Chapter 5 #2
Watts loomed closer. I pulled out my phone, “This is the schedule for the parenting class.”
My phone hit the dirt. I watched it tumble in an arc and land as he grabbed me roughly .
He jerked me back by the arms and shook me.
My teeth clattered together, my head swimming in shock as he dragged me close.
I staggered back, but he had me around the neck.
His hands, hard and pitiless, closed around my throat.
I tried to scream, but I couldn’t. He was squeezing tight, gagging me, and cutting off my air, my eyes throbbing.
I drew in what little air I could get in high gasps, tears pouring down my face.
I was already getting woozy and weak. I gripped his wrists ineffectually.
He was so much stronger than me. He wasn’t nearly as big as Rafe or even Leo, but he was so strong.
I wanted to sob, sink to the ground, beg.
He was going to kill me. His eyes were on my forehead, not even looking at me like I was a person he was killing.
I dug my nails into his wrists, but he didn’t even flinch.
I was supposed to call Leo when I left. But my phone was on the ground, and I was going to die instead.
He’d be so mad at me, I thought vaguely, for not calling him.
And Rafe—Rafe! Rafe had taught me something about chokeholds.
I tried to hold on to the thought, but I was so scared.
I kept trying to back away and couldn’t.
His hands were big and tight around my throat.
It hurt so much that my legs were buckling already.
Step in toward him.
Drop your head straight down.
Dip to the side under his arm and run like hell.
It came back to me. Thank God it came back to me.
I did it fast before I could lose consciousness.
I moved in, dropped my head straight and ducked under his arm.
He was on me then, dragging me to the ground.
It knocked the wind out of me, but I kicked out, scrambled to my feet.
I staggered toward my car, yanked open the door and locked it once I was in.
I started the car and sped off, skidding and weaving until I was on the main road.
I drove like hell all the way to the office.
I stumbled in and started up my computer, pulling up report forms. I found my hands were shaking too hard to even type.
I went into Janet’s office. She was on the phone, but she dropped it at once.
“Jesus, your neck. What happened?”
I tried to answer but my throat felt thick and achy, raw. I managed a rough whisper, “Watts grabbed me. Choked me.”
“Okay, we’re going to the ER. Is there anybody I can call for you?” she asked. I shook my head.
“Can I use your phone? I lost mine when he grabbed me.”
I used hers to text Leo. Lost my phone, but back at the office.
See you at sparring. I didn’t say I was fine because I wasn’t, but I’d get a new phone tomorrow.
I wouldn’t have to face either of the guys till Saturday.
If I’d had to see them or even hear their voices I would’ve crumbled under my thin composure and started bawling.
It was better to keep them at a distance, not to tell them what happened.
Janet took me to the ER herself and filled out a lot of the paperwork on her tablet for me, just asking me the questions.
She was great about everything and she insisted I file a police report.
She called it in and had them send someone to the ER to question me so I wouldn’t have to go into the station to make a statement.
It made me shake just talking about it. I never wanted to think about it again.
She talked about the implications for the case, about discontinuing visitation attempts until an investigation was conducted.
All I could think about was the little girl, how I hadn’t helped her.
I’d just shown up, tried to show her dad a list and nearly gotten myself strangled in the process.
I was sorry, so sorry that I had failed her.
I shook my head again and again, even as the doctor worked me up and talked about bruising and resting and fluids and putting an ice pack on my neck.
Janet took me back to my car and insisted I take the next day off to recover.
I drove home, changed to my pajamas and checked the lock on my door about twenty times.
I couldn’t concentrate on TV or my library book.
I just iced my neck and lay there on the couch under a blanket, scared out of my mind and blaming myself.
Staring in the mirror, I shuddered. The white part of my left eye was almost completely red from the blood vessel that had burst from being strangled.
My face was puffy. Bruising made dark stripes on my neck and cuffed my arms. I showered, wishing I could scrub off the marks he’d left on my skin. When I cried, my throat ached.
The next day I had to make myself go to the police station to sign my statement and answer a few more questions. I wore sunglasses. Everyone at the station probably thought I was a battered wife, I thought. Not that it made any real difference. Bruises were bruises, after all.
