Chapter Eleven #2
He leaned closer to her and kept his voice low.
The diner was packed, so the likelihood that he would be overheard was small, but he didn’t want to take the chance.
Applewood was a small town and people liked to gossip.
Most people likely knew about Autumn’s condition already since her parents were in town and not hiding it, but he hoped they would keep any questions to themselves.
“Are you sure you want to know?”
Autumn smiled sadly and nodded. “I’ll stop you if it gets to be too much.” Despite the heartache in her voice, there was also a thread of excitement that gave Felix hope that she would be alright.
“Okay.” Felix smiled and searched his memory banks for some of their best diner stories.
Settling on one he thought she would appreciate, he turned to face her more fully.
“We have a lot of memories here from high school when we would ditch last period to eat pancakes, but I’ll save those for another time.
” Autumn chuckled and Felix took it as a good sign to continue.
“There was one time just after you were home on a break from college that sticks out though. You wanted me to meet your roommate, Mallory.”
Autumn raised a brow at the mention of the woman’s name. “Why does it sound like you’re saying her name with a sneer?”
Felix barked a laugh at her astute observation.
“Because I am. Mallory was the worst, but you were so excited at the possibility of me liking her that I agreed to a double date.” Felix shook his head as he remembered the tall redhead who cared more about constantly checking her make-up than making good conversation.
“Sadly, I didn’t do much better and brought along a guy that I met while visiting breweries, though in my defense, Chad seemed like a nice guy at the time. ”
Autumn’s nose scrunched up adorably. “Ew, Chad? You should have known from the name alone that he was bad news.”
Felix shrugged. “What can I say? Outside of my brothers, I didn’t really know many other guys.
” The server dropped off their meals and Felix nodded his thanks.
“Anyway, we sat in that booth in the corner and tried to make conversation. About halfway through the dinner, it became obvious that Mallory was paying more attention to Chad’s muscles and tattoos than me, and he was too busy staring at her boobs to ask you about yourself, but we’re nothing if not committed, so we tried to stick it out. ”
Autumn paused halfway through chewing one of her fries. “Oh no. Why didn’t we leave?”
Felix shook his head sadly as the memory played out in his mind.
“We did, just not until we had both gone to the bathroom only to come back and find Chad and Mallory playing tonsil hockey.” Felix swiped his fry through some ketchup and popped it into this mouth.
The greasy, salty goodness was almost enough to erase that image from his mind, but not quite.
“They were practically doing it in the booth. I thought poor Mr. Harvey was going to have a heart attack when he came out and saw it, and that’s not even the worst part. ”
Autumn’s eyes shot wide. “What could be worse than that?”
Felix smiled mischievously. “That asshole ate what was left of my fries,” he quipped as he stole one of the crunchy potatoes off her plate.
Autumn laughed and slapped Felix’s arm. “Not cool, Fe.” She pilfered one of his in retaliation until they were both just laughing and stuffing themselves with fried potatoes.
Seeing Autumn so carefree gave Felix another idea.
Signaling for the server, he asked for a couple of boxes for their burgers.
“We’re leaving already? Did the story bring up unresolved trauma for you? ”
Giving her a withering look, he slapped some money down on the counter, grabbed their bags, and started toward the door.
“No, smartass. Though if I could erase the image of those two going at it from my mind forever I would.” The moment the words left his mouth, Felix knew he’d made a mistake.
Turning to face her, he was unsurprised to see hurt in Autumn’s eyes.
“Shit, Auts. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. ”
Autumn looked slightly offended, but it cleared soon enough.
“It’s okay, Felix,” she said with a weary sigh.
” Fuck, she was back to using his full name.
He needed to get them back on track before any more distance was created between them.
“I get that some things would be better left forgotten.” Her words were forgiving, but there was a stiffness to her posture and a dimness in her eyes that hadn’t been there before.
