15. Lillian
LILLIAN
L illian sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the message from Rebecca, her heart pounding in her chest.
Her first instinct had been to shut down, to build a wall to protect herself from being hurt again.
Rebecca’s coldness earlier in the hospital had cut deep—deeper than Lillian wanted to admit.
But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she didn’t want to let go of what they had. Not yet.
They had something real, something worth fighting for.
And for the first time, Lillian could feel that Rebecca was trying.
It wasn’t easy for her—Rebecca was guarded, complex—but there was something there, something tender and raw beneath the surface.
Lillian had seen it in those quiet moments, in the way Rebecca had held her after their night together, in the way she had stayed for breakfast.
And now, this message. It wasn’t perfect, but it was honest. It was an attempt to make things right.
Llllian took a deep breath, her fingers trembling slightly as she typed her reply.
Yes. Let’s talk.
A couple of hours later, Lillian found herself sitting across from Rebecca in her apartment.
The air was thick with anticipation, both of them unsure of how to start the conversation.
Rebecca looked different—more vulnerable, less guarded than usual.
Lillian could see the tension in her jaw, the way her fingers fidgeted nervously in her lap.
"I’m sorry, Lillian," Rebecca said softly, breaking the silence. "I know I’ve been...difficult. Especially today. I didn’t mean to hurt you."
Lillian sighed, her heart softening at the genuine regret in Rebecca’s voice. She had never heard Rebecca apologize like this before. "It hurt, Rebecca. The way you shut me out at the hospital, it made me feel like I didn’t matter. Like I was just another intern."
Rebecca’s gaze dropped to her hands, her voice quiet. "I know. I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just...when I’m at the hospital, it’s hard for me to balance the personal with the professional. I’m so used to keeping everything separate. But that’s not fair to you. You deserve more than that."
Lillian felt a warmth spread through her chest at those words. Rebecca was admitting her flaws, something she had rarely done in the time they’d known each other. It was a step toward something better, something real.
"I get it," Lillian said gently, reaching across the table to take Rebecca’s hand. "I know how much you value your professionalism, and I respect that. But I need to feel like I matter to you, even when we’re at work. I don’t expect you to be someone different at the hospital, but I need to know that when we’re outside of it, things are different. That you care."
Rebecca’s fingers tightened around Lillian’s, her gaze lifting to meet hers. "I do care, Lillian. More than I’ve cared about anyone in a long time. And I want this to work. But I think we need some boundaries—rules, maybe—to make sure we don’t keep hurting each other."
Lillian nodded, feeling a glimmer of hope flicker inside her. "Okay. What kind of rules?"
Rebecca thought for a moment, her brows furrowing as she considered her words.
"We need to keep things professional at the hospital. I can’t.
.. I can’t be the same person I am with you in private when I’m there.
It’s not just about appearances; it’s about how I’ve trained myself to operate in that environment. "
"I understand," Lillian said softly. "I don’t need you to be warm and affectionate at work. I just need to know that, when we leave the hospital, it’s different. That I’m not just another colleague to you."
"You’re not," Rebecca said firmly. "You’re not, Lillian. I promise, outside the hospital, it’s just us. No walls. No pretending. Just me and you."
Lillian’s heart swelled at the sincerity in Rebecca’s voice. It was what she had needed to hear—confirmation that, outside the sterile walls of the hospital, Rebecca was willing to be vulnerable, to be herself. That she cared.
"And in private," Rebecca continued, her tone softer now, "I’ll make sure you know how much you mean to me. I want to be there for you—emotionally, not just physically. I know I’m not great at it, but I’m trying."
Lillian smiled, her hand still holding tightly to Rebecca’s. "That’s all I need, Rebecca. Just to know that you’re trying. That you’re in this with me."
Rebecca’s lips quirked into a small, tentative smile. "I am. I’m all in."
The tension between them seemed to dissolve in that moment, replaced by something warmer, something more hopeful. Lillian could feel the shift and knew this was different. This was progress.
"And maybe," Lillian added, her voice lightening with a teasing note, "you can let me in a little more. Not just when things are perfect, but when they’re hard too. I want to be there for you, Rebecca. I want to know the real you."
