Chapter 27
Parker
Staring into the mirror in my bathroom, I snap a photo of myself before sending it to Darcy.
Darcy
Whoa. Looks really good. Why the change?
I run my fingers through my hair, watching the light shift off the brand-new streaks in it. Getting rid of the pink damn near took an act of God, but the purple turned out really well. There are two streaks this time, side by side. One pale lilac and the other a deeper plum.
There’s hair color under my nails and even a little on my forehead. I’m a messy person, whether with paint or hair color. No way I was gonna pull this off without getting it all over me.
Taking a deep breath, I respond to Darcy.
Me
They’re the colors I feel the most with Ben and Landon.
Darcy
That’s so sweet, Park. I really love it.
Me
Thank you.
Pocketing my phone, I stare at my reflection. I want to be more open with Darcy; I do. We’ve been friends for so long now that it should be easy, but it’s a work in progress. I’m a work in progress, and I know I’ll get there in time. This is a massive step in the right direction.
I deserve that. I deserve to be my full, authentic self with the people who love me. Not everyone is Lincoln, and I know that now. But more than that, I believe it.
“Cotton Candy?”
I smile to myself as I step out of the bathroom and into the hall. “Hi,” I say, waving at Ben.
He glances up from his phone, then does a double take when he sees me, his jaw dropping open. “Hi, yourself.” Stepping toward me, he cups my face in his hands, then backs me up against the wall.
I can’t help but laugh.
Ben slides a hand through my hair, letting his fingers toy with the brand-new purple strands. “So pretty. I love it.”
“Thank you,” I say, grinning.
Ben dips his head, sealing his lips over mine. I moan against his mouth, trying to wiggle closer to him even though he damn near has me pinned to the wall. Ben pulls away, resting his lips on mine. “You’re so beautiful, Parker. Inside and out, you know that?”
My heart tumbles, and my stomach right along with it. “Thank you.”
Shaking his head, Ben smiles, and I can feel the ghost of it against my lips. “I can’t believe we’re here like this after our start.”
“Our start?”
“Our failed hookup. I was fully content to be your friend, but I’m so glad I won you over.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You got me caught.” Smirking up at him, I raise an eyebrow. “Now what are you gonna do with me?”
Leaning down, he grips my thighs, lifting me and pinning me to the wall, much like he did the first time we were here. He drops me a bit, lining me up so he can thrust his hardening cock against mine. “I guess I’m gonna have to keep you,” he whispers.
“Oh? You guess? Tough decision, I’m sure.”
He kisses me gently, taking his time to explore my mouth. His fingers tangle in my hair as he cradles my body close to his. It’s something I’ve noticed he does a lot. This. Taking his time. Making me feel wanted and cared for.
When he breaks the kiss, he brushes my nose with his. “No. Not a tough decision at all.” He gasps. “Wait a second.”
“For what?” I ask.
“You’ve shown us your art.”
I scrunch my nose up, confused. “Uh, yeah? A bunch, actually.” Hell, two nights ago, he and Landon sat behind me in the living room, studying while I was painting.
“I want to see the sketch you did of me.”
I laugh. “Alright.”
“Wait, really?”
I nod. “Yeah, why not? It’s not like my art’s much of a secret these days. At least, not where you and Lan are concerned.”
He beams at me, his smile so bright and joyful that my heart nearly explodes. “Okay, I’d love to see it then.”
He stares at me, and I stare at him, and after a few seconds, I grin. “You’ll have to put me down first. I’m good, but I’m not materialize a sketch with my mind good.”
With a laugh, he carefully slides me down his body, steadying me when my feet hit the ground. I take his hand, leading him into my bedroom.
My sketchbook is in my bag. I don’t use it as much as I probably should, but paint is my favorite medium by far, and I find myself gravitating to that more than anything else.
Digging it out, I open it. The paper is detached and stuffed in the front where I shoved it after Landon knocked it out of my hand. I try handing it to Ben. He holds eye contact for a second, then takes it from me and looks at it.
I can’t help but smile when his lips quirk up. “This is really good, Cotton Candy.”
“I’m not Cotton Candy anymore,” I argue, my stomach going hot at the honest compliment and the reverence in his tone as he said it.
“You’ll always be Cotton Candy to me. I already told you that.” He lifts his gaze from the drawing, locking eyes with me. “Or I can call you baby instead.”
My heart thumps hard. “Ew. That’s gross.”
“Is it?” Ben asks, quirking an eyebrow.
I stick my tongue out in fake disgust. “So gross. Don’t call me that.” Please call me that.
