23. Dove #4
I leaned forward to give him a cursory lick, squeezing experimentally as I did.
The hands in my hair remained but loosened as Josh practically liquefied into the shower wall, the lines of his abdomen tensing.
Watching him react to my ministrations filled me with an intoxicating, heady feeling, and the hesitancy I’d been filled with evaporated completely.
Drawing him deeper into my mouth, I used what little knowledge I had to make him feel as good as he’d made me feel.
“ Dove.” Hearing my name spoken like that, like it was both a prayer and a curse, sent a thrill through me.
I’d done this in the past because I felt obligated, but there was no obligation here.
I wanted to drive Josh to the brink of insanity, to unravel him piece by piece until the only parts left of him were the secret, hidden gems he kept buried deep inside.
I wanted to pick open the lock where they were stored and free them.
I may have been the one of my knees, but I’d never been more in control.
Hollowing my cheeks, I applied just enough suction to leave Josh trembling.
When I pulled back and swiped my tongue along the thick vein running along the underside, his hands spasmed in my hair where they were gently tangled.
His hold was respectful, not forceful, allowing me to set the pace, but a twisted part of me wanted him to grab me, force me, use me , despite hating it in the past. Josh was shattering everything I thought I knew when it came to sex like it was his own personal glass ceiling.
I bet if he fucked my face, I’d love it.
My face heated at the thought, and I kept it just that: a thought.
I risked a peek up at him, and the long line of this throat had me wanting to rise and sink my teeth into it.
His head was thrown back in ecstasy, Adam’s apple bobbing, as if I was a professional at this and not some fumbling half-virgin.
The throaty groan he emitted when I laved at the slit of his cock had me squirming, causing a warmth to rush over me that had nothing to do with the steam of the hot shower gathering around us.
Empowered by his response, my confidence grew, and the hand not currently wrapped around him edged toward his hip, urging him forward, deeper into my mouth.
“ Fuck —” The strangled word tore from him as he slid deeper down my throat, causing me to gag.
“Shit,” he swore, easing off, his glazed eyes falling to mine. Hands that had tightened in my hair loosened and slipped free. “Sorry.” A few remaining suds slide down his flushed, heaving chest. I liked this look on him: ruffled, wild, affected—by me .
I leaned back on my heels and he slipped from my mouth, but I kept my hand firmly wrapped around the base of him, slowly stroking.
“Nothing to be sorry for.” Maintaining eye contact, I tipped forward to plant a kiss to his stomach, ignoring the aching, swollen shaft just inches from my mouth. “I liked it.”
I nuzzled the crease of his thigh, not shy, per say, but still a little out of my element. It was easy to tamp down the self-consciousness when Josh was losing it above me, but now that his intense gaze was focused on me it felt like the brightest of spotlights.
“Do you like it?” I found the courage to ask, my lips grazing over the skin of his hip. I refrained from asking if I was doing okay, like this was some test I was worried I’d fail. I mean, I was slightly worried, but I didn’t want him to know that.
“Do I like it?” he echoed in disbelief. I tracked a stray droplet of water as it ran a path down his skin. “Dove, your mouth is downright sinful.”
I pressed my smile into his skin, pleased to know I’d pleased him. My stomach swooped when his hand came down to stroke the wet strands of my hair back away from my face tenderly.
“You could bite my dick off and I’d thank you for it.”
Laughter escaped before I could reel it in. “I don’t think that would be conducive for either of us.”
“ Ohh .” His eyes glinted playfully. “Bringing out the big wor?— ”
His teasing turned into a groan as I swallowed him down again, doubling my efforts. As much as I was enjoying this, my knees were starting to ache, and we didn’t have much longer before we’d be surprised by an unpleasant change in water temperature.
With his words of reassurance echoing in my head, I grabbed for his hands and guided them back to my hair, hoping he’d read my mind and go for it.
Instead, his hands stayed there, just resting on my hair.
But I wanted more than that. The flick of my tongue along his slit had his fingers jerking, but still he held back.
