23. Elyse
CHAPTER 23
Elyse
BARELY SURVIVING MINUTES
17 YEARS OLD
“ N ever leave me.”
Dominic is tagging along with me for my tour of UW. It’s supposed to be for upcoming students only, but it’s not like they’re checking IDs. And since they already separated the parents for their own guided tour, it’s just me and him and a bunch of future students I’ve never met before.
He runs a comforting hand up and down my back, his touch the only thing capable of soothing me. “I'm not going anywhere,” he murmurs.
When I first signed up for this tour, I was riddled with excitement. UW is the school I always hoped to attend, and the one I was expected to get accepted in, despite their low acceptance rate. The grounds are beautiful, like the kind of college you see in movies—brick buildings, sprawling green spaces, a combination of dark academia and timeworn architecture. But now, standing in the middle of this massive campus with students bustling past like they know exactly where they're going, my chest tightens.
Seattle feels too big, too loud, too overwhelming. Everything is moving so fast, and I'm used to the quiet, slow lifestyle of Red Mountain. If Dominic wasn’t by my side, I’m not sure how much longer I’d be able to keep going through this tour, pretending I’m not terrified out of my mind.
The tour guide is rambling about something—libraries or resources or something. I'm barely listening. My eyes keep darting around, trying to take everything in, but it's too much.
“You okay?” Dominic asks, leaning down so only I can hear him.
I nod quickly, but it's a lie. “Yeah, just...a lot to take in.”
He doesn't push, just gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze and stays close. It's like he can sense I'm one wrong word away from bolting.
As we walk to the next stop, my steps are so shaky, I find myself clinging to his arm to keep from tripping over my own feet. He doesn't complain or pull away, just stays steady beside me, letting me hold on.
When the group pauses in front of the student union building, the guide starts talking about clubs and activities, but my attention drifts again. I glance at Dominic, and he catches my eye.
"You want to step away for a bit?" he asks quietly.
I know this tour is important, but the idea of sitting somewhere quiet sounds like heaven. “Maybe just for a second,” I admit.
He steers me toward a bench nearby, away from the crowd but close enough to still hear the guide if I want to. I sink down and let out a shaky breath.
“You're allowed to feel overwhelmed," Dominic says, sitting beside me. “It's a big school. ”
“I just thought l’d feel more…ready,” I admit, barely above a whisper.
I’ve dreamed of going to school here my whole life—of moving to the city and making a life for myself. The last thing I expected was to feel like maybe I’m not cut out for my own dreams.
“Feeling ready doesn't mean you're not allowed to be scared,” he says. “If it wasn’t scary, then it wouldn’t be a change. It doesn’t mean you can’t handle it.”
I blink back tears that catch me off guard since I rarely let myself get so emotional, especially in public. I hate how much I'm leaning on him, how dependent on him I am. But in this moment, I don't care.
“I don't know if I can do this without you,” I whisper.
Dominic's face softens, and he reaches for my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. “You can,” he says confidently. “It’s only a few hours distance and we’ll see each other on the weekends.”
I wish his words had the calming effect I know he intended, instead they have the opposite. We’ll be hours apart, and I’m barely surviving minutes.
I can’t do it.