well, the brazen bastard has shown I won’t survive it.
Please, pretty girl, hang on for me.
I’m coming .
“What is going on?” Adrian asks, his voice softer now but still containing that unyielding authority.
“Where the fuck is Maeve?” I hiss, and he frowns, his anger simmering, rather than boiling over.
“Maeve… why do you ask?”
“She needs me,” I rasp, the words almost breaking under the weight of my fear. My pegasus whimpers alongside me, both of us clutching at the fragile thread of a bond that barely connects us to our mate.
He cocks a brow, and I can see his distrust.
“I can’t explain it, but I can feel it. She’s got a hold on me, and I’m drowning in her pain,” I hiss.
It’s agonising. My mate is in so much distress, and I don’t know how I can help her. If the small echo I am feeling is enough to knock me off my feet, to trap me so badly in its confines, then I don’t know how she’s surviving.
I don’t know where she is or who is doing this to her.
She’s alone.
My pegasus’ cries echo that of our mate’s, and being so far from her when I know she needs me is crippling me.
“That shouldn’t be possible without the bond being accepted by her,” he says, stepping closer to me.
Does he think I’m stupid? I know this. Which makes the echo that much more damning. Maeve’s chromius is in so much pain, she’s so terrified for her human and herself, that she has latched onto me and created a mental connection.
It’s fucking terrifying.
“I know,” I scream, my words echoing around the room, my own despair so easily heard. I clutch at my top, groaning. “She hasn’t accepted the bond. The call is weak, desperate.”
“She’s got more power than I thought,” he says, his eyes lighting up. I narrow my own, but he smooths out his features. “Maeve is in heat, Julian.”
I let out an agonised cry, dropping to my knees. My pegasus is screeching and whinnying, desperately crying for his mate.
“Alone?” I barely utter the word, holding my head in my hands.
“Alone,” my uncle confirms, coming closer. He places his hand on my shoulder, but I shake it off.
I can’t be touched right now.
My body is on fire, fuelled with anger and annoyance. It makes sense now, kind of. Maeve only has heats due to being a chromius, and I can’t believe I never thought about that.
How the fuck my mate with a phobia of touch could survive quarterly heats alone is beyond me.
She’s strong.
“She shouldn’t be alone,” I snarl, but I don’t know if it was me or my pegasus who uttered those words.
“I know,” he says, emitting a soothing tone that only pisses me off that much further. “But she’s stubborn, and she can’t stomach the touch she needs to safely get through her heat.”
“How can she hate it this much?” I demand, my voice cracking under the weight of it all. I force myself to meet my uncle’s gaze, and I startle, at seeing nothing but his deep concern for my mate.
The pit in my stomach grows. How can I save my mate from a fear so deep it’s rooted in her very soul?
“When Maeve was seventeen, her stepfather decided it was now his job to make her a woman.”
I frown, my blood chilling, as I let out the angriest neigh of my life. Adrian’s face darkens, his eyes flashing a dark silver, rather than their usual bright, and I know we’re in agreement of the pain that man deserves.
I slam up a wall between my pegasus and I as fast as I can, unwilling to let my very uncontrolled beast out right now.
Enough is enough. Maeve might feel our anger, and it might hurt her.
My logical words won’t soothe him, not when I know our rage is shared, stronger because of the rut, but there’s nothing else I can do.
“He brought along his trusted men and tied Maeve up, handing her to them on a silver platter. She was a child and had no idea what was going on,” he continues.
“She was brutalised that night, and when she was brought to us, she was still not eighteen. She was a child. A victim. She was broken, Julian, by what they did to her.”
I snarl, my hands shaking, my pegasus demanding blood.
“She survived hell that night, and we’re still trying to help her work through the damage they caused,” my uncle says, coming to sit down next to me. He looks out the windows opposite, rather than making eye contact with me.
I don’t blame him. I’m ready to rip his head from his shoulders for being the fucker to deliver this news to me. All this time, my mate has been living with the pain of what some fucking monster did to her.
