Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
He tipped his eyes downward and scrubbed his forehead. A few seconds later, he lifted his gaze again and met hers head-on. “You always fuckin’ mattered, Ky. Always.”
Was that regret in his eyes? No, it couldn’t be.
Turning his back on her, he dropped his head and plugged a hand on his hip. “God-fuckin’-damn it,” he muttered under his breath.
When he spun back around, he moved so close that the tips of his leather boots brushed against her bare toes.
“You always fuckin’ mattered,” came out in a pained whisper.
She blinked back her tears.
Don’t fall for this, Ky, it might be an act. He could be trying to make you feel guilty for protecting your heart, your sanity, and your son.
“Then you should’ve showed me. What you showed me said otherwise.”
Damn it, her throat was closing up. She did not expect to be rehashing this tonight. She had come to peace with her initial decision to escape and now she’d been thrown back into turmoil.
By the man who caused it.
She cleared her throat so she could ask, “You want the truth, Zeke?”
“Certainly don’t wanna be fed a goddamn lie.”
“It wasn’t only what you did with Bunny. It was how you were living your life.” He’d been on a dangerous path of destruction.
That wasn’t an opinion. That was fact.
“I’m a fuckin’ biker, Ky.”
So was his father and uncles, and a lot of his relatives. Being a biker wasn’t a good excuse. Being close with Violet had shown Kyra that not all bikers were criminals or had a long rap sheet.
Vi’s father could be intimidating but Diesel had never spent a minute behind bars.
“Believe me, I was aware of that. It wasn’t hard to miss. But I also couldn’t ignore the fact that you were headed back to jail the…next…morning for the”—she held up her hand between them and ticked off her fingers—“fifth time?” She narrowed her eyes on him.
“Prison.”
She huffed out a breath. “Oh right. That’s so much better. How many times did you go back since then, Zeke? Even if I had stayed, you weren’t going to be around to help raise him, pay his expenses, or provide emotional support.”
His jaw shifted. “I’m a fuck up. Got it. Changin’ my ways. For my family. My club. And now my son.”
“If only I could believe that,” she whispered.
He cupped her face and whispered back, “Gonna prove it to you. Just gotta give me a fuckin’ chance.”
Her pulse pounded along her throat. “For Ledger, right?”
“Yeah, for Ledger. You, too.”
She shook her head, dislodging his hand. “No, not for me. The only reason you’ll be in my life is for Ledger. No other reason.”
She wished she could step away from him—to give herself some space—but he had her trapped against the counter. Oh yes, he was dangerous, but tonight, not in a criminal way.
She wouldn’t let him play with her emotions. She would not make the mistake of being with a biker ever again.
She closed her eyes in an attempt to create a wall between them.
“Missed you, Ky,” whispered across her lips before his thumb followed the same path. “Never thought you’d come back. Definitely never thought you’d come back with someone who’s gonna tie us together forever.”
She lost her breath when reality slapped her in the face. She’d be tied to this man for the rest of her life.
Whether she wanted to be or not.
“Can’t undo my fuck-ups, babe. Gotta keep that shit in the past and keep movin’ forward.”
She opened her eyes and stared at him. Babe? It had been a long time since anyone had called her that. In fact, only one person ever had. The man now standing in front of her. “I really wish I could believe you. It’s that past that makes me skeptical.”
“Gonna give you that. But askin’ you to give me a chance to prove myself.”
“Answer me this: would you be trying to prove yourself if Ledger wasn’t in the picture?” She held her breath as she waited for his answer.
“Never wanted you to leave in the first fuckin’ place,” he murmured, focusing on her mouth and making her automatically lick her lips.
Her breath hitched when his long, warm fingers slid up her jawline and drove into her hair above her ear.
She took in all that was Zeke Jamison, the badass biker, the MC president she never should’ve gotten involved with in the first place.
But for a second, that bad decision was almost forgotten and she remembered everything that attracted her to him in the first place.
His scent.
His taste.
His lips.
His swagger.
His amazing hair any woman would be jealous of.
His intense grayish-blue eyes.
It was a trap.
He was a trap.
A trap that was about to snap shut and imprison her.
She made a mistake with him before. She couldn’t make it again. Last time left a permanent mark.
The next time could destroy her.
And her son.
She needed to resist for Ledger.
Her son was the most important man in her life, despite still being a child.
She could not get sucked in this time.
Zeke was bad news. Just because he was Ledger’s biological father didn’t mean she needed to let him back into her personal life.
Or pants.
Or bed.
Or…
Her eyelids slid shut as he leaned in closer.
Shit.
His warm breath swept over her parted lips.
Shit.
His leather cut brushed against her aching nipples, making them peak even harder. And of course, she never wore a bra when she was home.
Shit.
His other hand curled around her hip and pulled her against him until his bulky belt buckle pressed into her belly.
Heat rushed through her and puddled between her legs. He might have been a cheating asshole, but he’d always been damn good in bed. That was one place he’d never been selfish.
At least with her.
As for the others…
Shit.
“Zeke, this is not a good—”
His lips smothered her protest and his tongue took advantage of it, sweeping through her mouth.
He tasted of tobacco and pot, and maybe even a hint of whiskey. It was Zeke one-hundred percent. It took her back to a time when she loved him, despite him living up to his road name.
