9. Scarlett
9
SCARLETT
M y feet hurt from being on them all day, but that was pretty normal. The bakery didn't seem to function at full speed without me here, and I'd missed too much time over the past few weeks. I knew the weight Nellie was pulling, filling in for me, and I had to keep making it up to her. I needed her here more than she knew, and I was very grateful she was sticking with me even through the hard moments, which I hoped there would be fewer and fewer of them.
I slipped into my office, glancing at the package sitting on a black plastic chair. I smiled at it knowing Ethan was going to love it. Then I dug into my purse where I stashed the surprise I had for Nellie. I had stopped by the bank on my nine o'clock break to withdraw some more cash. The bakery had made a decent profit, and with all her hard work, I believed Nellie deserved an extra special Christmas present. Another five-hundred-dollar bonus was tucked away in a sealed envelope.
I took out the envelope and slid it into my apron pocket. It was nearing 6 p.m. The bakery was closing early tonight because it was Christmas Eve. I knew Nellie's family traditions were tomorrow morning, and I wanted to get her home as soon as possible so she could finish her last-minute shopping or wrapping. So I snuck out to the kitchen where she was finishing the last few pans. She had her back to me, and I grinned as I walked up to her.
"Hey," I said softly, and she glanced over her shoulder. She'd been a little better since the Christmas market, but she still wasn't 100 percent happy with me. I knew it was my fault and didn't blame her at all. I felt guilty, and at the same time I felt appreciative. Without her covering for me, I'd have had to shut the bakery down. Ethan was sick and he needed me with him more.
"Hey…" She turned back to her work, and I leaned on the edge of the stainless steel sink. Her shoulders were slumped and her eyes had bags under them. It was pretty normal after a few busy weeks for both of us to look like this. Being a baker was exhausting work.
"I have something for you," I told her as she rinsed the last pan and put it into the sanitizing machine. Then she picked up a towel off the prep table behind her and dried her hands, finally turning to look me in the eye.
I pulled the envelope out of my pocket and held it out for her. She glanced at it with confusion. "What's this?"
"It's your Christmas bonus…And my thank you too. I know the past few weeks have been so busy for us and right at our busiest time I've had this thing with Ethan." I hung my head as the guilt swirled around my chest and tightened my shoulders. "I want you to know that I appreciate your help."
Nellie tore the envelope open and looked at the crisp bills and offered a sigh and a soft smile. "You already gave me a thank you, but this is extra nice of you. Thank you." There was genuine forgiveness in her eyes, though there was still a tinge of frustration there too. I still didn't blame her. This was my bakery, but I'd been expecting her to put in the effort like it was hers, like she was building her dream. I felt like I'd taken her for granted.
"I do honestly appreciate everything you're doing here. I'm sorry I can't offer more. With Ethan's medical bills…"
"It's okay, Scarlett. Let's just put it behind us. They have him on meds that are working, right? So hopefully he'll get better and we can move on." She tucked the envelope into her pocket and tossed the towel onto the table again. "I'm taking off," she said as she untied her apron and tossed it onto the table too. "See you on Thursday."
I sighed and stepped back so she could pass by me. It wasn't the happy reception I'd hoped for, like at the Christmas market, but she wasn't being as sullen with me anymore so that was positive. I hoped both of us could relax and enjoy tomorrow—a much-needed day off after a super busy run for weeks in a row.
When I heard the back door of the bakery shut, I went back to my office and grabbed my jacket, purse, and package, then I slipped back into the kitchen to start the sanitizer. Five minutes later, I was on my way home on slippery roads. It took me a bit longer than normal with the precipitation falling. They were calling for an inch of ice, but I hoped the temperature plummeted overnight and we got snow instead. Ethan would like that more than ice. Though, once he saw the package I got him, he'd forget all about the weather.
When I walked through the door, Ethan was sitting in front of the TV watching Elf , and the babysitter—Tina from upstairs—perked her head up and smiled.
"Hey, Mrs. Moore, glad you're back. I still have to get to the mall tonight." Her black curls danced as she bobbed over to me and accepted the thirty dollars I offered her. For a fourteen-year-old that was decent money for a day of work.
"Thanks, Tina. Was he good?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't "Mrs." It was "Miss." So I just let her call it how she saw it.
"Oh, Ethan? He was a doll. Though there were a few times he said his belly hurt." She frowned. "I think it was too many Christmas treats."
I shrugged out of my coat and hung it on the row of hooks for our jackets and Ethan's backpacks. "Alright, I'll have a look at him in a bit. Merry Christmas…Don't let me keep you."
I smiled as she darted out the door, slamming it behind herself. Only then did Ethan look up and his eyes got huge.
