10. Julian
10
JULIAN
M y phone rings, and I pull it out of my pocket absentmindedly as I continue searching for this document amongst the archives.
Eldenwood has been a naughty guy, and I found some damning evidence on Friday that would go wonders towards building this case.
I told my uncle about it immediately, but now, the paperwork has gone—the evidence has gone. I can’t find the document I had found, and I only managed to copy down the first three pages.
It makes no fucking sense. As far as I’m aware, the only people on the compound right now with access to these archives are me, Maeve, and my uncle.
Glenda’s permission has been removed as she undergoes her disciplinary actions for her treatment of Maeve. I hope she gets fired, as it’ll be the cherry on top of my own punishment. I’m subjecting her to financial and political ruin, but my plans take time to grow.
Maeve’s been in heat and is currently hospitalised, meaning she’s in absolutely no position to come raiding the archives for a random document she’s… oh .
I wonder if she’s already read it. If she knows what it may have contained.
Potentially an option to explore.
“Hello?” I say as I put the phone to my ear after seeing my uncle’s name. What could be more important than what I’m doing right now?
He’s the one who assigned me this task, and he knows for a fact that I’m at work.
“Julian, I need you to come down to—” my uncle’s frantic, but I don’t have the time for dealing with another one of his crises right now.
I’m still pissed at his treatment of Maeve, at the secrets and lies he’s been keeping.
A flicker of irritation fills me as I snap. “I’m in the middle of something. Can this wait?”
“Maeve… Maeve’s struggling. So, no. We need you here to see if the bond her chromius has managed to form might help her.”
My heart skips a beat, and my irritation immediately evaporates. Just her name alone sends a jolt of urgency through me.
Maeve needs me.
She’s needed me for days now, and this is the first time I can help, I’m allowed to help.
My pegasus lets out an angry snort in my head that we’re not already there. I can’t blame him. I feel the exact same way.
I reassure my uncle that I’ll be there soon and get everything put away as fast as I can. The moment I leave the library, I shift into my pegasus and launch off the ground.
The wind rushes beneath my wings, a familiar and comforting force, as I utilise it to my advantage to get to Maeve faster. The air is cool and crisp, the kind that would bite at your skin if you were in human form, but feels exhilarating and fresh against my coat.
My pegasus neighs, the determined beat of our wings echoing the urgency we feel.
Our mate is struggling, and she needs us.
We won’t fail her. We won’t join the ranks of everyone else in her life.
We’ll be better.
I drop to the ground outside the embassy building, my hooves slamming into the earth with a resounding thud. People scatter, casting dirty looks my way, but I ignore them.
Let them stare. I don’t fucking care about any of them.
My mate needs me.
I shift back into my human form without breaking stride and head straight for Adrian’s office. The people on the reception desk rise to their feet, trying to get me to stop, but I refuse.
They know who I am, and they should know better than to try and stop me.
I push open his office door, and my eyes immediately find the blonde who holds my heart in her hands.
She’s in the corner of the room, curled up in a ball, sobbing. The sight sends a pang of pain through my chest.
What the hell has happened?
I can’t see properly what she’s wearing, but she’s a very pretty crier and isn’t too dishevelled.
My aunt is by her side, hesitant, with her own tears dripping down her face as she softly murmurs to my mate.
She’s trying, desperately, to soothe the chromius within. Doesn’t she see that she’s harming Maeve that much more?
My eyes dart around the room, searching for answers or a reason as to why my mate is in this state.
My pegasus is snarling and hissing, and the only thing keeping him at bay is the knowledge that she’s terrified.
My uncle is standing near his desk, his face etched with concern. But otherwise, the room is empty, and there’s no obvious threat to my mate.
So why the fuck is she like this?
“Help her,” my uncle hisses.
My pegasus pushes forward, merging with me, as we move over to our mate’s side. She quietens down, her sobs stopping, and I feel pride radiating through me.
We did that.
She might deny our bond, but we helped her.
Helen scoots back, and Adrian moves to stand and comfort his mate.
“Breathe,” I command, keeping my tone quiet but firm.
