Chapter 47 Ryker #2
The relief that washed over her was physical. I watched the weight pressing on her chest lighten, watched her breathing come easier, watched the haunted look in her eyes fade just a fraction.
Fuck. She was staring down the possibility of being locked in a claustrophobic concrete cell for the rest of her days, and the fact that relief washed across her face broke me.
“Thank you,” she breathed.
God forbid—and I couldn’t even let that possibility settle in right now—she went to prison, I’d make sure every single thing that mattered to her was taken care of. More than she was asking.
I’d move to a house with a big yard, just to make every day of Rainbow’s life magical. I’d let that deranged mutt sleep in my bed every night. I’d downsize my life so I could pay off the entire mortgage on that blue house myself, and I’d personally mentor every one of those kids.
Actually, I had an idea. A big one. But I wouldn’t share it unless we had to pull the trigger on it.
And so help me, I was not going to let it come to that.
She nodded, turning back to the stove. “Good. This is good.”
She scraped eggs onto two plates, then made a third portion. Of course she did. She set it on a plate on the floor. Rainbow trotted over like canine royalty, tail wagging.
Faith pushed eggs around her plate without eating, fork scraping against ceramic. “Today, I’m going to try to find another job.”
I knew better than to try to convince her not to work; she’d made up her mind, and Faith was nothing if not determined.
“My office needs another assistant,” I lied smoothly.
She smirked. “You can’t save me from everything, Ryker.”
Watch me try.
She pushed her food around once more, then surrendered, setting the plate on the floor for Rainbow, who attacked it with enthusiasm.
“Gotta say”—I leaned back against the counter—“never seen a dog eat so well.”
Faith’s lower lip trembled. “I just want to give her every treat I possibly can before it’s too late. I want her to remember me as the person who made her happy.”
Fucking hell. Now it was my turn to push the eggs around on my plate. “Please don’t give up hope.”
Her face crumpled. “You know what I’ve been thinking about all night?”
I waited, my chest tight.
“I just keep thinking maybe … maybe I’m getting everything I deserve.”
“Faith—”
“I want to be a strong woman. You know, the one in the movies who never lets life get her down? The one who just keeps charging ahead, no matter what gets thrown at her? Those are the people I respect and admire. That’s the woman I’ve been trying to be.
” Her voice broke. “But I’m not her, Ryker. I’m just … tired.”
Something inside me snapped.
“That’s not realistic.” I pushed off the counter, moving closer to her. “Everybody breaks sometimes, Faith. And hear me when I say this: you did not deserve any of this.”
Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill over.
“I turned into a bad kid, Ryker. I let my circumstances change me. When my foster dad used to beat me, I wished him dead. I literally would pray for him to die.” Shame riddled her features. “What kind of person does that make me?”
Rage flooded my veins. “He was abusing you, Faith. If I had gotten my hands on him, I would’ve torn him limb from limb while he was still breathing.”
A small smile threatened at the corner of her mouth. “We both know that’s not true.”
The thing was, I didn’t know that anymore. Not when it came to her.
“Throughout the years, I’ve made so many wrong turns, Ryker. I don’t even know where my original road was.” She seemed to be gearing up to tell me something, but she either didn’t or couldn’t.
“Listen to me.” I tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at me. “We all hold things we’re not proud of, Faith. But every day, we get to start new. Every experience is a new opportunity to make a different choice. And from where I’m sitting, you’re fucking amazing.”
She pressed both hands to her face, shoulders shaking. I pulled her to standing, pulled her hands away, and wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs.
“You listen to me. I’m falling in love with you, Faith. Have been for longer than I wanted to admit.”
Her breath hitched.
“I don’t believe in love at first sight, but there’s something at first sight. The first moment I laid eyes on you, something inside me changed. I was inexplicably and irrevocably drawn to everything about you.”
She stood frozen, tears streaming down her face.
“Every time I was getting together with friends, there were a few thoughts echoing through my mind from the moment I woke up: Would I get to see you? Would I get to hear your voice, listen to your ever-surprising wit? You were guarded as hell. You didn’t make getting to know you easy.”
She chuckled at that, a watery sound that twisted my heart.
“You’re the master of changing the subject, but I didn’t give up.
Because I needed to learn everything about you, Faith.
And the more I learned, the harder I fell.
But the first time I kissed you? That’s when I was done for.
Because I knew there were no other lips I ever wanted to touch except yours. ”
Her eyes widened, lips parting.
“I went home that night, convinced I was going crazy. You can’t possibly fall that hard, that fast for someone. It makes no rational sense. Typical lawyer, I gave myself countless objections. But the jury of my heart just said, Nice try, Counselor.”
That earned me another watery laugh.
“The point is, I am falling for you, Faith. Hell, I think I already fell. Hard.” My voice roughened with emotion. “The reason it’s difficult for me to have conversations about the prospect of you going to prison is because I cannot imagine, cannot endure, the thought of not seeing you every day.”
I pulled her closer, one hand sliding into her hair, the other pressing against her lower back.
“Even if you don’t choose me. Even if you don’t feel the same about me as I feel about you, I need you, above all else, to be happy and safe. And you’ll be neither of those things if you go to prison.”
My throat tightened. “So, if this is the last thing I do on this earth, it’s to save you from that hell. Because losing you?” I shook my head, the words barely making it past the knot in my chest. “That’s not an option I’m willing to consider.”
She stared at me, speechless, mouth slightly open. I expected her to run. That was a lot to hear, a lot to confess. But I guess when the rest of your life faces imminent danger, truth demands to be spoken.
The kitchen fell silent. Even Rainbow stopped eating to watch us, head tilted, like she was waiting for what came next.
Then, suddenly, Faith’s fingers fisted in my shirt. She yanked me down and crashed her mouth to mine—desperate, hungry, claiming.
And I was lost.