5. Bad Shit
BAD SHIT
“Where’s Gavin?” Penny, my cousin slash sister-in-law, asks. Though they’ve been married for five years, it’s truly time to stop giving them grief for that shit, but I think I will till the day I die.
“He drew the short stick. He’s driving a bachelorette party boat tonight,” I reply, and Penny rolls her bright blue eyes.
“I’m sure he’s devastated. Here, take Brynn,” she says, handing me my three year old niece as she holds their one year old, Hudson. They really took the Carlson tradition of names ending in ‘n’ very seriously.
I hold my niece as she pinches my cheek. “Uncle Benny, snacks?” she says.
It’s my job as the funnest uncle to give this child whatever she wants, especially if it makes my older brother Lincoln’s life harder.
“Of course, my precious little angel, that I get to return to my cousin-sister-in-law.”
“I swear to fuck Ben. If you teach her that I’ll kill you.”
“Kill you,” Brynn repeats, nodding her head.
“I’m not the one teaching her bad shit.”
“Bad shit,” Brynn repeats with another nod.
Penny glares at me as the baby cries, so I take mercy on her and carry Brynn outside of my parent’s house. I grab the largest chocolate chip cookie, hand it to my niece, and plant her on the outdoor furniture overlooking the lake.
I’m still not sure how to keep a three year old entertained.
I love her, and my nephew, but the best part is the fact that I get to return them when it gets to be too much.
Lincoln and Penny are endlessly happy in their marriage and being parents.
I’m beyond happy for them, though I can’t imagine it for myself.
I like to be able to pack a bag and go wherever I want on whim; I like my walls not smeared with finger print marks, and I definitely enjoy not having the heavy weight of someone's life on my shoulders.
While me and my twin’s life are indefinitely intertwined, it’s how we like it. He’s my lifelong companion, in a sense, and I don’t see the need for a serious relationship or marriage. I’m content, beyond content, really.
We have our businesses, ones we thoroughly enjoy running. We have the club, and we have pockets of fun with whatever woman we want to. Sometimes we share and other times we have our own flings.
Life is graciously uncomplicated and enjoyable. Honestly, it’s a miracle we’re happy here in Tampa, sticking close to our family and figuring out what direction we want.
“Oh my goodness, Brynny, you’re a mess,” my mother Maggie says as she comes outside. “It’s almost dinner time, you gave her a cookie?” she scolds and I shrug my shoulders.
“It’s what she wanted.”
My mother sighs, like I’m exhausting. In fact, I think she thinks we’re all exhausting, maybe not Aiden, my older brother.
He was kind of perfect in every sense; I guess minus the fact he also doesn’t plan to give her grandchildren.
Sometimes I wonder if Lincoln knew that by giving my mother grandchildren the whole adopted cousin fucking thing would be swept under the rug.
By the way my mother looks at the chocolate-covered menace of a child, that theory would be correct. I can’t deny that she’s cute, favoring Penny more in looks with her bright blonde hair and baby blue eyes. But even as cute as she is, I don’t want my own.
“Where’s your brother?”
“Going to have to be more specific. I do have three of them.”
“The one that you shared a womb with and they had to cut the two of you out of my body, making sure I never had any more children again,” she says, wiping the chocolate off Brynn’s face. Though I notice she doesn’t take the cookie away from her either.
“Working.”
“But it’s Sunday,” she says, like we don’t have dinner with the family every goddamn Sunday like clockwork.
“You know, you could have sons who you never see, versus ones you see at a minimum once a week.”
My mom glares at me, picking up Brynn, wiping her hands and holding her on her hip. Part of me wants to reach out and take her so my mother doesn’t hurt herself, but I know she won’t appreciate that.
“Let’s go eat,” she says in a baby voice to Brynn, and I follow them to the dining table.
The rest of the family is there, minus my twin. My parents, Maggie and Jeff. My aunt and uncle, Holly and Tim. My oldest brother, Aiden, and his wife Jessa. Lincoln and Penny, and their two children.
There are four empty chairs as I approach, one for me and Gavin, and the two empty ones I believe are left vacant by my mother, manifesting that we will each find someone and settle down.
It’s best that my parents don’t know the intricacies of our lifestyle.
We’ve never brought women here for family dinner and I suspect we never will.
I can’t see either of us ever being that interested in someone enough to shake up the life long dynamic that we have.
Maybe we’re too codependent on one another, but it works.
We’re happy; it’s enough for us, so it will have to be enough for my mother.
My brothers and Penny know how we operate, and they don’t seem to care.
When I sit down and look over at Lincoln, he looks pissed. Not that it is uncommon for my dickish brother, but since he settled down with Penny, he’s become a lot nicer.
“What crawled up your ass?” I ask, and he glares at me.
“Dennis Commercial giving you more shit again?” my dad asks him.
I’m thankful Lincoln took over the family business, because I don’t want to touch it with a ten-foot pole, but he seems to thrive under the pressure.
“Something is up with their board. They’re lowballing us on every project and winning. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m going to get to the bottom of it,” he says.
I basically tune out the conversation, eating my mashed potatoes, asparagus, and roast.
