Chapter 19 #2
He doesn’t say this to impress me. He means it. And I feel myself soften, just a little.
Jonas finishes his wine and sets the glass down, rolling it between his fingers like he’s deciding whether or not to say what’s on his mind. Finally, he looks up. “Can I ask you something?”
I brace myself. “Sure.”
“What’s it like…being back in the middle of all this?”
I raise a brow. “Define ‘all this’.”
He gives me a look. “You know what I mean. The Dempsey-Paradise mess.”
Ah. There it is. I shrug, trying to be casual. “So far it’s quieter than I expected, honestly.”
Jonas folds his arms. “Yeah. That’s what worries me.”
“Evelyn is always annoyed about something, one Paradise or another. When I moved out during high school, she was in a rage about Max Paradise.” My stomach tightens. “You think something new is coming?”
He nods slowly. “It’s always been like this—years of peace, then boom. Someone says something or does something, and the whole town’s taking sides again. Neighbors stop speaking. Businesses suffer. Kids get pulled out of sports teams. It’s stupid. And ugly.”
I look down at my half-eaten meal. “Sounds about right.”
“When I was a rookie cop,” he says, “there was a fight outside O’Shea’s. Max Paradise and your Uncle Franklin nearly went at each other with beer bottles. We had to break it up before it got bloody.”
What a mess. “That tracks.”
“It always starts with land or water or money, but it never ends there. It gets personal.” He pauses. “I don’t think most people even remember how it started anymore. They just inherited the grudge.”
“Yeah.” My voice is quieter now. I know. My great grandfather eight generations back got swindled when he sold his pelts to their great grandfather eight generations back, and it exploded into land, livestock, and water disputes—and murders. “It’s like family currency.”
Jonas studies me. “And you’re okay being back in the middle of that?”
I pause. The honest answer? No. I’m not. Especially when I’m sneaking around with a person who would make every Dempsey ancestor roll in their graves.
But I just shrug. “I’m used to it.”
He doesn’t press, but his eyes linger for a second longer than I’d like.
As if he’s trying to figure out what I’m not saying.
“Look,” he says, “I’m glad things are calm right now.
But if this is just the quiet before the storm…
I worry about what happens next. There have been deaths in both families, and the fallout pulls in the entire valley.
My grandmother still talks about an unsolved murder from back in the day.
It all comes down to the family feud. I just want more for you than that. ”
That steals my breath a moment, because he’s right. That’s exactly where I am—caught between loyalty and resentment, history and desire, family and whatever the hell Ryker and I are. Or were. Or could be. I want more than that for myself too.
I force a smile. “Thanks, Jonas. I hope maybe we’ve evolved to being less toxic if that’s what we can call it.”
“Just be careful,” he says. “If something’s brewing, I don’t want to see you caught in the crossfire.”
I nod and reach for my wine. Little does he know, I’m already right in the middle of what could be the next match to blow things up.
After a little while, the server clears our plates.
Jonas smiles. “This has been a lot of fun tonight.”
I nod. “Thank you for getting me out.”
“I’ve been teaching myself how to cook. Maddie says my eggs are ‘not disgusting anymore’, which is high praise. I don’t think you’re quite over that boyfriend in Vancouver, but when you are, maybe you’d like to come over, and I can cook us up a good meal.”
Suddenly, I’m relieved, not because I don’t like Jonas, but because I think I just want some friends, and this gives me an out, even if it’s not particularly accurate.
“That sounds perfect,” I tell him. “Thank you.”
“So, what’s next for you?” he asks. “How are you going to get your jewelry to turn more of a profit?”
“I’m not sure,” I say with a sigh. “Right now I’m mostly stuck behind a register at the vineyard gift shop. Not exactly what I pictured when I moved home.”
“You’re too smart for that,” he says immediately.
I blink. “Thanks.”
“Seraphina mentioned that you were looking into something with the Black Bear Wine Consortium?”
“I had a meeting, yeah,” I admit. “An interview. I’m hoping they have something where I can actually use my brain and experience. But they may not want a Dempsey, because the valley does have more than two hundred other vineyards that have nothing to do with my family.”
He shrugs. “Well, it’s not your fault who you’re related to. Surely, they’ll see what you have to offer.”
