Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
She thought he was leaving when he jerked up his jeans, but no. It turned out, he only pulled them on to make a quick trip to the hallway bathroom to ditch the condom and bring back a damp washcloth so she could clean herself up.
Once he returned, he dropped his jeans, climbed back on the bed, and settled in.
Like he had no place else to go.
She could fight it, but the two explosive orgasms she’d experienced were making her feel more generous than normal.
Plus, if she searched deep enough, she didn’t want him to leave. Despite knowing getting involved with him again could come back to bite her on the ass.
Using his bent arm as a pillow, he murmured, “Were so pissed at me, surprised you didn’t get rid of him.”
While his voice was soft, the unexpected message hit hard.
It also caused ice to flood her veins.
Did he really think she would’ve done something like that? Despite his betrayal, he was the only man she’d ever loved.
The only man she’d ever had sex with.
Even knowing that being a single mother would be difficult, ending the pregnancy never even crossed her mind.
“Despite what you did, I still loved you. And he’s a piece of you that I could have, even if I couldn’t have you.”
His whole body jerked next to her. He rolled to his side, jammed his elbow into the mattress, and propped his head in his hand.
She avoided his searching eyes.
“You loved me,” he repeated softly. “You didn’t say shit.”
“Tell me…would that have made a difference? Would that four-letter word have made you more loyal? More responsible?”
Grabbing her chin, he turned her face toward him. His eyebrows were drawn together. “Ain’t just a four-letter word, babe. It’s so much fuckin’ more.”
“You’re right. It’s so much more. It should never be taken lightly.”
“Still love you.”
Her heart squeezed at that unexpected admission. Holy shit. If that was true… “You never told me, either. And I wouldn’t have guessed by your actions.”
“Another stupid motherfuckin’ mistake I made. Didn’t see it back then, but clearly see it now. Shoulda told you. Shoulda showed you better. Shoulda kept my dick in my jeans.”
All of that was true. “But not apologize?” She shouldn’t have to ask.
“Didn’t think a simple sorry would fix my fuck-up. Been tryin’ to show you instead.”
He was right. Some damage couldn’t be repaired by a simple apology. She also recognized the fact he was making an attempt to be better.
“Too late to fix the past but that don’t mean we shouldn’t move the fuck forward and work on the future.
Know you still love me, babe. Love our boy.
Want us to make a life together. The life the three of us woulda had if I hadn’t been such a fuckin’ dickhead.
I ain’t perfect. Tellin’ you now, ain’t ever gonna be perfect.
That means our life ain’t gonna be perfect.
But, for fuck’s sake, gonna do my fuckin’ best to make it a good one. ”
Of course he sounded sincere and she really wanted to believe it. She did.
But believing him would be taking a huge leap of faith.
“Move forward,” she echoed. “Like me moving onto the farm?”
“Would be one step toward our future. The other would be gettin’ rid of him.”
Her chin jerked back into her neck and she did a double-take. “Him?”
“That guy.”
That… “Glen?”
“Yeah. You belong to me, Ky. Want you to take what I fuckin’ said about us bein’ a family seriously.”
The whole reason she’d moved home was so Ledger would be surrounded by family. The reality was, Zeke was a major part of that family.
But she was so scared of him screwing up again. Of him getting drunk and doing something stupid, or losing his temper over some perceived slight and going back to prison. If he had always been a rock-solid guy, she wouldn’t hesitate. “Let me think about it.”
“Nothin’ to think about. All you gotta do is agree.”
Of course. She rolled her eyes at his solution. Just agree.
“You’re trying to control my life.” She was afraid she’d let him do it because she already felt the protective armor she wore falling off piece by piece, despite how hard she clung to it.
“Tryin’ to keep you safe.”
“I don’t need to be with you to be safe.” If she considered what the DAMC dealt with in the past, it might be the opposite. Getting involved with a club of bikers was always a risk.
“Fuck that. No one wants you and Ledger safer than me, babe. How ‘bout this? Move to the farm. Then me and you will work on shit. Together.”
“You mean you won’t force your way in the door?”
“No. Just askin’ you to gimme a fuckin’ chance to prove myself.”
