Chapter 5
5
The taxi pulled up to the Slug an hour before last orders. Ben having gone home to see his wife, it had been down to her and Tyler to corral Sharon into the car. Which was probably just as well, because the energy between the two of them was positively crackling. Amber had been zapped with a shock when she touched the cab door to get out, and she was pretty sure it was the air around them sensing the tension between them.
‘Ouch,’ she yelped, yanking her hand back as Tyler helped Sharon to the pavement.
‘What?’ he asked, his concerned gaze snapping to her.
‘Electric shock,’ she laughed, reaching back in to grab her bag. It was vibrating and, when she pulled her phone out, her face dropped.
‘I need a little coffee,’ Sharon hiccupped.
‘No shit,’ Tyler laughed, propping her up against the lamppost as he paid the driver. ‘I’ll get Mary to put the kettle on.’
Amber held up her phone. ‘I’ll be there in a minute, okay?’
She waited until they were inside to answer.
‘Bradley. ’
‘Hi.’
‘Hello.’ She toed at a tuft of grass growing in a pavement crack.
‘How have you been? I haven’t heard from you.’
‘That’s how break-ups work,’ she quipped. ‘Did you not read that part of the manual?’
He laughed awkwardly. ‘Er, no. I guess I probably should have. Listen, I wondered if we could talk.’
Wow. The irony.
‘About what?’
‘Us. I don’t like how we left things.’
‘Well, we broke up. I don’t think there’s anything left to say really. Nothing’s changed, has it?’
‘Well, no – but… could we meet up? I could come over.’
Amber looked at the Slug, full of the usual regulars. ‘Er, no, I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
‘Tomorrow then. I have some things I want to say. I was a bit hasty the other night. You caught me off guard, babe. Please?’
‘I don’t know, Bradley.’
‘Please. Ten minutes. I could come over to the Slug tomorrow? For me?’
‘Bradley, you already gave me an answer. I really don’t think there’s any point.’
‘Will you think about it at least? I’m sorry. You took me by surprise, that’s all. I didn’t really think things through. I just want to see you, Amb. Come on.’ Why now? Why had it taken him days to bother to call me? He dumped me, he made his choice. I was moving on, damn it! She thought of her life, behind those doors. The life she wanted. One he had already walked away from.
‘Come on? Brad, I don’t know what this is about, but it’s too late.’
‘Too late? What do you mean, too late? We haven’t been broken up a week! Don’t you at least owe me a conversation?’
A conversation? That was all she’d wanted to do for weeks. Months if she was honest. Sharon was in her head, the words had stuck in her grey matter hard and fast.
‘I’m not sure I do, no. If you wanted to stay with me, you should have tried harder. If a man wants you, he shows you. Goodnight.’
‘Amber, come on! I?—’
She cut off the call and headed inside. Walking into the warmth of the Slug, she was assaulted by the voices of the patrons around her. The familiar smells and sounds felt so comforting her eyes filled with tears. She belonged here, in a place like this. The second she’d walked through the doors, she’d felt less alone than she had standing outside listening to Bradley’s attempts at talking her round. Blinking rapidly, she pushed a smile onto her face, and her ex out of her mind.
Sitting at the end of the bar, perched on a stool that looked like a kiddie seat under his large, brooding form, was Tyler. His eyes followed her as her feet moved to him automatically. Why is my heart beating out of my chest? Why do I feel calmer, just by seeing him? This thing, it hasn’t always been there, right? She felt elated and pissed off all at the same time. She couldn’t get Bradley to walk through the door when they were together, and here Tyler was. Again. Gazing at her as if he knew something she didn’t and was waiting for her to catch on. Breaking eye contact, she took in the busy bar. It was a typical Sunday and there was a steady stream of people waiting to be served. ‘Where’s Sharon?’
Tyler nodded his head over to the window, where Sharon was sitting with a guy from the construction site. They looked pretty cosy and Sharon was laughing at something he said. He had his arm around her, his nose close to her neck as he spoke into her ear. She looked different to normal. Like she’d melted into the man cradling her. She watched him lift a mug to her lips. ‘She’s fine,’ Tyler rumbled. ‘Mary made her some strong coffee. I think he was waiting for her to come back. ’
‘Good for her.’ Amber smiled. Maybe her ice queen love ’em and leave ’em friend was mellowing. It was nice to see, but the tenderness between them was a little hard to watch. Being single seemed to amplify every happy couple in her orbit. It made her heart clench.
‘Bradley coming over?’ Tyler’s voice pulled her attention back to him. ‘I’m guessing it was him on the phone.’
‘Nope, and yeah, it was.’ She sighed, pulling up the empty stool next to him and dropping her bag at her feet. ‘What ya drinking?’ She was already reaching for his glass, tipping the contents straight down her throat and feeling the burn as it went down.
‘Neat whisky,’ he smirked as she pounded at her chest. ‘Take it easy!’
‘Needed it,’ she rasped out.
‘I bet. Take it you didn’t sort things out then.’
‘He said he wants to talk. I didn’t think it was a good idea. No point.’