“She’s terrified, full of mistrust, and she’s reluctant to believe anyone cares for her. Her touch phobia is something we’re unable to work on at the moment, and she’s struggling to open up in therapy.
“We’re doing what we can, but your mate… she’s broken.”
I snap my head up to look at him, and some of the anger fades away as I take in his words. Is that really how he sees her?
As a broken little girl who can’t function?
When I look at Maeve, I see a survivor. A woman who knows her own mind and isn’t afraid to voice her needs. If people listened, if my uncle actually fucking listened, maybe she’d be able to rely on him for the support she needs.
“She’s not broken, Uncle, she’s a survivor. She’s put her pieces back together the only way she can,” I say quietly. “She’s beautiful on the outside, but on the inside, she’s been shattered and with no true support, she’s relying on plasters and wet paper towels.”
“No true support?” he snaps, glaring at me. “I’ve fought tooth and fucking nail to give that girl everything I can.”
“And yet, six years later, she’s still alone,” I say, shaking my head as I clench my fists. I might not be able to kill her stepfather yet, but I can help Maeve. I can start doing right by my mate in a way the other people in her life haven’t bothered.
My pegasus whines in agreement, and the accord has been made. We’re going to be the kind of mate that Maeve needs. We might not be the mate she wants—because that girl would rather burn alive than accept a mate—but we will give her every single thing she needs to thrive.
She might never touch me and ignite our bond, but her chromius is latching on anyway, giving me pathetic scraps. I’ll take that. I can live a lifetime like this.
“What you’re doing isn’t enough,” I say calmly. “You’ve not helped her, you’ve not given her the safety that her chromius will crave.”
“I know.” He shakes his head, stretching his legs out like I have. “I’m doing what I can, but I think her shield is too strong for me to penetrate.” His gaze is pointed, but I won’t confirm anything to him.
He might care for Maeve, but I don’t think we’re on the same page where it comes to my mate. I can’t trust him.
“She hates me,” I say simply.
“I know.” He nudges me. “Explain what you’ve been feeling.”
I share the feelings that I get from Maeve and the reaction they’re causing in me. The anger, the short temper, the urge to find her and nest with her.
“You’re not in a full rut,” he says once I’m finished. “But you’re feeling the urges. Her chromius has latched onto the potential of a bond with you, and that may be good, or it may not, but right now, you need to keep away from people and do your best to keep your agitation in check.”
“How the fuck am I meant to do that? Every wave, comes with a new level of agony for her, and it’s fucking hard to ignore.”
“Exercise, shift, do whatever you can to control your anger.”
“I don’t know how to do that,” I whisper, banging my head on the wall behind me. The drywall cracks beneath my skull, and Adrian sighs.
He’s acting as if I’m being problematic on purpose. As if I’ve decided to start losing control and being unable to function just for the fun of it.
This loss of control is foreign to me and extremely unsettling. My pegasus and I have always been a solid team, able to balance and be the harmony that soothes the more dominant and aggressive members of our family.
But now, that harmony is slipping, and the balance is tilting. I’m not just losing control—I’m losing sight of myself.
“Call your brother,” Adrian says, startling me, because it’s almost as if he heard my thoughts.
“My brother?” I demand, sitting up properly. My pegasus whines in my mind, wanting to connect with Hadrian, but my brows draw together.
Is this a test?
Is Adrian bringing this up as a way to judge my loyalty to the family?
“Hadrian,” Adrian confirms. “Who else would I have meant?”
“I just… I didn’t?—”
Adrian turns to face me properly, crossing his legs together. “What’s wrong with you and Hadrian?”
“Nothing, per se,” I murmur, not able to meet my uncle’s eyes. “We’re just… estranged. Mostly.”
“Mostly?” There’s an edge to his tone that I don’t understand. “What has my sister done now?”
“Sibling drama isn’t a good kind of drama.” I stretch my legs out, ignoring the whining from my pegasus, as I try to act unbothered. Adrian’s poking at this too much.
I won’t give him the satisfaction of wiping my sweaty palms onto my trousers. I won’t let him see that he’s affecting me.
