4. Chapter 4
Chapter 4
“Interesting,” Malachi murmured, closing and locking the door behind him. “Is it cleaner than usual in here? Is that even possible?”
I’d gotten a lot done while he’d been in the other room setting up Sigmund’s crate. I was practically huffing from sprinting around my room, but everything was just how I wanted it. I’d put my heels back on and perched on the edge of my sturdy oak desk. The one I’d just swept clean, dumping my computer and pen cup into my closet. I toyed with the black box he’d sent me.
“Maybe. Do you want to look from a different angle?” I nodded to the same purple chair I’d stuffed the vibrator behind earlier today. That, too, had moved. His eyes didn’t leave mine as he crossed the room. I’d settled myself directly in his path, so he had to squeeze by me to sit.
He leaned back, looking like he owned the chair, the room, the whole fucking building. The top buttons of his shirt were undone, cuffs open. His legs spread and he propped himself up on his arm, thumbing his lower lip while he studied me. So cocky. And hungry. For me.
“What’s your vision tonight, Kitten? You’ve obviously got something in mind.”
“I thought, for our grand finale, a little performance.”
“It’s always a performance, Rija. If I’d known you were planning something special, I’d have brought a roll of ones.”
“I accept Cash App.” His grin flashed in the dark, the only light coming from the dim lamp in the corner. While he laughed, I leaned forward, using the arms of the chair as leverage to back myself further onto the desk.
His smile vanished. My hand brushed his, the contact jarring. I hissed.
It had occurred to me before that the nature of our interactions made us as sensitized as horny teenagers. I’d never in my life nearly come at the brush of someone’s pinky against my palm. But with Malachi, and our self-imposed celibacy, all things were possible. It was all at once ridiculous and also hot .
“Is it still going to be this good? When we’re able to touch?”
“Rija, I swear to you, and I cannot stress this enough, it will be better than anything in the history of the universe, when I’m finally able to touch you.”
“The whole universe? Well, fuck, no pressure or anything.” I swung my legs around until I was kneeling on the table in front of him.
His fingers swiped across his mouth. Eyes drank me in. “Oh, that’s…that’s just lovely.” His face was level with my hips. He’d have an incredible view of the action once I got started.
“I thought you might like that.” I dragged a palm up my thigh, inching my skirt up a few inches. My other hand ran the corner of the box back and forth over my collarbone. He grunted at the sight.
“What will you do first, Mal? When you can touch me tomorrow? Let me guess…” I tapped a finger to my lips, pouting while I watched him. He looked so relaxed in his body, so rigid in his face. On pins and needles. “Straight for my tits. I know how fond you are of them.”
“ Errrrr . Wrong. You’ve lost your unboxing privileges.” He snatched the box out of my hand without having to leave his seat. We were very close. Perhaps the closest we’d ever been for such a prolonged period.
I watched his long fingers pop the tab open and slide the sleek toy out. The scent of soap and plastic rose between us. He always shipped the vibrators completely cleaned and fully stocked with fresh batteries. I’d never once received one I’d had to prep, myself.
It was the kind of proactive planning I could get behind, and just one more thing I loved about him. Sure, he was sending me a sex toy so he could watch me get off for him, but he was thinking about me at the same time. It was hot on many levels.
I tore my eyes away from his to look at the toy he held between us. “Oh!” I gasped.
“Thought you might like that.” He copied my words from earlier, showing off how it curved at the end. The perfect angle to hit the ever-elusive g-spot. My favorite. “It has ten speeds, too. A few different modes.”
“You spoil me.”
“Absolutely.” He twisted the base. A familiar buzzing sound filled the air. “It’s your mouth, by the way. That’s the first thing I want to know. How you taste. How soft that pouty lip will feel against mine. What’ll it be, Kitten? Soft? Or fast?”
He touched the tip of the vibrator to my thigh. I tensed at the buzzing tickle on my skin. He rolled it up and down. The feel of it against sensitive skin reminded me too much of how it would feel slightly higher.
The thought of him holding it there and looking at me like he was now, like he wanted to devour me, short-circuited something in my brain. We’d never taken it that far before, with him controlling the toy. Another unspoken rule—he stayed in his corner, I stayed in mine.
Tonight, though, so close to the end of our no touching arrangement, maybe we could bend the rules. Just a little.
“Faster,” I whispered. His gaze held mine as he twisted the base again. The tickling on my leg increased.
“Like that?” He growled, staring up at me, eyes dark and hooded.
“Mmm hmm.” I bit my lip, teasing him. “I like it. Do you want to see how much?” I didn’t wait for his permission. I inched my skirt up higher. The fabric slid up my legs, bunching at my hips to give him the perfect view of my lace-covered center. Had I sprinted into my bedroom to change underwear the second I’d had an opportunity? Yes. But the look on his face was well worth it.
