Chapter 19
FAITH
“You okay?” Ryker walked into my kitchen, closing the sliding glass door.
Behind him, mostly out of view from this angle, our friends remained where they’d been for the last hour: gathered around the bonfire, talking.
Laughing. The orange glow painted their faces as Axel gestured with his drink, telling a story I couldn’t hear from inside.
“Better than okay.” The smile came easier than expected, though it didn’t quite reach my eyes.
Ryker tilted his head, that laser-focused gaze of his making my skin prickle with awareness. “You don’t have to hide from me, Warrior.” His voice dropped, rough with concern. “I saw the hurt written all over your face out there. Even if everyone else was too caught up to notice.”
My chest constricted, breath catching as I spun toward the cabinet, desperate for something to do with my hands.
Anything to escape those knowing eyes. Because the truth terrified me.
Not just that he could see through every mask I’d perfected, but that something inside me was beginning to crack.
A small voice, barely a whisper, wondered what it would be like to let him keep looking. To stop running.
I stretched for the top shelf, like the action alone could anchor me, could stop this unraveling feeling.
“It has to be hard.” His voice softened to velvet, each word carefully chosen. “Watching everyone together like that. Hearing your brother might have a kid soon, knowing you might miss …” He stopped himself, but the unspoken words hung heavy between us. Knowing you might miss everything.
Damn him. Ryker had always seen too much, understood too deeply.
“I will do everything in my power to keep you out of prison.” The floorboards creaked as he moved closer, and suddenly, I could feel him. The warmth radiating from his body, the way the air shifted around him. “I can’t let that happen. I won’t.”
As he stepped closer behind me, his breath ghosted across my neck.
“But if, God forbid, the worst happened, you need to know something.” A pause, heavy with meaning.
“I’d never fully move on, Warrior. Not really.
Every bonfire would echo with your laughter.
Every dinner would have an empty chair. Your absence would live in every breath I take. ”
The words shattered something inside me. My throat constricted painfully as tears burned behind my eyes. I blinked furiously, catching one traitorous drop with the back of my hand before it could fall.
Don’t break. Not now.
Another stretch toward the cabinet, fingers straining. My fingertips barely grazed the edge of what I was reaching for, and I knew, without looking, that Ryker was watching every move, seeing through every deflection.
“What exactly are you attempting?” Amusement threaded through Ryker’s voice, and I appreciated that he was letting me off the hook by allowing me to change the subject.
“Tessa’s trying to get pregnant.” I hoisted myself onto the counter, balancing on my knees like some suburban acrobat. “I offered her some non-caffeinated tea, but it’s crammed way back here like it’s hiding from civilization.”
My fingers finally found the box wedged behind spices. I stretched higher, weight shifting forward onto one knee.
“Careful,” he said, voice dropping an octave. “Don’t want you to fa—”
Gravity, that vindictive bitch, chose that exact moment to assert dominance.
My knee slipped. Arms windmilling like a deranged bird, I had just enough time for one panicked thought: This is going to—
Ryker’s arms locked around me. Momentum sent us both tumbling, but somehow, he twisted mid-fall, taking the full impact as we crashed to the floor. Him first. Me on top. His back absorbing every punishing inch of linoleum meant for me.
I landed on top of him, chest to chest, my palms splayed against the crisp button-down that was warm beneath my hands, which moved up and down with the rapid rise and fall of his breathing. This close, the kitchen lights turned his eyes almost silver.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Am I okay? You just used your spine as my personal airbag.”
He smirked, swiping my fallen hair away from my face, and when he did, his lean, tattoo-covered forearm came into view. My God. The way it peeked out of his rolled-up sleeves. It could be in a commercial for sexiest details alive.
“Maybe next time, let the tall guy get something off the top shelf?” His tone was playful, but within moments, his smile faded, and his attention dropped to my lips.
