Chapter 17
Parker
“Sucks that Landon couldn’t come.”
Ben frowns. “I know. I think it’s sweet that he’s trying to be brave, but it might be too much for him still.”
I sigh, like the clearly lovesick idiot I am. “Is it stupid that I’m gonna miss him?”
Ben opens the door to West’s building, ushering me in ahead of him. When the door shuts behind him, he places a hand on the small of my back. “No. I’m gonna miss him too, but we’ll see him after.”
It’s football night at West’s apartment. I’m not sure how it’s gonna go. Ben’s lap is my favorite seat in the house, and what am I supposed to do with that in front of West and Darcy? I trust both of them. Darcy more than West, of course, but still.
West is a good guy, and he was ready to defend Darcy when Marcus was being a dickhead, so that counts for something.
Ben knocks on West’s door, and when it swings open, I glance past him, looking for Darcy. Between the art show and getting sick, we haven’t seen as much of each other as I’d like.
“Darcy’s not here yet, but he will be soon.”
I nod. “Sounds good.”
He and Ben do some strange handshake-bro-hug thing, and West ushers us inside.
“I’m just gonna go to my room for a second, and I’ll be right back out. Make yourselves at home,” West says, picking up something from the armrest of the couch and heading into the hallway.
Ben nods, taking my hand, and leads me to the couch.
We sit close, which I happen to really enjoy, but I don’t really know what we can do and what we can’t. We haven’t had a boundaries talk yet. “Do you think we’re allowed to be close without Landon?”
Ben hums. “What do you mean, Cotton Candy?”
I let out a huff. “Like kissing. Do we all need to be together for stuff like that?”
“I’m not sure, really. That’s something we should all talk about together. Tonight, maybe?”
The door swings open, and Darcy walks in. “Hey, everyone.”
“He’s in his room,” I say. When Darcy disappears into the bedroom, I move a little closer to Ben, lowering my voice. “I think tonight would be good.” Mostly because I’m not sure I want to put the talk off.
“Tonight,” Ben echoes.
“I just want to know what to expect, you know? I’ve never been in a situation like this.” Scrunching my nose up, I shrug. “Like, how do you even date two people at once?”
“I think it’s probably up to the people involved. It’s not something I’ve ever navigated either, but…” Ben trails off. “I think the idea of you and Lan together without me is hot, but you may not feel that way. Or he might not.”
“Exactly.”
I don’t really know how I’d feel about it.
Maybe it would be one of those things where I’d have to just see.
I’d like to think I wouldn’t be upset, but the ugly jealousy that I felt when Ben and Landon kissed before makes me think maybe I won’t be able to handle it.
Then again, I didn’t have any security. Maybe if I did, it wouldn’t bother me.
“Definitely tonight,” I say softly.
Ben opens his mouth when a quiet moan echoes through the apartment, followed by a louder one.
My eyes widen. “Ew. What the fuck?”
Ben lets out a laugh. “Ew? That’s rich coming from you.”
I narrow my eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You literally made Darcy listen to you ‘having sex.’”
There’s another moan and the rumbling of West’s voice.
“I wasn’t actually having sex, though,” I hiss, glancing at the hallway as another rough sound carries from the room to us.
Ben adjusts himself, and I scoff. “Is this turning you on? Really?”
“It’s not turning you on?”
Well, I don’t have anything to say about that because, yeah, kind of.
Ben nudges me. “It’s okay, Park. Sex sounds are sexy. It’s normal. You sure as fuck turned me on when you were making them.”
That surprises me. “Really?”
He laughs. “Duh. You got Lan so worked up he had to go jerk off in your bathroom.”
My jaw drops open in shock. “He did not.”
“Mmm. He did. And I can’t even blame him.”
I shove at his arm. “I’m gonna torture Darcy for this when he comes out.”
West moans again, and I pull my phone out, shooting off a text to Landon in our group chat.
Me
Can I sit in Ben’s lap?
Landon
uhh yes? what kind of question is that?
“You heard the man, Cotton Candy.” Ben grabs me, manhandling me until I’m straddling his lap.
He was not kidding about being turned on, and his hard dick is pressing against my ass. I shimmy on it a little because I’m a fucking menace like that, smiling to myself when he inhales a sharp breath. “You like that?” I whisper.
Ben lets out a soft moan near my ear that has my stomach tightening. “You know I do, Cotton Candy.” The sounds ratchet up, and Ben smirks at me, his eyes twinkling with humor. “It’s gonna be fun watching you tease them.”
“It’s gonna be fun doing it, to be honest.”
Finally, fucking finally, the moans cut off, and I start slow clapping, waiting until the two of them are in my line of sight before whistling dramatically. “Damn, West. You sound hot as fuck when you come.”