I exhaled through my nose, relaxing my throat as I took him deeper, giving just the barest hint of teeth?—
The sharp tug of my hair as his fingers buried deep in the strands to pull me closer had me choking on a whimper as pleasurable tingles erupted over my scalp.
I waited for the feelings I’d experienced in the past to rise within me, the panic to start at knowing I was more out of control than in, but it didn’t come.
Josh’s grip was strong, but not overly rough, as he took control.
Josh’s voice was a sinful murmur above me as he coaxed me into taking more of him little by little. “Is this what you wanted, little dove? For me to take control and fuck that pretty mouth of yours?”
My whole body lit up at his words, as if he had pressed a giant “ On” button I had no clue existed.
“I told you before, sweet girl, all you have to do is ask.”
His hands were big enough to cradle my head, keeping me locked in position as he slid deeper into my mouth.
He took it slow at first, thrusting shallowly until I got the rhythm of swallowing him down just enough to avoid gagging.
My jaw ached where he was practically prying it open.
The sound of him sliding in and out was so obscene my blush refused to leave, each thrust wetter and sloppier than the next, precum and drool dripping down my chin.
“Fuckin’ perfect,” Josh praised, one hand coming down to thumb where my lips were stretched wide around him. “ You’re perfect.”
The ache between my thighs was unbearable now, throbbing in time with his movements.
I shifted, slipping a hand down to press against my swollen clit, moaning around him as the first touch brought stars to my eyes.
I’d never felt like this without being touched before, like I’d been through the longest round of foreplay and all it would take was a few touches to get myself off.
Alarm filled me as Josh withdrew from my mouth so abruptly I pitched forward, his hands leaving my hair to wrap around my biceps.
A surprised squeak flew from my mouth as I was forced up off my knees and spun around to face the shower wall so fast I nearly slipped.
But I didn’t, because Josh had me, pressing me forward until my front was plastered to the cool tile.
The spray of the water was still warm, but just barely, as it pounded down from above us, trickling between our flush bodies.
Before I could ask why he’d stopped, Josh’s hand cupped my jaw, turning my face back to accept his kiss. Not just any kiss, but a deep, filthy, biting kiss, the kind that took breaths away.
When he pulled back, my mouth was tender and sore in the best possible way.
“I like the taste of myself on your tongue.” He licked his lips and smiled so roguishly my heart forgot to do its job for a concerning beat or two. His erection was hard against my lower back, reminding me that he hadn’t finished.
“Why’d you make me stop?” I made to turn in his arms, but he wouldn’t budge from where he was bracketing me up against the wall. “Josh.”
Ignoring me, he leaned in closer so he could whisper huskily in my ear. “You weren’t getting what you needed, were you, baby?”
A wave of embarrassment washed over me as I realized what he was talking about. He’d noticed that I’d been trying to get myself off.
Oh god, kill me now. I rested my heated face on the cool tile, thankful I didn’t have to look him in the eye.
“Don’t be shy,” he rumbled against my cheek, like an incoming storm drawing closer. “It was fucking hot.”
His words were gasoline that fed the flames of my desire until they engulfed my entire body. His arms tightened around me, a tiny groan escaping his throat at my squirming.
I tried to remember how to string words together, but he was making it so hard.
“It wasn’t about what I needed.”
Josh made a disagreeing sound. “It’s always about what you need.” His hand came to rest around my throat like a necklace. “But that pussy’s mine, Dove.”
His other hand planted itself inches away from my face.
“I want to be the one to give you pleasure,” he said, breathing into the side of my neck, just behind my ear on the sensitive patch of skin that had a shiver dancing down my spine. “Which means the only fingers you’ll be coming on are mine .”
The hand mere inches from my face slid down the wall and out of sight.
Josh’s breath along my skin was like the huff of a possessive dragon seeking treasure as his hand cut a path down my body.
His rough knuckles skimmed tenderly over the swell of my breast before trailing down the curve of my stomach, finally reaching the apex of my clenched thighs.
