Chapter 13 - Faith #2
“Faith.” His voice was rougher than I’d ever heard it.
“I know I said we have to put us on hold. That being your lawyer means maintaining boundaries.” His thumb traced the back of my hand, and I felt that touch everywhere.
“But I’d be lying if I said I don’t want to throw that logic out the window and just … hold you.”
I couldn’t look at him. If I did, I might do something stupid like cry. Or kiss him.
“My feelings for you aren’t surface level.
” His grip tightened slightly. “Haven’t been since that first kiss.
Hell, maybe before that. And right now, knowing what you’re facing, knowing I’m supposed to be thinking strategy and precedent and evidence …
” He let out a frustrated breath. “All I can think about is how badly I want to pull this car over and hold you until that haunted look leaves your eyes.”
The light turned green, and we started moving again.
“I know I was sending you mixed signals. And that I kept pushing you away, but …” I shook my head. “The truth is, I wanted more with you too.”
I could tell my words had a big impact on him. In fact, it almost looked like this seasoned counselor could have been persuaded to have a secret romance with me. Not because it was smart, but because he was having just as hard of a time pausing this as I was.
I squeezed his hand once before letting go. “But you were right. Now’s not the right time.”
He considered this, clearly hating the idea that after finally, finally both admitting we wanted this, we couldn’t act on it. “After this is over though …” He glanced at me, and the promise in his eyes made my heart stutter. “We’re going to have a very different conversation.”
I managed a small smile. “Assuming I’m not having it through prison bars.”
“Not happening.” The conviction in his voice almost made me believe him. “And as for the case … Faith, we need to sit down and really talk. Today.”
“I know.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, fighting the headache building behind my eyes.
“You’re going to have to tell me everything, Faith. Every skeleton, every dirty secret that could come out. Everything about you.”
Everything. The word hollowed me out. I’d never told anyone the full truth.
Not foster parents, not friends, not even my brother when we finally reunited because over the years of living in darkness, I discovered that no one had ever loved me for all of me.
Only the pieces I made pretty, safe, easy to digest. The sharp edges, the survival instincts that kept me breathing when softness would have broken me …
those parts stayed hidden. Love, or whatever scraps of it I’d been offered, was conditional. Be what they wanted or be left behind.
If Ryker saw the rest … would he walk, just like everyone else?
“I need to start building your defense immediately. Like, the second we finish this conversation. I need witness lists, expert testimonies, evidence analysis. Everything.” His voice carried an urgency with it.
“I know it feels like we have time, but we don’t.
Every second that passes is ammunition we’re handing to the prosecution. And you heard what the DA said.”
I cringed at the memory. Walking around that courthouse corner, hearing his voice carry down the hallway: “I’m going to bury Faith Morrison.”
Clear. Cold. Determined. Charming guy. Really hoping he doesn’t get invited to parties.
“I know you’re exhausted, but we really need to start now,” he added.
I stared out the window at a line of houses not unlike my own home. Home. Such a strange concept after the last few days. Home. Where the heart is. Where I might never sleep again after this trial.
“I know,” I said quietly. “But there’s something I have to do first.”
I could practically hear his brain spinning, wondering what could possibly be more important than saving my life. What could be so pressing when my freedom hung by such a fragile thread?
The answer was simple. The most important thing in my world.
“Can you turn right up ahead?” I asked.
He didn’t even ask why. He just trusted me enough to follow.
And in that moment, another wave shifted between us.
Another in the long line of them that started before he’d “rescued” me from that flirtatious asshole.
Before he’d comforted me in the elevator.
And before he’d explored every inch of my body …
Something that made me hope that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t reject me when he saw all my ugly pieces …
I swear, Ryker’s radar was tuned to every shift in my breathing because as we turned the corner, he glanced at my face, and whatever he saw there made him reach across the console. His fingers interlaced with mine once again.
Those hands. Always there when I needed them.
But as his thumb traced circles on my skin, a different memory surfaced. A time when those same hands hadn’t been gentle or comforting. When they’d been desperate, demanding. When I’d been the one trying to hold us both back from the edge.
The memory pulled me under like a riptide …