33. Asher
Asher
Every single message I’ve gotten from the guys at Uncaged have gone unanswered.
I hate the reminder of what I’m missing out on.
I made the mistake the other night of looking up one of the fights I was supposed to do.
I saw my replacement and how badly he lost. I wouldn’t have lost, and I hope Adam, Caine, and Drew are pissed about it.
But then Max texts me, and I know she wouldn’t do it just because the guys asked her to. I always liked her; she’s no bullshit and even though she’s in a relationship with the three coaches, she’s really the one in charge. And they know it.
Which was something I could never understand. Until recently.
Max
How’s recovery going?
Asher
Great, I’m ready to fight again.
Max
Yeah? Would your doctor agree?
Asher
Maybe I just don’t agree with him.
Max
Fine, would the guys agree?
Asher
Depends. Would you put in a good word for me?
Max
Not likely.
Asher
Didn’t think so.
Max
Be honest, are you even coming back?
I stare at the screen, not sure how to answer. I left out of frustration and anger, not sure if I would want to go back, even though in the back of my mind I thought that was going to be the plan.
But now there may be a reason to stay here.
I mean I don’t know exactly how serious this thing with Rae is. We’re just having fun, it’s not like we’re falling in love or some shit that’s going to make me change my whole life for her.
No, it’s just fun.
So why does the thought of leaving and not seeing her again cause a pain in my chest?
Asher
I don’t know.
Max
I know what it’s like to run away. But I also know what it’s like to find a home.
I don’t know what to say to her about that. I don’t know much about Max or the guys’ past. They don’t talk about it. I just know they’re all together now running Uncaged and seem happy. Most of the time. I don’t know if Caine has ever been actually happy, but he’s just a miserable fuck.
I push all thoughts of Uncaged from my mind and grab my keys to go to the gym.
Physical therapy has been going well, but they take shit so slow.
Too slow for me. Once I’m at the gym I throw out all the “take it easy” shit everyone’s been telling me and train like I used to.
Albeit a little less because my muscles aren’t as used to the workouts, but I don’t care. I want to get back to how I was.
My eyes are drawn to the heavy bag that’s taunted me every single time I’ve come here.
I grit my teeth, missing the way it feels to let everything out as my fist hits the leather.
I could do it a little; I have to get back to it sometime.
It’s not like I’m full on sparring or rolling around on the ground risking fucking up my shoulder anymore.
I can just use my right arm and take it easy on my left.
Knowing it’s not a good idea, and that anyone would try to stop me if they knew about this, I step up the bag already feeling the familiar buzz that comes from fighting.
The outlet I found when everything felt out of control.
The one thing I did for myself that I felt I was good at.
The thing that brought me out of the darkness my mind sometimes tries to go to.
The one thing I can’t even do anymore because of a fucking injury.
I throw a right hook at the bag, instantly feeling the tension starting to leave my body as soon as my knuckles make contact. I do it again, irritated that I can’t switch arms as seamlessly and can’t put as much power behind the punches with my left. But it’s something, and it feels fucking good.
“You seem to know what you’re doing,” some guy comments, and I turn to glare at whoever it is.
“Yeah, I should,” I retort; the guy steps to the other side of the bag. He looks about my age, he’s wearing a shirt with the name of the gym on it, and I really don’t want someone trying to sell training or something to me right now.
I throw another punch at the bag, hoping the guy just goes away, but he watches me.
“You a boxer?” he asks.
“MMA fighter,” I grunt with another hit, this one harder than the last because I’m about to picture his face on this bag if he doesn’t go away.
“You train around here?”
“Look, man, I’m not interested in training here. I have a gym, I have coaches, got it?”
I expect him to be offended, but he chuckles. “I’m not trying to sell you on anything. I noticed you’re favoring your right side, so let me guess, you’re recovering from an injury?”
I clench my jaw tighter, not liking when anyone can notice something I haven’t told them. Especially this stranger.
“We have an opening for a fighting coach if you would be interested,” he continues, then pats the bag before walking away and leaving without me saying anything.