Wanting to get back the playfulness he’s squandered with his careless words, Felix pulled her outside and steered her towards his car, draping his arm over her shoulder for good measure. “It was still a stupid thing for me to say, but I know how I can make it up to you.”
Autumn smiled cautiously at him. “If it’s more stories about dates gone wrong, I think I’m good.”
Felix shook his head as he helped her into the passenger seat. “No, it’s much better than that. It’s another place I can take you to that has special meaning. Only good memories there.”
Autumn smiled as he shut the door. Stashing their food in the back, Felix drove them to the small outcropping of evergreen trees on the other side of his family’s orchard.
Autumn stared out the window at the green forest that stood out against the still blue sky.
“What memories could we possibly have in the middle of the woods?”
Felix beamed at her as he thought about all the good times they’d shared in the special place they’d not visited in far too long.
“You’ll see.” Stepping out of the car, he grabbed the rest of their food, meeting Autumn in front of the hood.
“How about I give you a run down while I take us out to Autumn and Felix’s Fantastic Fort of Fun? ”
Autumn’s feet paused for a moment as she stared at him.
“Fort of Fun?” She reluctantly started following him again as he stepped through thick underbrush.
When they got to the area thicker with fallen trees and rocks, Felix held out his hand for her, pleased when she took it without question.
Her eyes darted around the thick group of trees wearily.
“Does this fort have a cushy reclining chair and a large television, because that’s the kind of fun I could go for right about now. ”
Felix smiled over his shoulder as he led them deeper into the trees.
“We can do that when we get home. Right now, we’re going to have the kind of fun we used to when we were younger.
” He pushed aside a few low branches as he stepped into the clearing that housed the makeshift fort they’d retreated to so often when they were in high school. “Here it is.”
Autumn came to a stop next to him and looked over their Fort of Fun.
Slanted wooden boards that were warped and rotted were barely held together by bent, rusted nails.
It was essentially a ramshackle old shed that had been cobbled together and then abandoned by some other kids before them, but to the younger pair of best friends looking to escape their small town, if only in their imaginations, it was as good as a castle.
“Wow.” Her voice sounded less than impressed, but as she stepped closer, Felix thought he could see some of the magic of their special place coming back to her.
Joining her, Felix narrated a pseudo tour of the place.
“As you can see, this is an open concept fort. No doors to speak off to offer a more welcoming environment.” Autumn silently pointed to the words Stay Out that had been spray painted in red letters on part of the wood, a wry smile on her face. “Okay. A mostly welcoming environment.”
They stepped inside, and Felix smiled at the old café table and lawn chairs they used to sit in and pretend that they were older, more serious versions of themselves as they made plans for the future.
Felix knew his plan always included staying in Applewood, but Autumn had different aspirations at the time.
Of course, those were mostly her parent’s influence, but he couldn’t help wondering if maybe now that she had another blank slate in front of her if she would want something different again.
Felix sat in the chair, the left side sinking into the soft ground as he did.
Autumn snickered at him but took the opposite chair. “So, what exactly did we do for fun here?” She brushed a few dead pine needles off the table and rested her hands there.
“The name was more of a nod to our love of alliteration at the time,” he explained.
“But we used to do all kinds of things here. Applewood is small and there are only so many times you can go to the movies or get your parents to drive you to the bowling alley two towns over.” He shrugged, thinking back on exactly what they’d gotten up to.
“We used to come out here and shoot empty soup cans with paintball guns, or sometimes we’d do our homework at this table just to have a change of scenery, but mostly we just talked about random stuff or about the future lives we hoped to be living in ten years.
” He chuckled as he thought about fifteen-year-old Felix thinking that twenty-five was so old .
What a difference a decade makes. “Oh, I almost forgot the best part.”
Grabbing Autumn’s hand, he led her out of the precarious building and out toward the wooden bench swing that hung from a large tree branch.
“Oh my gosh,” Autumn squealed excitedly.
Running ahead of him, she sat down on the long plank of wood and slowly started to drift back and forth. “This is amazing!”