My hands grappled along the wall, slipping from the condensation that formed on the slick tile as he cupped me, curling his fingers inward.
Josh touched me like he’d been touching me for years.
He circled my clit expertly, like he knew just how I liked it.
Every teasing move of his fingers down my slit left me gasping, plastered between the wall and his body, praying Josh wouldn’t let me crumple into a pleasure-filled heap on the shower floor when my legs eventually gave out.
His presence behind me was practically scorching as he hunched over me, panting along the back of my neck.
I shivered when he pressed biting kisses against my skin, his hips grinding into my lower back, seeking his own pleasure while drawing out mine with skilled fingers.
I reached up clumsily to wrap an arm around his neck, pulling him closer, though I doubted there was even a millimeter of space left between us.
My other hand slipped down the wall to find his arm, nails digging into his muscled forearm unwittingly as his fingers slid inside me, finding that spot like a heat-seeking missile, releasing a gasp so great it had me open-mouthed against the wall, eyes squeezing so tight stars exploded behind them.
“That’s it,” Josh coaxed, voice hoarse, as I shuddered apart in his arms. He pressed me further into the wall, his fingers tightening on the sides of my throat just enough to steal the air from my lungs. “Come for me, baby.”
Everything was too much and not enough. Pleasure clouded my thoughts in a haze until there was nothing but Josh.
Josh and the constant press of his fingers as they plunged in and out of me.
Josh and the thick pad of his palm as it rubbed my clit just right—until I couldn’t stop my hips from hitching forward.
Josh and that damn intoxicating scent of his that overcame me, asphyxiating me until every sense was filled with Josh, Josh, Josh.
His face burrowed into my hair as I rode his hand, murmuring words I couldn’t concentrate on enough to make out.
Pleasure mounted, spiraling higher as his hand worked me until it peaked and I was completely consumed.
I threw my head back against his shoulder, shaking through a climax so intense all I could do was cry out his name—the only word I knew.
As if his name were a siren’s call, Josh jerked behind me, a low grunt spilling into the sound of my name on his lips. The rhythm of his hips faltered, then stilled, and his release coated my back in a rush of warmth, washed away moments later by the water cascading down upon us.
Wrapped up in Josh and riding a wave of pure satisfaction, I could have stayed in this moment forever. Josh was a heavyweight on my back, pressing lazy kisses into my neck, and for the first time since this all started, I let myself believe that this could be my life.
The cold rush of reality plunged in quite literally as the water turned from tepid to freezing in an instant. Josh cursed as I shrieked, shocked out of my floating daze by the jolt of frigid water, spell broken.
I scrambled to turn the water off as quickly as I could, dodging the remaining drops that fell from the showerhead as Josh pulled back the curtain and grabbed our towels. I reached to take mine, but he dodged my hands, instead helping to dry me off even as goosebumps covered his tan skin.
My protests died on my tongue as he delicately wrapped my towel around me like a burrito and started using his own to dry my hair. Warmth that had nothing to do with how well I was bundled up spread through me. My heart panged with longing. If there was anything I wanted in life, it was this.
It was Josh.
I was so scared of allowing myself to hope, because hope was one of the most dangerous things to have.
But as the smile grew on Josh’s face, I couldn’t help but feel it.
Hope was many things. Inspiring. Uplifting. Limitless.
Risky.
Josh was worth the risk.
My stomach swooped nervously as uncertainty and fear crept back in. I was afraid of losing him again. Even if he promised me that wouldn’t happen, doubt was still there.
But hope was there, too. Outshining it.
As Josh finally started to towel himself off, I stepped out of the tub and gathered my clothes. When they were piled in my arms, I hesitated, unsure.
Slowly I crept toward the door, hoping to make a clean break so I could have a moment to clear my head in my room.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
I froze, peeking over my shoulder. Josh stood there with a towel wrapped around his hips and his arms crossed, looking like a seductive genie ready to hand out far more than three wishes.
“I’m not done with you yet.”