It’s easy for a natural leader like me.
My pegasus snorts, and I roll my eyes.
Maeve’s breathing becomes more erratic. Fuck.
“Come on, Maeve, breathe for me.”
She tries to open her pretty blue eyes, but they’re bloodshot and water immediately. She’s not comfortable here. Something has caused this breakdown.
And when I find out who…
“Copy me,” I say, desperate to reach over and touch her, to cuddle her close, to let her feel the safety I can deliver.
To let her feel how my chest moves, to copy me, and to have that skin-to-skin connection.
“Don’t touch her,” Adrian warns across the mind link as if he read my fucking mind.
Prick.
Does he think I’m stupid?
I start doing boxed breathing, and I watch as she imitates me. She can’t see it, but she can hear it. She can feel the calm happening, I can see the changes within her as she listens and lets her body relax.
“Good girl,” I say as she starts breathing properly on her own. “You’re doing so well.”
A frown flutters across her face, the pain I can smell pouring from her causing my nerves to light up in fury. Someone has hurt her. Terrified her.
My nerves are crackling, my pegasus raging inside me. Once she’s safe and secure, we’re going hunting.
I can’t sit by and let this go unpunished, no matter the offender.
“Good girl? How long?” she croaks out, her voice hoarse and full of pain.
I’m seething, and I have to bite down on my cheek to stop myself from responding. I know my answer won’t help her.
“Fifteen minutes,” Adrian says, taking over for me. I don’t move, despite his prompting, because I need to stay here by her side. “Are you able to stand, Maeve?”
“I’m fine here,” she says, closing her eyes, resting against the wall a little.
I don’t understand what’s happening here. But before I can quiz her or my uncle and get the answers I deserve, the door flies open, and one of my uncle’s goons comes rushing in.
Maeve’s scream is so loud, so full of terror, that my heart shatters. I freeze as my mate completely and utterly breaks in front of me.
This is raw panic, raw fear. The sugar in her honeyed scent sours, and I jump to my feet.
Adrian shoves me to the side, and I watch in confusion as he injects my mate with something. She goes quiet, then flops within seconds. He caps the needle, and Helen deposits it for him into a yellow bin.
My legs are trembling, my hands shaking, and I’m torn. Do I try to harm the man who scared her?
Do I try and attack Adrian who dosed her against her permission?
Do I find some gloves to try and touch my mate without igniting our bond?
How do I help? How do I protect her when she’s so fragile?
My pegasus snarls, pushing against the barrier in our mind, desperate to knock it down and take over our body.
He can’t be calmed, he can’t be reasoned with.
My aunt leads the man out, the apologies clear on his face, but I don’t fucking care. He’s on my list to deal with once I’ve figured out the main reason my mate is like this.
She’s full of problems, but that’s okay. I will solve them, and then we’ll be able to live out happily ever after.
But first…
“What the fuck was that?” I roar at my uncle, my hands shaking with fury as I stop him from reaching for Maeve.
She’s slumped on the floor, looking so vulnerable, and he… he drugged her. The man I’ve looked up to, the man I admire, the most powerful shifter in the country… I snarl in disgust.
The one time I’m here to help, and this is what happens? What the fuck does he do when I’m not here?
My pegasus snarls within me, sharing my rage, easily amplifying it now that we have a clear target. How dare he? How dare he take this moment from me?
How fucking dare he do that to my vulnerable mate?
There’s more we could have done to soothe her, rather than inject my mate with some fucking sleeping drug.
“Do not touch her,” he commands, and I freeze. Anger fills me, my pegasus and I not liking this direct command that goes completely against our needs.
Unlike my cousin, and the rest of the dark ones that taint our family, I have always respected my uncle and the good he does.
But right now, he’s not acting like a leader. He’s not doing what is best for me or Maeve. He thinks he knows best.
But he fucking doesn’t.
“I would never hurt her.” The implication is clear in my words.
“Step back, Julian,” he warns, standing in front of my mate protectively as if I am the one that is going to hurt her. As if I’m the problem here.
