Chapter Twenty-Five
M av’s ears buzzed.
She was leaving.
For money.
And shopping .
“So. Was this not to your liking?” He moved his hand in an arc to indicate that this meant Yukon Valley, the hospital, the babies, and him.
“It’s not like that—”
“I know what I heard.” When he swallowed, the action felt like sand and tasted like failure. “This isn’t my first time with someone from the lower forty-eight thinking they want the Alaskan lifestyle. Until they hate it here.”
“I don’t hate it here.”
“But it’s not enough.” I’m not enough . Just like before. “Damn it, you’d think I would have learned by now.”
“This is a complicated situation.” She sat cross-legged on the bed, somehow withdrawing further into herself.
He’d seen a similar posture with Skylar years ago. After falling for the act in the past, he wasn’t sure if he bought it today.
“I have to think of my financial situation,” she said.
“You don’t like it here. Right? Too cold, too far away from shopping?”
Lee jumped to her feet, but didn’t meet his eyes. “You’re taking my words out of context.”
“Context seemed pretty clear from where I’m standing.”
“Damn it, Maverick. This is compl—”
“If you say complicated again, I may say something I will regret.” Was that low growl his? Damn. “I’m not fancy. I work hard. I don’t do ‘complicated.’ I am straightforward with everything I do.”
“I know—”
He lifted his hand to stop her useless words. “This stay in Yukon Valley and being here with me. You were killing time until the next best thing came along.”
Her warm brown eyes shimmered, the image of her pain nearly breaking him. “It sounds worse when you say it that way.”
“At least now you can say you got the full Alaska experience.”
She flinched like he’d physically hit her. He’d gone too far. He wanted to take back the words, but pride stuck his tongue in place.
With a voice barely above a whisper and her posture ramrod straight, she said, “We did not have sex as part of my Alaska experience . I am not casual about relationships.”
“Sure. You pick guys you can help. Like we’re a case to diagnose and cure?”
She recoiled. “What?”
Damn it. What had he said? “Here you are, the hero. You took care of this case, Lee. Good job. I mean it. You were great with handling Randy and thank you again for throwing your weight around as a doctor.” Stop talking , his brain begged his mouth. Didn’t work. He plowed ahead.
“And hey, you got your reward.” He motioned in the general vicinity of his dumb penis. “Now you can go where the grass is greener.” He hadn’t wanted to say any of that, but his past memories took over and shoved those damned words out of the damn hole in his face. He held up a hand, hauling in air like he had run a mile. “Lee, I’m sorry. That was out of line. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“But you did say it.” Her shuddering breath nearly drove him to his knees. “You weren’t totally wrong.”
Shit. “Which part was right?”
A sad, gulping laugh bubbled up. She stood there, in leggings and a thermal top and those cute wool socks, looking fragile and cold, and for a moment all he wanted to do was be her shelter to warm her up and take away her pain.
“You’re right,” she said. “I like to fix things. I try to make whatever situation I’m in a success, until it isn’t. I like to help others, sometimes to my detriment. I’m tempted by the greener grass because it helps me solve the financial mess I’m in. A mess that I’m partially responsible for because of my own decisions. All of that is true.”
He felt the shudder of her indrawn breath from across the room. Raw, painful emotion was written across her pinched expression.
She continued. “The other part that was true? That’s the part where you’re wrong. I do like Yukon Valley. I love the people here and all their silly quirks. I love your babies who look like disasters, but they are the most loyal team of dogs I could imagine. I love this lodge and the beautiful land around it.”
What else did she love? He leaned forward to catch her whisper.
“I thought I was starting to fall in love with you.”
“You thought.” Mav hadn’t hesitated. She had.
He knew for sure that he was falling in love with her. Knew that he needed Lee in his life. Right before she stepped out of it.
“Now I don’t know.” She sniffled. “Because now it doesn’t matter. I need to make a decision that impacts my whole life and well-being.”
“That decision won’t involve me. Or Yukon Valley.”
“I don’t know yet.”