Chapter 20 Beckham
BECKHAM
My parents’ house looked like a pink-and-blue bomb had gone off. Streamers, confetti, plates, and napkins. Somehow it all blended flawlessly with the rustic charm of the Bronson ranch.
Sage’s gender reveal theme was boots and bows, and I had to give it to them—it was a damn cute idea.
Parker stood on the opposite side of the house from me, talking with the girls about something I couldn’t decipher.
Not that I was trying to read her lips. My entire focus was homed in on her belly under the swell of her light pink dress.
How her hand came up to rest on the bump while she spoke.
How she looked like a fucking angel standing there with the light shining in from the window behind her.
The woman made me so damn parched, I was already on my fourth bottle of water since arriving here with her two hours ago.
We’d come together, and it’d nearly killed me when I helped her down from my truck and had to let go of her hand.
No public intimacy had been her rule though, and if following it meant I could have her in the privacy of my home, I wouldn’t break it.
“Travis just looked at me like I was some sort of fucking animal,” Bailey went on, telling a story about some shit that happened on the ranch yesterday.
Lennon chuckled, already on his second beer. “One day, my dad’s going to decide to never let you come back.”
Bailey smiled. “My life’s goal is to catch that man off guard.”
Lettie sidled up next to him, leaning into his side as he wrapped an arm around her. I hadn’t even noticed her cross the room. “Oh, that’s your life’s goal, is it?”
Bailey leaned over to press a kiss to her cheek. “That, and ruining every surface on this ranch.”
Lennon made a gagging noise, a dribble of beer sliding down his chin. He wiped at it with the back of his hand. “I do not need to know that shit.”
Bailey’s smile only grew as he took a sip of beer.
“Beck,” Lettie said, grabbing my attention. “You okay?”
I looked down to find a furrow in her brows. “Yeah. All good.”
She always worried about her brothers, the same way we were all protective of her. But the past few months, her check-ins had become more frequent.
I guess that’s what happened when I lost myself to alcohol.
“He’s just a little distracted,” Bailey chimed in.
Confusion marred Lettie’s forehead before her eyes followed the direction I was facing. Realization replaced the creases. “Oh.”
I shook my head. “No. Don’t ‘oh’ me like that. There’s nothing going on.”
“She’s living in your house,” Lennon pointed out.
“Thanks for the reminder.” I shot him a glare.
“Are you guys—” Lettie started, but I cut her off before she could finish that question.
“No.” I tugged my cowboy hat lower. “She needed a place to stay, and I have an extra room. It’s as simple as that.”
“Is it ever as simple as that between you and Parker?” Bailey mumbled into his drink before tossing it back.
“Yes,” I said at the exact same moment Lettie answered, “No.”
We sent twin glares at each other.
“You guys are insufferable,” I muttered.
The front door opened, and Brandy popped her head in. “The reveal is ready!”
Sage’s face lit up as Callan intertwined their fingers, immediately leading them outside. Parker’s gaze met mine briefly before she followed Oakley out. My feet were moving before I could think to stop them, and I heard Bailey utter behind me, “It’s definitely not that simple.”
While we all gathered outside, I didn’t even try to hide the fact that I was searching for Parker. As soon as I found her, I made my way over and didn’t stop until I was by her side.
“You doing okay?” I asked, my hand brushing hers. “Do you need anything?”
“I’m okay,” she whispered, eyes trained on the barn ahead of us.
“If you need a minute…”
She shook her head, pinky nudging my hand.
Seconds later, the doors to the barn were shoved open by Reed and Brandy, and little shrieks of excitement came from the girls.
Brandy held a thumbs up past the doors, and hooves sounded.
Slow at first, and then they picked up to a trot before Avery appeared on Boots, the horse Callan got her.
She had the biggest smile on her face as she emerged from the barn, pink balloons billowing behind her where they were attached to the back of the saddle.
Cheers and clapping sounded from the group, my mom and dad turning to hug each other.
Tears filled the former’s eyes while my dad smiled wide as ever.
Sage and Callan instantly ran for Avery, where she pulled Boots to a stop.
Callan reached up and swooped her down, spinning her in his arms before the three of them hugged.