“With no time limit?”
His lips pressed together.
“With no time limit, Zeke,” she insisted when he refused to answer. “How about a compromise? I’ll agree to move into the cabin if you agree not to rush things between us.”
Seconds ticked off in her head as she waited for him to answer.
“Gonna agree to your terms if you stop seein’ that fuckin’ guy.”
Good thing she had already decided on breaking things off with Glen. It wasn’t fair to keep dating him if she was sleeping with Zeke. No, Glen and her hadn’t been committed, but she still felt guilty.
She didn’t want Glen to think he had a shot with her when he no longer did.
“Deal.”
His lips pursed and the corners of his eyes crinkled.
She rolled her eyes again, this time adding a shake of her head. “Don’t make me regret this deal.”
Kyra sipped at her iced latte, more to keep herself from wringing her hands than the fact she was enjoying it.
Because she wasn’t. Her stomach was churning because she wasn’t looking forward to this conversation with Glen.
He was a great guy.
He was responsible.
He was great with Ledger.
He’d been more than patient.
Glen was everything she hoped Zeke would be.
The second she set her latte back down, Glen smiled and reached across the table to envelope her hand in his. She let him have it for a minute because she wanted to let him down easy.
Even so, it was going to be difficult.
Glen had done nothing wrong and was probably a much better man for her than Zeke, but in good conscience, she couldn’t date one man while being unable to stop thinking about—or sleeping with—another.
And again, whether she liked it or not, Zeke was her kryptonite.
She needed to get this over with and not drag it out. “Thank you for meeting with me, Glen.”
“Of course. I’ve missed you. Ledger, too. I thought I might have done something to make you pull away.”
She pressed the hand he wasn’t holding against her thigh under the table. “No, you’ve done nothing wrong. Sorry I’ve been distant, but there’s a reason.”
Glen released her hand and sat back, worry creasing his brow. “Are you okay?”
That was debatable. “Yes, I…” Just do it. Glen doesn’t deserve to be strung along. “I’m fine. So is Ledger. My life has gone in a different direction and I’m trying to deal with it.”
The creases in his forehead deepened. “Okay?”
“The truth is, Glen—”
When the bell over the coffeeshop’s door jingled, Glen glanced beyond Kyra and then scowled.
Oh no.
She didn’t even bother to look over her shoulder. She didn’t have to because Ledger appeared at the table. “Mommy! Daddy said I could get a hot chocolate!”
She blinked at her three-year-old who was bouncing on his toes in excitement.
Who shouldn’t be at Above the Ground.
Who certainly didn’t need a hot chocolate in warm weather.
Ledger flapped a hand around in a sloppy wave. “Hi, Gwen!”
“Hi, buddy. Long time no see.” Glen’s greeting was more upbeat than his expression.
Of course Daddy appeared right behind Ledger and placed his tattooed hands on their son’s shoulders.
She groaned. Zeke showing up at this place when his club owned Sophie’s Sweet Treats, which served a hell of a lot more than what Above the Ground did, was no coincidence.
No, it certainly was a choice.
A bad one.
She narrowed her eyes on Zeke who had the gall to respond with a cocky grin. “Didn’t expect to run into you here.”
Bullshit. She’d been upfront with him about why he needed to watch Ledger. Though, she never told him where she was having this meeting. He must have followed her here.
Typical caveman biker action.
She unclenched her teeth. “Glen, I’m so sorry for the interruption. Do you mind watching Ledger for a second or two?”
Glen’s eyes sliced back and forth between Kyra and Zeke. “Sure.”
He didn’t sound so sure, but Kyra couldn’t blame him. This whole scenario was awkward.
Almost as awkward as Zeke and Glen’s first meeting at the fair. She certainly didn’t want it to end the same way.
“Excuse me for a second.” She got up from her chair. “Buddy, can you talk to Glen for a few minutes while I talk to your father?”
Ledger did the one-hundred pound exaggerated head nod. “Yeah.”
“I’ll be right back.” She snagged Zeke’s tattooed arm, jerked him away from the table, and practically dragged him to the other side of the coffee shop.
