8. Rae
Rae
The cool air of a hockey rink brings a powerful hit of nostalgia. The family suite where I spent a lot of time growing up feels like a home away from home. Even now, especially being here with Grayson’s parents.
I balance the two cups along with some nachos as I carry them over to Brynn who’s watching the pre-show on the ice.
“I could’ve gotten those,” she chides, and I just shake my head.
“It’s okay, I wanted to,” I assure her.
She gives me a knowing look. “You’re brave walking around in that jersey.”
I look down with a furrowed brow. “I always wear a Dragons jersey to games.”
“Oh do you?” Her voice is filled with humor. “Because I don’t remember you wearing that one before.”
“Wha—oh.” My face flames as I think about the name that’s on my back. The same one she shares with her son.
“I’m sure there will be a few headlines about that if you’re not careful.”
“I doubt it.” I shrug. “Our families have been under a microscope forever. Everyone knows how close we are.”
“Mhm, and everyone knows what you do and don’t wear.”
Brynn was my mom’s publicist. She would know all about what the world will say and notice, but I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Even if it felt like a pretty big deal when Grayson gave it to me, I know I’m just reading into it.
We’re friends.
“Maybe I’m just a really big Colton Wheeler fan,” I joke.
“That would work if you had a twenty-four on there, but that jersey is all my son.”
My cheeks burn, and I sink into the seat next to her.
“You know he’s crazy for you, right?” she says quietly.
I shake my head. “You and my mom have tried that for years, but it’s not going to happen. In fact, everyone has tried that. If that was true he could’ve said something.”
“He’s a boy, he’s clueless.” She shakes her head. “I love my sons more than anything in the world, but they’re boys, which means they’re predisposed to be a little dumb.”
I chuckle. “I have two brothers, I get it.”
“I’m just saying,” she starts. “Sometimes it’s okay to do what scares you.”
I sink down further, pulling my legs up into the seat, and turning my head. I’m always worried a camera is on me and may read my lips when I’m in public. It’s happened, and some of the things people have guessed I’ve said were pretty ridiculous.
“What if it ruins everything?” I ask quietly, not like anyone could overhear us anyway.
“What if it doesn’t?” she counters.
I sigh, but before I can say anything again there’s cheers, and I look up to see we’re on the jumbotron. I pull out my Rae Sparks smile, waving and blowing a kiss. The lights in the arena dim and they start the intro to the Dragons coming out.
“Life is too short to stay in denial. Take risks because you never know where they could take you.” Brynn says between us.
I try to focus on the game in front of me, but I think about how I’ve never been one to take many risks.
I followed my dreams in my career, but always played it safe.
Even in relationships I played it extremely safe and never got too serious with anyone.
It never felt right. I never do anything I’m not supposed to.
I’ve always been the “good” one. No scandals, no bad press.
The perfect image is suffocating at times, but risk is not something I do.
After the game, the Dragons won, and we go down to the tunnel to meet Grayson. I remember when we used to do this after my dad’s games. Nash and I used to have races down the hallway. One time Nash fell into the hockey stick rack and we got in a bit of trouble.
Of course we were kids, so it didn’t stop us from doing it again when our parents weren’t paying attention.
Steele would try to be the grown up and get us to stop, but we would never really listen to him.
Grayson and Easton would cover for us because we would do the same whenever they wanted to do things they weren’t supposed to.
That’s how all of us have always been. Always looking out for each other.
Colton goes to talk to someone since he knows everyone around here, and just like my dad they take full advantage of being back here. It doesn’t matter how long ago they retired, this will always be their second home.
Evie comes out into the hallway and smiles when she sees us. “Hey, I didn’t realize you guys came tonight.”
“Of course we did.” Brynn pulls her niece into a hug.
When Evie moves to hug me, her eyes catch on the jersey and she smirks. “That must be why Grayson had such a good game.”
I roll my eyes. “All the guys did.”
“Right.” She winks. “They’ll be out soon, I’m sure, but I have to get a few more things done before Coach gets on my ass.”
“Of course, sweetie, do what you need to do,” Brynn waves her off.
She was right because it isn’t long before players start to come out. Every time I see someone that isn’t Grayson I get a tiny bit disappointed. They all greet us in their own way, familiar with Brynn and Colton, but also knowing of me.