‘Right.’ Tyler didn’t sound convinced. ‘Two more, Mary, please.’ He called to her as the older barmaid came over. Mary gave him one of her mothering smiles and turned to the optics.
‘There’s a queue,’ Amber teased. ‘What is it with you and the ladies around here, eh?’ She lifted a finger and swirled it in the air. ‘One bit of Williams charm and they all fall at your feet.’ Her smile died when she saw his stony face staring back at her.
‘Not all of them,’ he muttered. ‘It wouldn’t matter anyway.’
Amber felt her throat dry out. ‘Of course it wouldn’t. I forgot, you don’t do relationships, do you?’
Mary brought their drinks and Tyler handed her a note. She practically fanned herself with it before getting back to the others. Amber was mid-sip of her whisky when his voice rumbled again.
‘What makes you say that? I’ve had relationships. ’
‘Not while I’ve known you,’ she countered. ‘You shun every date we try to set you up on.’
‘Doesn’t mean I’m not relationship material. Just means I know what I want.’
When their eyes met, that damn spark fizzed again. Like an electric current arcing between them unseen. She took another sip, turning to stare at the back of the bar.
‘So, are you going to talk to him?’
The huff burst from her chest before she could stop it. ‘Nope. I think I’ve done enough talking for the both of us. Didn’t get me anywhere, did it?’ She tapped her finger on the side of her glass, running her tip along the curved edge as she remembered what she’d felt hearing his voice. Nothing. No butterflies, no stab of regret. Just the familiar burn of something in her chest. Like indigestion from a bad burrito. ‘To be honest, I have no idea what he wants any more. I don’t even know why he bothered to call.’
‘What about what you want? Does that even count?’ His voice was strained, as if he was trying to calm himself down. ‘He was an asshole to you, but I also know he can spin a good tale when he wants something.’
‘I don’t really want to talk about it, Tyler. I can’t.’ She forced herself to meet his eyes. ‘Not with you.’
His brows shot up, his face growing cautious. ‘Why not me?’
‘I…’ She watched his eyes search hers. What was she going to say? That she’d started comparing Bradley to Tyler, and found him lacking? How Bradley out there, stressing out and trying to build his future, had actually turned her off? How desperate she was to have a baby of her own? He wouldn’t get it. ‘I just feel weird about it.’
‘Why?’ His tongue peeked out, ran across his bottom lip and her eyes tracked every millisecond of the movement. I wonder if the jolt I’ve felt around him lately would be there if we kissed. ‘Amber, tell me why. Please, Cherry. I have to know.’
His little nickname for her was almost enough to make her blurt everything out, but she squashed it down. She needed things to stop, just for a minute. She felt like she was on the carousel at the fair her grandmother always took her to when it came to Hebblestone. Her head was swimming, and the faces of everyone she held dear were zooming around her as she was spun around. Gripping on for dear life, she drew in a breath. Now was not the time to jump into some half-cocked feeling of lust, not when her mind was so chaotic. She couldn’t afford to waste any more time. Risk something else not working out. Plus, it was Tyler! He wasn’t some rebound. It was far too messy, far too soon. She needed her head clear, and her bed empty.
‘Because we’re friends.’
Tyler’s jaw closed tight, and she could see the muscles in his bare forearms flex as he tightened them around the glass he was holding. ‘That it?’
‘Isn’t that enough?’ She drained her glass, welcoming the numbing amber liquid as it hit her body. ‘It’s over with Brad. Being single is better for me right now.’ Wow. That last part even sounded lame to her own ears. ‘I just want to enjoy my birthday next week, worry about the rest later.’
Tyler huffed. ‘So that’s your plan?’ He turned his hulking frame on the stool, pinning her knees between his. ‘Just let your life get away from you? I thought you were better than that, Amb. When I first started, you were full of big ideas and stuff you wanted to do.’ He leaned closer, pointing a finger at her chest. ‘Where’s that girl, eh? Cos that girl wanted to get back to the Arms, make it her own. She wanted a big, full life.’
‘She’s still here,’ Amber pushed his hand away, but he grabbed for hers. ‘Just licking her wounds, that’s all. ’
‘Yeah?’ Pushing her palm against his own chest, he covered it with his broad palm. ‘Well, my heart beats for that girl, and it’s fucking breaking right now seeing you like this. If you let him, he’ll worm his way back into your life. He doesn’t pissing well deserve you, and I—’ His voice fell away, and she felt the frustration roiling through her. She had no right to his words. She was denying this new aspect of them herself, but his hesitation still stung. Another man who couldn’t just say what they meant. If a man wants you, he’ll be there. Her quota of waiting for the opposite sex was full for the year. ‘I?—’
‘You what, Ty?’ They were causing a scene now. Her voice had shot up, and Tyler was so het up, she could feel his snarl under her palm. She ripped her hand away, leaning to get her purse and almost knocking the stool away in her haste to put some distance between them. ‘I’m sick of all these little comments. Men! You never say what you damn well mean!’