My brother was having a girl.
I couldn’t help it as moisture gathered in my eyes.
I looked down to find Parker with the biggest grin on her face.
She turned her attention on me, eyes gleaming, and I might’ve imagined it, but I think her fingers wrapped around mine for the briefest moment.
I wasn’t sure, though, as every time I got caught up in the reality of her standing before me, everything else faded away.
At the same time, she was bringing me back. Rooting me to the present and showing me light could be found, even when my head was stuck in a pit of darkness.
I lost track of how much time had passed since we arrived at my parents’ house. All I knew was that the sun was setting, and I was happy.
Parker had excused herself from the front porch a while ago, and I was trying not to let my concern show.
She couldn’t possibly be in labor…right?
She was over five months pregnant now, and while I knew scares could happen, I got the feeling she hadn’t disappeared due to those types of complications.
Even so, if she was fighting a mental battle right now, getting lost in herself, I didn’t want her to be alone in that.
She might think she had to hide those types of things to keep up the image of being strong—but like myself, she had to learn that being low was okay, too.
Not every day, every moment, were we capable of pasting on smiles.
I excused myself from my family, who were all gathered around the long table.
Reed’s eyes tracked me as I moved, and I only hoped he didn’t follow me.
The family had, for some reason, tasked him with keeping an eye on me over the last six or so months.
While we had our share of disagreements, I’d gotten the sense he was tired of playing the overbearing big brother role.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d all made a pact to watch me today, though, between the drinking and the baby stuff.
After a quick search through the house, I found it was empty.
A glance at the back sliding door showed it was cracked, a chilled breeze making its way inside.
I crossed the room, planning to close it, when Parker’s form took shape at the railing on the porch.
Little pieces of hair were floating around her face, her cheeks slightly red from the cold.
From where I stood, I could only see a portion of the side of her face.
Her arms were crossed where she leaned on the wood in front of her, her ivory sweater pulled tight around her to ward off the chill.
Slowly, I slid open the door until I had enough space to slip out.
I wasn’t quiet as I closed it and moved to her side.
Still, knowing I was there, she continued to stare out at the land.
Faint oranges and purples mingled with the horizon, only minutes of the colorful canvas left in the day.
With the darkening landscape, the outdoor lights strung up across the porch began burning brighter, casting a golden glow over the worn wood.
She didn’t speak, so I didn’t either. Instead, I fought the urge to pull her into my side as I followed her line of sight.
Minutes passed before she said, “Do you ever feel like time is moving too fast?”
I looked down at her, finding her gaze still hooked on the darkening landscape. “All the time.”
She seemed to think on that a moment before saying, “What if this is my only pregnancy, and I’m sitting here blinking and missing it as it flies by?”
I swallowed, because if I had it my way, and this pregnancy went well, she’d be pregnant a hundred more times. Babies with her had always been my dream. “Do you not want more kids?”
Glassy eyes met mine. “Do you really think anyone will want me after I’ve had another man’s baby?”
I do, I almost said, but stopped myself right before the admission passed my lips.
“You’re having your baby, Parker. And that doesn’t mean you’re tainted. It means you grew an entire human, and you’re beyond fucking strong for doing it. Any man that doesn’t see that, send them to me.” Send me any man that talks to you. I’ll show them what happens when they go near my Parker.
Her lips rolled together before she broke our stare. “I just don’t want to regret missing these moments. Women have photoshoots, gender reveals, baby showers. They decorate a room and pack a hospital bag. All I’ve had time to focus on is myself. I’m already selfish, and he’s not even here yet.”
I cupped her chin, forcing her to look at me.
“Don’t ever say you’re selfish. You’re doing the things you need to do to ensure your child has a good life when he comes into this world.
None of that is selfish. But you also can’t forget about you.
We’ll make all that happen, if that’s what you want. ”
Her eyes welled with tears, but they didn’t fall. “It’s too late,” she whispered.
“It’s never too late.” My focus darted to her glistening lips.
Her breathing seemed to deepen, her cheeks reddening further as she noticed where I was staring. “We can’t kiss.” The statement was barely audible, like she didn’t want to be reminded of it either.
“I know,” I murmured.