There’s a longing from my pegasus that I shut down immediately.
“At least you’ve got a brother,” my uncle mutters, his eyes still trained on the side of my face. “I’m the baby to a bunch of—forget it. What has my darling sister said that’s caused this rift between you both?”
I bite my lip as my pegasus rages at me. My parents are good parents, even with Hadrian’s… problems.
We’re in the limelight with being Adrian’s immediate family. He’s the current head of the Tribunal and has been serving this council longer than I’ve been alive. Our terms as a councilman are twenty-five years, and he only served one before he was elected as the head.
That was unheard of before Adrian, but he’s a powerful man who was raised by two well-known, vicious politicians. Unlike my mum and my aunties, he was groomed for this position from birth, and he’s fucking good at it.
But living a life as the nephew of Adrian Graves comes with a price. We’re on show. Every move we make, every decision or opinion we share, is scrutinised. My parents have demanded perfection. They’ve never let us forget it, either.
“We’re fine. Don’t worry about it,” I say, shaking my head.
He purses his lips but nods. “I’m here if you want to talk, Julian. You forget, I lived with my sister for almost as long as you have. Hadrian’s a good man, with his own path ahead of him. The two of you shouldn’t let anything get in the way of your bond.”
A good man? He’s absolutely got to be testing me, here. All my life, I’ve been raised to be the good twin, the better twin. I had to strive to be the man Hadrian would never be.
“Why did you choose me and not Hadrian for this task?” I ask, not wanting to talk about this anymore. My tone is laced with bitterness, but my mind is so loud and unsettled as we take in the authentic words of my uncle.
He and my cousin Lucifer aren’t on good footing at all. Luc is a few years older than Hadrian and I, and the news of his estrangement and disinheritance was shared with me before I even started high school.
My parents told us that it was because my cousin was an imp. That he was dangerous and dark, and my uncle couldn’t have that kind of creature tainting the purity of our legacy or damaging our family line.
Hadrian never believed them, but I had no reason to doubt the truth they shared. If I wanted to remain as part of the family, then I needed to be good—perfect, even.
And to keep Hadrian safe, to keep him in the life of luxury he’s become accustomed to, I had to be good enough for us both. Because where I’m a pure pegasus, Hadrian is not.
His fur is darker than the night sky, his wings more intense than those of the devil, and his eyes… they’re more evil than that of our imp cousin.
Hadrian and I are like night and day, like good and bad… like heaven and hell. He’s aggressive, twisted, dark… but he’s my brother, and no matter what, I love him. I won’t let him suffer, even if our parents can’t see his worth. I do.
Keeping my distance from him has kept him safe and let him live the life he’s wanted.
This is the first time in my entire life I’ve spent time away from my parents. They’ve given me everything, and I’ve had an amazing childhood. I was homeschooled by the best tutors in the community, I’ve socialised with the elite of our society, and I’ve never once longed for anything.
Except, a better relationship with my brother.
“I never once chose you over your brother,” Adrian says with his brows drawn together, his tone as confused as I feel. “Hadrian is helping me, too, Jules. He’s just doing something a little different to you.”
I frown, my heart stuttering. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“Why would I tell you? You don’t need to know everything that I’m doing, Julian,” he says, and there’s an almost warning edge to his words. He’s replaced the caring uncle persona with that of the head of the Tribunal of the Chosen.
It’s not enjoyable after the candid conversations we’ve been having, and I’m not happy he’s shut me off when it’s a family matter. My pegasus bristles at the implication. I understand it, kind of, but that’s not the way that I want to be doing this kind of business.
“Maybe because what we’re doing—what I am doing—is treason.”
He rolls his eyes. “I won’t let you go to prison, son.”
“Prison?” I scoff, anger filling me as I look at my uncle. “I’m worried about dying .”
He shrugs, the political mask still firmly in place. “Death is an inevitability. I’m doing what I can to keep appearances up and to protect everyone. You need to do your part, quietly, and keep me informed of what you find. Everyone else is doing their parts, let’s not kick up a fuss.”