Rebecca’s smile widened just a fraction, her eyes softening. "I think I can try that. I want to let you in, Lillian. It’s just going to take time."
Lillian nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. "We’ll take it one step at a time. As long as we’re doing it together."
Rebecca’s gaze softened, and for the first time in a long while, Lillian felt like they were truly on the same page. This wasn’t just an affair anymore; it was the beginning of something real. And the weight of the day, the hurt, the confusion—it all seemed to lift in that moment.
The space between them closed as Rebecca leaned in, her lips brushing gently against Lillian’s. The kiss was soft, tender, but filled with a quiet promise. They had been through so much—misunderstandings, hurt feelings, distance—but now, they were finding their way back to each other.
Lillian deepened the kiss, her hands sliding up to cradle Rebecca’s face, pulling her closer. There was no hesitation, no coldness. Just warmth and need, the kind that had been building between them for weeks, waiting for the right moment to be unleashed.
When they finally pulled apart, Lillian rested her forehead against Rebecca’s, their breaths mingling in the quiet room. "So, does this mean we’re officially figuring things out?" she asked, her voice playful but filled with hope.
Rebecca chuckled softly, her fingers tracing the edge of Lillian’s jaw. "Yeah. I think it does."
The rest of the evening passed in a blur of soft touches, whispered confessions, and quiet laughter. They didn’t need grand declarations or dramatic gestures—just the knowledge that they were both trying, that they were both in this for the long haul.
Later, as they lay tangled in the sheets, the moonlight casting a soft glow across the room, Lillian felt a sense of peace settle over her. Rebecca’s arm was draped across her waist, her breath warm against Lillian’s shoulder.
It wasn’t perfect. They still had work to do, still had boundaries to navigate. But for the first time, Lillian felt like they were truly moving in the right direction.
"Hey," Rebecca murmured sleepily from beside her, her fingers lazily tracing circles on Lillian’s skin.
"Hmm?" Lillian replied, her voice equally drowsy.
"Thank you," Rebecca whispered. "For being patient with me. For not giving up."
Lillian smiled, her heart swelling with affection. "I’m not going anywhere, Rebecca."
And in that moment, she knew it was true. Whatever challenges lay ahead, whatever coldness they had to navigate at the hospital, Lillian was willing to fight for this—for them.
Because now, she knew. Rebecca cared. And that was all she needed to face whatever came next.
As they drifted off to sleep, Lillian couldn’t help but feel hopeful. For the first time in a long time, she believed that maybe—just maybe—they could be happy together.
Over the next few weeks, something shifted between Lillian and Rebecca. The walls that had once felt insurmountable between them started to crumble. Their relationship blossomed, slowly but surely, transforming from something guarded and uncertain into something deeper, more real.
The hospital remained a place of professionalism, but outside those walls, they were becoming something more, something Lillian had hoped for from the beginning. Every time they met in private, there was warmth, care, and passion.
One evening, after a long, grueling day at the hospital, Lillian found herself sprawled on Rebecca’s couch, a glass of wine in hand, her legs draped over Rebecca’s lap. The scent of freshly cooked pasta lingered in the air—Rebecca’s surprisingly good attempt at making dinner for the two of them.
Lillian laughed as she watched Rebecca scroll through movie options on the TV. "I still can’t believe you’re into action movies. You, the queen of control, getting all worked up over car chases and explosions?"
Rebecca smirked, nudging Lillian’s leg playfully. "What can I say? I have layers."
Lillian’s smile softened, her heart swelling as she leaned in to kiss Rebecca’s shoulder. "Yeah, you do."
It was these moments—these quiet, simple nights—that made Lillian realize just how much she was falling for Rebecca. There was no grand romance, no dramatic declarations, but the intimacy they shared felt steady and sure, like they were building something that could last.
As the movie started and the opening action sequence exploded onto the screen, Lillian rested her head on Rebecca’s shoulder, her fingers tracing lazy patterns along Rebecca’s arm.
In moments like these, everything felt easy, natural.
And for the first time, Lillian felt like she had a real partner—someone who cared, someone who was trying.
"You okay?" Rebecca asked, glancing down at her with a small smile.
Lillian nodded, her eyes closing as she nestled closer. "Yeah. I’m more than okay."