I swallowed, my heartbeat accelerating as his hands shifted to my lower back, moving with such tenderness that it felt like he was trying to memorize the feel of me.
In that suspended moment, everything else ceased to exist. The murder charges.
The vow we’d made to resist this. The uncertainty.
The chaos of my life … all of it evaporated.
There was only Ryker’s arms around me, the heat of his chest. The warmth of his skin as he took my chin between his thumb and finger.
The urge to kiss him was just as strong as my appreciation for the guy.
How many people would stand by someone accused of murder? He’d done it before with Knox, and now he was doing it with me. Some might argue it was brotherhood obligation, but the way he was looking at me wasn’t obligation at all. This was pure, undiluted desire.
Funny. Five minutes ago, I wanted my friends to never leave. Now I was wishing they weren’t here.
Ryker’s thumb moved to my cheek, and I could see the conflict warring in his eyes. Not only the “need” to stay platonic until the trial was over, but also, a second complication: my brother was right outside.
In a moment like this, neither hurdle proved tall enough to stop him. I watched his resolve fracture in real time as he tilted his head and moved his mouth to mine.
Lightning shot from my lips straight to my chest, then ricocheted to my lower belly. Especially when he teased my lips with his tongue, parting them so he could deepen our kiss. Our tongues met in perfect synchronization as I threaded my fingers through his hair, cupping the side of his head.
Dear God, this man could kiss. I wanted to feel his mouth on mine from now until eternity. And I wanted to feel that mouth everywhere on my body. Send it on a world tour of Faith, all expenses paid.
Ryker clearly wanted the same thing. The hard evidence pressed against my thigh, making my pulse race. With a low growl that vibrated through his chest, he grabbed my thighs and repositioned them until I was straddling him. Right here on my kitchen floor.
His lips moved to my jaw. My neck.
“Thank you,” I managed breathlessly.
I felt his lips curve into a smile against my throat.
“You’re thanking me for kissing you?”
“No. Well, yes, absolutely that, too, but—” Oh my God. His hand slid along my thigh, scrambling my brain cells. “Yes, thank you for that, but also for being there for me.”
He stilled, and for a moment, I wondered if I’d said something wrong.
“You’re not used to people sticking around.” He said it like the concept personally offended him, like he wanted to fight everyone who’d ever left.
I swallowed hard, offering a gentle assurance. “Blake’s sticking around. I think his friends will too.”
He digested this for a moment, then cupped my cheek again. “Listen to me, Warrior. This battle isn’t going to be easy, but I’m here with you until the end. No matter what.”
My eyes welled with tears I blinked back, my lower lip quivering traitorously.
I didn’t want to be the pathetic girl, the one unaccustomed to this level of unwavering kindness.
I’d worked my ass off to bury that girl deep inside my soul, but suddenly, the words burst out before I could stop them. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
His jaw hardened, and he took a lonnnnnnnnng beat before he answered. “I hate that every time you’re shown kindness, you’re waiting for the floor to give out.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“But it’s the truth,” he said. “And to answer your question, Faith, I’ve been mesmerized by you since the moment you walked into my life.
You’ve been stuck in my head since I first saw you.
It’s never happened with another woman. I think about you when I fall asleep.
You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up. ”
I sensed he’d normally never confess something that deep this fast in a “relationship,” if you could call us that.
But I also sensed that when my life, my freedom, was on the line, relationship norms went out the window, and all that was left was now.
Now was the time to confess things before it was too late.
To say things you wouldn’t normally say.
Truth was, I felt the same about him. I’d had a hard time admitting that to myself, and it still scared the crap out of me, but I couldn’t pretend my feelings for him weren’t there.
He comforted me when the claustrophobia kicked in.
He helped me when he had every reason not to.
And by his own admission, he might miss me more than anyone else, if I went away.
“I feel protective of you in a way I’ve never experienced before,” he continued. “But I also know you’re strong as hell, that if push came to shove, you’d be the one protecting both of us.”