“I don’t—” I start, anger lacing my words, as my pegasus and I struggle to control ourselves. Our mate is in danger. She’s vulnerable right now and needs our protection.
We need to get to her. We need to help her.
Why is this pathetic fucking man trying to stop me? He’s the danger, he’s the problem.
But my feet won’t move, my body unable to obey my demands when he’s commanded it otherwise.
“She is a chromius,” my uncle says quietly. “You claim she is your mate, and you know what that means. You can’t touch her or the bond will ignite.”
Let it , my pegasus seems to cry.
But I know that can’t happen. That would make me just like them.
I won’t ever take from my mate.
But I wasn’t going to touch her. I wasn’t going to risk igniting the bond.
Does he think he knows Maeve better than I do? She’s my mate. Mine.
I can take care of her. I can help her. Why can’t he see that?
He groans, muttering about insolent children, as he rubs his temples.
Dickhead.
“Initiating the bond without permission will not be a good thing,” Helen says, having just re-entered the room. “It won’t make Maeve trust you. In fact, it’ll only be worse for everyone involved.”
I narrow my eyes at the woman, hating how she thinks I’m being stupid and unable to put my mate first.
Is that the kind of person they think I am? That I’m too selfish or idiotic to put my mate first?
“Trust your aunt, son. If she woke up and there was a bond after we drugged her…” Adrian trails off with a small sigh.
“Not only would we lose the tiny bit of trust we have with her, but I know for a fact that Maeve would reject you and sever the bond. No shame, no upset, no regret . She’d do it because she was violated in her sleep, against her will,” she says.
The again is unsaid but hits me right in the gut. My pegasus is furious, and honestly, so am I.
She’d reject me. She’d leave me. She’d be alone in every sense of the word.
“Let me get her past you,” my uncle says, and I step back, unable to say or do anything else but watch.
I should be the one to help her, to be there, to support her.
And I’m pissed off that they’re not letting me.
My uncle lifts my mate into his arms, cradling her close, settling her against his body. She looks tiny in his arms, and my rage simmers beneath the surface at the selfish way my uncle is acting.
He bends and kisses her forehead, and I can see the pain in his eyes at the state she’s in.
He loves her.
It’s clear as day.
So then, how the fuck can he act the way he has been? How can he have spent years watching her wither away and struggle without taking accountability and fixing it?
How can the man who leads an entire country let his ward, his only ward, have needs go so badly unmet that it borders on abuse?
I can’t look at him the same way. I can’t see the man I used to trust and admire. In his place, I see a failure.
“Can you call—” Adrian starts, but Helen cuts him off with a nod.
“Already on it.” She walks over to his desk and dials a number, as Adrian gestures for me to follow him, and I do. I won’t leave this man alone with my mate if I can help it.
“You’ve got questions.” My uncle sounds so calm, and it’s pissing me off.
Can’t he see how fucked up this situation is? How fucked up he is?
“I do,” I reply, noticing the lack of people in the corridors. Is that a purposeful command Adrian has given to protect Maeve’s privacy or is it a coincidence?
“Ask one.” He pushes a door open only a few doors down from his office, and I frown. It’s a lavish bedroom, and one he’s familiar enough in, as he moves immediately over to the bed. The sheets smell nice and fresh, a soft lavender with a sugary vanilla.
He gently lowers my unconscious mate into the bed, and then he pulls the very thin duvet up over her. It won’t do much to keep her warm, despite the obvious luxury to it.
“What is this room?” I ask, looking around properly. Outside of the dark mahogany four-poster bed there’s numerous antique furnishings that match the aesthetic.
The bedroom exudes refined luxury, and I wonder if my mum was the one to decorate since it matches her tastes perfectly. Deep burgundy walls, and subtle gold accents dotted around.
The plush gold carpet would feel amazing against my feet, and the entire aesthetic is softened by the warm glow of the chandelier.
I don’t understand why this is here, since it’s so clearly a room for a female. A high-end one, at that.
Someone without my eye wouldn’t be able to tell how much was spent, but it’s clear in the carvings of the wood and the quality of the bedsheets.
