Chapter 18 #2
Aldridge and I had a lot to talk through and truthfully, my persistent second thoughts made me want to say sike real quick.
We were not the same people we were in college, and it was silly to think we could just pick up where we left off.
Maybe what I was feeling for Aldridge was just a spark that would fizzle out given time.
Upstairs I showed him the first of four bedrooms. “This would be a great room for a office or kids’ room.”
“So, are we just going to act like nothing happened?”
I shot him a look which I hoped conveyed this wasn’t the time or the place. “Let’s check out the next bedroom.”
Aldridge planted his feet, blocking the exit. “Fuck the next bedroom Danessa, I wanna talk now.”
I flashed a pained smile at the couple in the corner of the room flipping through records. “Can you keep your voice down?”
“No, I can’t.” The volume of his voice was even louder and echoing off the walls. “You said you wanted to talk, so let’s talk.”
“Talk about what, the herringbone floors?”
“No, not the floors. The fact that you were grinding against my dick the other—.”
“Okay, shhh. We are in mixed company.” I surrendered my hand in the air. “What do you want me to say?” I whispered inches from his face.
“I want you to acknowledge it happened and it wasn’t all some fever dream.”
Exhaling an aggravated breath, I grabbed his arm and proceeded to search for a room we could escape to. I found a small alcove adjacent to the third-floor landing and shoved him inside, closing the door behind us. “I know I said we’d talk but I didn’t mean in a house full of strangers.”
“Fuck these people. I don’t know them. Danessa, all I’ve been able to think about is what happened last week and your text messages—”
“I think we may have let things go too far,” I blurted out.
“Really because in my opinion it didn’t go far enough.”
“Aldridge.”
“I could go further.” He walked over to me, forcing me to retreat until my back was confronted with the solid wood door. “Tell me what you’re thinking?”
“My brain is like soup filled with what ifs.”
“Goddamnit Nessa when I said I was cool with being your friend, I meant it, I really did. But if I’ve unlocked a side quest in which I get to fuck you, I’d like to explore that.”
“There is no scenario in which us sleeping together would be a good idea. It would only make things complicated.” I knew I was giving mixed signals.
A few days ago I was all in and staking claim, and now I was acting like a punk ass bitch.
But I’d had time to think and all I could see were the cons.
“I can do complicated. What I can’t do is pretend.”
“Pretend?”
“Pretend like every time you’re near me I don’t want to grab your face and kiss you. Pretend like I wouldn’t prefer to hear you say my name a few octaves higher and out of breath. Pretend like I don’t imagine how my entire body thrums when I’m inside you. Danessa I—”
“I’m not the same person I was in college. I’ve changed and some of it isn’t for the better.”
“You don’t think I’ve changed? I would never expect you to be the exact same girl I met in college. I’m down to get to know the new and slightly improved Danessa.”
“What if you don’t like her?”
“Nessa you’re like … this house. There may be stuff everywhere, and a few design choices I wouldn’t make but when you step back and take it all in it’s easy to see this place has good bones.
That’s you. You were built on a strong foundation so no matter what, you’re capable of weathering any storm.
Maybe there are cracks, a flickering light or a door that squeaks when you open it but in my opinion that just adds to the charm. ”
My chest was tight, and I could easily hyperventilate at any moment. “I don’t even know where we’d start.”
“How about with a date. That’s usually how most relationships begin.”
“A date?” It seemed slightly absurd to go on a date with a man who’d seen the star-shaped birthmark on my right ass cheek.
“You, me, a dimly lit restaurant, appetizers, entrées, and dessert. I pay, you smile at me adoringly. Maybe you let me hold your hand, possibly a good night kiss.”
“That was a very thorough definition.”
Aldridge licked his lips and his voice deepened. “I really like your style and your energy, and I was wondering if you’d be down to link up tomorrow night?”
A huge smile overtook my face. Those were the exact words he used to ask me out our sophomore year of college.
I was in the cafeteria studying, as usual, Aldridge passed by my table, and we exchanged silent head nods.
A few minutes later he walked by again but this time he took a seat, asked me what I was studying for, and the rest was history.
“I’d like that. Just to be clear you’re asking me on a date?”
“Yes, one hundred percent.”
“You’d be surprised how many guys ask me out and then want to split the bill or send me a cash app request to pay my half for a slice of pizza and soda.”
“I’m not like other guys.”
“I think I’ll be the arbitrator on whether you’re more of the same or a new breed.”
“Fair enough.”
It tickled me we could recreate our conversation after all this time. Aldridge chuckled. “I don’t think us being here is a coincidence. I believe in the grand design of things. This isn’t a mistake. So, stop waiting for the error message and just let whatever this is happen.”
“This isn’t some sick revenge long game … is it?”
“I’m a lover boy. I’m not into getting payback.”
Heartache was one of the pillars of any romantic relationship. But I was willing to suspend my disbelief and just float in the pocket for as long as God allowed.