33. Dove
DOVE
W hen I was freshly showered and felt like a person again, I went downstairs to make coffee and scrounge up some breakfast. Josh had to be hungry.
We hadn’t had but a few bites of the left-over things he’d brought last night, and he’d jumped right into work.
Guilt gnawed at my belly worse than hunger, but I’d take over for him in a little and he’d get to clean up himself.
After Josh left and Mom got sick, I’d grown used to doing things myself.
Gareth helped for a while, but as her illness worsened, he grew busier caring for her, and I helped out in the only way I knew how.
I worked on the farm. I managed the things I could, and the rest, I brought to Gareth.
Sure, the farm didn’t look as good as it once had, but since Josh had come back, we’d been slowly fixing her up.
I needed to get used to the help, even if it sometimes set my teeth on edge.
I never wanted to seem like I couldn’t do something, because if you gave me enough time, I could.
I’d been doing it. And Gareth might not have outwardly expressed it, but I know he’d been grateful.
Now that I had Josh to help with the farm, it was hard to hand over the reins—to rely on him after so many years of his absence. But with every action he all but said he was here to stay, even if the actual words had yet to leave his mouth.
I had to trust in that. In him .
I whipped up a quick breakfast of toast and eggs and left his in the microwave to keep warm. I ate quickly, hoping to catch him before he finished too many of the morning chores. Knowing him, he’d likely try to get them all done before I could relieve him, just to help me out.
A soft ache filled my heart.
He’d always been the sweetest boy to me, and that hadn’t stopped in adulthood, either.
Josh might have been an adult when he left, but he’d grown into a man while he’d been away. Sometimes I couldn’t believe that he’d been missing me as much as I’d been missing him.
Last night just cemented the fact that he was it for me.
I might have fooled around some, but waiting for Josh had been worth it.
He’d made it worth it. I doubt I would have experienced what I did with him with anyone else.
Not just the pleasure, but the pure connection.
It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before, like we were intertwined now.
My heart, mind, and body had reached out to him—and his mine.
I’d welcomed him into me, giving him a space to call home within myself.
I’d always kept that space for him, but knowing he wanted it?
Knowing he held that same space within himself for me?
No one else will ever compare after that.
Was it sad that I already missed him, when I’d barely gone an hour without him?
Even I cringed at how needy I sounded, but I couldn’t help eagerly pulling on my work boots and heading out of the mudroom to the porch to look for him. Judging by how long I’d been gone, he was likely starting on the horses.
I checked to make sure Omen had been fed and gave him a quick pat where he was having an after breakfast nap on the cat bed in the shed.
A quick glance at the coop revealed the girls pecking at the feed Josh had spread out, but I figured he’d fed them when I saw the fresh eggs he’d collected from them on the counter.
Making my way over to the stable, I heard him before I saw him.
“You still not feeling so good, pretty girl?” his low voice cajoled.
I frowned, stepping through the archway and into the dim horse stable. Josh was down farther, where we kept Clover. He was petting her head as it hung low over the stall door.
“Does she still seem off?” My voice carried across the breezeway, startling him.
“That was fast,” he commented, throwing a glance over his shoulder at me.
But he knew I wasn’t one to dally in the mornings if I could help it, even if I wasn’t always the picture of a morning person.
Living on a farm would do that to you, bred out of necessity.
The worry I found etched into the furrow of his brow had my own concern twisting my stomach into knots.
“She won’t take the sugar cubes I’m offering her. ”
My frown matched his. She never turned down treats. We affectionately called her Miss Piggy.
My boots ate up the distance between us until I was standing beside him. “Should we call Dr. Sterling?”
Josh pet between Clover’s eyes. “I’m thinking we should. You mentioned she seemed sick the other day. I don’t want her getting worse.”
My nod came easy in agreement. “Want me to call?”
“Go ahead. I’ll see if I can get her to a spare stall so I can clean hers while we wait for the vet. Try and get the soonest appointment she has.”
I walked backward, pulling my cell out of my pocket. “Once I’m done with this call, I can take over. Go grab a shower, there’s some breakfast waiting for you in the microwave.” Which is probably cold by now, unfortunately.
