Chapter 5
Benson
Parker
This is Parker. Do you want to hang out tonight?
I barely have time to answer the message before more file in after it.
Parker
If not, it’s okay.
Parker
Really, don’t feel obligated.
Parker
Jesus, this is stupid.
I can’t help but smile. They’re something else.
Me
Sure. My place or yours? I’m choosing to ignore everything after “do you want to hang out?”
I wait and wait and wait. It feels like a lifetime has passed when my phone finally buzzes with an incoming message.
Parker
Mine is fine.
Me
On my way.
I didn’t have plans anyway. I wanted to hang out with Landon, but he’s been strange the last couple of days. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was ignoring me. If it goes on for too much longer, I’m gonna have to ask him what’s going on.
Sure, I could be studying, but where’s the fun in that?
It’s starting to get cool at night. This is my least favorite time of year. You wake up in the morning with a bite to the air, but by the afternoon, you’re sweating bullets through your football gear, and then when the sun goes down, you’re shivering again.
Before I leave, I knock on Devon’s door. He’s one of my roommates, and he’s pretty much always with Levi, my other roommate.
Sometimes I’m sure they sleep in the same bed, but I can’t prove it. And honestly, it doesn’t really matter to me either way. There’s no answer, so I try Levi’s door instead.
After a second, he opens it, peering at me with sleepy blue eyes. “Yeah?”
“Damn, sorry if I woke you up.”
He shakes his head. “It’s fine. What’s up?”
“I’m going out. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
He blinks at me slowly. “Okay. Have fun.”
Before I have a chance to respond, he’s closing the door in my face. Okay, then. With a shake of my head, I head out.
I decide to make a quick stop for some snacks, and when I’ve got my arms loaded down with candy, I make the quick walk to Parker’s apartment.
Adjusting the stuff in my hands, I rap on their door with the backs of my knuckles.
It swings open, and a flushed and mussed-up Parker stands in the doorway.
They’re wearing an oversized t-shirt that hangs off their shoulder and sits right above their mid-thigh.
It’s covered in paint, and so faded I can’t even make out the words written across the top.
“Hey, Cotton Candy.” They narrow their eyes at me, baring their teeth in a way that looks far more adorable than terrifying. “Can I come in?”
“Not if you keep calling me Cotton Candy.”
I hold a hand up. “Okay, fine. I’ll stop.” I flash them a smile, grinning broader when they roll their eyes and smile back.
“So,” I say, stepping through the front door when Parker moves to the left. “Do I get to see your art tonight?”
Parker shakes their head. “Not a chance, but get this: some asshole ran into me in the hallway the other day. All my stuff went flying, and as we were picking it up, he was ogling my drawing of you.”
I stick my lower lip out in a pout, and Parker’s eyes go wide. “I took it away from him. I didn’t mean for him to see it.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Park—can I call you Park? Anyway, I stood naked in front of a whole class and let y’all draw me. I’m not concerned about people seeing me naked.”
Parker blinks at me, then wordlessly leads me to the couch. I set all the candy down on the cushion between us. Last time I was here, I didn’t give much thought to anything but finding out if Parker’s lips tasted as sweet as I figured they would.
Our failed hookup ended with us binging something on TV and eating our weight in cookies in their bed. Until they fell asleep in the middle of an episode, and I got up and left. The last thing I wanted was for them to think I was trying to take advantage.
It was dark when I left, so I didn’t really get a good look at the apartment, but now I let my eyes linger. There are art supplies everywhere. In fact, I’ve never seen so many blank canvases in one place before.
“What’s your process?” I ask, gesturing to the pile in the furthest corner.
Parker studies me for a second, then shrugs. “It depends. I have this project I’m working on now where I’m painting human emotions. For that, I have to really channel certain things. With others, it’s just whatever’s inside me that feels like it needs to come out.”
“What’s your favorite medium?”
“Why are you asking so many questions?” I glance at them again to find them watching me with distrust in their gaze.
I shrug. “I’m not trying to be intrusive. I just find you fascinating, and I’d like to know you better. You said your art is like your soul.”
Parker scoffs, and I fight back a smile. “What? So you wanna see into my soul? Fucking weirdo behavior.”
“You’re sassy,” I say, chuckling a bit when they give me an indignant stare. “You are. Or maybe feisty would be a better way of describing it, but your eyes go all soft when you’re drawing. You’re quite the enigma, you know?”
“Am I?” Parker plops down on the couch. “Well, are you gonna sit or are you just gonna stand around talking about me and all my hidden depth?”
I sit down. “Why can’t it be both?”
They turn their nose up. “Trust me, you don’t want to know who I really am.”
I’m not so sure that’s true. I think I’d very much like to know who they really are, but I won’t push, and I won’t make them tell me anything they’re uncomfortable with.
“Wait,” I say, staring at them. “What happened to your glasses?”
Their nose scrunches. “My glasses?”
“Yeah. You had glasses.”
Recognition lights up their face. “Oh.” They giggle. “That’s just for aesthetics. I don’t actually need glasses.”
“Adorable.” I can’t help but grin.
Parker scoffs.
“What do you want to do tonight?” I ask, changing the subject.
They let out a sigh of relief, then slump on the couch. “I don’t know. I was supposed to be painting, but I can’t get in the right headspace. It’s a real pain in the ass.”
“Oh? At the risk of sounding too forward, what’s the headspace you’re supposed to be in?”
Parker leans forward on the couch, bracing their elbows on their knees.
“Okay, so I’m doing this series on emotions.
” Something in their face shifts, and I find myself leaning closer, captivated as they talk.
“And love was easy. Well, easier. It was difficult to find the right headspace, but I managed. And then I did fear right after. Same type of emotion, right?”
I’m not sure I’m following. How are fear and love the same type of emotion? But I nod anyway, thankful they’re sharing any sort of information with me at all.
“So then,” they continue, waving a hand through the air. “I think I want to do anger, but I’m not very good at being angry. It’s like I can’t figure out the right color.”
“The right color?” I echo.
They sit up straighter, turning to face me, then pull their legs up on the couch and cross them.
The t-shirt is riding dangerously high, and my throat goes dry as I drop my eyes.
Parker goes on like nothing’s different, and I’m trying my level best to keep my eyes at a respectable place. God, they’re such a beautiful human, though.
“Yeah, the right color. Like…” They trail off, then roll their eyes with a huff. “God, I can’t believe I’m gonna tell you this,” Parker mumbles under their breath. “I see things in colors. Or feel them in colors, rather.”
That’s fascinating. “So, synesthesia,” I say.
Parker’s blue eyes light up. “You’ve heard of it?”
“Yeah.” I offer them a smile. “I’m hoping to be a neuroscientist.”
Their eyes nearly bug out of their head. “Holy fuck. Lofty ambitions.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, maybe so, but hey, three years down. Like twenty-five to go.”
Parker stares at me in awe for a few seconds. “I didn’t expect that from you, honestly.” Holding a hand over my heart, I feign offense, and their eyes blow wide. “Not in a bad way. Not at all.”
Chuckling, I shake my head. “Hey, no offense taken. What about you?”
“I’m an art major. So basically, the dream is to one day sell my paintings and make a living.” They shrug. “But I know that may not be realistic. So, starving artist it is.”
I like that; that they’re so unashamedly pursuing their dreams. “I think that’s really awesome.” Parker’s answering smile is its own form of art. “Candy and true crime?”
They laugh, sitting back and handing me the remote. “Sounds good to me.”