Chapter Twenty-Five
Without the dampening, medicinal blanket soothing her thoughts, Verity's dreams became increasingly dark and she found herself back in the cupboard of her childhood home; the leathery smell of old shoes and damp coats thickened by the darkness surrounding her. Small limbs squeezed into the accumulated clutter she held her breath and tried not to make a sound.
The world outside her hiding place had been rendered down to an inch wide strip of light and staccato movement. Violent images flickered across her field of vision and then vanished. One small fist stuffed into her mouth she closed her eyes as the voices grew louder.
What happened next, was only regurgitated from her memory as a flood of disconnected noises: pleas, curses, demands and screams mixed with the heavy crashes of furniture being overturned. Then a single gunshot and the sickening thud of a body hitting the floor.
The house fell silent and fear released its hold on her, allowing her to crawl over the cold tiles towards the still warm body splayed over the floor. Her child sized hands plucking at her mother’s shirt as the pool of blood spread around them.
Verity woke with a start, and switched on the lamp to banish the shadows where the dream still lingered. With a wince she pushed herself back against the headboard and pulled her knees up to her chest. Swallowing hard she stared at her shaking hands, half expecting them to be covered in blood.
The dream had faded over the years and it was an unpleasant shock to have it suddenly flare into life once more.
Needing to escape the suffocating grip of the past she kicked back the covers and got to her feet. For a few minutes she paced the room, each circuit bringing her closer to the door before turning away. She halted in the middle of the room, staring at the bed.
She needed sleep. She knew that, but she still couldn’t bring herself to get back under the covers and turn out the light. The dream was waiting for her; she could hear it breathing into life every time she closed her eyes.
She needed something to drive the bleak thoughts out of her head.
As she began another circuit of the room her eyes came to rest on the doorway and she hesitated.
Something… or someone?
Giving her head a firm shake she turned away. The last thing she wanted was to admit that she needed Cross in any way, even if it was just as a means to anchor herself more firmly to the present.
Her footsteps brought her back to the bed but turned away with a shudder, the tempting lure of warm covers losing the battle to the fear of turning off the light and being alone in the dark.
She didn’t want to be alone.
The first step towards the door was followed by another.
She needed someone to share the darkness and banish the ghosts.
Damn it, he owed her that much! she thought, taking another step.
Knowing she’d change her mind if she thought about it too hard, she turned the handle.
In the doorway to the living room she paused and frowned. Cross looked oddly dishevelled. The t-shirt and sweatpants, a discordant, causal note and his normally sleek hair tumbled over his forehead as if he’d been dragging his hands through it.
Something about that unexpectedly tousled appearance made her want to run her own fingers through his hair and push it back from his face.
Sensing her presence he turned his head and her throat dried. That gaze was as direct as ever. But there was a warmth in those bright, blue eyes she’d not seen before.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked.
Verity shook her head.
“The doctor left some more sedatives if you need–” He broke off as she shook her head again, more firmly this time. He tilted the almost empty glass in his hand. “Did you want a drink?”
She crossed the room and took the glass from his hand. Staring into the amber liquid she let it swirl and then set it down on a side table, untouched.
His shoulders lifted in a heavy sigh. “Not sure I have much else to offer.”
Verity gave a half laugh, the sudden sound surprising her and then she spoke for the first time.
“We both know that’s not true.”
Expression growing more puzzled, Cross tilted his face as she moved closer. Neither of them spoke as she leaned forward, bracing herself on the arms of the chair and he didn’t shift an inch as she climbed astride his lap. But when her knees tightened either side of his hips and she lowered her weight, he closed his eyes, a deep line creasing between his brows.
“I don’t think this is a good idea, Verity.”
“Then don’t think,” she replied, slowly circling her hips.
His hands balled into fists and she could see the muscle twitching in his cheek as he fought for control, but other parts of his anatomy were responding far more favourably to her suggestion.
Jaw rigid, he shook his head. “You’re not yourself.”
“What do you care? I’m present and fully in the moment. You saw to that. And it’s not like I’m asking for commitment. All I want is a distraction. Wasn’t that the deal in the first place?”
Eyes still closed he shook his head again, “We haven’t even talked about last–” He broke off with a grunt as she leaned closer and sharply bit his earlobe.
“I don’t want to talk,” she said, her words a low growl against his throat.
His hands closed around her waist, drawing her gently away. His eyes were open now, she noticed, that brilliant blue gaze burning into hers.
“Then what do you want, Verity?”
With almost steady fingers she took hold of the hem of the shirt she was wearing and pulled it slowly over her head.
“I want you to take that big, beautiful cock and fuck me to sleep,” she said.
With a groan Cross wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her against him as he got to his feet.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked one last time.
In lieu of an answer she wrapped her arms tight around his neck and pulled his face closer, her cheek pressed against his so he couldn’t see the relief in her eyes as he carried her through into the bedroom.