He had his presents, I had mine. I’d been saving this sheer black thong, snakes twining inward from my hip bones, for a special occasion.
A groan escaped his lips. The toy halted its rolling on my thigh for a second before Mal resumed the motion.
I knew the picture I presented, and I knew how much it lit him up. He was a man of nuance, reveling in the give and take of sex, the mystery and the reveal. Having me fully clothed, shoes on, while he watched my bare pussy work a vibrator, would send him to his knees.
“Fuck, I want to come in there. Tug on it, Kitten. Work your clit for me.”
I hooked my thumbs into the delicate lace straps, pulling slightly to increase the pressure of the string between my lower lips. My hips rocked nearly without a thought, sliding the lace infinitesimally up and down my clitoris.
“I’m already wet.”
“Of course you are. I can see it shining on that bare pussy. How would you taste there? How would you take my tongue if I slid it up to taste you?”
Since he couldn’t use his hands, his words usually ended up doing most of the work. Thankfully, Malachi was a master of the dirty talk. He could practically bring me to the edge with a pointed look and a few filthy, well-placed words. I’d need a little more than that tonight, though.
He knew it, too. “Show me what you want, Kitten.” He flipped the vibrator around, offering me the base. Instead, I reached for where he held the toy, fingers sliding against his. The hairs on my arms stood on end. His skin was warm and rough.
I dragged the moment out, slipping the pads of my fingers over his knuckles one by one before plucking the toy from him. He stroked his dick over his pants, eyes looking hot.
“Careful, Ri.”
“What are you going to do?” I arched a brow, sliding the humming plastic between my thighs where I craved it. I circled it around the lace between my legs, hooking my finger in the thong to move it to the side.
“Maybe nothing, tonight.”
We both groaned when I slid the toy inside easily. I twisted my wrist so the crooked tip hit that perfect spot at the front.
“Maybe I’ll wait until tomorrow. When I get my hands on you.” His growl slid like silk around me, the words twisting my insides with anticipation. When I get my hands on you . A reminder that we were mere hours away from dropping all the secrets and the pretense. To just be together.
I gasped, working it faster.
“You like the sound of that. But think how much better you’ll feel when it’s my fingers stroking your pretty clit. Me inside you, not a piece of plastic. Look at me, Rija.”
My eyes had drifted closed, imagining the scenario he described. My lashes flickered open at his command.
He looked like a god, sprawled against velvet, propped up on one elbow while he watched me pleasure myself. He stroked lazily at his cock, straining behind the still-closed zipper. Eyes black. Depthless.
“Tell me how I’ll feel, kitten.”
Oh, God. We’d done this so many times, he knew exactly what buttons to push to make me lose it. Forcing me to vocalize my thoughts, fantasies, was the greatest trick up his sleeve. He wasn’t pulling punches tonight.
“Big,” I sucked in a breath. “I’ll be so full…”
“Mm hmm. Where will you want my mouth, Rija? You want my tongue on you? Or teeth?”
I worked my hand faster, but the toy between my legs couldn’t keep up with the desire flooding me. “Both,” I whispered, imagining his lips on my neck. Teeth at my collarbone.
“Greedy.” He sounded like he approved.
“Only for you.”
“That’s right.” His voice was closer. His breath teased across my cheekbones. I’d closed my eyes again. When I blinked them open, he was standing in front of me, inches away. “Just like I’m dying for you. It’s only you, Rija. No one else.”
We’d admitted months ago that neither of us had been seeing anyone else for a while. Say what you would about our fucked-up relationship, at least we were exclusive. Still, the reminder of that fact made me bite my lip. Twist the toy faster.
“Do you know what I would do? If I could touch you right now?”
“Mmph…” I swallowed a moan. He was so close to actually touching me, I could hardly think about anything else. My core tightened at having him so near. His smell—salt and limes—made me want to bury my face in his neck.
“Fuck you faster. Harder.” He took a deep breath, like he was breathing me in, too. “You need more to get there, don’t you?”
The image seared across my brain. His hand on the toy. His actions bringing me pleasure. After so many times doing this myself, the concept felt decadent. Necessary. And so close, I could almost taste it.
“Show me,” I whispered, freezing him in place.
“You want me to take care of you tonight, Kitten?”
I shuddered, loving his choice of words. Taking care of me, because he would. He’d stop at nothing to wring every drop of pleasure from my body. My hand slowed as I nodded my head. Yes. Yes, please .
“You’re sure about this? It’s not house rules.”
It was a step we’d never taken before, but so close to the end of this torturous arrangement, I couldn’t help myself. I needed to know how he’d move inside me, even if it was just by proxy for tonight. “I’m sure. We’re telling her tomorrow, Malachi. I need more.” I could barely get the words out, already panting in anticipation of him giving me pleasure. His movements making me come.
