Chapter Fifteen
M av glanced back as Bob pulled Lee along the trail in the vast meadow behind the lodge. Every time they stopped to rest, she’d give unhandsome Bob a scratch behind the ears and tell him how nice he looked.
Mav was not jealous of a dog.
For Lee’s ease of trekking, Mav had switched out Bob for Kenai, since Kenai had an ingrained need to lead. Kenai’s leash that was attached to Mav’s harness was longest and she strode out in front of Klister, Denali, and Kaaktuq, who snacked on snow along the way. The dogs had settled into the activity, no longer barking with excitement, since now they were doing the thing they wanted to do in the first place.
The midday weather had turned, with increased wind signaling the leading edge of tonight’s predicted storm. He checked his satellite phone, similar to the one he gave the guests to use for trail emergencies. No messages. The guests might still be in town—they had planned to go out for lunch, supplies, and drinks before returning later this afternoon.
At the far side of the meadow, he stopped his team and waited as Lee caught up to him a minute later. Walking quickly thanks to the one dog-power engine pulling her, Lee had gotten the hang of the hip belt and leash that connected to Bob’s harness.
Once she reached him, Mav gave a signal and the dogs all immediately lay down in curled-up balls on the trail. Even retired sled dogs knew to nap at any opportunity.
Man, Lee was adorable, decked out in snow pants that had some shape thanks to the hip belt, a puffy coat she’d partially unzipped to thermoregulate, a neck gaiter that rested below her chin, and a green and red wool beanie that set off her pink cheeks and made her brown eyes glow when she removed her sunglasses in the lower light. If she hated the Alaskan outback, she hid it well.
Why did he assume she’d hate it?
No way would he answer the question. Lee wasn’t Skylar.
More to the point, Lee wouldn’t be in Yukon Valley forever, and Mav needed to pound that reality into his thick skull.
“Wow,” she said for the thousandth time today. Lee rotated in a slow circle. In between wind-driven snow squalls, the lodge appeared as a small dot on the far side of the meadow. Well-used trails diverged at their current location and went hundreds of miles into the wilderness or over to town five miles away. “This place is amazing.”
He propped his sunglasses on his head. “I’m really glad you like it.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
He hedged, “Not everyone likes the discomfort of cold weather and dealing with smelly dogs.”
She popped her free hand on her hip. “Are we back to the part where you think I can’t handle things here?”
“I—” Damn it. “No.”
“It’s one thing to be from somewhere else and hate everything about the unfamiliar place. It’s another thing to have new experiences and decide to be happy wherever you land.” A puff of vapor escaped her pink lips. “You might not understand that if you’ve only lived in one place. Or if you’ve never given anyone a chance to try and enjoy different things and discover for themselves.”
“Whoa. That’s a lot to process.” He put his hands up. “First of all, I’ve introduced others to this world, and some people didn’t like it. Second, my bad for making that early assumption about your lack of ability to live here in Yukon Valley. You’re never going to let me live down those comments.”
“Nope.” Lee stomped a boot. God, she was cute.
He refocused on averting a conversation disaster. “Third of all”—Mav looked down at his motley group of dogs that had gotten him through adventures, near-death experiences, and more than one heartbreak—“I’m sorry.”
Lee opened her mouth on a small sound, then closed it. “Pardon?”
“I don’t always react in the best way. That’s my personal baggage talking. I’ll try not to make assumptions.”
Narrowing her eyes, she said, “You’re a guy being insightful. Is this a trap?”
“I mean it. I know when I’m out of line. Dee reminds me of it every chance she can.” He took off the backpack he carried, pulled out two bottles of water, and handed her one. “As for the rest of it, let’s say that I’ve seen firsthand how someone thinks they want to be here with me and the dogs, but then decides that both the here parts and the dog parts suck. I wasn’t enough to make up for those things.”
“Okay, yes. That’s rough.” She opened the nozzle on the bottle and took a sip, then tilted her head. “The dogs aren’t terrible at all. They’re quite bunch of characters, but they’re still family and they love you for who you are.”
“If only all humans were as accepting.” The words came out before he could stop them. “Look, that’s my junk to carry around. You don’t need to know all the details. It’s a relationship that sucked. It’s done.”
Her brown eyebrows rose, like she’d discovered something.