"Is that for me?" he asked, nodding at the bright blue paper with pixelated creatures all over it. The game store sold lots of different patterns of wrapping paper, and I'd chosen Ethan's favorite in a nod to the item wrapped inside it—a new Xbox.
"It is! But you can't have it until tomorrow morning," I told him, laughing playfully as he darted over to me and tried taking it from my hands. I held it up high as he swiped at it, and while I was happy that he was excited and eager to see it, I felt concern snake up my chest and wrap around my throat.
I didn't know if I was seeing things but the same blue tinge of his lips a few weeks ago seemed to be making an appearance again. It made my chest ache and my mind go frantic with worry.
"Did you eat?" I asked him, and I walked over toward the Christmas tree.
Ethan calmed and followed me, and while he did mumble, "Yeah, pizza," I was more worried about this symptom and what it meant.
"Feeling okay now?"
"Fine…Can I just open one tonight?"
"Tomorrow," I coached, and I put the gift next to the stack of other gifts he had sorted out and piled in one spot. They were all his and he was too happy to get them.
"Mom, that's not fair. All the kids at school?—"
"Ah…But I'm not all the kids at school's mom." I winked at him and tousled his hair and noticed the blue tinge was gone. Maybe I was seeing things. Maybe my fear was just making me hallucinate.
"Dang it." He stomped his foot and crossed his arms over his chest, and I put my arm around him and guided him toward the couch.
"Let's watch this movie, then we'll go to bed early. And when you wake up you can wake me up." He dragged his feet as we walked and I chuckled.
"Even if the sun's not up?" he asked, though I knew he'd sleep until at least 8 a.m.
"Even if the sun's not up…" I repeated, and we plopped onto the couch.
The movie was about halfway over, and I kept checking the time. Ethan seemed sleepier than normal, so when he dozed off just as Santa's sleigh was stuck in Central Park, I turned the volume down and laid a blanket over him. He was as exhausted as I was, but even still, he'd sleep longer than me. My schedule at the bakery had me up by three every day. Sleeping until six would be a dream.
I changed into a pajama shirt and shorts and curled up in bed. My phone was lying on my nightstand plugged in, and I should have been able to shut off and just sleep. Every cell in my body was fatigued. But my mind kept playing back the trip to the ER and me being so scared that Ethan was going to die. Every time I closed my eyes I saw his blue lips. I couldn't sleep if I tried, so I pulled out my phone and texted Nick.
Scarlett 7:49 PM: Hey … you busy?
He responded immediately, not that I was surprised. No one was working this late on Christmas Eve, at least not those with routine jobs, and as a specialist, Nick could pick his own hours.
Nick 7:49 PM: Free as a bird. What's up?
Scarlett 7:50 PM: I'm just worried. You know…mom stuff.
Nick 7:50 PM: About what?
Scarlett 7:50 PM: About Ethan. I swear his lips were blue again tonight. The babysitter said his belly hurt too…
I was probably overthinking things like those parents whose kid gets a sniffle and they rush to the ER, but my kid had a diagnosed hereditary condition that could kill him. I was right to be worried. I'd given my own blood for the DNA testing, but the results weren't in. Knowing where he got it, however, wasn't going to fix it.
Nick 7:51 PM: Look, is he breathing normally?
Scarlett 7:51 PM: He's sleeping peacefully on the couch. No complaints.
Nick 7:51 PM: Then just trust that the medicine is doing its job. If the symptoms we spoke about during his checkup appear, just message me first. If it's bad we'll get a ambulance to you, okay? He's going to be fine. I promise you.
Nick's promise wasn't good enough for me though. It wasn't that I doubted his expertise; it was hardwired into my DNA to worry about my child. Nothing would make me feel better until Nick and the other doctors told me Ethan was cured, which I didn't think would ever happen, not with a condition like this. I laid my phone down and sighed, frowning at the wall. Reaching for Nick was supposed to help me feel better, but it hadn't helped at all.
A few minutes later my phone buzzed again so I picked it up, still unable to sleep.
Nick 8:02 PM: I was going to ask you to go with me to this thing…It's a hospital New Year's Eve gala. A fundraiser…ritzy and all that. I need a plus one.
I sighed. It sounded wonderful but I had nothing to wear to something like that. I was hesitant to give an immediate response too, and before I started typing I got another message.
Nick 8:02 PM: And before you say no, I'll buy your gown, jewelry, shoes, anything you need. I've had no one to spend my money on in almost a decade. Let me spoil you. Send me your sizes and I'll have it delivered that morning.
My heart swelled and I got a giddy smile on my face. I answered a fast, "yes" and then shot him my sizes. I felt like Cinderella getting ready for a ball and that made me forget all about the obsessive worry I'd been stewing on. Now I just had to line up a babysitter on short notice. This was going to be fun.