Chapter 22
22
This was it. In a couple of hours, she’d finally know whether her dreams were going to come true. She was so close, and none of it mattered a jot. Because Tyler Williams wasn’t there by her side. She didn’t have her big, frowny best friend to cheer her on. To challenge her, to be there like he always was. And she didn’t have him, the one man who she adored and had never given the chance. She was going to make it right, though. She was going to get the Arms, and make it her own. She was going to get her grandmother’s place back, and hop on the first train to London and beg Tyler to forgive her. They could make it work; she could commute. She would pick up the Arms brick by brick and rebuild it down there if he wanted it.
For weeks now, in between crying, planning and puking, she’d thought of their time together. Replayed all the little moments that he’d shown her he had her back, had cared. She knew he’d loved her, and she’d been too blind to see it. Too stupid and blinded by the man she thought Bradley was to see what was there, right in her kitchen the whole sodding time. He’d punched his feckless cheating ex for her, had fed her, designed her a menu and asked for nothing in return. Every time Ben brought her one of those cherry pastries she loved, it made her heart break that Tyler wasn’t the one holding the plate. Calling her Cherry in his sexy, gruff way. She was in love with Tyler Williams. Not because of anything he’d done for her, or given to her. Because he was Tyler. Her lumberjack protector. She was going to fight for everything she should have before. Tyler was her dream. Without him, none of this was worth anything. Even the baby growing inside her, the child she’d wanted for so long. It wouldn’t be the same if this little scrap of life didn’t have Tyler there, loving them. Loving their mother. She would go and see him, beg him for another chance, and then tell him about the baby. Hope that he would still want to be part of her life.
As she walked out of the bank, standing at the edge of the pavement, she drew in a breath before heading home.
‘Well,’ she said to herself, her hand on her rounded stomach. ‘Here we go, little one. All in or nothing.’
She heard heavy footsteps approaching, and her heart stopped when she turned to see Tyler standing there. Watching her.
‘What are you doing here?’
It came out harsh, accusing. Breathy. Probably because seeing him standing there had knocked the very air from her lungs. Tyler. Oh, you look good. I missed you so much . Her whole body tilted forward, as if every single cell had been longing for him all this time and finally had somewhere to run to.
‘I came to see you.’ He’d been leaning against the cream rendered wall of the bank. He shot her a dimpled smile and pushed himself off the wall. Coming to face her. Two feet together. He looked like he hadn’t slept well. She wanted to ask him what had kept him up, but she doubted it was the same reason she was currently only managing to score four hours a night. If she was lucky. He looked different. More than sleep deprived. Tense. His muscular shoulders were up, she could see the corded tension in his neck as he slowly looked her up and down. ‘Came straight from London.’
It was cold today. The winter chill in the air biting into her skin. She’d put her thick winter coat on, a cream, faux-fur affair that made her feel like Olivia Pope, if Olivia Pope was a polar bear. It fastened with one central button, and as she felt him take her in with those eyes she knew so well, she was grateful it was buttoned up. It felt like a barrier against more than the chill. A secret keeper.
‘Why?’ was all she could think to say, even though her heart was soaring.
Her question was rewarded with his trademark grumpy frown.
‘Why? Oh, I don’t know. Because I missed my best friend. Because I knew you’d be here. Sharon,’ he added with a tilt of his lips. ‘She’s like a rottweiler when she believes in something. Gave me a pretty hard time when I left too.’
Amber had a sudden image of Sharon as a huge, dark-brown dog, snarling and snapping at his heels. ‘Shazza will love that,’ she half blurted. ‘And she was only doing it to protect me. I told her it was my fault you left. I explained everything to her.’
His eyes turned shark like, deep and dark. ‘The one person you don’t need protection from is me, Amb. I know I hurt you, we hurt each other, but I…’ He huffed out a ragged breath. ‘Listen, I’m not here to make excuses. I messed up. I thought I was doing the right thing. For you. I wanted you to have your shot at your dream. It’s the only reason I stopped calling. To let things die down.’
‘The Bradley gossip did last a while. It was probably best you weren’t around for that.’ She smiled. ‘Bill says he owes you a pint though.’
Tyler laughed. ‘Good man. It made it easier to be away from you, knowing you had people in your corner. I don’t give a shit if Bradley chats shit about me every day for the rest of his miserable life; he’s a snivelling git and I should never have let you near him. ’
A couple walking past her with their poodle turned back to give them a look. It made her feet move closer, towards him. He watched her for a moment and took a step forward. As if he was trying not to spook her away.
When they were close enough that she could smell his aftershave, she came to a stop. ‘I went into that relationship willingly, Ty… ler.’ Ty sounded too intimate somehow, and she needed to keep it together. Get all of this out. She thought she’d have time on the train to plan her speech. He winced at her correction, and she wanted to kick herself for ever pushing him away.
‘Not your Ty any more, eh?’ His throat worked, but he was already speaking before she could tell him the truth. That he was her Ty. Would always be her Ty. ‘Can we go talk somewhere, please?’ He was looking around, as though he was only just noticing the people milling around them. ‘You really shouldn’t be on your feet anyway. Have you eaten today?’