He lays the sketch carefully on the foot of my bed. “You don’t want me to call you baby?”
I shake my head. “No way.”
Brushing his thumb along my jaw, he searches my eyes. “I think you’re lying. I think you want to be my baby. My pretty baby.”
My stomach goes wild, desire twisting it all up. I whimper against my will, and Ben’s eyes flash.
“Fine. Maybe I like it,” I concede.
He chuckles, but it’s breathless. “I promise to use it sparingly. Wouldn’t want to gross you out too badly.”
“Deal,” I breathe.
“God, you are so fucking perfect, Park. Everything I never knew I wanted.”
I bite my lip. “What about Landon?”
He hums. “Of course, Landon too, but I’m not talking about Landon right now. I’m talking about you. Sweet Cotton Candy Parker, who caught my eye from the very first second I saw you.”
Leaning in, he drags his lips over mine. “Telling you how I feel about you takes nothing away from how I feel about Lan, Parker. You know that, right? And how I feel about him takes nothing away from you. Do you care about me less because you also care about him?”
The thought alone makes my stomach revolt. “Of course not.”
“Exactly.”
He seals his lips over mine, and I melt. I’m glad when he wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me in closer to him. His tongue swipes over mine, and my entire body goes warm, pink and red swirling behind my closed eyes with purple and gold dancing alongside them.
If I really think about it, I can’t believe we’re here either.
I thought I’d lost my chance. And then I met Landon, and he won me over with his sweet smiles, his adorable blush, and his uncanny ability to see the colors I try to hide.
But I also saw the spark between him and Ben.
And I didn’t think I’d stand even the smallest chance.
I never thought I’d be able to have them both. Not like this. Never. I didn’t think I could get so lucky.
But Ben looks at me in my own special way, and Landon does the same. I don’t feel other or less than with either of them. I’m just… part of them. Part of what makes us… us. And that’s so fucking special.
I break away with a gasp. “I really can’t describe how I feel about you.”
Ben inhales a deep breath, brushing his lips back and forth over mine slowly. “If it’s anything like how I feel about you… it’s love, baby. That feeling is love.”
It really is. Telling them I was falling in love with them was scary enough on its own. I’m not ready to tell them I am in love with them. Not yet.
“Are you ready to go pick up Landon and hit the road?”
I shake my head. “Not yet. I just want to be here with you for a little longer.”
Sitting down on the edge of my bed, Ben pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me and holding me close to his body.
I let my breathing sync with his, let myself melt into the warmth of his body.
Let the kaleidoscope of colors dance and play, creating the most gorgeous painting yet in my mind.
Landon grabs my hand as we make the short walk up the porch to my parents’ house.
I pause, turning to look back at him. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head, but his throat bobs. “Nothing.”
Ben leans closer to him. “Something, Cutie. What’s going on?”
“I’m just worried, I think,” he finally says, eyes darting between mine and Ben’s.
“Worried about what?” I ask.
Looking past us toward the house, Landon sighs. “Your parents. What if they don’t like me? What if they aren’t happy with you dating two people?”
Ben and I share a look, and I sigh, running my fingers over Landon’s. “You’re impossible to dislike, Lan. I tried.”
His eyes go wide. “Did you?”
I laugh, rolling my eyes. “I mean, yeah. It didn’t work out for me like… even a little. And I know my parents, okay? They won’t care about the configuration of my relationship. Only that I’m happy. I promise.”
The sad laugh Landon lets out makes my heart ache.
“That’s such a strange concept to me. I’ve been avoiding my mom’s calls like the plague.
I can’t handle hearing the disappointment in her voice when I tell her, ‘No, I actually haven’t gone to any church meetings,’ and ‘No, I’m not going to go to any church meetings. ’”
“Have you told her those things?” Ben asks softly, and Landon shakes his head. “Then how do you know?”
Landon’s shoulders slump. “She talks about her religion like it saved her, and in some ways, it did. But I think she’s waiting for her religion to save me. And I don’t need to be saved from anything.”
“Of course you don’t.”
We all turn at the sound of my mom’s voice. Her blue eyes sparkle when she sees me, and she rushes off the porch to wrap me in her arms. “Oh, my Parker. I’m so glad you’re home.”
I bury my face in her hair, inhaling the warm scent of vanilla and home. “Hey, Momma,” I whisper, wrapping my free arm around her.
Landon tries to drop my hand, but I hold his tighter, not letting go.
After soaking in Mom hugs for a second, I pull away, giving her a big smile. “Mom, this is Landon and Ben,” I say, gesturing to each of them. “My boyfriends. This is my mom, Elizabeth.”