Chapter Nineteen
W e were done anyway.
Biggest understatement Mav had ever spoken.
His throat burned and shoulders ached as the implications of this entire weekend bore down on him. Soon, he would have nothing left except the dogs. He patted Kenai’s head as she and the others lapped up fresh water.
If he lost the lodge, he wouldn’t have a place to keep his dogs. His gut twisted in a knot.
The family business, his parents’ dream, the wild and beautiful land close enough to town to do his job, the place where his dogs lived—all of it would come to an abrupt end.
At least he still had his paramedic job, and it did give him satisfaction to help patients. That work would fill some of the gaping void. Like a single suture holding together a long, deep laceration, it wouldn’t be enough, but it would be something.
He checked his watch. 5:20. He needed to start back to the lodge before the weather turned again. He had to feed the team their dinner. He would return to a home he might have just lost. God, what was he going to tell Dee? His gut clenched. He didn’t want to add another loss to all that she already dealt with.
Peering out the window across the parking lot, he stared at the red and white EMERGENCY sign. The shapes of the letters wavered in and out of focus as snow gusts blew past.
Speaking of things he had lost. We were done anyway .
With a groan, he sat on the concrete floor next to the team. The sounds of wet lapping and snuffling normally made him smile. He dropped his chin on his knee and watched water dribble out of Bob’s lopsided mouth.
Lee made him smile and so much more.
What he’d give to stay in that moment before the satellite phone call.
He loved that Lee wore too many layers because she had no clue how to dress for Alaskan weather. He loved the care she provided the patients in the hospital, treating them all like family. He loved her laughter, enthusiasm, and bright conversation as they hiked with the dogs across the meadow. He loved that she loved his dogs.
He would carry the sensation of her soft lips pressed to his and the feel of her body trembling beneath him for the rest of his life.
Damn it. He dropped a gloved fist on the floor with a muffled thud .
Kenai met his gaze with a dog smile filled with trust and love. Like she knew he would take care of them.
He sat up straighter.
No. This couldn’t be the end. He would fight. He would challenge whatever litigation Randy planned, right down to Mav’s last breath and dollar. The guy was slimy, and Mav was determined to prove it.
Mav might be tired and bruised by his situation, but he didn’t want to give up. His dogs needed a home. He would figure out a way to salvage this situation and save his family home. He needed to get back up for himself.
He wanted another chance at something more with Lee.
With what money would he fight?
Damn it, Mav wished he’d never met that guy.
He could start over elsewhere. A bone-deep weariness pressed on him, like gravity exerted twice as much force.
Of course he could start over. It was always an option. He wasn’t without skills. He could go to Fairbanks where a paramedic salary covered a small house or an apartment in town. He could sign on with the LifeMed flight team out of Fairbanks. In the past, they’d offered him a position, with a signing bonus.
None of that gave him what he wanted—the dogs, the lodge, a business to build, hanging out with Dee, his life in Yukon Valley.
And Lee.
The realization hit him like a punch to the gut. Lee held a piece of his heart. She was important to Mav.
Damn it, the timing sucked. He couldn’t act on his feelings. What was he supposed to say? Hey, I recently lost everything and have a limited future source of income and might be homeless and besides you’ll be leaving soon, want to hang out?
It wasn’t about money. Sure, he understood that she earned more than him. That fact didn’t make him insecure. In a relationship, he felt confident when he stood on his own two feet and made a meaningful contribution. Food, shelter, safety, shared interests, effort, support.
He wanted a partnership. He’d glimpsed the possibility in Lee’s intelligent brown eyes when they talked and when they worked together to take care of patients.
What he had wanted had been right there . Exhaustion wormed its way through him.
With one last pet of Kenai’s head, he collected the dogs’ bowls and thanked Louise and Hilda. He couldn’t fix his life right now, but he could care for his dogs.
Time to get back on the trail, feed them, and get the babies safely settled in at home… for as long as home lasted.
Kenai pressed her head against his knee and looked up at him with soulful eyes. She trusted that he’d take care of her.
Mav prepared to fight.