The sooner I get out of this dinner, the sooner I get to have some fun. Depending on how late Gavin’s charter takes, he might come too, but I doubt it.
We were against going to Avalon, but since Lincoln doesn’t go anymore and Aiden and Jessa only go from time to time on specific nights, it turns out to be a safe place for us. It makes things easier.
There are no expectations of a relationship. It’s all to have fun and live out fantasies in a safe environment. I mean, god knows we paid a premium price for that peace of mind.
“Oh, Benjamin, do you know who I ran into?” my mother asks and I already know it’s going to be some plot to set me up with a woman. “Do you remember my friend Deborah?”
My brows furrow. “From the Yacht club?”
“Yes! She has a daughter your age, a teacher I think, she’s single.”
“That’s nice, mom.”
“She gave me her number to pass along.”
“Aunt Maggie, this roast is especially good tonight. Just look how much Hudson loves it,” Penny says, forcing everyone to look at her precious little baby.
She gives me a conspiratorial wink and I smile back at her. Penny’s definitely my favorite family member right now.
I just have to get out of this house without my mom trying to set me up with some random woman she ran into.
“Oh, Ben. I have the designs for the shirts for you to add to the marina. I’ll email them over to you and Gavin tonight,” Jessa says in a soft voice, my brother’s arm tossed around her shoulder.
“Don’t send them shit until they pay the invoice,” Aiden complains, and I put a hand over my heart.
“Do you really believe I would stiff my sister-in-law like that? How rude,” I say, whispering the word Daddy at him, causing him to glare right back at me.
I learned that little secret a long time ago during a very confusing family vacation, and I fear I won’t let it die.
What’s life worth if I can’t make fun of my brothers at every opportunity?
“Don’t fret, we’ll get the invoice paid. Along with my very gracious older brother printing them for us with his awesome sports supply company.”
“Fine,” Aiden says, and I give him a wide smile.
I look down at my non-existent watch. “I’ve got to get going. I’ll see you next Sunday,” I say, slapping my brothers on the shoulder, giving Jessa and Penny hugs, and touching my niece’s and nephew’s heads to stay away from their grubby little hands. When I get to my mother, she squeezes me tight.
“I’ll text you her number.”
I sigh, but agree, or else there’s no way I’m getting out of this fucking house.
“Okay. Love you, Mom.”
Avalon is classy, the front of the establishment is sophisticated with black and golds, reminiscent of a five-star hotel lobby. In the back is where all the salacious shit happens.
I’d been in a fair share of rooms and situations within Avalon’s walls, and at thirty-five I have a pretty good grasp on what I like and what I don’t like. It’s easier to start my evening at the front of the house and work my way back, the women I like are surprisingly easy to spot.
I’m not much of a voyeur except for certain situations, so sometimes going to the bar in the back feels uncomfortable. I’m not much of an exhibitionist either; despite being a part of a sex club, the idea of being watched doesn’t appeal to me.
I’m not into public humiliation, honestly degradation as a whole isn’t my thing. What I like is hard to pinpoint exactly, maybe because I’ve only gotten little pieces here and there from previous partners of what I truly want.
I don’t enjoy sharing unless it’s with Gavin.
So, needless to say, I like what I like and dislike what I don’t and not many women are into what I wanted, and that’s where my brother came into play.
At least here, I wouldn’t be judged or shut down.
If you aren’t into the same things as someone else you can politely decline and walk away; I can’t say the same for picking up a stranger at a bar.
That’s the beauty of Avalon. No strings, no judgment, while still getting what I need.
Cassandra is here, but she’s talking to Henry. Nicole is here, but she’s talking to George. So I make myself comfortable at the stool as Tex pours me a gin and tonic and slides it across the glowing bar.
“Thanks, Tex,” I say, the dude has been working here for god knows how long, but he must get paid well enough to keep dealing with all of us deviants.
The stool next to me pulls out. The woman is tiny, dark hair, pale skin, wearing a red silk dress that showcases her full breasts. I notice a prominent scar along her neck and collarbone, but it doesn’t detract from her beauty, if anything it makes her more interesting.
“Can I have a gimlet, please?” she says to Tex.
He gives her a once over, clearly not recognizing her.
“Can I have your membership number to start a tab?” he asks.
Ah, fresh meat. Tex knows every single one of us perverts who comes in and out of this place, but he doesn’t know her.
She pulls out her black membership card, handing it to Tex, and he enters her information before handing her back the card. Her nails are perfectly manicured and I wonder what she’s doing here. What’s she into? Why’s she here alone?
Not to stereotype, but a woman that looks like that, who obviously has money, typically comes here with a partner.
She must feel me staring at the side of her face as Tex hands her her drink. She goes to take a sip, but her lips part on a gasp as she looks at me.
“It’s you,” she says, and my eyebrows furrow. Her cheeks heat a delicious pink and she clears her throat. “Oh. Um, Kate. A few months back at Carlson’s Marina and Bar,” she says.
A wicked smile takes over my lips as I hold out my hand. “Of course,” I say, shaking her hand.
“I…uh…I never got your name.”
“Benjamin Carlson, but you can call me Ben.”
Gavin is absolutely going to fucking kill me.