I wipe my hand under my nose, thinking about the offer. I’ll be back to my full capacity in fighting soon enough, but maybe a temporary coaching position might be a good idea.
Even though I’m still not sure what my life is going to look like even a month from now I may consider the offer. Though it may make me more pissed off watching others do what I can’t right now.
I leave the gym because clearly this hasn’t helped my mind off shit. But I know something that will.
The little temptation and distraction that is Rae. Grayson is gone, she made it known it would just be the two of us. While I would have loved for that to mean neither of us leave her house that entire time we both have lives that have to happen outside the bedroom.
I have my therapy; she has family, friends, and apparently can’t write music when I’m around because she’s kicked me out with that being her excuse. Which I kind of like, especially when I push back and she’s pushing me out the door, refusing to give into my taunts.
She’s…incredible.
She’s everything I never expected her to be.
She’s not entitled, some spoiled stuck-up rich bitch like I expected.
She works hard, harder than a lot of other people I’ve met in my life.
She’s funny, sweet, especially when she gets nervous.
But when she’s confident? She’s unstoppable.
She doesn’t always believe in herself and I don’t understand why. But it’s all a part of her charm.
And I can’t stay away.
The new music she’s been working on is amazing. It’s not like the shit on the radio, or anything she’s had before. It’s edgy, haunting, a little dark, but she has a way of making it fun and unique in her own way.
I think it’s because she’s finally discovering herself. Her sound, who she is. She’s just Rae.
Once I’m in my car, I pull out my phone to text her because I’m not asking if she’s free, I need to see her.
Asher
Are you home?
Shifting my car in reverse, I start to drive before she even responds. I glance down at the notification quickly.
Rae
Yeah, why?
I don’t bother replying, just drive to her.
I make one small pit stop at the sex shop to grab something I want to use with her.
My music blasts through the speakers while I navigate the route that’s getting more and more familiar.
When I pull up to the gate surrounding her house, I notice a new camera installed and wonder if it has to do with that box.
I still feel like there’s more with that she isn’t telling me.
But Grayson didn’t even know about that, so I guess I have that over him.
I’m let through the gate, parking in her rounded driveway. When I step out of my car, Rae is already leaning against the front doorframe with her arms folded across her chest.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming over,” she accuses.
Her long red hair is pulled back in a ponytail that I want to wrap around my fist. She’s in a shirt that hangs off one of her shoulders, the corner tucked into the waistband of some cotton shorts and it’s too cold out here for her to be like this.
“It was implied.” I shrug, closing the distance between us, gently pushing her inside and shutting the door behind me.
“Not really. My security asked if I was expecting you. I could’ve refused to have the gate open.”
“But you wouldn’t do that to me would you, good girl?” I smirk, giving into the urge I have to touch her hair, feeling it through my fingers before wrapping it around my hand and pulling just hard enough her head falls back with a small gasp.
“I would,” she lies.
“No you wouldn’t.” I drop my head closer to hers, hovering my mouth over hers. Our breath mingles between us and the desire to close the distance is overwhelming, but I love how affected she is right now. Her heavy breathing, fist in my shirt while she arches into me.
“I-I have a meeting,” she breathes.
“Cancel it.” I brush my lips against hers so softly, I don’t even think it could technically be considered a kiss.
“I can’t,” she whispers. “It’s over video, though.”
I let out a low growl; I don’t want to wait for a meeting to be done before I can have her.
“Patience is good for you,” she teases.
“I disagree,” I grumble.
Rae pats my chest, sliding her hand down to my stomach before stepping back away from me. Her eyes trail over me, and I catch the smile she tries to suppress before she turns around to walk toward her dining table where her computer is already open.
I take the time to look around the open area of her house. I’m always so focused on Rae when I’m here, I haven’t really paid attention to the pictures and various decorations she has. My eyes catch on the pictures the most.
There’s a lot of her with her family at different ages.
Family pictures with her brothers on each side of her while they both seem to be fucking with her and she’s laughing.
Some with her parents. Big group pictures with everyone.
There’s one I don’t even remember, but I see myself tucked in the back standing next to Charlie.