She’d been weak then, but she was much stronger now.
Kyra in her twenties would’ve invited him to her bed. Now in her early thirties, she was about to invite him to leave. Before he pushed her into doing something that there’d be no turning back from.
Because she knew how it worked when a biker claimed a woman. They got possessive and bossy. Their opinion was more important than hers.
Belonging to a biker was fun for a while. Until it wasn’t.
That reality made her jerk her head back to break the contact.
He dropped his forehead to hers, his fingertips digging deeper into her hip. He breathed, “Fuck, babe,” against her lips. “You taste so damn good.”
She channeled her inner strength and shoved his chest with both hands, pushing him away. “You taste like…” You. “Like shit.” She shook her head, hoping it would shake some sense into her. “I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. You need to leave.”
“That’s the last thing I wanna fuckin’ do.”
Her brain and heart were warring with her sexual desire. She needed reality to win over fantasy.
“I can’t do this,” she repeated again, hoping he’d listen but knowing he wouldn’t.
“Too fuckin’ late,” Zeke growled.
She hated that he might be right. She was slipping and could easily fall right back into his spell. And if she didn’t do anything to stop it, she wasn’t going to escape unscathed.
Like last time.
As much as she loved her son, as much as she wouldn’t want to be without him, raising him as a single mother was difficult.
Being with Zeke could make that part easier because he was right, he was surrounded by a large support system. One that would embrace Ledger.
He would be taken in like a newborn elephant calf. The rest of the DAMC herd would surround Ledger and do whatever they needed to do to protect him.
But it would also make the rest of her life more difficult.
So, yes, Ledger could be that calf, but Kyra was not rejoining that herd.
“It’s late. You need to go.”
“Babe…”
She shook her head. “No, Zeke, you don’t get to call me that anymore. I’m not your babe. I’m your son’s mother. That’s it. Please respect that.”
His mouth worked like he was about to argue with her, but when he didn’t, she got suspicious. He was not a man to give up so easily.
“Wanna see my kid regularly. Not whenever you fuckin’ decide. He’s half mine, Ky.”
“Then I assume you’ll pay half his expenses, including his childcare.”
“Ain’t gonna need to pay for childcare once my family knows he exists.”
“Your family. Do you mean your immediate family, like your mom and dad? Or your DAMC family, including sweet butts and strippers? Because I want a say in who’s watching my son.”
He pursed his lips but didn’t answer right away.
Oh yeah, he was clearly scheming, so she quickly added, “Once he’s comfortable around you, we’ll let him know you’re his father.
But not until then, Zeke. In the meantime, we need to set some rules.
” When his mouth opened, she lifted a hand.
“Think carefully before you say no to that. I could make you work for your time with him, even have visitations limited by a court order, and that wouldn’t turn out well for you due to your convictions and being a part of an MC.
Hell, the president of an MC. Lily would probably agree with me about that.
If you want this to go easily and in your favor, you’ll agree to the rules.
They’ll also be in your son’s best interest.”
“Fuckin’ rules,” he muttered. “What are they?”
At least he was willing to hear them. But of course, she wasn’t prepared. “How about I come up with a list and we set another date for you to spend time with Ledger and we can go over them?”
“Not likin’ this, ba— Ky.” His expression looked like he accidentally tasted some shit thinking it was chocolate.
“It’s not about you. It’s about my son.”
“Our son.”
“That’s right, and you should be concerned with his welfare, too.”
“Tomorrow.”
Her head jerked back. “Tomorrow what?”
“Wanna see Ledger tomorrow. Bring him by Church. Wanna show him his roots. Then we can discuss those fuckin’ rules. Be prepared for some negotiation.”
“I want more time than—”
“Fuck that. You ain’t the only one makin’ fuckin’ rules. Tomorrow.”
She sighed. If agreeing to that got him out of her house, she’d work on that list tonight. “Fine. I’ll be there. I have to work in the evening, so it’ll have to be early. You’ll just have to kick out whoever’s in your bed before noon.”
“Should be you.”
“Been there, done that. Have the toddler to prove it.”
His nostrils flared and his jaws shifted. “Whatever.”
Relief flooded her when he spun on his boot heel and headed toward the door.
She followed to lock it behind him but before he opened it, he stopped and turned.
Now what?
Why did he have to continue to make this situation difficult for her?
“Hey, you ain’t interested in becomin’ a doctor, are you?”
Her head jerked back at that unexpected question. “What? Why?”
He shook his head. “Never mind. Just an idea I got. Where you workin’, anyway?”
“Right now I’m working per diem.”
“Per diem? What the fuck’s that mean?”
“It means I work where I’m needed. I get paid by the day since I don’t have a permanent facility here yet.”
“You wanna become a doctor, just lemme know.”
Before she could make sense of that, he walked out.
She watched the way his hips rolled as he headed toward his Harley. Those damn hips were just as smooth in bed, too.
Those memories caused a twinge in a place where she didn’t want to admit.
When he started his motorcycle, it was so damn loud he probably woke up the whole neighborhood.
After slipping on eye protection and tying a bandana around the lower half of his face, he turned his head to look at her for a moment, then gave her a two-finger salute and raced off into the night.
The famous line from the movie Ghost whispered through her head.
“You in danger, girl.”
Kyra had a feeling that Oda Mae Brown could not have been more right.