Ben laughs, and I almost break character, but Darcy growls at me. “Parker. Enough.”
I shrug. Maybe I started this with my phone call, but still. “What? He does. You’re denying it?”
Darcy darts forward, flicking me on the forehead. “Of course I’m not denying it. Keep your mouth shut. Stop worrying about what West sounds like when he comes, and worry about Ben, yeah?”
I roll my eyes with a huff. Fuck, I wish I knew what Ben sounded like when he comes. “So touchy.”
“Nothing to say, Ben?” West asks, eyeing Ben warily.
Ben tightens his grip on my body. “Nope. Why? Do you want me to tell you how hot you sound too? Is the good professor not doing a good job praising you?”
Redirecting his ire to West, Darcy glares. “Look what you started.”
If there’s one thing Ben wasn’t lying about, it was that it was hot. Now I want to get back to Landon so we can have this talk even more. “Ugh. You two idiots have me horny.” Leaning close to Ben, I whisper, “Should we take over West’s bedroom?”
Ben’s eyes widen, his cock jerking against my ass
“Ew. No. You’re not fucking in my bedroom.”
Well, that’s just rude. Not that I would anyway. “So, are you fucking in your bedroom, then?”
“Shut the fuck up, Parker,” Darcy snaps.
“Jesus. You’re so mean to me.” Fuck, I went too far. Climbing off Ben’s lap, I sit next to him on the couch. “Let’s watch football, since you want to be all grumpy.”
I’m gonna have to apologize to Darcy for sure. Dammit, why don’t I ever know when to quit?
We all lapse into awkward silence as the game starts. I kind of want to leave now. Between pushing too hard and wanting to get to Landon, I’m just ready to go.
The tension in the room keeps building, and by halftime, even West seems to be grumpy.
“What’s wrong?” Darcy asks him, clearly picking up the same thing as me.
“Nothing,” West says, but it sounds like a lie even to me.
“Are you sure?”
“Yup. I’m fine.”
Ben snorts. “Says no one ever when they’re actually fine.”
“Well, in my case, I mean it,” West snaps.
Well, this officially sucks. I know I didn’t exactly make things great, but this seems like something else.
I’m no expert in relationships. Fucking clearly, but I wish those two would just talk to each other.
Darcy, especially. It wasn’t my place to push, and I know that, but he can’t hide his preferences from West forever, and I feel like that’s what he’s doing.
I almost laugh at myself. Hello, pot. Meet kettle.
At the end of the third quarter, I stand, ready to leave. “Well, I think I’m gonna get out of here. Ben?”
Ben jumps up, just as ready as me. “I go where you go, Park.”
I can’t help but smile even as I roll my eyes. “You two need to work your shit out. It’s so awkward here today.”
“I agree,” Ben says. “And you were worried about my relationship with Park making things weird between you and Darcy. You’re the only person I know who can get laid and come out grumpier than when you went in.”
I damn near run out the door with Ben right on my heels. “Fuck,” I say as soon as I step into the hallway. “That was my fault, wasn’t it?”
Ben shakes his head. “I don’t think so. Maybe with Darcy, but not with West. Something else is going on.”
I’m still gonna call Darcy later and apologize and promise to never act like that again where West is concerned. But in the meantime… “What did you mean West was worried about our relationship?”
He sighs. “I’m smitten, Park. It’s easy to see. West saw it, and he worried that maybe we’d make things awkward in our newly combined friend group.”
I swallow hard. “Do you think we will?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I have no intention to.”
I’m still considering that when Ben slips his hand into mine. “Wanna text Landon and see if he’s ready to come over?”
I nod, taking my phone out of my back pocket. Instead of texting, I hit the call button.
After a couple of rings, he answers. “Hey, Lovebug.”
My heart gives a little pang. “Hey, we’re heading back to my apartment. Wanna meet us there?”
“Sounds good. I’m on my way now.”
“See you soon,” I say softly, my stomach flipping.
By the time we make it to my apartment, Landon is already sitting on the floor outside my door. He stands when he sees us, his eyes falling to our clasped hands as a small smile spreads across his lips.
“Hey, you two.”
“Hi,” I breathe. God, I’ve fallen so far. “I missed you.” Well, shit. Landon’s eyes widen, his grin growing. “In a normal, non-clingy way. The normal amount of missing someone you do. You know? Not like… It’s not—”
Ben’s warm chuckle has heat burning my cheeks.
“I missed you too, Lovebug.”
“I also missed you,” Ben chimes in. “For what it’s worth.”
“And I also missed you,” Landon says.
For a second, we just stand in the hallway like a bunch of goofy asses. I huff. Jesus. “Okay, let’s go in. We need to have a grown-up talk.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound good,” Landon says, but he and Ben follow me into the apartment.