I’m not smiling, and I look extremely uncomfortable.
I’m a teenager, but don’t know how long I was living with Audrey and Charlie at that point.
I’m like a dark cloud in a sea of brightness that comes from everyone else in the picture.
Everyone else knew each other for so long, their entire lives in some cases.
And then there’s me. Dropped into this new life at fifteen years old.
Forced to live with my sister who wanted nothing to do with me for the first portion of my life, where I had to live in Hell.
Then when I had no one else she took me in out of pity.
I shake my head, looking away from the picture that’s only dredging up negativity and moving to others of Rae with Evie and Maya, Rae with Grayson and Easton.
My breath catches seeing them younger and the connection they already had.
Reminding me how much of an outsider I really am, in this whole world, in her world especially.
Her voice breaks me out of the spiral I’ve found myself in. Though, I feel like I should go, maybe go back to Oregon and forget all of this no matter how much I want to stay.
Another voice speaks, this time it’s a guy, and he immediately sounds flirtatious. I furrow my brows because she didn’t say what this meeting was, and I find myself storming back toward the dining room to find out who this guy is.
I see the screen and immediately have the urge to slide into the chair she’s sitting on and place her on my lap so I can glare at this guy the entire meeting.
Is it weird to be possessive of her while also being okay with sharing her with Grayson?
Maybe, but this is different. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
The screen only shows him from the shoulders up. He has messy blonde hair, and a smug look on his face that I don’t particularly like. I can’t even hear what they’re talking about because I’m so focused on the way he’s smiling at her, and my overwhelming urge to make it known that she’s mine.
I finally hone in on what they’re saying, and I lean against the archway that leads into the dining room to keep listening. And to make sure he doesn’t push any boundaries. Especially when I realize this is a work call for them.
“I heard you’ve been working on something that may work for us both?” he questions, his tone is friendly, but I’m skeptical.
“I have, it’s not ready yet, and I’d love your feedback if it would even be something you’d want to be on.”
“I’m familiar with your stuff, and I’d be happy to be on anything with you.” He smiles and I glare even though he can’t see me.
Rae giggles, and I’m pretty sure she’s blushing. I don’t like that he’s making her react like that.
“Well, this is a little different for me. I’m kind of toying with changing up my sound,” she admits.
“Hell yeah, I’d be honored to be a part of that with you. Do you have a demo of what you’ve been working on?”
“Yeah, I can send it to you. But it’s really rough and if you hate it, please let me down gently.”
The guy chuckles, shaking his head. “Something tells me I won’t hate it.”
“Feel free to add on or adjust anything you want,” she rushes out.
“I’ll check in after I’ve listened and when I’ve no doubt fallen in love with it.”
I clench my fist at his flirtatious tone, and I swear he’s staring at the screen picturing her naked or something and I’m about to slam the computer closed.
“Perfect, we’ll talk soon then?” Rae asks.
“Can’t wait.”
They hang up, and I step into the room, clearly not doing a great job at hiding my irritation because Rae looks up at me and her smile fades.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
“Who’s that?”
“Uh, his name is Noah and we might do a duet together.”
“He seemed really interested in you, that’s for sure.”
An amused smile touches her lips. “Are you seriously jealous?”
I narrow my eyes at her. That’s not what this feeling is, is it?
“You don’t get jealous when I’m with Grayson, but if I talk to Noah you turn into a caveman?” She sits back against the chair, folding her arms.
“It’s different,” I grumble.
“How?”
“What if he’s weirdly obsessed with you. What if he’s the one that sent you the box?” I raise my eyebrow and she stiffens, her reaction causing me to go on alert because I don’t know if there’s been more incidents since then.
She looks down, and I feel like I may have pushed too much.
I don’t want her to shut down, but I want her to know that she’s mine.
Ours. And I think Grayson would agree with me that we don’t want to share her with anyone else.
Even if it doesn’t make sense, nothing seems to when it comes to her. All I know is that I want her.
“Call Grayson,” I instruct as a distraction.
“What?” She looks up at me wide eyed.
I nod toward the computer. “Call him.”