Chapter 8
Gail
1 month later.
N ever in my life has a small piece of plastic felt this heavy. Despite knowing the result deep in my gut, my eyes are glued to the small window on the stick I just peed on. I know a second line is going to show up at any second. I don’t know how I know, I just do. Maybe it’s intuition because I’ve barely had any symptoms apart from throwing up at random times.
Morning sickness my ass!
Mine comes whenever it wants to, and it’s rarely during the morning.
The seconds tick by, I’m lightheaded, feeling like I might pass out at any moment. Come on, I urge the test, show me the result! Just when I think I can’t take the suspense any longer, a faint second line appears in the results window, making my heart sink.
Positive.
I’m pregnant.
A sound that’s like a mix of a sob and laughter bursts from me. I’m fucking pregnant. Knocked up by a man I’ve never even seen with my eyes. Shit, I don’t even know which of the men from Cupid’s Court it is since I’ve been with both of them intimately. What a mess I’ve gotten myself into.
My mind races, thinking of the implications. I’m not ready to be a… mom; I can barely take care of myself so I have no business being responsible for another life.
A wave of nausea hits me. I barely make it to the toilet before throwing up violently. As soon as I’m done, I flush and wash my face before brushing my teeth so hard my gums feel sore as I assault them with the toothbrush.
Pregnant.
Shit.
Pregnant.
Who’s my baby daddy? It has to be one of the two men who have been my only, and very frequent, clients at Cupid’s Court.
Pregnant…
Wait a second, maybe the test is wrong. I’ve had tests done by the Cupid’s Court medical team, and they told me the pregnancy tests they did were negative. So… maybe this one is wrong? I already know that’s not the case, yet, I’m not ready to face facts, so that’s what I keep telling myself. That my gut feeling and this pregnancy test is wrong, and that the Cupid’s Court tests were correct.
I stagger out of the bathroom and lie down on my bed. In the darkness, it’s easy to lie to myself; to pretend I haven’t known this for a couple of weeks, but instead of facing it head on, I kept pushing it down. Denial is my new best friend.
Yes, I can keep pretending—at least for a little while longer. Just long enough to go through my next booking at Cupid’s Court.
Pulling my phone from my back pocket I check the date, and yup, it’s only a few days away. I can allow myself to be in denial for that long… I think.
And then… I’m not entirely sure what the procedure is. Do I tell the guys? Does Cupid’s Court tell them? God, the cowardly side of me really hopes I’m not going to have to be the one to tell them. I mean, how do you even say something like that?
Well, it doesn’t matter right now, anyway. Nope, that’s a problem for future Gail. She can deal with it by asking the doctor how to go about it all. All I need to do is keep my mouth shut the next time I’m with the guys.
I can do that.