Chapter 35
NATE
Meet me at the fountain.
That was the only thing written on the napkin slipped under my door. There’s no name. No time. No location. Just five words that speak for themselves.
The fountain where we first properly met.
The place where we first fell.
So much has changed since the last time we were here.
Back then, it seemed that everything in my life was going to shit—that I’d lost everything I ever thought I wanted. The electric plane deal. My drama-free reputation. The trust others had in me. The only thing I gained was a fake fiancée.
Now that I’m back with the things I thought I wanted, I realized I lost the one thing I didn’t know I needed.
And that’s Miss Vivienne Brown.
I’m not sure what’s going to come out of this meeting, but I do know that it could end badly if she doesn’t find it in herself to forgive me.
The panic attack at her apartment. The way she’d been hyperventilating. All I wanted to do was hold her close to my chest and turn back time to rewrite the prophecy. Even if it meant erasing the encounter that brought her into my life.
I kill the ignition once I’ve talked myself down, then step out of the car to spot her in the distance. My eyes linger on her, committing her memory in case this is the last time I ever see her. But it’s the sheer tights, black wool coat, and heeled boots that put me on high alert.
It’s the dead of winter, and she runs cold as it is, but it’s when she turns around that I realize what she’s done.
It’s the red dress—the one she wore when we ran into each other here nearly four months ago.
Her timid smile when she meets my gaze is enough to send my heart into overdrive, and I can’t help but mirror her expression.
I’m not used to this—the unknown.
In the beginning, I knew where she stood with her absolute hatred of me. Toward the middle, it shifted to something more amicable, and at the very end, before it all blew up, I thought she really liked me. Now, with an unreadable look in her eyes, I don’t even know what she’s thinking.
“Hey.” Vivienne lifts her hand in greeting.
“Hi.” I reciprocate the gesture before shoving my hands in the pockets of my coat, scared they might give away how I truly feel.
I circle the now snow-filled fountain, trying my best to avoid the spots of ice that surround it before stopping in front of her. Season aside, everything feels so eerily similar to how it did that night.
As though on cue, the memories come flooding back. The lighthearted flirting. The shoe that fell on top of that goose’s back. The splashing of water around us as we fell into that fountain.
At the time, none of it was funny. The news articles. The controversies. The having everything I’ve worked for on the line. But looking back at it now, I’m grateful for every single experience, because they brought me to her.
Even though I may have already lost her.
“I think I need to start with an apology,” I say, looking into those big brown doe eyes.
They look at me with a softness that wasn’t there last time I talked to her. And though that seems like an improvement, it still feels like I’m treading troubled waters.
“I’m really sorry for the deep-rooted pain I caused you—all of it. The avoidance when I couldn’t grapple with my feelings. The life-altering invention that took lives and impacted you and the families of everyone on that plane.”
Vivienne lets out a loud breath, fishing something out of her pocket and holding her fist out for me. I place my hand under and feel cool metal when she lets go.
It’s her engagement ring. The one Melanie bought and gave her. Though I had nothing to do with purchasing it, seeing it returned seems like an ending. And I don't want us to end.
“Do you actually feel guilty?” she asks, hard, unwavering eyes boring into mine. When I nod in agreement, she bites back a bitter smile. “Tell me why you feel bad.”
The command takes me by shock—my involvement in the death of her parents is obvious. Blatant to the naked eye. The last thing I want is to recite it again, but if it means the possibility of getting the girl back, I will.
“It might have been Carter’s poor execution that led to the…mishap,” I use as my word of choice, not knowing how else to phrase it. “But it was my idea. If I’d protected it—”
“Stop right there.” Vivienne interrupts me with her hand. “I don’t want to hear anymore of this pity party you’re having for me. If you can’t move on from the past, let go, and detach from what you think you did, we can’t be together. So I’m asking you the question again. Do you feel bad?”
The underlying answer is yes, I am ashamed of the past and the consequences it’s had. But I can also acknowledge that I wouldn’t be standing here if not for it. And I don’t know how to wrestle with that guilt.
Thankfully, she fills the silence.
“What’s done is done—the stolen idea, the Carter Crawford crisis—it’s all in the past. We can’t go back and change time.
I understand why you put all the blame on yourself, and how much of a burden that knowledge must have been for you to carry.
But that isn’t what hurt me the most, Nate—you ignored me instead of telling me what was bothering you.
And that kind of communication isn’t sufficient for a healthy relationship. ”
I nod in acknowledgment, knowing where I went wrong. “And it will never happen again.”