Another few minutes passed, punctuated by the occasional whuff of a dog getting more comfortable. Mav hovered nearby but didn’t come any closer.
After a few minutes, Lee capped the bottle and handed it back to him. “You’re not the only person with baggage.”
He stowed the container in the backpack on the ground. “I figured,” he said gently.
“Did you now?” she bristled.
Crap. Backpedal, man . “You had brought up an ex earlier.”
Her shoulders rose and fell. “Ex-husband. He never cared to understand my job, unless it somehow benefitted him.” Putting her mitten back over the liner, she flashed a self-deprecating smile. “My value was in how he could use me as a social prop and how he could advance his career with my family’s connections. He liked my pocketbook. Too much.”
Whistling low, Mav gave her upper arm a quick squeeze. “What a piece of work. What kind of man thinks that your work isn’t significant? Or takes advantage of the money you bring in?”
“Any of our jobs in healthcare are important. And not just healthcare. To undermine what a person does, who they are…” She huffed. “Work’s not everything. I get it. We all have lives outside of medicine that are meaningful. But wanting someone to participate in their life outside of work is different than degrading the work they’re doing.”
“What the—” Mav stopped himself. “Never mind. Not going to say what I’m thinking.”
“Hey, I picked him. There’s not much you can say that I haven’t thought.” She held up a hand when he opened his mouth. “How we ended up married is a long story that involved my residency training, plus exhaustion and long hours sprinkled with naivete and combined with his excellent acting ability.”
“Huh.”
“He liked to play the part of a rising local politician. Enjoyed the finer things in life, without looking at the price tags.”
“Guessing you supplied those finer things in life?”
“My paycheck sure did, and I was way too busy and way too trusting to realize what he was doing until he had dug us into a hell of a hole. Debt that we couldn’t show anyone because it might tarnish his squeaky clean, successful image.”
“He sounds swell.”
“What you want to say is that I sure picked a winner, huh?” Her dry laugh chilled the air a few more degrees. “Short answer? After we were married, he was not the same guy. Took me a minute to figure it out.” She shrugged. “Anyway, that’s my baggage. Not that it’s a contest at all,” Lee said, kicking her boot toe into the hip-deep snow on the side of the trail.
“Not a lot of respect for you or what you did.”
She gave another curt nod. “Case in point. Healthcare worker schedule logistics. You and I know that changing schedules are part of the territory and we work around it, and we understand if there are last-minute situations, right? Not my ex. Medical emergencies that cut into his plans or if I was committed to take call on a day he wanted to add a social function, he’d flip out.”
Mav rolled a thick gloved hand into a fist. “Not physically.”
“No. More like emotional manipulation and meanness.” One corner of her mouth dropped. “Well, then there was the cheating. And I mentioned draining my savings account.”
“You’re kidding.”
She shook her head, head ducked but cheeks pink, like she was both embarrassed and pissed. “After the divorce papers were served, he was so mad that he filed a HIPAA whistleblower suit on me, alleging that I had discovered his affair by accessing a patient’s chart and reading the chart notes.”
His jaw dropped. “What?”
“Apparently, his girlfriend was at some point a patient in my hospital. I had no idea.”
“I assume everything got cleared up.”
“Totally. With electronic medical records nowadays, every log-in and every click is tracked. I never was in that chart.” She rubbed her nose with the back of her mitten.
“This is unreal. I can’t believe someone would go to those lengths to hurt you.”
At her sad smile, he stepped forward then stopped himself as she drawled, “If I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’.”
“What does that mean?”
“Means yes, he did those things. And yes, they happened without me knowing at first. Yes, I was a little clueless and too busy to see what was going on.” With a jut of her jaw, she added, “But he can’t do those things to me anymore.”
Mav took a few seconds to pull his thoughts together. Her ex was as useless as moose droppings. It took a real tool to go that deep into the well of asshole-ness.
Of course she felt gun-shy. Exposed. Probably financially vulnerable.
Mav rocked back on his heels as an intense need hit him. He wanted to be the man who proved to Lee that not all men were like that guy. He wanted to be the exact opposite. He wanted to provide for her, even if that only went as far as supporting the work she did.
Also, he wanted five minutes of polite, civil, one-on-one… conversation… with the ex.