As he leaned over the bed Verity couldn’t suppress the brief squeak of alarm, putting out one hand to brace for impact. She felt Cross chuckled, the vibration rippling through his muscles and into her.
“Don’t worry,” he said, “I’m not going to drop you. Just deciding where I want to start.” Tilting his head, he considered the bed and then nodded to himself. One arm wrapped tightly around Verity’s waist, he turned and lowered himself onto the mattress, shifting them across until he was lying in the centre with Verity straddling his hips.
Naked above him, Verity could feel random shivers of excitement twitching her limbs, but Cross seemed in no hurry to start.
Was he expecting her to take the lead? That might make a nice change, she thought. This what she wanted, after all? Just a warm body she could use as needed, to banish the darkness and the past. Teeth worrying her lower lip, she reached for the hem of his t-shirt, wanting to see the firm muscle that lay beneath.
But he grabbed her wrists, holding them away from him as he shook his head. “Not yet.”
She should have known better, she thought, trying not to squirm as his blistering gaze swept down her body, puckering her nipples and sending ripples of excitement through her stomach. She wasn’t sure what annoyed her more, his obsessive need to always be in control, or the immediate flood of warmth between her legs, informing her just how much she liked it.
Once assured that his control had been reasserted, he released her hands and reached for her waist, light fingers gently stroking the soft curve into her hips.
Fingers balling into fists at her sides, Verity arched back beneath the simple touch.
His hands descended lower, reaching around behind to cup her bottom. As they skimmed over the bruised skin and Verity flinched, anticipating the pain that would follow. But the touch remained so light she could barely feel each stroke, just the cool sensation soothing her heated flesh prompting a shiver which was immediately followed by another flood of heat to her core.
Not sure if she wanted him to stop or give her more, she wriggled her hips, but the groan that left her throat did not sound like ‘no’.
“It occurs to me,” he said, the words murmured in a casual tone, “that I’ve never taken the opportunity to taste you. The gentle, stroking caress paused. “That was an oversight. And one I would very much like to correct.”
He fell still and Verity realised he was waiting for a response from her.
Fighting down the urge to sob with relief or need or both, she managed to mutter, “Well, I’m not stopping you.”
Shifting her weight, she started to struggle from his lap when he shook his head and took hold of her hand, pushing it between her thighs.
“I think I’d like you to feed me that first taste. Show me how much you want this.”
Beneath her fingers, Verity could feel the immediate throb from her core at his suggestion. There was no denying exactly how much she wanted this and she swallowed hard, an embarrassed blush heating her cheeks as she realised just how wet and ready she already was - he could probably feel that liquid heat soaking through his sweatpants and caressing his cock.
His long, thick and very heavy cock, she realised as she shifted back into position, widening her knees, so she could reach deeper into her drenched folds. Feeling the rigid length of him, pressing against her core she smiled. At least she wasn’t the only one fully turned on. Her grin widened and she rolled her hips a fraction more than was necessary to settle herself, feeling him twitch beneath her.
Cross tutted softly. “Patience. I promise it will be worth the wait.”
Biting her lip to keep from moaning, Verity refocused on her task and slid two fingers inside her damp, quivering channel. Eyes closed, a light moan escaped her throat as she felt her own muscles clenching around her fingers.
“That’s it,” Cross murmured, his grip tightening on her hips, “now show me just how ready you are.”
It should not be possible to be this turned on before he’d even touched her, but regardless of that fact, Verity was panting softly as she withdrew her hand. Bracing herself on his chest, she leaned forward and lightly brushed her dripping fingers over his mouth, glossing his lips with her slick.
Eyes closed, Cross inhaled, a low growl rumbling through his chest, as he seized hold of her wrist and drew her fingers into his mouth.
This time, Verity could not suppress the whimper of need as his tongue lashed against her skin and his cheeks hollowed, sucking deeper.
“You taste even better than I dreamed,” he murmured, returning her hand to his chest.
Thoughts still reeling, Verity responded without thinking, “You dream about me?”
“Oh yes.” His eyes met hers and he gave a lazy grin. The tempting, teasing expression was unfamiliar on his face making him look years younger, but the hunger in his eyes was instantly recognisable and she felt another rush of liquid heat to her core. “You would not believe the things I’ve done to you in my dreams.”
Breath now coming in shaky gasps she swallowed hard and fumbled for something to say to that. “Like what?” was all she could come up with and she winced as his smile grew broader.
“Oh, dark and delicious things, that you’ll thoroughly enjoy… but let’s not spoil the surprise.”
Head spinning with lust, Verity clutched at the solid wall of his chest, her shoulders heaving around each gasp leaving her lungs. Summoning the last shreds of self control she raised her chin and met his gaze with a challenge of her own.
“Where do we start?”
Cross chuckled softly. “We’re already started, but now I want to drink straight from the source.”
Before she could respond, his fingers tightened around her hips and he dragged her up his body until she was straddling his face. Off balance, she lurched forward, clutching at the headboard for support.