There he was. Her Ty. The man who she’d always confided in, told almost everything to. The man who brought her food without being asked to, the bloke who took notice of the little things. Her Ty, and he was here. She’d been going back and forth for days, ever since her scan. When everything had come into sharp focus. The irony was, the one person she’d wanted to call was him. When she’d come out of that room, black and white sonograph pictures in hand, all she’d wanted to do was pick up the phone and call him. But she hadn’t. She’d wanted to get her ducks in a row before she went to him. To show him that she didn’t need to be looked after any more; she wanted to be the one who did that for him.
‘Amber?’ He was staring at her, that familiar look of concern on his face as his eyes raked over her.
‘I have something to say to you,’ she started, but he stopped her confession by closing the distance between them. Her hands were in his before she could get her bearings .
‘Let me say this first, then I promise I’ll leave you alone if you still want me to. Sharon told me you were still sad. That you’d been asking Ben to make you my pastries. It gave me hope, a kick in the arse to come back and find out, once and for all. I fucked up a lot of things. Not just with Bradley; I should have done all of this differently. The night you met Brad, I should have told you my feelings; I should have told the little rat that you were too good for him. That I wanted you for myself. I wasted so much time, but I can’t waste another second without telling you?—’
‘Tyler, I?—’
‘I love you. Christ, I love you so much, I can’t see straight. I’ve been miserable in London. I just wanted to come home. You’re my home, Amber. I don’t need some fancy job; I never did. When you told me about the donor, I wanted to scream my damn head off. I didn’t want you to have a kid with some stranger, on your own. I wanted to be there, doing it with you. I want to do everything with you. All your firsts. Your dreams, the family. Everything. I would lasso the moon and net the fucking stars if you wanted them, Cherry. I came here to tell you that I love you, and your baby.’
She tried to speak but her throat had closed up. Her vocal cords were out of action. Your baby. He wanted to bring up someone else’s child, with her. The tears she’d been trying to keep at bay since she’d set eyes on him broke free, spilling warm and salty down her cheeks.
‘Tyler,’ was all she managed to push out on shaky breath. Sharon had told him. The little matchmaking minx.
‘I mean it, Amber. I love you, both. I want to be there. Me and you, like before. Only this time, no Bradley, no stupid lies or hiding behind our feelings. I swear, if you let me in, I will never let you down.’
‘You… I really should have gone first. You… love me?’
‘Yes. I think I always have. ’
‘I… the baby…’
Shit. I really should have gone first. He wants me, the baby. I’m so damn happy, so shocked that he’s here, saying my words, I can’t even push out a syllable.
‘The baby is yours, Amber. How could I do anything but love it? I’m in. All in. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I saw it on your computer. Being with you, helping you raise a family, that’s everything.’ He motioned to the bank. ‘I know you have your life plan, and I don’t want to derail that. If anything, I want to help you get it all. I know you think I’m putting my own dreams on hold, but this is it. Right here. Let me do it all with you. I’ll be your chef, your partner. I just want to be part of it, if you’ll?—’
She reached out, putting her hand on his chest. He stopped dead, looking down at the point where their bodies touched.
‘The baby…’
His face fell, and she stopped him before he spiralled into worry.
‘I’m fine. I mean, the baby… the sperm donor.’
‘I don’t care about how you got your baby, Amber.’
‘It didn’t work.’
His brow creased. ‘What? What do you mean… Sharon said you were pregnant. I don’t?—’
She saw something like recognition spark his face, and he pulled her into his arms. ‘Oh God, Amber. I didn’t know, I’m so sorry. Do you need to sit down? When did it?—’
The baby in her belly chose that moment to give her a little kick, the flutter in her stomach letting her know that the little one was still here. And maybe didn’t appreciate being smushed against Tyler’s hard body. Its mother sure did.
‘No.’ She almost laughed, pushing herself out of his arms and undoing the button on her coat. Tyler let her go, his eyes dropping to the neat bump. ‘I’m still pregnant. The sperm donation, it didn’t work.’
His face was a picture. ‘You might have to explain this one to me, Cherry.’
She shot him a watery smile. ‘You might be the one who needs to sit down. Tyler, it didn’t work because I didn’t do it. I was in too much of a mess, and I told you I did it because I wanted to push you away. And then I was a bigger mess when you left. I was sick, and I thought it was just because of everything with you. So I decided I would get the Arms, and then come and beg you to try again.’ She smiled then, a tear spilling down her cheek. ‘The thing was, I was already pregnant. I didn’t know it, but the dates fit when I looked. I went to the doctor, and she confirmed it. When I had my scan, I knew it was really happening. I wanted to call you the second I got out of there.’ She brushed the salty water from her cheeks, hands sliding to her pregnant belly. ‘I wanted to call you before I knew, if I’m honest. I haven’t told anyone. Not even Sharon. I wanted you there, but I had to make myself whole and show you I am here to take care of you now. I missed you so much, then when they told me I was pregnant, and it was yours. Ours. I just didn’t know how to tell you, but…’
‘It’s mine?’ he whispered.