Later, I got a replacement phone. I couldn’t make myself eat anything so I just sipped some water.
I huddled under a blanket again with the TV on, desperate for company.
Janet had called to check up on me, but I let it go to voicemail.
She’d think I was resting, not staring crazily at my door like someone was going to burst through it and finish me off.
When Rafe called to see if was coming to spar at the gym, I answered.
Part of me needed to hear his voice, needed to connect with another human. I told him I’d be there.
Instead of my usual tank top and shorts, I put on a t-shirt and zipped a jacket high at my neck. Maybe they’d think I was cold, maybe I was coming down with something and needed the jacket to stay warm. The eye—well, I couldn’t wear sunglasses inside at the gym, so I’d have to say I hurt my eye.
I could claim I poked myself putting on mascara.
Men didn’t know much about makeup so they might believe that I could jab a wand in my eyeball hard enough to burst a blood vessel.
Part of me wanted to curl up and hide, not go out, not let them see me, but the part that craved contact and friendship and the comfort of being with them spoke louder.
I walked into the gym, dropped my bag in the locker room and met them on the mats. I had my back to them, putting on the helmet.
“Here, let me help fasten it,” Rafe said, touching my shoulder. I turned around, determined to brazen it out, daring him to see that I’d been hurt.
“Holy fuck, Lexi, what happened?” he said, his hands on my face, stripping away the guard helmet, touching my cheeks and jaw as if feeling for damage, “who did this?”
“It’s nothing,” I said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Let me see your neck. Someone choked you. Was it the dad? Leo!” he called from across the gym.
Leo came in, still doing curls with a big dumbbell probably showing off, “What?”
“Look at her,” Rafe said, his voice almost accusing. “I thought you said she made it back to the office just fine.”
“I got a text. I figured it was okay. Jesus,” he said when he saw me. He reached for the zipper on my jacket, but I stepped back.
“Whoa,” I said. “I didn’t sign up for the full body inspection.”
“Let me see,” Rafe said. Instead of going for my jacket, he took my hands, inspected the fingertips, my ragged nails, “Defensive injuries.” He shook his head, “You clawed at someone who had a hold of your neck. Have you been to the doctor?”
I nodded.
“Were you going to tell us about it?” Leo said.
I shook my head, my throat tight and thick, unable to speak.
“Come here,” he said. He opened his arms to me. I hung back, resisting. I blinked hard, something making my eyes burn.
“We want to take care of you,” Rafe said, “I know you’ve had trauma here. But we’re not going to let anyone hurt you again. Come back to our place. We’ll talk about it, work out a plan.”
I sniffed mightily because my nose was running.
“Okay,” I said, my voice shaky.
“My truck’s around back,” Rafe said, unwrapping his hands from mine. “Take her on out there. I’ll grab her bag,” he said to Leo.
Leo didn’t hesitate. I thought he was going to put an arm around me and help me to the truck like an invalid. I was wrong. He bent and scooped me up in his arms. I gasped.
“I got you. It’s okay now,” he said. I felt stupid, but I couldn’t help thinking it was nice to be carried, coddled in that way.
He set me down to open the truck and helped me into it.
I slid across to the middle, “We’re going to make a Lexi sandwich,” he teased, “nobody’s going to get near you again. ”
It was true, once Rafe got in the driver’s side I was sandwiched between two big guys, hemmed in and safe. They didn’t live far, but that didn’t stop me from letting my head drift against Rafe’s shoulder as he drove. I may have nodded off. When the truck stopped, I jostled awake .
“My turn,” Rafe said softly, taking me in his arms and carrying me up the steps to their house.
He sat down on their big sectional couch, me in his lap. I stirred against him, my head on his chest. He kissed my forehead.
“We’ve got you. You can rest,” he said. “We’ll talk later.”
“No,” I murmured. “we should talk now.”
“Have you slept since the attack?” Leo said.
“Not really,” I mumbled, “I stare at the door like he’s burst in.”
Leo swore, then said. “You need to stay with us for a while. Until you feel safe again.”
“I feel safe now,” I whispered, nestling against them both. Leo had my legs across his lap, I realized, “you guys make a great bed.”
“Lexi, you need a nap. I’m going to put you in my bed. Is that okay?” Rafe said.