Placing his hands on the inside of her knees he gently pressed her legs apart, lowering her slowly onto his waiting mouth.
Shivers of anticipation ran up and down her limbs as the gap closed with agonising slowness, and then when his mouth finally met her soaked, aching flesh she jumped as if electrocuted.
Cross tsked softly and then slid his hand round to the unmarked skin on her hips and drew her closer. Holding her steady he ran the pointed tip of his tongue up the seam of her sex and Verity arched back, her fingers clenched around the rail of the headboard, clinging on for dear life.
Stubble scratched the delicate vee of flesh as he shifted his face, exploring further. A low growl vibrated against her skin and Verity shivered as the sound resonated along her nerve endings, spreading like wildfire through her stomach and down her limbs.
Light fingers stroked over her bottom and down the backs of her thighs. Then, the return pass brought them up between her legs and Verity whimpered as his thumbs brushed firmly against her swollen lips, pressing them open. For a moment all she could feel was his burning gaze sweeping over her flesh. Just when she was starting to twitch from embarrassment and arousal, the flat of his tongue pressed hard against her centre, licking a broad path that ended in a flick to her clit.
The headboard creaked as Verity arched back with a groan, her knuckles white around the wooden bar.
For the longest time he seemed content to lap the sticky evidence of her arousal, his tongue dipping into her core and then tracing lines over her lips and around her throbbing clit. Each touch sparked new fires but remained too light to allow her to explode completely.
It wasn’t enough and Verity wriggled against his hold, trying to grind her needy flesh against his face. When his nose bumped against her clit she almost wept with relief, but then he lifted away once more and the teasing touch began again.
Head now resting against her hands Verity groaned and muttered incoherent words that might have pleas or threats, even she couldn’t tell. Then Cross tightened his fingers, pulling her more firmly onto his open mouth and as his tongue thrust inside her she lost the ability to form words at all.
She gave a whine of disappointment as he lifted her away but it ended in a shriek as his lips settled around her clit, sucking gently as two long fingers traced up her inner thigh and then sank deep inside her. His tongue flicked mercilessly over that tortured bundle of nerves and Verity felt her vision whiteout under the sudden flood of sensation.
The first peak crashed into her like a body blow, but before it even had the chance to recede his searching fingers curled against her g-spot and pressed hard, triggering a second. Eyes screwed closed, Verity rode out the second wave, almost painful in its intensity. But he wasn’t done with her yet and she moaned as he sucked harder on her now swollen, over-sensitive bud, drawing it between his teeth, and forcing a third climax from her strung out system. Panting for breath she slumped forward, muscles no longer under her control.
As she slowly drifted back to consciousness she became aware he’d moved again, his body now crouching over hers as he reached for her wrists.
“You can let go now,” he said, as he peeled her fingers away from the headboard.
For a moment Verity struggled against that suggestion, almost afraid that her grip on the wood was the only thing keeping her anchored to the bed and terrified of spinning off into the darkness once released.
Pushing the pillows out of the way Cross ripped off his clothing and knelt back on his heels. “Hold onto me,” he urged, placing her hands on his shoulders as he lifted her onto his lap. Careful to keep his grip away from her bruised flesh, he held her above him and groaned as the velvet head of his erection swept through the damp folds of her sex.
Suspended above him Verity clutched at his arms and tried to remember how to breathe. She could feel her arousal running in slick rivulets down his cock, preparing her way. She was going to need it , she thought; he felt burningly hot and skin-splittingly hard against her core. With inhuman patience and control he lowered her slowly onto his waiting shaft.
Verity groaned at the now familiar stretch; her nerve endings both welcoming and protesting the intrusion. Pleasure and pain warred briefly inside her, then pleasure won, ripples of desire spreading out from her centre.
Her weight settled onto her knees as he sank deep inside her and her fingers tightened on his shoulders as the ripples became waves.
To begin with, he let her set her own pace, seeming content to hold position as she circled her hips and rocked him deeper, revelling in the sense of fullness. Once her body had adjusted to his presence her pace quickened.
Eyes locked onto his, she tightened her grip and rode him steadily towards the peak, angling her hips so each thrust hit that sweet spot that sent sparks streaking across her vision. As she felt her next climax start to uncoil in her stomach her coordination wavered and she clung to him, desperately chasing the swell of sensation.
One hand braced on the headboard he wrapped his other arm around her waist and fucked up into her with dizzying force.
The pressure built. She could feel it coiling around them, cinching them together as they both began to shake. His sharp thrusts became more erratic and his hand slid lower, fingers digging into the fresh bruises as he jerked inside her. That bright flare of pain was enough to tip Verity over the edge and she threw back her head with a scream as the orgasm crashed over her.
Spent, they collapsed together onto the bed, a tangle of limbs and destroyed bedding. The headboard was now tilted at a strange angle and Verity noticed they’d managed to displace one one rail completely. She was considering whether to point it out and wondering if he would find it funny when sleep claimed her abruptly and the thought was lost.