Chapter 7 #5
He was aware of the irony of wanting to surround himself with Emory’s scent, even though Emory, or at least Cameron’s fear about Emory, was the reason he was cowering in here in the first place.
Logic meant very little to Cameron’s octopus, and as he lay there, he could feel the line between him and his beast blur.
Time spooled out, and what felt like five minutes later, but was probably closer to fifteen, he heard the soft falls of Emory’s feet on the carpet. He tensed as the footsteps approached the bed, but then they turned and headed to the bathroom.
“Cameron?” Emory called, and he sounded concerned, maybe even a little hurt. The footsteps returned and moved towards the bed before coming to a halt.
“Uhm…breakfast is here, if you’re interested,” Emory said softly.
Cameron didn’t know what to say. He actually was quite hungry, but he couldn’t fathom them going back to the kitchen table and sitting across from each other, casually eating pastries while they determined if their relationship had a future.
“I think I may have upset you with what I said about my mother and aunts wanting us to have cubs. In lion culture, families are called prides, and our pride is made up of a lot of bossy women and a few bitchy aunts who always want more cubs in the family. But…they don’t make decisions for me, Cameron.
They can roar and growl all they want, but it’s my life—I mean, it’s our life. ”
Cameron really didn’t want to crawl out from his den, but his heart ached at the tone of his…fuck, his partner’s voice. He had used that word a bit hopefully at the party, but after spending the night together, he was really starting to believe it.
His octopus was still cowering, so it seemed like it was up to Cameron to make the next move. He wiggled his hand through the sheets until it emerged at the end of the bed.
His gesture was met with silence and utter stillness, and for a moment Cameron wondered if he’d made a mistake. Maybe he was just too weird, too much, for Emory.
Then Emory took Cameron’s hand. “Would you come out and talk to me, honey?”
“I’d really rather not. Would you…”
Was this absurd to ask?
More absurd than Emory finding his fated mate hiding in his sheets?
Well, in for a penny, in for a pound and all that. “Would you come in here?”
Emory let out a surprised noise, but a few seconds later, the mattress dipped.
“I don’t know where you are in all this,” Emory admitted as he patted his hands around on the bed.
Cameron’s octopus decided to be the one to offer a hand this time, thrusting Cameron’s other hand out and waving it, demonstrating where Emory could come inside the den.
After a little bit of wiggling and adjusting, Emory slid under the blankets.
The small space immediately filled with warmth and the heady smell of leather.
It was similar to the effect that water had on Cameron’s octopus.
It felt like being cradled by the ocean.
Like he was exactly where he needed to be.
That seemed illogical, given all of Cameron’s fear only moments before, but he and his octopus knew it was true.
Cameron grabbed Emory’s hand like he had the previous night, but this time, he used it as leverage to pull himself against Emory’s chest.
“Hi, honey,” Emory breathed, wrapping an arm securely around Cameron’s back.
“Hi.”
Emory huffed affectionately and nuzzled his cheek against Cameron’s neck. Cameron had never before wished he had a scent gland, but he sort of did when he was around Emory. He wanted to experience Emory’s nuzzling the way it was meant to be experienced…by another mammal…who could give him cubs.
“Want to tell me what happened?” Emory asked, shifting so they were face-to-face.
Cameron let out a grumbling noise, and Emory placed a soft kiss on his forehead. “You don’t want kids, do you.”
It was a statement, not a question, so Cameron didn’t really feel the need to answer.
Instead, he gazed into Emory’s eyes. They were a flat brown, none of the specs of gold or amber showing through.
For some reason, this comforted him. There was no dominant alpha coming out to growl at him.
Not like what had happened with Thomas when he found out.
“Do you want kids?” Cameron asked when the silence stretched a little too long.
“Only if you do. Otherwise, I’m not particularly interested in them.”
Emory threaded his fingers through Cameron’s hair, and he let out a surprised but happy groan as he tilted his head into the touch.
Some of the curls were still damp, but that didn’t deter Emory from finger-combing his hair back in a rhythmic, soothing pattern.