Tears slid down her face and all she could do was nod.
‘It’s… the baby’s… we’re having a baby?’ His big, brown eyes were wide with shock, and then he broke into a huge, soppy grin. The same one he’d had on his face when he’d made her breakfast in bed.
She drew in a shuddery breath. ‘Yes. We’re having a baby, Ty. And I love you too.’
‘We’re really…’ His grin was bright enough to crack the pavements with its brilliance. ‘We’re having a baby!’ He lifted her into his arms, spinning her around on the pavement. The small ga thering of people waiting at the bus stop opposite the bank all turned to look. One bobble-hat-wearing woman with a tartan shopping trolley started to clap. ‘Congratulations,’ another one shouted.
Tyler didn’t even see them; he was too busy twirling her around whooping. ‘We’re having a baby!’
‘Yeah, I know,’ Amber laughed, ‘but I’m also going to vomit if you don’t stop spinning me!’
‘Oh shit,’ Ty stopped immediately, lowering her to the floor and gripping her to him like she was a delicate, bone-china doll. ‘Sorry!’ He walked her over to the benches in front of the sandwich shop a few doors down. When she went to sit down, he came to her side, grabbing her butt cheeks.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Lowering you to the seat,’ he replied, his face taut. Amber was pretty sure she could hear a cackle coming from the direction of the bus shelter.
‘Tyler, I can sit down without breaking!’
He waited until she was seated and took his place next to her. ‘Sorry,’ he muttered, his face still flushed with shock. And probably exertion from carrying her around. She had noticed her maternity trousers were needed this morning when she’d got dressed for her meeting. ‘I think I’m in shock.’
‘I know.’ She gripped his hand when he reached for hers. ‘I would have told you; I just needed to get the meeting out of the way, and?—’
‘I know you would. Tell me, I mean. I get why you waited. How did the meeting go?’ He added the question as if he’d just remembered the reason she’d been there in the first place.
‘I got the loan,’ she said, feeling the elation all over again. ‘They loved the new business plan. In fact, they said the ideas for the food would be a very welcome addition to the community against all the newer, “hoity toity” places that had sprung up in the area. ’
Their eyes met, and Tyler beamed. Which made her break out in peals of laughter. A minute later, they were both laughing their heads off on the bench.
When they’d finally stopped setting each other off, he slid his arm around her.
‘Can I?’ he asked softly, his eyes on her tummy.
She nodded, taking the hand wrapped around hers and placing his calloused palm on the spot where the flutters had just been coming from. ‘He’s been kicking since you got here.’
‘He?’ His brows shot up, his gravelly voice full of wonder and emotion as he focused on her bump.
‘Just a guess. It’s too soon to know yet. We should be able to find out at the next scan.’
‘I don’t care,’ he breathed, his smouldering eyes locking on hers. ‘I don’t care either way. I loved this baby before it was here. Before it was mine. I don’t care if a baby octopus shoots out of there; I’m going to love the hell out of it. Of both of you.’
One hand on her bump, linked with his, she raised the other to cup his stubbly cheek. ‘You look awful,’ she told him, brushing her thumb along his stubble.
‘I needed my best friend, to tell me to shave.’
He turned his head to kiss her thumb. The thrill of his touch sent flutters through her body.
‘Woah,’ Tyler exclaimed, when their child bumped against their joined hands. ‘Did you feel that?’
‘Yeah,’ she chuckled. ‘I think it’s a tentacle.’
He laughed, his eyes bright as he dipped his head to kiss the spot above their hands. ‘Hey little octopus,’ he breathed, his voice so happy and tender, Amber’s heart swelled. ‘It’s your dad.’ He kissed the same spot. ‘You might want to get used to hearing my voice, because I am going to be around from now on.’
A hiccupy sob burst from her then, and his head snapped up to hers. ‘Hey,’ he murmured, touching his forehead to hers, leaning into her body as he shifted to pull her closer. ‘No more tears, Cherry. Tears are not part of the plan.’
‘I love you,’ she declared, so happy that her stressful day had turned out like this. The bundle of nerves and hormones that set out that morning was unrecognisable now even to herself. ‘I really do, Ty. I’m so sorry I cut you out.’
‘Shh,’ he chided. ‘We’re here, now, right? Everything finally worked out. I love you; you love me. We’re having a baby.’ He spoke as if he were saying the words out loud to confirm it to himself as much as her.
‘And a pub of our own, with a bit of luck,’ she added, grinning as his face registered shock yet again. ‘I put an offer in on The Bingley Arms before I left the bank.’
He gazed at her in wonder, and before she could say another word, his lips crashed down onto hers. The second their mouths met, she melted into his embrace. They only broke apart when they heard a loud honk. Turning to look, they saw the people on the bus all cheering through the windows, making them laugh. Even the driver had been filled in, it seemed. He was clapping from the front seat.
‘This village.’ Tyler chuckled as he pulled her in for another kiss. When he finally broke his lips from hers, he tilted his head questioningly. ‘So,’ he said, a cheeky grin on his happy face. ‘What do you say, boss? Need a chef? I have good references.’