“You’re really pushing your luck,” she muttered under her breath. When she stopped, she spun on him and hissed, “Zeke, go home. You have no reason to be here.”
“Home?”
She flapped a hand around. “Wherever. My place. The clubhouse. Your parents’. I don’t care. Just go somewhere that. Is. Not. Here.”
“Don’t want you with him, babe.”
She desperately tried to not roll her eyes. “I’m very aware of that. And you are fully aware why I met Glen here. But your actions are currently making me question mine.”
He grinned.
She glared. “Don’t you grin! This isn’t a joyous occasion.”
“Maybe not for”—he tipped his head toward the table where Glen waited patiently—“him. But sure as fuck is for me. Just wanted to make sure you’re safe.”
Safe? Bullshit.
She sighed. Long and loudly. “Don’t make me regret this.”
“Coulda broke up with him with a fuckin’ text.”
“That would be rude and he doesn’t deserve that. He’s been nothing but kind to me and Ledger. In fact, you should take notes.”
“Last thing I fuckin’ need is notes from that guy.” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder toward the table where Glen and Ledger sat.
Of course, both sets of eyes were turned their way. “Take Ledger and go. Please.”
“You got it, babe. Gonna take our son and leave. Just glad you came to your senses.” He turned and made quick work returning to the table.
“My…” She hurried after him. When she got back to the table, she plastered a smile onto her face, even though she was in the mood to strangle her son’s father, instead. “Thank you for keeping him occupied, Glen.”
“Sure thing. He’s a great kid.”
“A kid who ain’t yours.” After taking Ledger’s hand, Zeke said to Kyra, “Since I ain’t gonna disappoint my boy, gonna get him a hot chocolate, then wait for you at home.”
She groaned at the low-key attempt at hinting that they were living together. Even though they weren’t.
She raised her eyebrows. “There is a box of hot chocolate back at the house.”
“Ain’t the same. Told my boy I’m gettin’ him a hot chocolate and that’s what I’m doin’. We’ll sit elsewhere. Ain’t gonna bother you again.”
Him just being present was going to put a wrench in her plans.
She watched Zeke and their son swagger hand-in-hand to the counter. Ledger was truly his father’s son.
Normally, that sight would melt her heart, but knowing he purposely tried to sabotage her plans, thinking it was something other than what it was, annoyed her instead.
She stared at his back. Of course he was wearing his cut. The man needed to make a statement no matter where he went.
The whole reason he’d shown up at Above the Ground.
As soon as she turned her attention back to Glen, he said, “I now know why I haven’t seen you since our last date weeks ago and why you wanted to meet today.”
Good job, Zeke, for making me feel even worse. “I wanted to explain.”
Glen rose to his feet and lifted a palm. “At this point, no explanation is needed. While it’s not a surprise that you want to get back with the father of your child, the surprise is you think it’s better to be with an ex-con who cheated on you. I wish you a happy life, Kyra. Ledger, too.”
She opened her mouth to defend Zeke but she couldn’t deny what Glen said was true. “I’m sorry.”
Glen gave her a sharp nod and spun on his heels to head out the door.
She watched him leave, and while she was distracted, the chair next to her was pulled out, making her jump, and Zeke settled Ledger in it before taking the chair previously occupied by Glen. “Since he booked it outta here, figured we can sit with you.”
“Don’t look so damn smug.”
Of course, that didn’t do anything to flatten out his smile. In fact, it got bigger.
The man could be infuriating.
She glanced back at the door where Glen had disappeared.
Was she making another mistake by letting a good man go?
“Babe.”
She turned back to the biker sitting across from her.
“Right choice. Promise you, ain’t gonna regret it.”
That was debatable. She only hoped it was true.
Especially when it came to the little boy next to her, sipping on his hot chocolate with whipped cream clinging to his upper lip.
“You didn’t grab a napkin for him?”
Zeke’s lips twitched as he pushed away from the table and stood. “Be right back.”
And once again, she couldn’t drag her gaze from the man with the sexy swagger as he made his way back to the counter.
Damn it. Her life decisions should be based on more than sex and swagger.