His hand swept lower, grazing where I worked the vibrator in and out. Every muscle in my body clenched. Fingers brushed again. This time, he cupped his hand around mine, moving it in a harder rhythm.
“Fuck, Rija,” he whispered, mouth so close to mine, I could swear our lips brushed. He stared down my body, taking in my breasts in the low cut top. The movement of our hands together. Together, taking me higher.
“Other hand, Kitten. Pet that clit for me. Keep this up. That’s it.”
I whimpered when he stepped back, nearly pitching off the desk as I leaned after him. It had been too good, and I hadn’t had enough. I needed more, I needed all of it….
He stopped me with a warning look. The wildness in his eyes told me he was too close to snapping. “I’m playing by your rules, Ri. You wanted to put on one last show.”
He unbuttoned his pants, working the zipper down. His cock sprang free, thick and hard, making my mouth water. The sight of it made my muscles clasp the toy tighter. The new pressure, combined with the quick beat Malachi had started, made me cry out softly.
He fisted his length, already jerking it hard. No soft buildup or coy strokes.
“Mal,” I gasped, keeping the vibrator right…there… I was close. He was, too. I could see it in the straining of his neck. “You’re…already…” I whined, head tilting back on my neck. Body bowing with pleasure.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” Malachi swore, the desperation in his voice drawing my attention back. The vibrator moved at the same speed as his fist sliding up and down. I could almost imagine it was him inside me, hitting my g spot and making my vision sparkle. “Harder on your clit, Ri.”
My fingers strummed faster, the feeling shooting my hips up an inch. Everything in me tightened, bearing down on the toy bringing me so much pleasure.
My climax washed over me, pebbling my skin. I gasped at the feeling. Sobbed that it wasn’t what I wanted. Needed.
“You’ll have me soon, Kitten, I promise. I’ll give you everything you need. Damn .” My lashes fluttered open. I wanted to see him when he came, too. His hand pounded his dick, hard and fast. “I would die to have that sweet pussy wrapped around me right now, instead of my fingers. You’d be so hot, Kitten. Would you suck me up? Milk me dry with how much you wanted me?”
His words were setting off more fireworks between my legs. Prolonging the orgasm I didn’t want to end. I couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving this room.
“Yes, I want you to come inside me.”
“Fuck, fuck , Rija.” The image sent him over the edge. Thick white ropes spilled over his hand while he stroked himself. He didn’t take his eyes off me.
“I want to kiss you.”
I let the toy fall out of me. Clicked it off. We stared at each other. His words were bitter. Harsh and sour when we should have been sated and relaxed. I hated it, but I understood it. Regardless of how good I had just felt, I wanted him . Not a vibrator. The aching, jealous feeling had been getting worse and worse lately.
“Tomorrow, Mal,” I whispered, setting the toy aside and sitting down to let my legs swing off the edge of the desk. I swallowed under the weight of his gaze.
“I’d loop that hair around my fist. Mouth on yours. Suck on your tongue.” His hand ran down his face. Eyes finally left mine, squeezing shut. “Clean you up. Hold you. Sleep with you in my arms.”
“Tomorrow, Carino.”
He grimaced, his head hitting the back of the chair. His eyes raked over me as he wiped his other hand on his pants. He loved when I called him that. My sweetheart. The same thing my grandmother had called my grandfather before he passed.
“I hate this.” He stood, brushing against my legs.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered down at my lap. It was always like this now. One amazing thrill and then…the emptiness. I wanted him to kiss me. Hold me. As much as I loved him, I hated this, too.
“It’s not your fault, Kitten. Just a few more hours and then…” His hand hovered over my cheek. I wanted to feel it on my skin.
“Just a few more.”
He left, casting one last look backwards as he tucked himself back into his pants. I brushed my teeth and peeled out of my birthday outfit, opting for an extra-large T-shirt that said, “educated drug dealer” on the front and “nurse practitioner” on the back. My sheets were cold. My pillow wouldn’t bunch up the way I wanted it to. I couldn’t get rid of the prickly feeling in my chest.
It was ridiculous, I knew. We’d tell Sonia tomorrow. And then we’d be together. It was silly to be sad tonight. But I was.
My door opened softly.
“I thought, if I can’t be close to you tonight, maybe he could?”
Mal tipped a sleepy Sigmund onto my bed. The puppy pawed around for a moment before curling up in the crook of my shoulder, his little nose resting on my neck.
My eyes prickled, but this time, it had nothing to do with sadness.
I love you . I almost whispered. But not right now. Not before we’d ever even kissed. Tomorrow, maybe.
“Thank you,” I said instead.
He twined his fingers with mine, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand. Definitely against the rules. Definitely what I needed right at this moment. How did he always know?
I slept soundly with my dog all night, waiting for tomorrow.