This was going to cause his hair to poof up like a cloud when it fully dried, but he didn’t care.
All he cared about was the feeling of his mate’s arms around him and the rapid beating of his heart as he considered his next words carefully.
“I’m also not particularly interested in kids, but I always told myself I needed to remain open to the idea in case my fated mate, or whoever I ended up with, wanted them.
I guess it sort of hit me when you said it, like your family wanted you to have kids, so you were going to have kids, that I think I could only go through with raising kids if my mate really, truly wanted them.
If that was the case, then I’m sure we could figure out adoption and all that, but if it was just to appease your family… I really don’t think I could do that.”
Emory’s hand had stopped moving. “We would figure out adoption?”
Cameron had hoped that maybe, since Emory said he wasn’t all that interested in kids, they wouldn’t have to go through this song and dance right now. The longer Emory gazed at him in confusion, the more it felt like he would be outright lying if he didn’t tell him everything.
Cameron swallowed hard and sat up, pulling the sheets and comforter with him. Emory followed suit, the look of confusion turning to one of concern as Cameron shuffled out of bed.
He didn’t need to go far, and to be honest, he didn’t want to go far. He turned around and stood right at the edge of the bed and tried to put on his bravest face.
“I know we haven’t covered a lot about my birth parents yet, but basically, I was with them for four and a half years, and during that time, a lot of really not great stuff happened.
Some of it I remember, and some my real parents–my ba and pa–told me.
I think my social worker told them a few things, and there was a little in my file, but this particular one I didn’t find out until I was in college… dating my shitty ex, Thomas.”
Cameron grasped the bottom of his shirt and slowly peeled it over his head. He didn’t have to drop his pants again, because Emory had seen the scars on his legs.
Or maybe he hadn’t, since he’d been such a gentleman and tried not to look, but he had felt the ones on his hips, so Cameron gestured at those first. They were in patches, some on his hip, some on his ribs, and a bunch more on his back.
Emory was staring at him intently. His hands, which were strong and could possibly do some real damage to a person, were lying limply in his lap as he waited for Cameron to continue.
Cameron anxiously rubbed at his upper arm, drawing Emory’s eyes to the much less noticeable scars there. “The final thing my birth parents did, which ultimately ended up saving my life, also had some really severe long-term consequences.”
Emory appeared to be barely breathing, his shoulders were a solid line across, and his eyes were swirling with something. There was still no sign of his inner alpha beast, though, so Cameron continued.
“Again, I didn’t find this out until much later, but apparently, I had shifterpox.
Not a huge deal, but something that needs to be treated and looked after.
My birth parents weren’t really all that interested in looking after me, though, so they let it run rampant.
I guess when you allow a kid to scratch to their heart's content, they end up with scars,” he said, gesturing across his body.
“And if you let it go completely untreated, it can cause high fevers, swelling, and severe sickness. One of the neighbors called Child Services after seeing a severely sick kid playing outside day after day. Thankfully, I don’t remember much about it, just being sick and then finally being taken away from there. ”
Cameron’s octopus trembled, and Cameron closed his eyes and wrapped his arms all the way around himself.
He might as well finish the story now. He’d come this far already.
“Fast forward to college, and I’m dating Thomas—who’s an alpha.
We had a condom break during one of my heats.
As I’m sure you’re aware, that is an almost surefire way to get pregnant.
We were over a year and a half into our relationship, and I already knew I needed to get out at that point, but I was trying to figure out how.
Turns out the nicest and worst thing he ever did for me was insist I go to a clinic instead of buying a test at the store.
They did a full exam, one I’d never had done before, and they…
Well, they found out I’m sterile. The doctor sent me to a specialist, and they looked over my records and believe the untreated shifterpox was to blame. ”
He heard Emory’s sharp intake of breath, but he kept his eyes squeezed shut.
“As I said, it was the best thing he ever did because I’m glad I found out then. Even if, at the time, it felt like the worst because…shortly after that appointment, he left me. He said he didn’t want a ‘broken omega.’”