This is a room for a spoilt woman.
But, surely, Adrian wouldn’t be bringing Maeve into someone’s room if that’s the kind of person they are.
So is this… her room? Is this the kind of person my mate is?
I shrug. It makes sense, if a little surprising. Adrian’s not bothering to tend to her emotional needs, so he’s clearly throwing things at her instead.
Good thing I can afford to keep her in this lifestyle.
“God, you are a fool,” Adrian says with a groan. He drags two chairs over to the bed and sits down, raising his brow at me. “I give you permission to ask me whatever you like, and you focus on the room we’re in?”
“I just wonder if it’s Maeve’s, and she really is this spoilt or if we’re going to be attacked by whoever owns it,” I mutter.
He scoffs. “Fucking hell, Jules. Get your head on straight.”
“Fine. Who the fuck gave you permission to drug my mate?”
“I gave myself permission, Julian. Your mate has an anxiety disorder and severe PTSD. She can’t be touched and still struggles to ground herself when it comes to a triggering topic, so I do what’s best for her in the moments where she becomes a risk to herself.”
“Where did you get the drugs?” I ask.
“A doctor.”
I cross my arms, leaning against the bed frame. My pegasus likes that despite not being allowed to touch Maeve, we’re both touching the bed. We’re still connected.
“How often do you do this to her?”
He rolls his eyes but answers nonetheless. “It varies based on her moods and needs. The first year she was here, quite often. Weekly, fortnightly, maybe. She’s a risk to herself in those moments, and it was the only way we could help without triggering her further.”
“And now?” I ask with a sneer.
He thinks he’s doing her a favour by constantly drugging her out of her panic? Surely, letting her learn how to bring herself out of the panic is what they should be aiming for?
“The last time before today was three months ago.”
“What happened three months ago?” I demand, my heart stuttering.
“None of your business.”
“What triggered her today?”
“None of your business,” he repeats as the door opens and my aunt walks in. She moves straight to Adrian’s side, sitting on the chair next to him. To my surprise, she reaches under the duvet and takes Maeve’s hand in hers.
“What are you doing?” I demand, edging closer. “You told me not to touch her?—”
“Because you will ignite a bond that she cannot bear,” my uncle says, draping his arm around his mate’s shoulders. “Helen won’t be doing that.”
“You mentioned that she’d feel as if I violated her.”
As if me , her fated mate, could ever violate her. But these two random people, who my mate hates , aren’t violating her by touching her whilst she’s unconscious?
I’m the better person here. I’m her mate, and from the sound of things, the only one truly taking her needs into account.
She’s mine.
And this behaviour is disgusting.
“Yes,” my uncle says with a nod. “She would.”
“And this touching you’re doing, Aunt, isn’t the same thing?” I ask, waving my hands at the unfairness of it. It feels invasive, manipulative even, as if they’re using it for their own gain.
“Of course, it is,” my aunt says softly, cutting off whatever argument my uncle was about to make. The same softness that used to calm me, now grates on me. There’s something unsettling in how careful and controlled her tone is, as if she’s rehearsed this explanation a thousand times.
“But we’ve bonded with her chromius, Julian. She recognises our animals as parents, as the closest thing she has, anyway. We’ve protected her, sheltered her, and done our best to help her for the last six years. We’ve not left, no matter how much she’s pushed us away, and more than that, we’ve continuously put the effort in to try.
“To her chromius, who thrives under touch and connection… Maeve’s aversions, her trauma, it is the worst thing that could happen to a shifter like her. Maeve is strong, but she’s also weak. I’m doing my best to strengthen and to support whilst I can, without harming the girl inside.”
That last part rings false to me. If she truly cared about not harming Maeve, why do her words feel like a knife in my gut? The way she frames it is as if Maeve’s chromius matters more than Maeve herself.
“I take these moments where she isn’t able to be hurt,” my aunt continues. “But her chromius can be helped. Because I can’t leave the shifter to wither away and die when I know that it would be the thing that costs us Maeve.”