“What do you mean everyone else? You’re working with more than just Hades and I?” I ask as my pegasus sits up in my mind. He’s just as interested in what my uncle has to say as I am.
My uncle brought me in to help him with this special project of his. He can’t trust anyone on the Tribunal because some of them are dirty, and he doesn’t know how far the corruption is spread. It’s smart because the damage these people are causing is incomprehensible.
My uncle thinks that mythical shifters are in danger, and the culprits are the very people who have sworn to protect us. He’s been hearing rumours that prompted him to look deeper, and what he’s found is fucking terrifying.
There’s council members who are working to control the mythical population and bend us to their will.
They control those who are close to extinction.
They decide whether a line dies out… or if the line is going to be merged into another.
They’re single-handedly messing with the lives of those on the compound, but worse than that, they’re affecting the livelihood of shifters across the entire world.
I’ve found at least two cases of permanent extinction that can be traced back to one of the councilmen almost a century before I was born. He was a prey shifter, powerful enough to become part of the Tribunal, but not without his weaknesses.
It’s coincidental that the only two types of creatures who could harm him in existence were wiped out before his first term. In less than twenty-five years, this man killed two very powerful predator families and removed their ability to continue their lines just because they were a risk to his own survival.
It’s scary and goes against everything a shifter stands for.
We want to preserve our kind, to stop as many species from dying out as possible. For those with animals still in the wild, it’s even more important to keep our cousins alive.
But for people like my Maeve and my uncle, where they’ve been eradicated and they’re truly the last in existence, it’s imperative that their lines continue.
The Tribunal, they’re playing with fire. If the public knew—if anyone knew—there’d be blood in the streets. This isn’t just corruption, it’s a time bomb, and we’re all standing on the edge of it.
Nobody would be safe, and who better to target than Adrian Graves, the face of the community?
The council members are playing with fate in more ways than just one because they’re not just wiping out lines. There’s belief of them forcibly arranging matings to try and increase the chances of continuing certain lines.
Between powerful shifters going missing and the increased number of women dying in childbirth as they give birth to new types of shifters, my uncle is scared.
He’s not in the position yet to launch a full enquiry, not until he has facts to back it up and a finger to accurately point, but we think that people are being forcibly bred and often losing their lives as punishment for not falling in line.
That’s where I come in. I’m working in the archives, specifically searching for any of the records that can help him piece things together and form his case.
What is Hadrian doing out there? Who else is in on this? The questions churn in my mind, each one a thorn digging deeper into my already frayed nerves.
Hades and I might not be in the best of places, but now that I’ve found Maeve, he’s going to share everything he finds with me, too. I can’t take any risks where my mate is concerned, and I know my brother will agree.
The realisation hits me like a freight train, and I look at my uncle in a new light. She’s quite high profile at the moment with Adrian as her legal guardian because it adds a layer of protection that she isn’t even aware she needs.
As a chromius, Maeve has the ability to not only shift into the form of her bonded mate, but the children she births will be full mythicals. Over the years, our lines have been watered down, and we’ve lost a lot of the original power, features, and even gifts that we’d have been awarded.
But as my mate, Maeve is the key to the survival of my species. Every child, every life she brings into this world, would be solidifying the pegasus origins.
This puts Maeve into an extremely dangerous position because if anyone else discovered this… I let out an angry snarl.
No, fuck taking any risks with my precious mate. It’s my job to protect her. I won’t ever let her be used that way.
Not by me, not by our families, and especially not by councilmen who have no fucking say in what my mate does with her body.
If Adrian isn’t going to be honest with me, then it looks like our goals are no longer aligned. The thought of Maeve, vulnerable and alone, twists my gut in a pain so profound I can’t ignore it.
I’ll protect her, even if it means turning my back on everything I thought was needed. I might be a light pegasus and my coat might be pure.
But the only person who needs to remain pure is my gorgeous mate.
I’m willing to darken my soul if it protects her from reliving her own personal hell.