The words are so simple, but they land heavy. Kindness always does when you’re not expecting it.
I smile. “Thanks. Most people don’t see it that way.”
“I’ve been on enough calls with families falling apart to know blood doesn’t guarantee anything.” He gives me a pointed look. “It’s who shows up that matters.”
I nod. “Thanks for saying that.”
We step out into the chilly spring night, leaving behind the sounds of clinking glasses and soft French music as the restaurant door swings shut.
Jonas walks me to my car, his hands in his pockets, the dark sky with pinpricks of stars above.
I unlock the car door, then turn to him. “Thank you. For dinner. And for being…patient.”
He smiles, a little wistfully, I think. “I had a great time.”
I nod, meaning it, even if it doesn’t feel like enough. “Me too.”
He tilts his head, studying me with that calm, steady gaze. I’m sure it’s the way I flinch when he moves toward me, the pause before every answer. He’s putting it all together, I can tell.
“Does the guy on your mind deserve you?” he asks.
I swallow hard. “Probably not.”
Jonas chuckles softly. “Most of us don’t. But when you’re ready—really ready—promise you’ll let me take you out again?”
I smile, grateful once again for his kindness. “I promise.”
He opens the car door for me like the gentleman he is, and I slide inside. As I drive off, I can see him in the rearview mirror, hands still in his pockets, watching me go.
When I get home, the caretaker house is dark and quiet. I kick off my heels in the entry and lean back against the door.
I was a lousy date.
Jonas deserved better than half of me, better than distracted smiles and forced conversation and a heart tangled up in a man I’m trying so hard to forget.
But what if Sadie was right, and it’s worth the risk? I wake up craving the heat of his skin, the press of his body against my back, the sound of his voice when he says my name in the dark. No one else has ever made me feel both treasured and ruined at the same time.
I cross my arms and close my eyes. I don’t know how to stop wanting him, but I don’t know how to move forward, either.
I think about what Jonas said, that things have been a little too quiet between the families. Everyone’s waiting for the next explosion.
I stare at my phone for a full minute before finally typing.
Me: Went out with Jonas Goodwin tonight. Thought you should hear it from me.
The dots appear right away. Then disappear.
My heart pounds. I try to walk away from the screen, but I don’t make it three steps before the phone rings.
I stare at his name, adrenaline zinging through me. I screwed up. I should have told him over the phone. Or why did I tell him at all? It’s not like that was the start of something. But now, I have to answer.
“Hey,” I say, my voice low. “You okay?”
Ryker exhales. “Now, I am.”
I press the phone tighter to my ear.
“I know I shouldn’t have called,” he says. “I told myself I wouldn’t, that I’d give you space. But I’d already been staring at my ceiling for an hour, thinking about the way you looked in my bed two nights ago. And then I got your text.”
I close my eyes. My whole body tightens.
“I’m not trying to make this harder for you. I just…needed to hear your voice. Even if it’s you telling me to fuck off.”
I let out a breath that’s almost a laugh.
“Was he good enough?” he asks after a moment.
I pause. “He was…safe.”
Ryker’s voice lowers. “You and me? We’re never going to be safe. But we could be worth it.” When I don’t respond, he adds, “Was it serious?”
“No.” I put my feet up on the coffee table. I have to be honest. “Just dinner. No spark.”
He exhales. “Then why go?”
“Because whatever’s happening between us is dangerous. We both know it. And I don’t know what to do with it.”
“Dangerous?” he repeats.
“Jonas brought it up tonight. He’s waiting for the town to explode. Ryker, we’ll be the match that lights the fire again if this gets out.”
“I don’t care if they burn down the whole valley,” he says. “I’m not giving you up just because our families can’t get over something.”
“Well, I do care.” My voice cracks. “I’m not willing to be the reason things explode again.”
“You’re not the reason. They are.”
“That doesn’t matter when the fallout hits everyone we love.”
“So what, we just give up? Walk away?”
“I’m saying…I don’t see a way forward. Not right now.”
“But I do,” he says. “And I’m not letting this go.”
I blink fast, willing myself not to fall apart. “Don’t make this harder.”
“I’m not trying to. I just want you to know, when you’re ready to stop pretending this doesn’t mean something, I’ll be here.”