Vivienne takes another deep breath and looks off to the side to a crackling of tree branches where two little brown birds nestle in. They stand out against the white background, chirping as though offering words of encouragement.
Her eyes water at the sight, and she turns back to me with a lot more determination.
“If we move forward, I want you to promise me that we’ll both do our best to communicate with each other, through thick and thin. No matter how good or bad it is, we talk it out, together—like a real couple, because that’s what I want us to be. That is, if you still want me.”
“If?” I quirk a brow in shock at the word she’s using.
It isn't even a question to me whether I want to be with her.
She nods, eyes closing softly, and I take this opportunity to step toward her.
“What if I told you I didn’t want this anymore. Would you be okay with that?”
Her breathing rate picks up, obvious discomfort rippling through her, but she nods, nonetheless.
I stride forward, stopping less than a foot away from her. Vivienne’s neck cranes to look up at me, while every bone in my body resists the temptation to pull her close, flush her against my body until we become one.
“And what if I told you I wanted to do this right? Date you properly, and get to know every part of you. Does that also work well with you?”
Her eyes water, and from the slight smile of relief that crosses her lips, I know which option she prefers. Still, she'll need to use her words.
“There’s only one right answer, Vivienne. Which one is it going to be?” I ask, looking her straight in the eyes.
This time, she’s the one stepping closer, rising onto her tiptoes, and pressing her lips against mine.
It’s a peck at first, riddled with uncertainty, but soon enough, my hands rise out of my pockets to cradle her face, and that’s when she melts into my touch. Vivienne smiles against my lips, and a deep satisfaction soars through me.
I pull back enough to tell her the words I’ve said before, but not under the right circumstances. “I love you.”
Big brown eyes look into mine with a softness that nearly undoes me. “I love you too.”
Certain that my feelings aren’t one-sided, I wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her taut against my body. Vivienne gasps in surprise, giggling in delight once again when I kiss her with vigor.
“Does that mean you’ll be my girlfriend?”
She cackles against my lips, shoulders shaking. “I guess we’re technically taking a step back, aren’t we?”
The lightheartedness that fills her tone dissipates as her fingers dig into my biceps, and the panic rises within her. “Nate,” she says, worried.
“Yeah?” I ask, landing another peck on her lips.
“Don’t move.”
My brows furrow. “What do you mean, don’t move?”
I try to step away when a loud gasp startles me. It all happens in slow motion from there—Vivienne’s heels slipping on the ice, her hand flailing back from the shock, me tumbling right along with her.
My back hits the ground in a loud thud, and I burst out in laughter as her body lands on mine. Though startled for a few seconds, she eventually melts into a soft laugh of her own.
“How could this have happened twice?” She can barely contain herself, the skin wrinkling around the corners of her eyes.
I can’t help but admire the sight.
This is what I hope to fall asleep and wake up to for the rest of my life. No matter the age, the problems, or the wrinkles. The tiredness that would come with finishing her PhD, work, or even motherhood. I want it all, and I want to do with her.
“What is it?” Vivienne asks softly, looking at me inquisitively.
I shake my head with a smile. “Nothing.”
Her mouth parts in surprise, stunned that I won’t tell her. “What do you mean? Nothing!”
My grin spreads across my face. “Exactly what it sounds like.”
Vivienne rolls her eyes playfully, letting go despite the part of her that really wants to know. “You know what we didn’t do last time we were here?” she asks, a glint going off her eyes as she sorts through the pocket of her coat.
“What didn’t we do?” I ask.
“Make wishes!” she exclaims, handing me a coin and keeping one for herself.
I revel in her energy, amused that this is the thought running through her head while she’s lying on top of me on the icy ground, hair sparkling with snowflakes.
“I know there isn’t any water in the fountain anymore, but I think the ice still counts.”
“Does it now?” I arch a brow.
Vivienne makes no move to get up, perfectly satisfied where she is. Her eyes squeeze shut, and a smile plays along her lips before she throws the coin into the fountain. It dings sharply as it lands, echoing through this quiet winter day.
“Have you made your wish?” She opens her eyes to look at me. When I shake my head, she pouts. “How come?”
“There’s no need when I have everything I’ve ever wished for.”
Her face turns a bright shade of pink as she averts her gaze, but I bring it back to me as I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “But just in case.” I flick the coin into the fountain. “That’s to make sure you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life.”
She smiles widely, and I smile back.
Our relationship may have technically downgraded, but I have a feeling we’ll be back at square one in no time.