Something clicks. It’s always been about control. They’re wrapping their actions in concern, in love , but they’re afraid of losing her. Not just losing Maeve, no, they’re afraid to lose the shifter within her.
“So, if taking these moments where Maeve can’t feel pain or distress helps them live a longer life, then I’ll do it. I don’t care if you think I’m violating her, and I know for a fact Maeve will agree. But in this one instance, I know what is best for her.”
Her voice wavers and she sniffles, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her dress. For a moment, she looks fragile, but the way she gazes at Maeve with such intense love, cuts off any argument I could make.
It’s suffocating. I wonder if Maeve can ever even breathe under the weight of it.
I clearly don’t understand the relationship between them, but I know they’re wrong. They’re doing so much to damage the trust she’s placed in them that it’s clear why Maeve seems to hate Adrian.
My throat burns, a bitter feeling churning in my stomach, as I mull their words over.
“You see her as your child,” I say slowly, looking at the way they’re doting on Maeve, their hands resting possessively on her.
“Of course, we do,” my uncle says with an exaggerated eye roll. “Our animals bonded the day she was brought in.”
“That’s not how it works.” I frown, the pressure in my chest tightening. “There’s no bond between parent and child.”
“Of course, there is,” Adrian says. “Sure, it’s not the same as a mate bond or a pack bond, but it’s there, and we can sense it. We love Maeve, even if she refuses to see it.”
I shake my head, refusing to believe that. I don’t have a bond with my parents, not really. I love them, but there’s no deeper connection there. Hell, I’ve got a stronger connection to Adrian than I do my parents.
He’s clearly got no idea what he’s talking about.
“She’s not yours to love,” I say instead.
“You’d deny your mate people who love her?” he asks.
Would I deny people who pretend to care about my mate but won’t actually put her or her needs first access to my mate? Absolutely.
I roll my eyes, wanting to deflect from this. It makes me feel sick, but I don’t want this confrontation right now. “She doesn’t need you to love her, when she has me.”
Adrian and Helen exchange looks, and their silent conversation is one that completely goes over my head.
“I’m glad you feel that way, but Maeve needs people who love her surrounding her,” Helen says, gently. “And Julian, your wants do not ever come above Maeve’s needs.”
My wants might not, but theirs absolutely do. They don’t care about my mate, her needs, or the things they could do to make her life easier. They don’t care about her when it inconveniences them.
“And if you want to be a good mate, you’ll learn that,” my uncle says quietly. “But the doctor has just arrived, so it’s best if you go.”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I won’t be leaving until I know exactly what’s wrong with my mate and how to help her.”
“She won’t want you here to hear this information,” Helen says as gently as she can. “Trust me, Jules, this will only upset her further.”
“My mate is not going to be happy with any of this,” I sneer. “She’s not going to be happy knowing that I know of her history. She’s not happy knowing we’re mates. She’s going to be furious that her chromius has attached herself to me, even that tiny little bit.
“She’s going to be furious that you brought me here, after all the shit you’re already pulling. I’ve crossed every single line my mate could ever have, but I will not be leaving until I know how I can help her.
“She responded to me in this state, and if you want me gone, you better remove me yourself.”
The mated pair share a glance, but I ignore them. I don’t give a fuck about their feelings. Maeve is the priority.
She’s my mate, the woman I will grow to love.
My pegasus whines at me, his love for his mate and her animal already solidified, but I ignore him.
I can be patient, I will be patient.
“We brought you here to help her,” Adrian says, his quiet words carrying through the air like a dagger straight to my heart.
I fucking tried.
“This is helping her,” I say instead.
I’m not going to pick a fight with Adrian. I know I can’t win.
But I will be doing everything in my power to get my mate the freedom she’s demanded and get her to the Phoenix Pride.
Hadrian has ties to that pride and can be there and protect her from afar, whilst we work on the problems with the Tribunal.
Once that’s wrapped up, the only real enemy left to handle is my uncle.
He’s toxic, negligent, and downright dangerous when it comes to Maeve, and I won’t allow him to remain her guardian any longer than is necessary.
The battle to save Maeve’s safety is on, and nothing will stand in my way—not even her.