Felix dropped the bag of cheeseburgers on an old tree stump and stepped behind her. “Want a push?” Autumn nodded, her smile wide as she looked at him over her shoulder. “Hold on.”
Felix proceeded to push her, lightly at first but then with more force as she went higher and higher, her light laughter drifting down to him as he did.
The sound healed some of the fissures that had formed in his heart since he’d heard about her amnesia and had him looking forward to the future, a future that he hoped would include more of the two of them simply enjoying each other’s company just as they were in that moment.
“Enough, enough,” she called with a giggle.
Her feet were nearly touching some of the tree branches in front of her and it almost looked like she was flying. The thought made Felix both happy and sad, wanting to see her as free as she’d once been but not wanting her to take that new freedom and leave him.
Felix slowed her to a stop, grabbed the burgers, and joined her on the swing, shaking off the feeling of potential loss that had settled over him. Tonight was about fun with his friend, so he would focus on that. “Shove over,” he said, nudging her with his elbow.
Autumn shoved him back. “Hey, no one invited you to share this bench.” Her eyes were teasing, the sight lifting the rest of the heaviness he’d felt off his chest.
Felix pulled the small box that contained her burger out of the bag and wiggled it in front of her face before moving it just out of her reach.
“If you want this delicious burger, you’ll be a good girl and share the bench.
” Autumn elbowed him in the gut and stole the box. “Not cool,” he breathed out.
“Serves you right.” She nodded curtly before tearing into the box and stuffing part of the burger into her mouth.
“ Ohmygod .” Her moan was obscene, but Autumn didn’t seem to notice or care that she was making such noises.
Felix sure as hell did, and so did his dick.
The poor guy was practically weeping as it pressed against his zipper.
It seemed like Felix would be plagued with a case of perma-erection until they moved their relationship further.
If it moved further. “This is so good,” she mumbled.
Wiping some grease from her chin with the back of her hand, she stared at the remainder of her burger lovingly. “How could I have forgotten you?”
The heart that had partially healed cracked a little bit more at her words.
How could she have forgotten him? To distract himself from that maudlin thought, Felix bit into his own burger.
He could tell that the meat patties were cooked to perfection and the cheese had melted into the beef in such a way that created an almost creamy texture to it, all of which was contrasted nicely by the crispy bacon.
Too bad it all tasted like ash in his mouth.
“Oh no,” Autumn said, a concerned expression on her face. “Sad puppy is back.”
Felix laughed humorlessly. “I hate that I’m so easy to read.” He stuffed the burger he had no appetite for back into the bag and set it on the ground. “I’m not trying to be sad, Auts.” He brushed a stray sesame seed off the side of her mouth with his finger. “I just wish you remembered me.”
Autumn grabbed his hand and held it against her cheek, sighing wistfully.
“I wish I remembered you too.” They stayed there like that for a long moment before a squirrel skittering across the forest floor in front of the swing startled them out of their position.
Autumn tore a piece of her bun off and tossed it to the little guy.
“I don’t know what to say to make you feel better, but I hope you know that even though I don’t remember the person you were to me before, I really appreciate the person you are to me now. ”
Felix tried and failed to push down a lump of emotion that was lodged in his throat, wishing that in that moment, he could be everything to her just as she was to him.
Watching her struggle and knowing that he contributed to it even in the smallest of ways made him feel more helpless than he ever had, and somehow, he knew the future of their relationship hinged on her answer to his next question.
“What am I now?” he exhaled.
Despite the sadness she was clearly still feeling, Autumn smiled, her shoulder bobbing up and down. “A friend?”
The word friend stung slightly, but it was still far better than what he’d been a few weeks ago. “I’ll take it.”
Rising from the swing, Felix held his hand out once more.
As Autumn grasped it and they made their way back to the car, Felix thought over their conversation and smiled.
In just a few weeks he had gone from total stranger to friend.
With a little more time, he hoped he could become even more than that.