Ben shuts the door behind us. “I don’t think it’s a bad talk. Just need to discuss boundaries and stuff.”
“Boundaries,” Landon echoes.
I drop my keys onto the coffee table, then sit on the couch, patting the spots on either side of me. “Yeah, boundaries. Like, is it safe to assume I can always crawl into Ben’s lap?” I pause, glancing at Landon. “Or yours, without asking permission each time.”
Landon’s nose scrunches. “Permission?”
“Yes,” Ben says, folding his hands on his lap. I almost giggle at how serious he looks. “We just need to make sure we’re all on the same page about what’s okay and what’s not, so no one gets hurt feelings or feels left out or anything like that.”
Landon shrugs. “You don’t need any permission from me. You all can do whatever. With or without me.”
“Anything?” Ben asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Am I not supposed to feel that way?”
Ben shakes his head. “There’s no wrong way to feel. I feel the same way.”
I swallow hard. I’m not sure I feel that way.
“What about you, Lovebug?”
“Yeah, whatever you two want.”
Landon clocks my shit immediately. Of course he does. “Uh. No. That’s not how this works.”
I sigh, glancing down at my lap. “I’d like to be okay with that, and I think I probably am. But I don’t know…”
Ben grabs my hand, toying with my fingers. They’re not covered in paint for once. “What don’t you know, Cotton Candy? This won’t work without communication.”
“I know.” I sigh again. Conversations like this make me feel itchy.
It requires a certain level of vulnerability that I’m not always comfortable showing.
“I’m not sure how I’ll feel if you two have sex without me,” I finally admit.
“Kissing would be fine, I think. But the thought of you two having sex without me makes me feel kinda icky.”
Gentle fingers cup my chin, tilting my head up. Landon’s warm eyes meet mine. “Okay. No sex without you. But for the record, I don’t mind if that rule only applies to Ben and me.”
Ben squeezes my fingers. “Same. The idea of you two having sex is so hot. Wouldn’t bother me.”
I scoff. “Well, that’s not fair.”
“Who says?” Ben asks. “It’s our rules. We get to make them whatever we want.”
Ugh. I hate that. “Okay… what if we try it tentatively instead?”
Landon cocks his head. “What do you mean?”
Hate this whole thing. “Like, I don’t want to hold anyone back. I want our relationship to be equal and fair. So what if we just go all in and—”
Ben cuts me off. “No. Not if you’re uncomfortable. Can’t speak for Lan, but I’m not gonna lose you over sex. It’s not that deep to me.”
Landon nods. “Agreed.”
I bite my bottom lip, my stomach tightening with nerves.
“I don’t really want there to be rules, or you can’t or I can.
I want the two of you to be free to build your own thing outside of our thing.
” I take a deep breath. “So, how about we try to do it with open and free rules, and then if something needs to change, we can address it?”
Landon and Ben share a glance.
“I just don’t want us to start with uneven footing.”
Landon sighs. “Okay, so how about that-adjacent?”
“Elaborate?” Ben asks, and I nod.
“Okay, so how about if we think something is gonna happen without the other—any of us—we just talk first, like you did today asking if you could sit in Ben’s lap?”
I nod slowly. “Okay… Yeah, I think that could work.” Especially because we can take it on a case-by-case basis. “Ben?”
“Works for me, Cotton Candy.” He winks. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m still half-hard from West and Darcy, and I’d love to put the new agreement to use.”
Landon laughs. “What do you mean? Why are you hard from West and Darcy?”
“We heard them having sex,” I hiss, far too scandalized for someone who gave them both so much shit.
“And it was hot or something?” Landon asks, still laughing.
“No,” I say right as Ben says, “Definitely.”
Landon laughs harder, but Ben gives my hand a little shake and narrows his eyes at me. “Don’t lie, Cotton Candy. You were in my lap. I know damn well you were into it.”
I shrug, but my face goes hot.
“Oh, this is too good.” Landon pats his thighs. “Come here, Lovebug. Hearing Ben talk about you being in his lap is making me jealous.”
I scramble into his lap, straddling his thighs like I did Ben.
Ben scoffs. “What am I? Chopped liver?”
Landon wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me flush against his body. “What’s wrong, Ben? You wanna sit in my lap too?”
Ben shoves his arm. “No. Jackass. I’ll take a kiss, though, if you’re interested.”
I barely have time to blink before Landon is fisting Ben’s shirt and yanking him closer and slamming their mouths together.
Fuck. That’s so hot.
The two of them fight for dominance, teeth clacking and tongues exploring, and all I can do is watch, entranced and turned on as they share sloppy kisses and muted moans.
My hips take on a mind of their own, rocking forward to rub against Landon’s stomach. Without breaking his kiss, Landon drops a hand from my back to my ass, using his strong grip to urge me along.
What have I gotten myself into?