32. Good August #4
“They expand faster when they’re first born.
Rapid energetic growth that slows as the universe ages.
” Her black-tipped fingernails gently touch down on one paper covered in green ink which she moves in front of August. “If you can harness that power of a fresh, sapling universe, I think it’s enough to blast your way through the other side.
If you can pierce a hole in a universe that contains enough energy to combat the one you accidentally pierced at the start, you’ll create a new quantum wave that will reverse the events you put in order. ”
“Reverse them?” August flings his eyes down the paper, taking it in with a speed that’s both intimidating and deeply admirable. “But it’s gone. All of it’s destroyed.”
“It’s not.”
The atmosphere turns thick as he considers her words, wanting to believe, doubting. “I witnessed it with my own eyes. You can see it happening right outside your window.”
“I can see it’s a mess, but the particles are still there. They’re just disordered. But atoms have a memory, do they not?”
“That’s right, they do,” says Assassin August. “They hold patterns. They respond in an orderly manner. They’re drawn to order, and recreate those forms naturally.”
“Yes!” I grasp August’s hand, pulling him around to me. “Like the time slip, isn’t it? It played out perfectly. And you said you’ve been there before. It’s just an arrangement of particles.”
“I have. I… that exact time. It happened in other universes. They had that order, over and over.”
“Wait, you both time-slipped?” Assassin August’s so keen he actually moves away from Jon, who’s still chasing that mysterious itch across his shoulder.
“Yeah. First day we met,” I tell him.
“But that doesn’t usually happen until at least a week and a half in,” my August explains. “And not every time. But certainly never that fast. That’s when I knew something was up. And… I thought maybe because you punched me…”
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
“It was kind of hot.”
“Thank you.”
“Stop flirting for five seconds,” Shashi interrupts. “You went back in time? Together?”
“Yeah, we slipped together. And, you know, it was pretty scary.” This I say for the benefit of the non-Augusts in the room.
“But he took me out and bought me a beer. And it was…” I can’t help the way my eyelashes flutter a little when I peek up at him.
“It was actually kind of… like a really nice date.”
“It was a date,” he says. “That’s why I threw caution to the wind. I liked you. And you can imagine how hopeless everything seemed to me back then. So. Sorry I lied. And I’m sorry about the touching thing.”
“It’s really okay.” I mean that with my whole heart. I completely get it. I completely get him.
“Stop flirting,” Shashi reminds us on another sigh.
“Here’s the plan.” She grabs a pen and fresh paper and scrawls out a diagram as she speaks.
“We search for a brand new universe. We open a rift to it using the particle accelerator, and at the same time, we open a rift back in the direction you came from. With any luck, if we do both, we get an equal and opposing force. It’s my hypothesis that you can restore order to the particles that have followed you through every world.
You’ll need enough momentum to smash back through all the universes you’ve destroyed, but if we can do that, I believe you can return to your own world.
” She slams the pen down triumphantly and waits for the reaction.
August’s slow, taking it all in.
But the other August is quick. Too quick. “This might actually work!”
Jon slaps my August on the back, Amber shakes my arm in excitement. And they’re happy. And they should be. This is fucking great. This is exactly what we needed, two particle physicists and a cosmologist all working together on this. That coupled with technology from some futuristic world.
It’s everything we could have asked for.
It’s good.
And it’s right.
And I feel like I’ve just been stabbed in the heart.
His own world. Of course, his own world. Not dead. Not August wandering for eternity, dwelling on all the loss. August, back in his own life. The one he had before me.
I force a smile and squeeze August’s hand, even though I feel like the weak show of enthusiasm might crack me all apart.
He drops me a glance, laced with barely concealed panic. “But… how can we know it won’t be too strong? That it won’t just blast out the other side?”
“We don’t,” Shashi replies, matter-of-factly as ever. “The consequences could be dire. But no more dire than what you’ve already done.”
“Unless the wave continues to grow well beyond the carnage I’ve caused,” August argues.
“But let’s be real,” Assassin August cuts in. “Even piercing and taking all the energy of a sapling universe, we’re unlikely to unleash more harm than you’ve already single-handedly created.”
“Thanks, August,” he mutters. “Love a straight-talker.”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“Sure you are.”
“So… that settles it?” Amber breaks in. “Have we saved the world? In theory?”
“In theory,” says Shashi. “And only in theory.”
I hate to admit it, even to myself, but those last words are like a warm blanket. Who knew I’d long for the death of the multiverse over separation from August?
Maybe I’m as suicidal as both of them are.
“It’s all very neat and pretty,” my August intervenes again, “but how are we supposed to find this new universe?”
“From what I can see,” Shashi replies, “you’ve been moving in a linear fashion.
You’re travelling where the universe sends you, in one straight line.
But look, we have a map of our own universe right here, what we can see of it.
Within our own reality, we’re only one hundred and fifty quadrillion miles from the supermassive hole at the centre of our galaxy. ”
“Only…” my August sighs out.
“But how many universes lie side by side between here and there?” As I say it, I know I’m making excuses, trying to find some science to stand in the way of what I know is right. “How do we know they’ll have the same black hole? How do we know we’ll be getting any closer?”
“We don’t,” Shashi says softly.
My own lovely August turns to me, and I want to walk away from him. When he takes up my hands, I want to wrench them back. Yet I stay and listen to his firmly spoken words. “It’s the only way. We have to put this back. Make it right. So… we’d better act fast, before this world crumbles around us.”
I agree with some breathless sound that serves for the words I can’t form and drop my head before he sees my eyes water.
This might work.
It’s good, and it’s right.
I’m losing the love of my life.
And we only just began.