Chapter Thirty
L ee didn’t move for a full minute.
She had been meaning to talk with Maverick this week, but work had gotten in the way. Truth be told, she’d avoided him. Calling the locums recruiter earlier today had been difficult enough.
Big decisions took time. Big decisions came with risk.
“Hi,” he said.
“You already said that.”
“Wasn’t sure how else to start again.” He shrugged off his beanie and coat and rested them on the bed. She resisted the urge to smooth his unruly hair.
Lee bit her lip. “How about we park ourselves on the edge of this barely used hospital bed and chat.”
His quick smile eased her tension. “Works for me.” After they both sat, he said, “How are things?”
“Good. Better.” She paused. “How’s the business?”
“Great. Dee and I have our schedules full with guests.” Even though he smiled, tense lines bracketed his eyes and mouth. He was still handsome with his tousled hair and his broad shoulders. “This week was busy with the dogs, working on the business, and EMS—those are like three full-time jobs,” he added.
A flash of concern hit her as she read the fatigue on his face. “You’re taking time to rest?”
“You know how it goes. Unpredictable schedules are part of the territory.”
Couldn’t argue that fact. “How are the babies?” It had only been a handful of days, but already she missed Kenai’s trusting brown eyes and Bob’s goofy overbite.
His blue gaze locked on to her. “They miss you.” Mav’s low voice wrapped around her like a warm embrace.
“Just the dogs?”
“No. Not just the dogs.” He started to say more, then stopped.
“I…” She cleared her throat and started again. “This week has been hard, figuring things out.”
“Same here.”
She froze. “Oh?”
“Normally, I’m all about ladies first, but I need to say some things to you.”
Being the focus of his blue eyes scared her. She’d never seen him this serious.
Given everything, he had every right to speak his piece first. “Okay.”
He stiffly perched on the edge of the bed, his face cut from stone. “What happened last weekend was a mistake.”
“Oh. Boy.” She sucked in a harsh breath and blinked hard against burning eyes. Gripping the edge of the mattress, she braced for what was about to happen.
“Wait. Damn it, that came out wrong,” he said. “What I mean is I made a mistake in what I said to you. I said that I was just a case for you to diagnose and fix. That you were here to get the Alaska experience and then you’d leave.” A muscle jumped in his jaw. “I cut both of us off at the knees with those words, and that was wrong. I made assumptions and dumped some of my own baggage on your shoulders, and that was wrong.”
“I do try to help folks. Maybe too much, as it turns out.” She gestured, and he caught her hand with his, holding her lightly so that she could easily pull away if she wanted to.
“If you mean with your ex, he’s an idiot. No offense.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, the action familiar and comforting. “You’re amazing at helping others. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated how you stuck your neck out for me and my sister last weekend.” His voice dropped. “I love how you and I work so well together, professionally and otherwise. I love our connection. I want more.” He paused and pressed his mouth into a tight line.
“But?” Oh, this was going to hurt.
“Deep down, I presumed you’d be like other people who weren’t from the area and, like those people, eventually you’d hate it here and leave. Then, when I overheard your conversation with the locums person, I jumped to the conclusion that everything I had assumed had come true.”
“It’s not like that.”
He gently squeezed her hand. “I know. It wasn’t fair for me to judge you based on my history. It wasn’t fair for me to judge your situation and decisions, based on me.” He flashed a grin. “Not that I wouldn’t love for you to base your decisions on me.”
Sweat prickled at her lower back. “To be fair, I did make a decision this week, and it only partially involved you. The rest of the decision? I had to do what was right for myself.” She swallowed around a lump in her throat. “I was going to talk with you tomorrow, but I probably would have chickened out.”
“This is going to suck, isn’t it?”
“Depends.”
“Damn.”
“I enjoy my practice here in Yukon Valley. It’s a nice group of people. I like working with everyone.”
“But.”
“I’m scared.”
He shifted to face her more squarely, but said nothing. Instead, he simply sat and listened.
“It’s different here. I don’t know for certain that this will be a fit. I mean, it’s beautiful here. I like the people. I feel more like myself in this place than I did in Georgia.”
“Still hearing the but. ” His warm voice wrapped around her like a hug.
“I need to stand on my own two feet financially. Be a confident, complete person first before getting into a long-term relationship. I need to trust myself to choose someone that won’t hurt me.” Damn it . She swiped at a tear. “Sorry. This is heavy stuff.”
“I’m glad you trust me with this.” Maverick tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “What do you need from me?”
“Oh my gosh, you’re wonderful,” she gushed. “This, right here. The support and patience. Problem is, I don’t know long it will take me to trust myself or the situation. I don’t know when I’m going to feel financially safe with a partner again.”