As soon as Grayson steps out, his eyes find mine and a smile spreads across his lips.
His dark blonde hair is wet from the shower and he steps over to where I’m standing, wrapping me in a tight hug.
I breathe in his fresh soap smell as he holds me tightly against him.
It doesn’t last longer than any of the other hugs we’ve had over the years of our friendship, yet, for some reason, it feels different.
He hugs his mom next, and I smile at how close they are, how they always have been. Colton joins us again, wrapping a strong arm around Grayson and patting his back. “Great game, Son, I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks, Dad.” He’s never been good at taking compliments from anyone. It’s pretty funny because this whole family is big on complimenting each other, but Grayson won’t accept them easily.
“Do you have any plans with your team?” Brynn asks.
Grayson shakes his head. “No, I’m tired, winning takes a lot of energy.”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “Oh yeah, it’s just so hard being the best.”
“You get it, Sunshine.”
I look down at my feet to cover the blush creeping up. I don’t even know why, he’s always called me Sunshine, this isn’t new, but my mind is all sorts of messed up with my confusing feelings for him and what to even do with them.
“Well, we’re going to head out so you can get your rest then.” Colton drapes an arm around his wife, and she leans into him. “Rae, do you need a ride?”
“No, it’s okay, I have the driver ready to come get me.”
Grayson huffs out a laugh. “Aren’t you fancy?”
I give him an incredulous look. “Oh whatever, like you’ve never had a driver.”
“Cancel him, I’ll drive you home.”
“You two figure that out and we’ll see you later.” Brynn gives us each another hug before her and Colton walk toward the exit.
“You don’t have to do that,” I insist.
“Yes, I do. You have a driver in Denver, you’re getting too Hollywood on me and we have to fix that.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re annoying.”
Even though I say that, I send a quick text to cancel the car.
He doesn’t know my driver is also security because I’ve been a little extra paranoid lately.
We walk to the underground garage where the players park.
We walk in silence, but it’s not awkward, my mind is just spinning with rampant thoughts when it comes to our relationship.
Does Grayson have feelings for me?
What would it look like if we pursued something?
What if we break up and ruin everything?
“You’re quiet,” he comments once we get to his car. We climb inside and I pretend like everything is fine.
“Just not wanting to exhaust you even more with conversation,” I tease as an excuse.
“That’s true, having a conversation is so exhausting.” He quirks a small smile while starting the car.
He drives us out of the garage, bypassing fans that wait for some of the players to stop. Not to be a jerk, but I’m sure it’s for my benefit.
“When do you guys leave?” I ask, trying really hard to remain normal.
“Tomorrow afternoon, we’ll be gone about a week.”
“Are you excited?”
“Are you excited to go on your tours?” he counters.
“Yeah, at first, and then I can’t wait to come back home.”
“Same thing.”
“Good point.”
I don’t know why I feel so awkward; I think it’s just me because he’s acting completely normal and I’m the one here internally battling.
I can feel his jersey on me, I look down at his hand resting on his thigh as he drives, and I want him to reach over to rest it on mine instead. He has before, friends do that.
I think.
I inwardly grown, turning to look out the window while we drive further toward the mountains on the way to my house.
The lights from the city become less the further away we get from Denver and more into the outskirts, and it isn’t long until we’re pulling up to my house.
I send a quick text to my security team to make sure everything is clear.
All the lights inside are still off from when I left.
The porch light is on, but I know once I’m inside I’ll be completely alone in the large house.
I never used to have a reason to feel scared or uneasy about being home alone.
But there were some instances on tour, a fan getting a little too…
excited about me. Some gifts and notes that would appear in my dressing room.
My security stepped it up a bit and I’m sure I’m being overly paranoid.
It didn’t even happen here, and my house is practically a fortress.
But I just don’t want to be alone.
Maybe it’s an excuse to spend more time with Grayson. Only because he’s my best friend. No other reason.
I get a text reply that it’s all clear. It doesn’t stop me from turning toward Grayson to ask if he wants to come inside with me, but he speaks up first.
“Want to hang out for a little bit?”
“I thought you were tired.”
He shrugs. “I’m never too tired to hang out with my best friend.”
I nod. Right. His best friend. That’s it.