Her voice cut through his dark thoughts. “Uh, sorry. I don’t normally go into my history. I don’t normally vent. It’s not fair for you, and it puts a damper on the nice day.”
“It’s your story to tell. You decide what to tell me. Besides, the day is nice with you in it.” He unclenched his rolled fist. “It means a lot that you shared that with me.” He rested his gloved hand on her shoulder, needing to anchor his churning thoughts and ground his anger. Needing to support her.
“Um, you, too, for sharing about your past.” She gave an icy laugh. “Guess we both have issues we’re dealing with.” Lee rested her cheek against his hand. He couldn’t feel her skin, but the gesture cracked open something inside of his chest.
He squared up to stand close, facing her. “You know that what you do is important, right? You, being here, in Yukon Valley, caring for those patients. It’s needed. It’s appreciated. No one around here cares if anyone is rich or not. People here just want to make their way in the world, provide for their families, and be successful in whatever they do.”
“Um.” She dropped eye contact with a suspicious sheen in her gaze.
Tilting her chin up, he added, “I’m glad you’re out here with me today.”
It killed him when she blinked several times.
She bit her lower lip, then set her jaw in a determined jut. “It’s easy to hang out here. This area is peaceful. Your lodge is amazing, and your dogs are fun. Anyone would be happy to be here.” She paused. “With you. You’re a good guy. You know that, right?”
She was a champ at changing the subject back to him.
But her words, the way she saw him, struck a nerve.
Lee had a tender heart, and Mav knew she was being kind. He recognized that all he had to offer was his rural paramedic work, a failing business, limited cell phone and Wi-Fi access, and a mangy bunch of old sled dogs.
Even so, he still wanted to prove to Lee that she mattered, that there were guys out there who weren’t like her ex. Guys like Mav who might not be fancy but for sure appreciated the hell out of the amazing person that she was.
Damn it. He shouldn’t.
The pink in her cheeks glowed in the overcast day.
Unable to stop himself, he drew her toward him and dipped his head to kiss her, inhaling the scents of fresh air, tart salmonberry, and a hint of flowers. She sighed against his lips and opened to him, drawing him in deeper. Those profound and altruistic thoughts fled. Within a minute, his brain stopped functioning, and he couldn’t tell where he ended and where she began.
The wind whipped around them, but his senses only registered her scent, her taste, her soft skin under his lips. He wanted to move slowly. Take care with her heart. Remind her of her value. Prove his own worth to her and to himself.
He also wanted to explore more of her right now, frostbite be damned.
He kissed the corner of her mouth and tasted… salt?
As he pulled away, his gut clenched at the track of tears down one cheek. “Lee. Oh gosh. Hey, if I—”
“No, it’s me.” Her quiet voice cut through the gale.
He carefully wiped the moisture away with his insulated thumb. “Is that a variation on the it’s-me-not-you line?”
She nestled her cheek against his palm for a minute, then peeked up at him. “Sorry. Not sure where all those feelings came from.”
“You never need to apologize, Lee. It’s okay to feel things out here.” Her frame trembled underneath his hands. “Except for cold. Seems like I need to get you out of the weather.”
“Your way of warming me up wasn’t all bad.” The pink on her cheeks deepened and her eyes danced.
His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. Say something. Anything.
She dropped her gaze and cleared her throat. Moment gone.
At Mav’s feet, Kaaktuq shifted, then let out a satisfied whuff and a doggy fart.
Moment killed.
Mav and Lee laughed, but a few seconds later, they both recoiled in horror.
“Buddy, seriously, what is wrong with you?” Mav held his hand over his nose.
The dog raised his head and opened his mouth in an unrepentant and largely empty smile.
Lee backpedaled. Bob jumped up, ready to run again, tangling around her legs in his excitement. She tripped on him.
Mav grabbed her by the waist right before she face-planted. When he hauled her upright, her laughter rang out across the meadow, triggering his own grin.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She waved her hand in front of her face and scrunched up her nose, pointing to Kaaktuq. “It’s like a thousand dead fish rotting in the sun. How can something so small and cute create that much stink?”
“Told you he’s deadly.” He groaned, unable to escape the flatulent dog now tethered to him. “Probably a good time to head back to the lodge.”