“The last thing I want is for you to feel like you rushed to make any decision. But let me say this. I am falling in love with you. I want to try and make something work between us. Yes, I want you,” he leaned forward and whispered. “Naked on this hospital bed, if I could get away with it.”
Her shudder turned into a laugh. “Guessing the credentialing organizations would not look kindly on that sort of bed utilization.”
“Customer satisfaction would be high.”
“True.”
“What I need you to hear is that you’re worth waiting for. If you want to try for a relationship, then I’m willing to be as patient and creative as needed.”
“Wow, Maverick. That’s—no one has ever said anything like that.”
“Now, see, that’s a crime.” He drew her hand up and brushed his lips over the palm.
Pulling in a big breath, she said, “I turned down the Utah job. I’m going to finish out the assignment here through March, then move to a permanent position in Yukon Valley.”
“That’s great news!”
“I’m a little scared from a financial point of view. But I need to trust myself to be responsible and to trust my instincts about the people around me.”
“If ever I make you feel uncomfortable—financially or otherwise—you have to let me know.”
“It’s mostly a matter of depending on my own gut again.” She pulled his hand to her so she could rest her cheek against it. “You, I can depend on.” She glanced up.
He watched her, steady, waiting.
God, she didn’t deserve this level of patience. “If you’re willing to give this… us… a go, then I’m in a good place to try.”
With a sharp shake of his head, he said, “I don’t want to try.”
Disappointment dropped like a brick into her stomach. “Oh. I mean, sure. Okay. That’s for you to decide, and I understand.”
“Lee.” He let go and cupped her jaw with both of his hands.
“Yes?”
“I’m not interested in a half-assed relationship with you. Not maybe. Not try. I need to know we’re both working toward something meaningful.”
Her heart thumped as she nodded. “I want you, Maverick. I want the guy who loves his dogs and rescues people from car accidents. I want the man who enjoys minus-twenty-degree weather and who values me for who I am.”
“Lee, you have no idea how much you mean to me. You’re an amazing woman and I need you in my life.”
“So that means…”
“Um.”
“That we’re…”
Lines formed around his eyes as he gave a sheepish grin. “I believe the phrase is it’s complicated .”
She snorted. “It fits.”
He leaned over and brushed a kiss over her temple, drawing out shivers. “Wait. Are we allowed to kiss if it’s complicated?”
“Hope so.” She lifted her face to him as his mouth swept against hers, again and again, until she could taste his lips and smell his fresh air and spruce scent deep in her soul.
Outside the trauma bay doors, faint cheers filtered back to them.
Maverick froze, his hand still on her jaw with fingers splayed into her hair. His lips were an inch away.
A light growl came from his throat. “I’m going to kill all of them.”
Then as one, Lee and Maverick stood, ducked around the privacy curtain, and peered through the glass.
Everyone—Dee, Louise, Amberlyn, Clyde, assorted other staff, Bruce and Aggie—crowded around the ED security monitor screen off to the side of the work area.
Lee looked up at the fisheye in the exam room and waved. “Are you kidding me? Okay, y’all, yes, you can see us. Is there no privacy in this place?”
Maverick laced his fingers in hers as he pulled her in for a warm hug. Then they opened the trauma bay door and everyone rushed over to them.
“So? How’d it go?” Dee said. “We had visual but no sound.”
Warmth rose over Lee’s neck. “That’s a privacy violation!”
“It is a public place of business,” Dee said, crossing her arms. “It’s not our fault you used it for a private conversation. Also, you’re not patients.” She paused. “Don’t worry. I turned off the sound. You’re welcome.”
Maverick tapped their joined hands against his leg and grinned down at Lee. “You’re the HIPAA expert.”
“She’s right,” Lee huffed. “We can’t sue.”
Bruce picked up another cookie from the plate on the counter but dropped it when Aggie lightly smacked the back of his hand. “Can I go back home now? I want to watch my program.”
“That was an expensive way to pull one over on us, Bruce,” Maverick said.
“Eh, worth it.” He nodded to Lee. “Well?”
She smiled up at Maverick, who lifted his chin. “I’m staying on in Yukon Valley, and we’re, uh, now both, um… It’s complicated,” she managed.
“Taking things slowly!” Maverick wrapped her up in another big hug, then got pulled away as everyone took turns congratulating both of them.
In the middle of the chaos and happy chatter, the EMS phones went off on Maverick’s and Louise’s hips.
“Gotta go,” he said, giving Lee a quick kiss and running back to snag his hat and coat from the trauma room.
“I’ll be here.” Lee pulled his palm to her cheek, then shooed them out the door.
Another call night and another adventure in Yukon Valley.
The End