His hand was still on his chest, as if he still felt her touch. ‘I’m not the one with someone, am I.’
‘No,’ she replied hotly, feeling her face flush and her eyes sting with the threat of tears. No way am I crying here. Not a damn chance. ‘No, Tyler. You’re not. I’m not with Bradley, and yeah, we had our issues, God knows, but at least I tried with someone . You haven’t been on one date since we met, so you’re hardly an expert on relationships. I will make my dreams happen, man or no man. It’s just not that easy.’
‘Bullshit,’ he rasped back, standing and coming to meet her chest to chest. Well, not exactly. With his size, she was pretty much hate-eyeing his pecs right now. In fact, she was so het up, she could probably reach over and nipple twist him to death if she wanted to. ‘You let Bradley put you on hold, and you deserve more, Cherry. So much fucking more. You need to do your own shit!’
‘Don’t Cherry me, Master Chef!’ She was shouting now. Glancing around, half the pub suddenly looked away to study the wallpaper, the beermats, anything but look in their direction. Sharon was staring at them both, a look Amber didn’t understand clouding her face. She looked almost… amused? Nah .
‘Mr Master Chef if you don’t mind, and I’ll Cherry you as much as I like!’
Her head whirled around to laser focus on him again. His jaw was so tight, she thought his teeth might pop.
‘And, anyway, if you’re so good, why are you still here?’ She jabbed her hands towards the kitchen. ‘You could have gotten a better gig months ago. You didn’t want to work with Bradley, you turn down offers all the time! You hark on about me being stuck, but you’re still here too!’
‘Yeah,’ he fumed. ‘I am, and it’s a good job too, because you need someone to give you a kick up the behind! No-one else will do it, will they? You’re on your own, Amber!’
‘I DON’T NEED YOU!’ she shouted back. That last comment had cut through her like a chuffing samurai sword. ‘I’m fine on my own! I’ve been on my own most of my life, Tyler.’
He took a step back, his body draining of anger before her. ‘Amber, I didn’t mean that. I meant?—’
‘Oh, I know what you meant.’ Her voice had dropped to a raspy whisper. ‘And we’re done talking. My relationship with Bradley is none of your business. What I do in my life is my problem, not yours.’ Her chest was heaving with frustration and hurt. She was so upset, so hopping mad and embarrassed that she couldn’t get a breath into her lungs deep enough to quell everything within. Gripping her bag to her like a life raft in the sea of watching faces, she headed straight upstairs to her flat. She knew she was being rude, but she was done. For once, she wasn’t the nice woman who made everyone else feel welcome. Quite frankly, right now she wished that they’d all jog on. The problem with living in Hebblestone was that everyone knew your business. Before now, it had never been an issue. Maybe it had helped that Bradley didn’t live here too, but she couldn’t think about that right now. It just reminded her that he’d left rather than staying to fight for their relationship. That, sooner or later, everyone left.
She got to her flat door when she heard him.
‘Tyler, just leave it. Please.’
Her stupid key wouldn’t fit in the lock. Her shaky hands were rimming the metal, and she grabbed it with her other hand to steady it enough to push it home.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.’
Her door opened, and she faced him with a weary look. She felt exhaustion running through her entire being.
‘Yeah, you did. And you have a point with most of it, but I just don’t want to talk about it any more.’
‘What if I do?’ She drank him in as he stood there. Halfway up the steps, his face contrite, stricken. ‘I have more to say.’
‘Whatever you have to say doesn’t matter. I meant what I said.’ She bit her lip. ‘I’ve been feeling weird around you lately, and it’s not right. I’m still getting over Bradley, and I have my own stuff going on. We just hurt each other, in front of everyone? Can’t you see that?’
He looked devastated.
‘I know.’
‘That’s not us, Tyler.’ She laughed, but it was thin, strained. ‘I need you in my corner, like before. You’re right, you do look after me. Too much, probably.’
‘I like taking care of you, Cherry.’
‘Don’t call me that.’ Her eyes slammed shut as she tried to pull her thoughts together. ‘Listen, Bradley is going to get the eatery open. You’ll leave. Things will change and, if I don’t do something, I will still be here, living this life. I don’t want to lose you?— ’
‘You won’t,’ he growled. ‘Ever.’
Her heart did that flip-floppy thing it had been doing lately when he spoke to her like this. She really needed an ECG or something, because it felt like the damn thing stopped for a split second and then raced to catch up with itself.
‘Good,’ she started to turn away, not wanting to face him. ‘Because you’re a good friend. I wouldn’t want that to change when so many other things might. I have to follow my own path.’
‘Friend,’ he echoed as she half hid behind the closing door. ‘Right.’ Did I just hear him swallow? ‘Got you.’ The door was open a crack now. She felt like when she was a bitty thing and her parents would get her to hide behind the couch so the rent collector couldn’t spot them through the window. Guilty, sly.
‘Goodnight,’ she pushed out, hating herself.
He didn’t reply until she’d locked the door behind her.
‘Yeah. Goodnight, Amber. Sleep tight.’