“It’s fine, Dove.”
I pressed Dr. Sterling’s contact, which was one of the very few I had in my phone. As it starting ringing in my ear, I repeated firmly, “I’m taking over.”
Josh just shook his head at my stubbornness as I made my way out of the stable to take the call.
Coincidentally, Dr. Sterling was just up the road at a neighboring farm and promised to pop over as soon as she was done. I thanked her, knowing how hectic being the only vet in Haven could be, and told her just to come straight over, no need to call, we’d be here.
I had to practically shove Josh toward the house. For as easy as he’d made abandoning the farm seem, he still held a soft spot in his heart for the animals.
And for me , the annoying muscle beating in my chest added.
As the summer crept on, I was starting to believe Josh when he said it hadn’t been so easy for him to leave.
It hadn’t been easy to let go of my anger for him, but with each day he remained by my side, I realized I didn’t want to be angry at Josh—didn’t want the past to linger like a bad scar between us.
I wanted us to heal, to start over, to start fresh.
While Josh was up at the house, I finished Clover’s stall and was about to begin Shadow’s when Josh wandered back in, wearing clean clothes with his hair still damp.
Leaning against the pitchfork, I couldn’t help but point out, “That had to be the world’s quickest shower.
Did you even eat the breakfast I made?” Not that I’d blame him if he hadn’t, cold eggs and soggy toast didn’t sound the least bit appetizing.
I never claimed to be a good cook, that had all been my mom.
He strode over to me. “I did, and it was delicious.”
I snorted. “Now I know you’re lying.”
Josh shook his head in denial. “Am not. It was delicious because you made it for me.”
“Okay, now that was just cheesy,” I teased, smiling around the words, infected by whatever the hell was buzzing between us.
“Cheesy?” he repeated, eyes narrowed, prowling closer. “I’ll show you cheesy.”
“What does that even mean?” I laughed as I moved backward, matching his steps as he advanced on me.
Spinning, I propped the pitchfork on the side of the stall and twirled out of his reach as he grabbed for me, but my foot slipped out from under me on a stray piece of hay.
I braced myself for impact with the hard floor, but instead, the strong band of Josh’s arms locked around me from behind.
“Careful, little dove,” Josh warned in my ear, his voice a wicked purr.
He was warm along my back in a way that had my mind flashing back to yesterday, and all I wanted to do was feel him like that again. I pressed into him, and he groaned—a deep, throaty sound that made me bite my lip and wish we had all the time in the world to lie in bed.
My voice came out breathy as I pleaded, “Josh?—”
A throat cleared and my heart sank into my stomach. Josh released me like he’d been burned, but he didn’t go far, his hands hovering, likely to ensure I didn’t slip again as we both turned towards the entrance of the stable.
Dr. Sterling was smiling softly, the light streaming in behind her making her red hair glow. “Sorry to interrupt, I heard voices and figured you’d be in here with Clover.”
“Nothing to interrupt,” I dismissed a little too quickly. “Josh was just making sure I didn’t fall on my face. I can be so clumsy.” I prayed the laugh I forced out didn’t sound half as awkward as I currently felt.
Dr. Sterling’s smile never wavered, and she ignored my hasty explanation to ask, “Where’s my patient?”
I led her over to Clover, watching as she approached slowly and introduced herself to the large creature.
Dr. Sterling was a petite woman with a soft-spoken voice, and while she had a sweet disposition, she held a fierce devotion to her patients.
It was one of the many reasons she was so popular with both the townsfolk and the animals.
She was the best vet in town. Not to mention the only vet in town.
She also happened to be the most eligible bachelorette.
The men of Haven had been trying to lock her down since she moved out here to start her practice.
But Dr. Sterling lived and breathed her work, and in all the years I’d known her, she had never agreed to a single date—or expressed even a hint of interest.
Both of those things were unheard of in a town as small and gossipy as Haven.
I choked down my unease at what Dr. Sterling had walked in on—and what she might be thinking. If there was anyone I trusted not to talk about us, it was her. She only cared about the animals she was tasked to treat; everything else was irrelevant.