November 27th, 2008
Toby, again
Irrefutable evidence that everything is better deep-fried arrives in the form of a turkey in James’s meaty arms. It sizzles its way to the table, the outer layer looking like a sunburned old man and smelling like gratitude.
The Rice’s don’t say grace, but Natalie clears her throat and stares pointedly at James as he pries a drumstick from the turkey. He drops it. “Oh, yeah, Natalie and Cate have a Thanksgiving tradition. They say something they’re grateful for.” Cate groans, but James ignores her and stands, turkey fat glistening on his fingers. He clears his throat, claps his hands together, and rubs them vigorously in front of him. “I’ll start. I’m grateful for Natalie.” He gives Natalie a look more adoring than the one he gave the turkey leg.
Natalie squeezes Coach Rice’s hand then cringes and wipes her hand off on a gold cloth napkin and stands. “I’m grateful that Cate and JerryAnn are friends again.” She pats JerryAnn’s hand from across the table as she sits.
I’m next. I stand. “I’m grateful you invited me over for Thanksgiving. Otherwise, I’d be alone.”
JerryAnn’s eyes are soft. “You’ve got Gordita.” She squeezes Gavin’s hand.
I give her a half smile, then sit and study Gavin, who hasn’t said more than a few words since I got here. He drives a Porsche 911 and is taller than me, even slumped in his chair. He folds his arms across his chest and wants to be here as much as I want him to be here.
Cate stands and clears her throat. “I’m grateful I don’t have hidradenitis.” She puts a hand up to her opposite armpit. “Your sweat glands under your armpits get inflamed and swollen and pus-filled, and no matter how many times the pus pockets get cut out, they come back.” She grins, drops her hand, and sits down.
Natalie chokes, Gavin doesn’t react, JerryAnn and I laugh, and James laughs so big the turkey shakes.
Natalie hits him on the arm. “Don’t encourage her.”
James lifts his shoulders. “But it’s funny.”
JerryAnn stands and smiles down at Gavin. “I’m grateful Gavin could make it today and meet my family.” She sits.
All eyes are on Gavin, who doesn’t squeeze JerryAnn’s hand. He leans toward JerryAnn and whispers in her ear, but we all hear it. “Do I have to do this?”
Cate and I look at each other, groaning inwardly.
“No,” JerryAnn whispers and taps his hand. The silence is deafening. Never good with awkward silences, I copy James, clap my hands together, and rub them while saying, “Well, I’m starved.”
The meal proceeds as if nothing happened, but it did. Cate, Natalie, James, and I take turns watching Gavin and JerryAnn, trying to figure them out. What surprises me is that James doesn’t threaten Gavin with disembowelment, intimidate him, or even acknowledge him. After dinner and before pie, Gavin stands.
It’s awkward again, but maybe he’s thought of something to be grateful for. How can a guy with JerryAnn not be grateful? “Thank you for dinner.” He addresses Natalie. “My family is expecting me, so I have to go.”
Natalie stands. “It was nice to meet you, Gavin. Thanks for coming.”
JerryAnn stands. “I’ll walk you out.”
She invited Gavin to meet her family, but he didn’t invite her to meet his family? What a putz.
As soon as JerryAnn and Gavin are ten feet out the door, a guttural groan rips from James’s throat. “I hate that guy. Remind me why I have to be nice.”
Natalie sidles up to James, who’s watching JerryAnn from the window. Natalie puts her hand in his. “If you mess up this relationship, she’ll blame you. She has to figure this out for herself.”
I nod. Things make a little more sense.
Cate shakes her head. “He buys her lots of presents.”
James’s fists clench. “Yeah, he has to buy presents so she’ll put up with him. I’m not perfect, but he doesn’t pull out chairs for her or even look at her, and after JerryAnn was grateful for him, he couldn’t think of one thing to say?” There’s a new, pulsating blood vessel on his neck as he clutches the curtain. “And he touched my remote control.”
Cate and I walk to the window. Gavin opens his door, and JerryAnn shivers, waiting for a kiss, a hug, or some kind of acknowledgment, but Gavin folds himself into his tiny car, doesn’t roll down the window, doesn’t wave, just backs up while JerryAnn watches, freezing.
She stands there after he’s gone, and now a blood vessel is pulsing on my neck. “He’s a jerk.” Natalie, James, and Cate turn from the window to me. “What? He is, and we should do something about it.”
Cate nods. “Like an intervention?”
I shake my head. “No. Natalie’s right. If we interfere, she’ll blame us.”
Cate faces me. “She thinks she’s emotionless, and he definitely is, so she’s convinced they can’t hurt each other.”
“That’s stupid,” I say knowing JerryAnn is passionate and compassionate.
James groans, “He sucks!” Couldn’t have said it better myself. He points out the window. “Look at her.” She’s shivering in the cold as Gavin’s car disappears. “Does she look happy?”
I turn from the window, face the group, punch my fist into my open palm, and speak with my most tough guy voice. “Let’s crack Gavin’s nuts.”
James pumps his fist. “Now we’re talking.”
Natalie glares at James and speaks through closed teeth. “I do not condone violence.”
James drops the curtain and turns. “Is it violence if we do it while he’s sleeping?”
I smile at James but put my hands up in protest. “Hey, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I grab the gift bag Gavin left behind on the coffee table. “Let’s crack Gavin’s nuts.” It’s a bag of unshelled mixed nuts from Natalie, with a nutcracker.
When JerryAnn walks in, she finds the four of us hovered around the coffee table with nutcrackers in one hand and Gavin’s nuts in the other. She joins in, confused by the laughs, the exchanged glances, and the aggressive way James cracks each nut.
The rest of the day is peaceful. I miss Mom, but James, Natalie, Cate, and JerryAnn are a good distraction. We talk, laugh, play board and card games, and eat pie around 7:00.
When JerryAnn heads for the bathroom, I enter the kitchen, where Natalie is cleaning dishes. “I’m gonna go.”
Natalie faces me, soap bubbles on her cheek. “Thanks for coming,” she whispers and wipes her hand on a towel. She grabs a heaping plate of leftovers from the fridge and shoves it into my hands with a smile.
“Thank you.” I give her a side hug and walk to the door past James, where he’s asleep on his recliner.
Cate looks up at me from the couch. I whisper, “I still think you cheat at cards.”
“No, I just win.” Cate smirks. “Aren’t you going to say goodbye to Jerry?”
“Nah. See you back at school.”
Cate curls up in her blanket. U2 has been singing “With or Without You” in my head for the last hour, and I don’t want to make this goodbye any harder than it is. JerryAnn may not care that this is it, but she’s meant a lot to me.
I shrug into my jacket, careful not to drop my plate, and walk slowly to my car. Mom shouts, “Come algo” in my head as I open my car door and set the plate on the center console.
I shake my head and whisper, “I did, Mom.”