His words burrowed deep into my chest, planting seeds of something that felt dangerously close to hope. And something else I refused to explore.
I loved that in my most vulnerable moment, he still saw me as strong. That mattered more than he could know.
I pulled him to me then, kissing him with a ferocity I’d never kissed anyone before, rocking my hips.
Maybe we could sneak into my bedroom and—
“Get a room,” Axel grumbled.
We jerked apart, both standing quickly, brushing our clothes like we hadn’t been busted making out on the floor like a couple of teenagers.
“Dude.” Axel shook his head like he’d witnessed a nature documentary gone wrong. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you kiss another woman. It’s seven levels of disturbing. Like watching a monk discover tongue.”
“Shut up, Axel.” Ryker’s face went three shades of red.
But I bit back a smirk. Axel’s banter made me feel as if life was normal, and I appreciated that.
“What? I’m just saying, for a guy who’s supposedly this legendary dude in the courtroom, you kiss like you’re afraid she’s going to evaporate if you breathe too hard.
” Axel grinned. “Also, Faith? Your lipstick is now decorating Ryker’s entire face.
He looks like he got attacked by a very passionate clown at a crime scene. ”
I shouldn’t have bothered with the lipstick when I changed. It wasn’t going to distract from the bandage on my head or the smell of jail still clinging to my clothes.
Trying not to smile at Axel’s smirk, I brushed out nonexistent wrinkles while Ryker frantically wiped at his mouth.
Axel’s gaze dropped pointedly south. “Oh, good God. It’s standing at attention like it’s saluting the flag. Should I play the national anthem?”
“Axel, I swear—” Ryker started.
“Seriously, it’s like watching my celibate uncle finally get some action. Deeply uncomfortable but oddly fascinating.” Axel grabbed a fresh bottle of wine from the counter. “Should I alert Blake? Does he know you’re groping his little sister in the kitchen?”
“Axel …” Ryker growled, but his threat lost some impact when he had to pause to scrub more lipstick off his chin.
“Oh, and next time? Maybe lock the door. Or put up a sign. Caution: Sexually Frustrated Lawyer at Work.” Axel twisted the wine opener with theatrical flair and a wink at us. “I came in here for alcohol, not a live-action romance novel.”
“Are you done?” Ryker asked through gritted teeth, but I couldn’t contain my smile any longer.
“Almost. Just need to burn this image from my retinas.” Axel popped the cork. “There. Alcohol always helps with trauma.”
He headed for the door, paused, and turned back. “Oh, and, kids? Blake’s coming in for fresh whiskey in about thirty seconds. Might want to fix your … everything.”
The door closed. Ryker and I stared at each other, disheveled and panicked.
I grabbed a dish towel, attacking his face with determination. “Hold still.”
“This is insane.”
Twenty seconds.
His hands caught mine. “Faith.”
“What?”
“We need to talk about what this is.”
“A really bad idea with excellent timing?”
A muscle in his cheek twitched. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.” I swiped at a smudge of lipstick near his collar. “We can dissect our feelings later when my brother isn’t about to walk through that door.”
“Later implies there’s going to be more of this.” His voice dropped lower. “Is there?”
The question froze me mid-swipe. I looked up and found those blue eyes locked on mine, intense and wanting and terrified I’d say no.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I don’t know what I can promise you right now.”
Something flickered across his face. Pain maybe. Or understanding. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“We’ll table it.” He stepped back, but not before his thumb brushed across my wrist. “But, Faith? When this is over, we’re having that conversation.”
I yanked my hair into a ponytail while Ryker tucked his shirt in properly.
Ten seconds. Ryker grabbed the tea box while I tried to look natural. Normal. Not like I’d just been making out with my brother’s best friend while accused of murder.
Five seconds. Ryker cleared his throat.
The door opened.
But it wasn’t Blake who walked inside. It was Jace.
And he looked, well, pissed …
“Ryker, a word?”