38. Dove #3
If my last words to Josh were telling him to leave, I’d never forgive myself.
I closed my eyes as I stepped outside, barely noticing my bare feet against the cool, damp porch. Muscle memory had me shuffling to the top of the porch steps, stopping right at their edge.
If I opened my eyes and saw another officer…
I took a deep inhale of rain-heavy air, bracing myself for the worst, then forced my eyes open.
My breath hitched as I saw Josh hauling two heavy, bulging bags from the backseat of his car like it was nothing—when really it meant everything.
The soles of my feet hit gravel as I stumbled down the steps, running to the man I couldn’t live without, because life wouldn’t be worth living if he wasn’t in it, and nothing I did would ever matter if he wasn’t by my side.
I just hadn’t realized it until the possibility of losing him became my reality. But I knew it now, and I wasn’t ever going to let him leave me again.
He paused in shock as he saw me barreling towards him.
“Jesus, Dove, what are you?—”
I leapt without hesitation, uncaring of my weight or that his arms were full, trusting that he would catch me.
And he did.
Just like I knew he would.
His bags hit the water-logged driveway with a heavy thud as he let them go, choosing to hold me instead.
I breathed him in, the familiar scent of him wrapping around me like a balm, steadying the tremble beneath my skin. I clung to him, arms and legs wrapped tight, and he held me easily.
“You’re getting soaked,” he admonished.
“I’m aware,” I breathed—then I kissed him, pouring every ounce of myself into it. Every fractured piece of me he’d helped heal, every part that already belonged to him. I needed him to understand that without him, there was no me.
Our lips slid together, wet from the rainwater pelting down on us. We were drenched in seconds, but I hardly felt it. All I could focus on was the heat of him beneath my palms as I slid my hands across his shoulders, holding on tighter.
He kissed me like he meant it, like he needed it, sucking raindrops from my lips, nipping at the bottom one until I opened for him with a soft gasp. His tongue swept in, and I moaned, my legs tightening around his waist.
I never wanted him to leave me again. Don’t leave me.
“I won't,” he murmured between kisses. “Never again.”
I blinked, realizing I must’ve said that out loud.
“I didn’t want to leave.” He pressed a fierce kiss to my lips. “I never want to leave you. I love you, Dove. Where you go, I go, baby. If I ever have to leave again," he vowed softly, brushing rain-drenched hair from my face, “for any reason at all... you’re coming with me.”
“I don’t want to be an obligation, Josh.”
“God, you’re not. You’re so far from that.” His forehead rested against mine. “Farm or no farm—I just want you.”
My eyes fluttered shut as I reveled in the warmth of him, so thankful he was safe. Thankful he was mine.
“We can sell it,” I whispered. And for the first time the thought didn’t break me.
“What do you want to do, Dove? What’s your dream? Because if it’s this farm, I promise you I’ll do everything I can to save it.”
His vow had me swallowing around the tightness building in my throat, blinking the rain from my lashes.
“ You’re my dream, Josh. I don’t know what I want... I just know I want it with you .”
This close, I felt his smile before I saw it, the shape of it pressed into my lips as he kissed me.
“I can arrange that.”
“I’m sorry I told you to leave,” I said on a shaky breath. “I didn’t mean it.”
He ran a soothing hand up my back. “I know, baby.”
“The farm is my home,” I started, then stopped, those words not quite matching how I felt anymore, but unsure of how to explain what I meant to Josh.
“I know it is. And wherever you are—that’s mine.”
I shook my head. “No, the farm’s where I live. You’re my home, Josh. I don’t want to do this without you.”
“You don’t have to,” he promised. “If you want to stay, keep the farm, and live here in Haven, we’ll make it work. Together.”
The only sound between us was the steady fall of rain until he broke the silence, voice soft but certain.
“Growing up, I did what I had to around the farm because it was expected of me. But you—you do it because you love it. Living here stifled me, but you found yourself in this place. I don’t want to take that from you.
I only wanted to give you options. I’m sorry if it ever felt like that meant I didn’t want you.
That couldn’t be further from the truth.
You make life worth living when you’re near.
You’re my person, Dove Riley. Have been since the moment I laid eyes on you. ”
Tears mixed with rainwater as I hugged him closer, burying my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in the familiar scent of home.
Could I really have him?
“You’re my person too, Joshua Hex,” I whispered, my lips brushing against his rain-chilled skin. “You always have been, even when you weren’t here.”
I’d thought holding onto the farm meant holding onto Josh. But while this place had been my shelter most of my life, the man with his arms around me… he was my true safe space. For three long years, I’d lived without him.
Never again.
I pressed a kiss to his throat.
“Not that I’m not loving holding you like this, baby,” Josh murmured, adjusting his grip so I was more secure in his arms, “but we should get out of the rain.”
As if in agreement, the sky rumbled overhead.
“Are the horses in?” he asked, ever the caretaker, always worried about the animals.
You could take the boy out of the farm, but you couldn’t take the farm out of the boy.
“Yes.” I rested my head on his chest, the relief of having him back palpable. “Everyone’s taken care of.”
I was jostled slightly as he bent to grab his bags, managing them in one hand while cradling me in the other. Then he started toward the house, his voice low and full of quiet promise.
“Then let’s get you taken care of, too.”
I shivered in his arms, and for once, didn’t protest.
I didn’t try to fill the silence, didn’t pull away, didn’t pretend I was fine.
I just let myself be held.
There was still so much we needed to say—wounds to talk through, choices to make—but that could wait.
Right now, all I wanted was this. To feel the steady beat of his heart beneath my cheek and know it was mine.
Wherever life took us from here, whether we stayed or started fresh somewhere new, Josh was with me.
All those years ago he’d been my new beginning, and somehow, against all odds, he’d become my forever.
Just like I’d always dreamed.